Happy Saturdaze, crime slicksters. Are you ready for a balls-out, swift KICK in your face? How about a PUNCH in the gut? A CRACK to your ribcage? Well, then you've reached the right place ... where you can get That Killing Feeling.Onto today's joint from A DISH BEST KILLED. Femme fatale/d-movie actress Haven Crayce has a tiff with her husband, 88-year old film legend Dart Crayce on the houseboat, then ...
Having taken care of that, Haven makes arrangements for a little 'personal training' session with her new squeeze, Jett Targo, an innocent from Kansas, built like a linebacker, with the heart of a little girl.
But then, just as things are looking up, Rush Madder, a tweaker outlaw from Jett's past, shows up on the scene to stir up a little trouble ...
INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
A large room which takes up the entire third floor.
Hospital bed faces a giant movie screen.
Shades drawn. Dimly lit by a single bedside lamp.
We see movie memorabilia in the shadows.
In bed lies DART CRAYCE (88). Skeletal.
White-haired, gimlet-eyed. Sunken, ruined skin.
Right now he’s hooked up to a dialysis machine,
hoses like tentacles. The machine HUMS.
DART
What took you so long?
HAVEN
What are you talking about?
I came right away.
DART
I heard voices. Who’s down there?
HAVEN
Someone I met walking Buster.
She wanted to see the boat.
DART
A woman --
HAVEN
Of course, silly. You’re the only man for me.
DART
Bring me a diet Vernor’s.
And it’s time to set up the picture for tonight.
HAVEN
Right away.
I’ll be back in two shakes of a -- of a --
DART
LAMB’S TAIL.
And tell your guest to leave.
You need to set up the projector.
HAVEN
Sure thing.
She turns, leaves.
ON THE STAIRS
HAVEN (CONT'D)
Nasty old fuck.
IN THE GALLEY
Jett is looking at a framed picture of Dart
with Humphrey Bogart and Barbara Stanwyck.
Smiles all around.
HAVEN (O.C.) (CONT'D)
That was taken on the set of Blood Gets In Your Eyes.
JETT
I know. It’s one of my favorite films.
Barbara Stanwyck’s first time with Bogie.
HAVEN
You’re a personal trainer, right?
JETT
Yeah. How did you know?
HAVEN
I’ve seen you training people on the beach.
(beat)
I’m all seeing and all knowing.
Pause.
JETT
Do you want me to -- train you?
HAVEN
I need -- training.
(beat)
Shall we make it tomorrow morning, say around ten?
JETT
I think I can squeeze you in.
HAVEN
It’s a date.
(kisses Jett on the cheek)
Thanks for coming by.
I’ve gotta go take care of hubby now.
Sponge bath and a movie.
PUSH IN ON Jett. About to explode.
JETT
Sounds like -- fun.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
An old apartment building between two three-million dollar homes.
On the cheap side of the Grand Canal’s Silver Strand.
Jett stands on the front stoop. Fishes out her keys.
Unlocks the door. Starts to push it open, when --
MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Where have you been?
I’ve been waiting for over an hour.
Jett WHIPS AROUND to see --
RUSH MADDER (25). Blonde. Ghostly. Jittery.
Bloodshot eyes. Pierced eyebrows.
Skinny black jeans. The all-American tweaker.
With that never-scrubbed ‘up for three days’ look.
JETT
Rush. What are you doing here?
RUSH
(wipes his nose)
I thought we could hang out.
JETT
It’s over, Rush. I told you.
I don’t want to see you anymore.
(starts to push the door closed)
I’m sorry, goodbye.
Rush GRABS the door. Eyes flashing. Menacing sneer.
RUSH
Don’t close the fucking door on me!
I drove all the way from Long Beach to see you,
and this is the thanks I get?
(beat)
I brought you a gift. Check it out.
He pulls out a glass vial. Holds it up. Sickly smile.
Jett SLAMS the door on Rush’s foot. He SCREAMS in pain.
RUSH (CONT’D)
OW, Fuck! That HURT --
Jett KICKS Rush’s foot out.
BANGS the door closed. LOCKS it.
JETT
(through the glass window)
I asked you to stay AWAY from me,
and I tried to be NICE about it,
but OBVIOUSLY that doesn’t WORK with you.
I don’t want to SEE YOU anymore.
STAY AWAY from me.
RUSH
What did I do?
I never did anything to hurt you.
C’mon, Jett -- please.
JETT
GO AWAY!
She turns on her heel and races up the stairs, two at a time.
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