Happy Hump day, crime slicksters. Are you ready for a balls-out, bare-knuckled punch of hardboiled/noir/pulp fiction that'll knock you flat on your ass? Then you've come to the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.Onto today's joint from A DISH BEST KILLED. Better hold onto your laptops, kids, cause things are about to get bloody ...
D-movie starlet Haven Crayce's partner in crime Jett Targo and Rush Madder are about to dispose of sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz's dead body out at sea, when Jett suddenly turns the tables on Rush ... with a deadly surprise ...
INT. THE SAFE HAVEN HOUSEBOAT - NIGHT
Trimmer jumps out of bed. Stands. Puffs out his chest.
TRIMMER
You can’t shoot me. I’m a cop.
JETT
You’re confusing me with someone who gives a shit.
TRIMMER
(walks toward Jett)
Give me the gun.
Jett fires. BANG. BANG. BANG.
A trio of rose petals bloom on Trimmer’s wife beater.
He looks down, in shock.
TRIMMER (CONT’D)
You fucking SHOT me.
He staggers. GRABS onto the side table.
JETT
Well, whaddaya know.
Haven LEAPS out of bed. Goes to Jett. Gets behind her.
HAVEN
DIE, you fucking creep! DIE.
Trimmer slumps to the floor. Pulls out his cell phone.
TRIMMER
Gotta -- call -- this in --
Jett FIRES again. BANG. BANG. BANG.
Trimmer’s head hits the wall with a THUD.
Lights out. Blood pools in the carpet.
JETT
You’ve been suspended from duty, officer.
She looks at Haven. Bursts into WILD LAUGHTER.
HAVEN
You did it!
JETT
And it felt so GOOD.
Rush comes in. Out of breath.
RUSH
(to Jett)
I heard the shots. Is he -- you know.
HAVEN
Who are the fuck are YOU?
(to Jett)
Do you know this guy?
JETT
(to Rush)
I told you to stay in the car.
(to Haven)
It’s okay, he’s cool.
An old friend of mine from back home.
RUSH
Hey.
(holds his crotch)
Can I use the head? I gotta take a wicked piss.
HAVEN
Down the hall, second door on your left.
Rush ambles away.
HAVEN (CONT’D)
Jett?
JETT
It’s a long story. Rush and I go way back.
He came to visit, and I can’t get rid of him.
He followed me the night we --
you know, so now he wants in.
Wants a cut for keeping quiet.
I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to --
HAVEN
You offered him a CUT OF THE FUCKING MONEY?
JETT
No, of course not. I just need his help with --
(points at Trimmer’s body)
This thing, and --
(whispers)
Then I’ll -- take care of him.
HAVEN
Goddammit, Jett.
(beat)
What can I do?
JETT
(looks at Trimmer)
Give me his uniform.
HAVEN
His uniform? Why do you want to --
PUSH IN ON Jett. Unbuckling her belt.
JETT
Burial at sea.
EXT. OCEAN - SHERIFF’S BOAT - NIGHT
Jett wears Trimmer’s uniform. Pilots the boat through the choppy water.
Rush looks out into the horizon.
The boat ZIPS across the waves, THUMPING on each crest.
She pulls the boat to a stop. Looks back the coastline.
JETT
This is far enough, c’mon.
She goes to the back of the boat. Rush follows.
We see Trimmer’s body, rolled up in a tarp. Tied to the anchor.
Jett grabs one end of the body. Rush, the other.
JETT (CONT’D)
On the count of three --
They slowly swing it back and forth --
JETT (CONT’D)
One -- two --
(beat)
THREE.
And THROW it over the side. SPLASH.
JETT (CONT’D)
Goodbye, asshole.
Rush pulls out a small glassine bag filled with white powder.
He scoops out a hit with a long fingernail. INHALES it.
Sniffs. Looks out into the horizon. Pensive.
RUSH
Sometimes I wish things could go back to the way they were.
(looks at Jett)
Ever feel that way?
JETT
Are you kidding? Trapped in that fucked-up small town?
Dealing drugs. Always looking over our shoulder.
Getting the fuck out of Kansas was the best thing we ever did.
(weird laugh)
Just look at us now.
RUSH
We were good together for awhile -- you know?
We had a lot of fun.
JETT
Oh, yeah. Three-day binges. Knocking off convenience stores.
Eating out of dumpsters. Misty water-colored memories.
(beat)
I know what I want now, Rush. You should figure that out, too.
RUSH
I told you, I’m bi.
JETT
So that’s why you sexually assaulted a customer.
RUSH
Shut up. I told you, he came on to ME.
And he was more than a customer, we were friends.
JETT
Then why did he try to KILL you?
RUSH
So I got carried away. I was high.
How was I supposed to know he had a gun?
(beat)
If you weren’t there to --
JETT
That was a long time ago.
I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.
(beat)
Can I get a hit of that?
RUSH
(hands her the bag)
Sure.
JETT
Can I borrow your keys?
Rush hands her his keys. Jett dips one in the bag,
HONKS up a big, fat hit. SKRRRRONK.
Rubs her nose. Puts the bag in her pocket.
Pulls out her GUN.
RUSH
What are you doing?
JETT
I’m sorry, Rush. But it’s gotta be this way.
(laughs)
Did you really think I was gonna share our fucking MONEY with you?
You didn’t do anything to HELP. NOTHING.
You’re a fucking LEECH, a LOSER --
RUSH
Don’t SAY THAT.
JETT
A STALKER, and a fucking DRUG ADDICT.
RUSH
NO!
Rush LEAPS at her. Jett WHACKS him on the head with her gun.
CRACK. Rush FLIES back against the railing.
JETT
It’s the end of the line, sucker.
Time to sleep with the fishes.
Rush GRABS Jett. Tries to get her gun.
They STRUGGLE. He CHOKES her in a bear hug.
Jett DROPS it. Rush KICKS it away.
RUSH
Fucking DYKE!
Jett LOSES IT. With insane, animal, meth-fueled strength,
she FLINGS his arms away. SPINS him around.
GRABS him, FLIPS him up, and TWIRLS him over her head like a toy.
JETT
HA-HA-HA-HA! How do you like THIS?
RUSH
NOOOOOO --
And THROWS him over the side. SPLASH.
Jett shakes her head. Rushing on the drugs.
Eyes darting madly. She walks over.
Picks up the gun. Goes to the wheel.
JETT
Sorry, officer. Didn’t know my own strength.
(laughs)
All ashore who’s going ashore.
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