Filthy, Stinking Rich

Back to the grind, kids. Do you find yourself feelin' a little sluggish? Hard to get motivated? Then why not pop back down to the coolest crime joint in town and get your hardboiled/pulp/noir fix ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from A DISH BEST KILLED, where the plot more than thickens, it congeals.

Where D-movie starlet Haven Crayce hatches her murderous plan with her illicit lesbian lover/personal trainer Jett Targo ...

Who accepts the challenge.

INT. HOUSEBOAT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Jett goes to the bar. Looks at the framed pictures of Dart

with various Hollywood stars of old.

DART AND CARY GRANT

playing golf. Cary and GRACE KELLY watch him put.

WITH JANE GREER

directing her and Robert Mitchum.

She’s behind the wheel of a big Cadillac.

He’s got a gun. They’re all laughing.

DART AND FRANK SINATRA

at a swanky nightclub in Vegas with Dean, Sammy, Joey and Peter.

Watching him blow out birthday candles on a big cake.

IN DART’S BEDROOM

he lies in bed, eyes closed.

Haven’s arm is under the covers,

slowly going up and down.

Her face a dark storm cloud.

'Hand job,' indeed.

IN THE MAIN CABIN

Jett goes to a cabinet. Opens a door, revealing --

An OSCAR. 'Best Director.'

Coated with a thin layer of dust.

She gingerly picks it up. Blows on it. Raises it up.

Does an arm curl. Stops. Looks at her reflection in the glass.

JETT (CONT’D)

(softly)

I’d like to thank the Academy --

HAVEN (O.C.)

Thank god you’re still here.

Jett quickly puts the Oscar back, embarrassed.

JETT

Sorry, I --

HAVEN

You know how many times I’ve wanted to

smash him over the head with that goddamn Oscar?

JETT

(scared)

You shouldn’t -- say things like that.

HAVEN

You shouldn’t do a lot of things, Jett.

But it’s all I can think about.

I have to get out of here. I’m going insane.

(goes to Jett, grabs her)

He’s rich, Jett. Filthy, stinking rich.

Think about what you and I could do with all that money.

Go away somewhere. Start a new life.

Be together. Be happy.

(tears in her eyes)

I haven’t been happy in a long time, Jett.

And then I met you.

And then everything started to fall into place.

I could see daylight after so much darkness.

(a sob)

So much darkness --

Haven buries her face in Jett’s chest. Softly sobs.

Jett comforts her. Looks around the room. Clearly confused.

JETT

So -- how much is he worth?

HAVEN

(pulls away, excited)

Then you’ll do it?

JETT

How much?

HAVEN

A few million. He’s got about --

eight hundred thousand in the bank.

JETT

Eight hundred thousand?

HAVEN

So you’ll do it?

JETT

I need to -- think about it.

But Haven won’t take no for an answer.

She slides off her top.

Presses her chest against Jett’s.

Sucks on her ear.

HAVEN

Please, Jett. I need you.

Don’t you want to be with me?

JETT

(swimming)

Y-yes -- I do --

HAVEN

(kisses her neck)

Aren’t you tired of training fat, rich, yuppie assholes?

JETT

GOD, yes.

Haven’s hand slides down to Jett’s zipper. Slowly rubs it.

HAVEN

And do you want me to keep JERKING OFF the sonofabitch?

EVERY DAY?

JETT

(delirious)

Of course not!

HAVEN

Then will you do it? For me?

(beat)

For us?

JETT

(closes her yes)

I’ll do it.

(beat)

I’ll do it.

Haven SQUEEZES Jett, embraces her.

HAVEN

Ohmigod, YES. Thank you, baby. Thank you.

JETT

But it has to be perfect.

We have to plan this carefully.

Everything is at stake.

One little mistake --

HAVEN

We’ll be careful.

JETT

(realizes, looks at watch)

Oh, shit -- I’ve got another client.

I’m going to be LATE.

HAVEN

(kisses Jett)

Then go, baby. I’ll see you -- tomorrow?

JETT

(smiles)

Tomorrow.

(goes to the door)

We’re -- really doing this.

HAVEN

(eyes flashing)

Together.

Jett smiles. Turns.

JETT

Together.

And she’s gone.