Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Now That's What I Call Dwarf Tossing

Happy Hump Day, crime fucks. Ready to get yer ya-yas out? Then put your feet up, pop open a cold one, and get ready for the hardboiled/noir/pulp ride of your life ... or death ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's rip-roaring episode from A DISH BEST KILLED. It's a big shock reveal when D-movie starlet Haven Crayce's adulterous lesbian lover Jett Targo finds out that her old friend from Kansas Rush Madder knows all about their murderous scheme ... and now wants in.

A little blackmail, anyone?


INT. JETT’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Jett quietly closes the door. Tip-toes into her apartment.
The TV is on. Loud. Machine guns. EXPLOSIONS.

JETT
Rush.

Rush sits on the couch. Turns, looks.

RUSH
Hey, what’s up.

Jett goes to the table.
Grabs the remote.
PUNCHES mute.

JETT
I thought you’d sleep -- longer.

RUSH
I can’t crash more than a couple hours.

He leans over, HONKS up a big, fat line.

RUSH (CONT’D)
(offers straw, evil grin)
Wanna bump?

JETT
No, I told you I --

RUSH
That’s an awesome houseboat.
It’s so fucking BIG.

JETT
Houseboat?

RUSH
Yeah, the one your -- friend lives in.
(beat)
Or should I say girlfriend?

JETT
How did you, what did you --

RUSH
I saw her address on the fridge.
Got curious when I saw it was a boat.
Walked over.
(another line)
Man, that was some fight, huh?
Who knew a fucking MIDGET could be so strong?

JETT
Rush --

RUSH
Now THAT’S what I call dwarf tossing.

He grabs his beer off the table.
Takes a slug. Big grin.

JETT
Now wait a minute --

RUSH
No, YOU wait a minute.
(enjoying his power)
What did you do with the body?

Pause.

JETT
What do you want?
You wanna -- stay here awhile?

RUSH
Hell, no. I figure with my cut I can get my own pad.

JETT
Your CUT?

RUSH
You killed her husband for the insurance money, right?
Old fuck’s gotta be loaded.
I saw on the news he was some
famous old-time director or some shit.

JETT
And if I give you a -- cut,
you’ll go away, leave me alone.

RUSH
Yeah.
(stands)
Can I have my keys?

JETT
Where are you going?

RUSH
I gotta go home, sort out some business,
get some supplies, some clothes.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back right away.
Wanna be here for the big payoff.

Jett TOSSES Rush’s keys.
He CATCHES them.

JETT
How much -- do you want?

RUSH
I’m thinking -- half.

JETT
HALF?

RUSH
You really scared me.
I haven’t see you go off like that
since the thing in Kansas.
(beat)
This time you can bury it yourself.

Rush starts for the door.

JETT
The body’s in the trunk of your car.
So I suggest you drive carefully.

RUSH
(stops, spins around)
What the fuck?

JETT
Hey -- if you’re in this,
you gotta earn your share.

No comments:

Post a Comment