To Filibuster With Love

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

For those of you who read my Facebook page, you know that my horror/comedy THE INVISIBLE GIRL was just optioned -- and in all the excitement, I mentioned that I'd start serializing it here today. But after thinking about it, I changed my mind. I don't think the producer would appreciate me doing that, so instead, I'm going to post a story that's never been on the blog. FULL BODY was commissioned by a pair of Australian producers who had left Arclight Films to start their own shingle, and their first project was to be FULL BODY, the story of four women from around the world who work as massueses at Washington DC's most exclusive 'spa,' which serves DC's elite. I added a crime element -- the joint is run by the Croatian mob -- and voila, a cool new TV series was born. It was pitched as SEX AND THE CITY meets THE SOPRANOS, and got some attention (including the TV arm of Tarantino's company). Unfortunately, another network in Australia stole the main idea about the four massage girls, and the project died.

But at least I got a nifty writing sample out of it, which I'm quite proud of. Hope you Enjoy.

In Chapter 1 of FULL BODY, we meet model Summer Donovan, who's getting ready for her big job interview at The International, DC's most exclusive 'massage spa.' Meanwhile, Australian masseuse Lindsay Lett is servicing The Speaker Of The House, while trying to fend off his rather opulent advances.


INT. BATHROOM - MORNING
The silky, supple breathy-femme
trip-hop of Hooverphonic’s
CLUB MONTEPULCIANO over --

Clouds of steam.
Streaked mirror.
Fluffy white towels.

A FEMALE FIGURE
showers behind rippled glass.
Singing.

You’d sing too,
if you had a bod like that.

FEMALE FIGURE
'Fiona said something nice to me,
green velvet jacket sets you free --
Club Montepulciano is what you need --
(beat)
Blue Hawaii, Picadilly whore --
a cocktail is what I’m hoping for' --

IN THE SHOWER
she shaves her legs.
Razor glides up a curvy calf.

Reaches the corner,
back of the knee.
NICKS the skin.

FEMALE
Ow!

She turns.
We see the face of an angel.

Shower cap, a halo.
No make up.

Peachy skin glistening.
Meet SUMMER DONOVAN (24).

It was worth the wait.

THE CUT
on her leg bleeds.
A red rivulet trickles down.

SUMMER
Shit.

MOMENTS LATER
wrapped in a towel.
Sleek black hair down her back.

Presses a corner of tissue
on the wound.

It soaks up the blood.
Becomes a large red dot.

She WHIPS it off.
Places a new piece.

SUMMER
Work.
Come on --

INT. UPSCALE SPA - AT THE SAME TIME
The blissed-out, spooky,
spy-theme beats of Thunderball’s
TO SIR WITH DUB over --

A DIRTY BLONDE (25)
and a GREY-HAIRED GENT sit
in a large, lux Jacuzzi.

Water rushing.
Soothing sore muscles.

And other things.

Meet LINDSEY LETTE, (25).
Taught, toned, freckled Aussie spitfire.

5’2,” lithe, cat-like.
What some call a ‘spinner.’

But this time,
she’s doing the spinning.

LINDSEY
What do you say
we get you on the table,
Mr. big, bad Speaker of the House?

GREY-HAIRED GENT
Capital idea.
But please, call me Dookie.

LINDSEY
'Dookie?'

GREY-HAIRED GENT
Nickname.
From my prep school days.

LINDSEY
Good thing I wore
my plaid skirt today --

INT. SUMMER’S PLACE - BEDROOM
Summer sits at her vanity.
Lethal in a skintight suit.

Toned shiny legs
in shiny black pumps.

Fixing her face.
Not that it needs any fixing.

DING.

IN THE KITCHEN
Summer goes to the toaster.
Two slices of black.

Burned.

SUMMER
It’s an omen.

She opens the fridge.
Takes out a yogurt.

Spoons a mouthful.
Holds up another.

Lets it slide back
into the cup.

SUMMER
Yuck.

CAMERA PUSHES IN on the piece
of tissue behind her knee.

INT. UPSCALE SPA - BLUE MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
TO SIR WITH DUB continues over --

VERY fancy. Some kinda
opulent vision outta Versailles.

Love Shack, a’la Verscace.
Hot and cold running pleasure.

Dookie lies on his back.
A small blue towel
covers his private area.

Lindsey works on his thigh.
Smoothing oil.

DOOKIE
I have this little getaway
in the Cayman Islands --

LINDSEY
You know we’re not allowed
to date the guests -- Dookie.

DOOKIE
Guest?
I’m a payin’ customer --
and the customer is always right.

LINDSEY
Except when he’s wrong.

DOOKIE
Now listen here, lil’ lady,
stop actin’ like a lobbyist,
I’m prepared to give --

CLOSE ON LINDSEY’S FACE

LINDSEY
Dismissed.
Motion overruled.
And there is no debate
at The International, Congressman.

She holds up the red towel.

LINDSEY
Especially when it’s time
for your filibuster.
(notices)
Nice cock ring.
Tiffany’s?