Friday, October 30, 2015

Leave The Driving To Us


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 40 of THE DISH, in order to being spotted by the cops, adulterous lesbian fugitives Haven and Jett pull into a trailer park and trade their vintage Caddy with a redneck's crusty old pickup truck ...


EXT. TRAILER PARK - NIGHT
The sun has almost set.
The car pulls into a trailer park.

An old, wooden sign reads
SEAL BEACH ESTATES.

INT. HAVEN’S CADILLAC - MOVING
The car inches by
a row of mobile homes.

JETT
Pull up to the end and park.

Haven does.
Stops the car.

HAVEN
So what now?

JETT
Well, I’m thinking that
someone who lives here,
no matter what they drive,
they’re not gonna mind
trading it for a vintage Caddy,
keys in the ignition,
all wrapped up
in a nice, big bow.

HAVEN
Ooh.
You are GOOD.

EXT. TRAILER PARK - MOMENTS LATER
Jett sits behind the wheel
of an old Ford pickup truck,
playing with the wires
under the steering wheel column.

They SPARK.
The engine ROARS to life.

JETT
Like riding a bicycle.

The barrel of a
SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN
is placed against Jett’s temple.

A GIANT REDNECK
leans into the window.
Sneers.

GIANT REDNECK
What the fuck do you
think YOU’RE DOING?
Get the fuck outta MY TRUCK.

JETT
Easy now.

Jett opens the door.
Slides out.
Starts to raise her hands --

GIANT REDNECK
What I don’t get is why
you’d wanna steal
this piece-a crap.

And WHIPS OUT her REVOLVER.
JAMS it in his crotch.

JETT
We’re swapping rides, big fella.
Gotta problem with that?
(CLICK)
See that Cadillac over there?

The redneck looks at the Caddy.

GIANT REDNECK
You wanna trade my
truck for the CADDY?
Are you fuckin’ CRAZY?

JETT
Something like that.
(nods)
Go ahead, check ‘er out.
Keys are in the ignition.

Redneck breaks into a big
‘ol rotten-toothed grin.

GIANT REDNECK
Take your piece outta my pants,
and you got yourself a deal --

Thursday, October 29, 2015

The Fugitive Kind



Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 39 of THE DISH, Haven and Jett hear on the car radio that a warrant has been issued for their arrest for the murder of Haven's husband Dart, so they high-tail it down the coast and look for a place to hole up ...


INT. HAVEN’S CADILLAC - MOVING - DUSK
Coltrane’s I’M OLD FASHIONED
bops on the car stereo.

Haven drives.
Jett looks out the window,
lost in thought.

JETT
(reading a sign)
We’ll be in Long Beach soon.

The song ends.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
That was John Coltrane,
and I’m Old Fashioned.
Guess I’m kinda old fashioned, too --
(beat)
I was just handed a special bulletin
from our news department.
Police have issued arrest warrants
for Haven Crayce and Jett Targo
in connection with
three murders in Marina Del Rey.
Both women are in their mid-twenties,
and were last seen in a
red 1968 Cadillac convertible.
If you see these women,
please contact your local
police precinct immediately.
(beat)
Well, now, if I was a
fugitive from the law,
I can’t think of a better ride
than a classic Caddy.
This next one’s dedicated to you.
A little Miles. SO WHAT.

Miles Davis’ trumpet mourns softly.

JETT
Pull off the road at the next exit.

HAVEN
Why?

JETT
Because we gotta get a NEW CAR.

HAVEN
We’re gonna buy a new car?

JETT
Hell, no -- we’re gonna STEAL ONE.

A SIGN READS
Seal Beach. 15 miles.

JETT (O.C.)
Turn here. This is perfect.

EXT. MAIN STREET - SUNSET
They drive toward the beach,
a gorgeous sunset ahead of them
in the sky above the ocean.

JETT
I haven’t been here in years.

HAVEN
You’ve been here before?

JETT
Yeah, a lifetime ago.
(beat)
Turn right here.
I got an idea --

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Silence Of The Clams


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 38 of THE DISH, homicide detective Cal Seely searches Haven's houseboat looking for clues. Meanwhile, Jett and Haven make their escape in a giant, vintage Cadillac ...


EXT. THE SAFE HAVEN - REAR DECK - DUSK
Cal stands at the rear door.
KNOCK-KNOCKS loudly.

CAL
Mrs. Crayce. It’s Detective Seely.
(KNOCKS again)
Haven Crayce, Detective Seely.
I have a search warrant.

He peers in the window. Sighs.
Pulls a pick out of his pockets.
Works it. The knob CLICKS.

INT. THE SAVE HAVEN - CONTINUOUS
Cal walks around, looking.
Touching surfaces. Inspecting.

CAL
(to himself)
Nola Bliss could have walked
in on them, surprised them.

Cal walks over to the bar.
Picks up a glass. Squints at it.

CAL
Real crystal.

He walks over to the case
with the Oscar in it.
Sees a cracked glass panel.

CAL
She walked in on them --
(leans down)
While they were --
(sees something)
BLOOD.

Cal straightens up.
Massages the small of his back.

CAL
It’s right out of one of his movies.
They were in the process
of killing Dart Crayce --
they had to shut her up.
(beat)
So who the fuck is Rush Madder?

His cell phone RINGS.
He fishes it out. Listens.

CAL
Seely.
(listens)
One of Targo’s clients?
(listens)
In the meat freezer?
(listens)
Yeah, someone would have to be
pretty fucking strong to do THAT.

EXT. JETT’S APARTMENT BUILDING - DRIVEWAY - DUSK
Some sleazy 60’s go-go classic
on the car stereo.

Haven sits behind the wheel.
Jett tosses a suitcase in the back seat.
JUMPS IN. Haven beams. Excited.

HAVEN
Hey, baby.

JETT
Hey, yourself.

HAVEN
Let’s blow this popsicle stick.

JETT
(laughs)
Popsicle stand. You are too cute.

Haven pulls out of the driveway.
GUNS the engine.

HAVEN
I’m a hell of a lot
more than CUTE, doll.
And don’t you forget it.
(cocks an eyebrow)
You ready to go all the way?
Do whatever it takes?

JETT
It’s just you and me baby,
together forever, right down the line.
(beat)
Whatever it takes.

Haven puts her hand on Jett’s.

HAVEN
I’ve been going nuts without you.

Slides it up toward
the hem of her miniskirt.

Caressing her milky white thigh.
Trembling with tactile pleasure.

HAVEN
I can’t stop thinking about
what it’s gonna be like
when we’re finally alone together.

Jett reaches up, up, up --

HAVEN
I’ve missed your touch --

Jett finds the prize.
Magic fingers do their work.

HAVEN
OMIGOD --

And she SCREAMS with pleasure.
JERKS the steering wheel.

The car FISHTAILS on the pavement.
Jett GRABS the wheel.
Keeps working her special gift.

HAVEN
I’m gonna --
(beat)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And, as she reaches an
earth-shattering crescendo,
CAMERA pulls back,
swings out the rear window,
where we see --

A CAR
following them.
A beat-up, old Dodge Dart Swinger.

BEHIND THE WHEEL
is RUSH. Grim. Determined.

RUSH
Think you can kill me
that easily, BITCH?

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Hit And Run Holiday


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 37 of THE DISH, after Haven cleans out her dead husband's bank account, she picks up Jett so they can make their getaway ...


INT./EXT. VINTAGE CADILLAC CONVERTIBLE - DUSK
A ‘68 model in candy apple red
with a black leather interior.

The kind I’ll be able to afford
when I sell this screenplay.

Haven drives up Via Marina
with the top down in shades
and a big scarf,
the wind WHIPPING her hair.
She talks on her cell.

HAVEN
Calm down, calm down.
They don’t have anything.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. JETT’S APARTMENT BUILDING - ROOF DECK - CONTINUOUS
Jett paces, sips from a bottle of beer.
Talks on her cell.

JETT
But they towed his CAR.
They found -- her.

HAVEN
But he’s -- gone.

JETT
I know, I know, it’s just --
he knows something.
I can feel it.
(beat)
We gotta get the
fuck out of Dodge.
What happened at the
reading of the will?

HAVEN
It’s all mine, baby.
Lock, stock and two smokin’ million.

JETT
And the cash?

HAVEN
I just left the bank.
(smiles)
Got eight-hundred thousand
under the hood.
That’s what I call 'horsepower.'

JETT
You took out ALL of it?
Didn’t we agree it would be
a good idea to leave --

HAVEN
Change of plan, baby.
I closed the account.
Told them I was leaving the country.
Needed to start over, a new life.

JETT
Leaving the country?

HAVEN
We’re going to Mexico.
Find a place on the beach
where it’s warm all the time
and it’s running hot
and cold Margaritas.

JETT
(looks)
I see your car.
I’ll be right down.

She pulls out a snifter.
HONKS up a bump. Grimaces.

JETT
(to herself)
Guess it’s time for a
hit and run holiday.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Death In Venice


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 36 of THE DISH, adulterous killer Jett Targo gets grilled by homicide detective Cal Seely about the death of little person Nola Bliss ...


INT. JETT’S APARTMENT - DAY
Cal Seely stands in the doorway.
Jett holds open the door.

CAL
Jett Targo?

JETT
Uh-huh.

CAL
Cal Seely, Sheriff’s office, homicide.
I’d like to come in and
ask you a few questions.
(beat)
If you don’t mind.

JETT
No, no -- not at all.
Come in.

He lumbers into the
large studio apartment.

CAL
Thanks.
(looks around)
Nice and airy.
Must cost a fortune,
being right on the canal.

JETT
(bad fake laugh)
You’re not kidding.
(beat)
Can I get you anything -- some water?

CAL
No, thanks.
I’m fine.

Jett sits on the couch.
Smiles hopefully.

JETT
Have a seat.

CAL
No can do.
Back is in spasm.
If I sit, I might not
be able to get up again.
(strange laugh)
And I’m sure you don’t want
a dick stuck in your house.

JETT
Uh, no --

CAL
Did you know a woman
by the name of -- Nola Bliss?

JETT
She’s, uh -- the neighbor
of one of my clients, Haven Crayce.

CAL
Was the neighbor.

JETT
Was?
You mean something --
happened to her?

CAL
Nothing happened to her.
She was murdered.
We found her body in the
trunk of a car that was towed --
(pulls out a notebook)
Belonging to a man by
the name of Rush Madder,
from Long Beach.
(beat)
You know him?

JETT
No, sorry.
Never heard of him.

CAL
Funny.
The car was parked right
down the street from here.

JETT
Huh.
(beat)
Small world.

CAL
Where were you on
the night of the 25th?

JETT
Uh -- that was Tuesday, right?
(off his nod)
I was home, watching a movie.

CAL
What movie?

JETT
A Dish Best Killed.

CAL
How ironic.

JETT
Ironic?

Pause.

CAL
Thanks for your time.
(gives her his card)
Here’s my number.
Give me a call if you
remember anything.
(beat)
And please don’t leave town.
I might have some more --
questions for you.

PUSH IN ON Jett. Nodding.
Faking nonchalance. Badly.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Inherit The Wind


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 35 of THE DISH, murderous B-movie starlet Haven Crayce attends the reading of her husband Dart's will ... and gets accosted by his vicious ex-wife, enraged that Haven is the sole beneficiary ...


EXT. OCEAN FRONT DRIVE - MORNING
A POLICE IMPOUND VEHICLE
is parked behind Rush’s VW bug,
clamped to its towing winch.

The DRIVER starts the truck,
and slowly pulls away, to reveal --

On the windshield,
a mass of PARKING TICKETS.

INT. LAW FIRM - CONFERENCE ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Haven sits alone at the end of a
long, long conference table.

At the other end are a trio of
STONE-FACED ATTORNEYS.

Also at the table are
Dart’s FIRST WIFE (80’s),
a haggard-looking vulture of a woman.
Beady eyes flickering.

Needless to say,
the air is thick with anticipation.

Haven picks up a cut-glass
goblet of water. Takes a tiny sip.

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
(reading from the will)
-- and I bequeath my entire estate
to my second wife, Haven.

Haven blinks rapidly.
The slightest trace of a smile cracks.

Nasty First Wife BANGS
the table with her fist.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
That’s NOT FAIR.
I was with him for FIFTY YEARS.
I was there when we was STARVING.

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
Quiet, please.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
(stands, SLAPS the table)
NO! I will NOT be QUIET!
There must be some MISTAKE!
(points)
There’s no way in HELL
he left all his money to that WHORE!

Haven stares at her.
Blank-faced.

OILY ATTORNEY
Please, Ma’am.
I don’t want have to call security.

Nasty PULLS OUT her chair.
RACES over to Haven.

Oily picks up the phone.
Speaks softly into it.
Nods. Hangs up.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
(gets in Haven’s face)
HARLOT. SLUT.
You just married him for his MONEY.

HAVEN
Get the fuck out of my face,
you old bag.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
(spits on Haven’s face)
Fucking CUNT.

Haven JUMPS UP.
SMACKS Nasty on the face, HARD.

A pair of BEEFY SECURITY GUARDS
race in. GRAB her.

NASTY FIRST WIFE
Let GO OF ME.
You CAN’T DO THIS.

HUGE SECURITY GUARD
I’m afraid you’re going
to have to come with us.

The guards drag her out,
KICKING and SCREAMING.

Haven takes out a handkerchief.
wipes her face.

HAVEN
I’m sorry for that --
outburst a moment ago.
I, I -- lost my temper.

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
I think you showed
remarkable restraint.

OILY ATTORNEY
Indeed. I thought you were
going to deck the bitch.

PUSH IN ON Haven.
The barest hint of a smile.

HAVEN
I can’t imagine what
he ever saw in her --

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Flight Plan


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 34 of THE DISH, homicide detective Cal Seely and Dr. Bing ring the doorbell at Haven's houseboat with a view to talking to her about her husband's death. Meanwhile, Haven hides inside, wishing they'd go away ...


EXT. MARINA SLIP - HOUSEBOAT - NIGHT
All lights out on the Safe Haven.
The boat looks ominous. Spooky.
Slowly bobbing in the water.

Cal Seely and Dr. Bing stand on the dock.
Looking at it.

CAL
Thanks for coming on such short notice.

DR. BING
Sure, sure -- but she’s not home.

Cal squints at the boat.
Chews on his unlit cigar.

CAL
She could be asleep.

DR. BING
Then why bother her now?

CAL
Element of surprise.

DR. BING
So -- you suspect her?

CAL
Insulin pump didn’t malfunction.
(puffs)
Battery was dead.

DR. BING
But she said she changed --

CAL
Exactly.

INT. THE SAFE HAVEN - MASTER BEDROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Haven kneels in front of the window.
Slowly pulls back the curtain a tiny bit.
Peers out.

HAVEN
(sees them outside)
Shit. Fuck. Goddammit.

She goes to the mini bar.
Pours a stiff one.

Grabs a prescription bottle.
Shakes out a couple pills.

Gulps them down.
Chases it with a slug of her drink.

She pulls out her cell phone.
PUNCHES a number. Listens.

HAVEN
Hey, it’s me.
(listens)
It’s done?

The doorbell RINGS.

HAVEN
Shit --
(listens)
It’s fucking Dr. Bing
and that fat fucking cop --
(listens)
All the lights are off --
(listens)
No, it’s too dangerous.
Who knows how long
they’ll be out there.
Just sit tight.
I’ll call you tomorrow
after I go to the bank.

The doorbell RINGS again.

HAVEN
I’ll gonna have a bubble bath,
listen to my Ipod.
If they come in, I’ll say
I couldn’t hear the doorbell
with the music on.
(listens)
Yeah. We’re almost there.
(listens)
Me too, baby.
Straight down the line.

PUSH IN on Haven.
Eyes burning with fire.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Misty Water-Colored Memories


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of THE DISH, Jett and Rush take sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz's dead body out on his boat to dispose of his remains, but when Rush pushes Jett's buttons, things turn deadly ...


EXT. OCEAN - SHERIFF’S BOAT - NIGHT
Jett wears Trimmer’s uniform.
Pilots the boat through the choppy water.

Rush looks out into the horizon.
The boat ZIPS across the waves,
THUMPING on each crest.

She pulls the boat to a stop.
Looks back the coastline.

JETT
This is far enough, c’mon.

She goes to the back of the boat.
Rush follows.

We see Trimmer’s body,
rolled up in a tarp.
Tied to the anchor.

Jett grabs one end of the body.
Rush, the other.

JETT
On the count of three --

They slowly swing it back and forth --

JETT
One -- two --
(beat)
THREE.

And THROW it over the side. SPLASH.

JETT
Goodbye, asshole.

Rush pulls out a small glassine bag
filled with white powder.

He scoops out a hit
with a long fingernail.
INHALES it. Sniffs.

Looks out into the horizon.
Pensive.

RUSH
Sometimes I wish things could
go back to the way they were.
(looks at Jett)
Ever feel that way?

JETT
Are you kidding?
Trapped in that fucked-up
small town? Dealing drugs.
Always looking over our shoulder.
Getting the fuck out of Kansas
was the best thing we ever did.
(weird laugh)
Just look at us now.

RUSH
We were good together for awhile --
you know? We had a lot of fun.

JETT
Oh, yeah. Three-day binges.
Knocking off convenience stores.
Eating out of dumpsters.
Misty water-colored memories.
(beat)
I know what I want now, Rush.
You should figure that out, too.

RUSH
I told you, I’m bi.

JETT
So that’s why you sexually assaulted
a customer.

RUSH
Shut up.
I told you, he came on to ME.
And he was more than a customer,
we were friends.

JETT
Then why did he try to KILL you?

RUSH
So I got carried away. I was high.
How was I supposed to know he had a gun?
(beat)
If you weren’t there to --

JETT
That was a long time ago.
I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.
(beat)
Can I get a hit of that?

RUSH
(hands her the bag)
Sure.

JETT
Can I borrow your keys?

Rush hands her his keys.
Jett dips one in the bag,
HONKS up a big, fat hit.
SKRRRRONK. Rubs her nose.

Puts the bag in her pocket.
Pulls out her GUN.

RUSH
What are you doing?

JETT
I’m sorry, Rush.
But it’s gotta be this way.
(laughs)
Did you really think I was gonna
share our fucking MONEY with you?
You didn’t do anything to HELP. NOTHING.
You’re a fucking LEECH, a LOSER --

RUSH
Don’t SAY THAT.

JETT
A STALKER, and a fucking DRUG ADDICT.

RUSH
NO!

Rush LEAPS at her.
Jett WHACKS him on the head
with her gun. CRACK.
Rush FLIES back against the railing.

JETT
It’s the end of the line, sucker.
Time to sleep with the fishes.

Rush GRABS Jett.
Tries to get her gun.

They STRUGGLE.
He CHOKES her in a bear hug.

Jett DROPS it.
Rush KICKS it away.

RUSH
Fucking DYKE!

Jett LOSES IT.
With insane, animal,
meth-fueled strength,
she FLINGS his arms away.

SPINS him around.
GRABS him, FLIPS him up, and
TWIRLS him over her head like a toy.

JETT
HA-HA-HA-HA!
How do you like THIS?

RUSH
NOOOOOO --

And THROWS him over the side. SPLASH.

Jett shakes her head.
Rushing on the drugs.

Eyes darting madly.
She walks over.

Picks up the gun.
Goes to the wheel.

JETT
Sorry, officer.
Didn’t know my own strength.
(laughs)
All ashore who’s going ashore --

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Burial At Sea


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of THE DISH, after Jett shoots and kills Trimmer, Haven is shocked to meet Rush, who Jett never told her about, but then Jett explains that Rush is going to help her get rid of Trimmer's body ... in the ocean.


INT. HOUSEBOAT - MAIN GALLEY - NIGHT
Jett fires. BANG. BANG. BANG.

A trio of rose petals bloom
on Trimmer’s wife beater.
He looks down, in shock.

TRIMMER
You fucking SHOT me.

He staggers.
GRABS onto the side table.

JETT
Well, whaddaya know.

Haven LEAPS out of bed.
Goes to Jett.
Gets behind her.

HAVEN
DIE, you fucking creep! DIE.

Trimmer slumps to the floor.
Pulls out his cell phone.

TRIMMER
Gotta -- call -- this in --

Jett FIRES again.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

Trimmer’s head hits
the wall with a THUD.

Lights out.
Blood pools in the carpet.

JETT
You’ve been suspended
from duty, officer.

She looks at Haven.
Bursts into WILD LAUGHTER.

HAVEN
You did it!

JETT
And it felt so GOOD.

Rush comes in.
Out of breath.

RUSH
(to Jett)
I heard the shots.
Is he -- you know.

HAVEN
Who are the fuck are YOU?
(to Jett)
Do you know this guy?

JETT
(to Rush)
I told you to stay in the car.
(to Haven)
It’s okay, he’s cool.
An old friend of mine
from back home.

RUSH
Hey.
(holds his crotch)
Can I use the head?
I gotta take a wicked piss.

HAVEN
Down the hall,
second door on your left.

Rush ambles away.

HAVEN
Jett?

JETT
It’s a long story.
Rush and I go way back.
He came to visit, and
I can’t get rid of him.
He followed me
the night we -- you know,
so now he wants in.
Wants a cut for keeping quiet.
I didn’t tell you because
I didn’t want you to --

HAVEN
You offered him a
CUT OF THE FUCKING MONEY?

JETT
No, of course not.
I just need his help with --
(points at Trimmer’s body)
This thing, and --
(whispers)
Then I’ll -- take care of him.

HAVEN
Goddammit, Jett.
(beat)
What can I do?

JETT
(looks at Trimmer)
Give me his uniform.

HAVEN
His uniform?
Why do you want to --

PUSH IN ON Jett.
Unbuckling her belt.

JETT
Burial at sea.

Monday, October 19, 2015

From Brassiere To Eternity


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of THE DISH, while B-movie starlet Haven Crayce stalls sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz from making love with her, Jett and Rush get ready to break into the houseboat and kill Trimmer ...


EXT. MARINA DOCK - NIGHT
Jett and Rush appear,
both rakish in black.

They approach the Safe Haven.
Look at Trimmer’s Sheriff’s
patrol boat anchored next to it.

Jett is amped.
Eyes flashing.

JETT
That’s his boat.
(beat)
You go stay in the car,
keep a lookout.

RUSH
What do I do if someone comes?

JETT
Call me.
And stop them.

RUSH
Cool.
(pulls out a vial)
Wanna bump?

She nods. Takes it.
Unscrews the cap.

Under it, a tiny spoon.
She shovels out a hit, SNORTS it.
Then, another.

PUSH IN ON Jett.
Ready to go.

JETT
Places, please.

INT. THE SAFE HAVEN - MASTER BEDROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Our star-crossed lovers are in bed.
Trimmer lies next to Haven.

Stroking her hair.
Haven pulls away. Pouts.

HAVEN
I’m not in the mood.

TRIMMER
Not in the MOOD?

HAVEN
I -- have a headache.

TRIMMER
Bullshit.

HAVEN
From all the stress.
The cops, the insurance people,
my lawyer --

Like a cat, Trimmer
moves on top of her.

TRIMMER
But its a great stress-reliever --

HAVEN
Trimmer, no -- I don’t want to --

TRIMMER
(pins her wrists down)
Who the fuck asked YOU?

HAVEN
Trimmer, don’t! Stop it!
You’re hurting me!

JETT (O.C.)
Get the fuck off
of her, asshole --
and put your dick
back in your pants.

JETT
walks into the room.
Pointing her REVOLVER at Trimmer.

JETT
(wild-eyed)
DO IT. NOW.

TRIMMER
(whirls around, sees her)
YOU?

JETT
Deputy.
Funny seeing you here.
Come here often?

Trimmer jumps out of bed.
Stands. Puffs out his chest.

TRIMMER
You can’t shoot me.
I’m a cop.

JETT
You’re confusing me with
someone who gives a shit.

TRIMMER
(walks toward Jett)
Give me the gun.

Jett fires. BANG. BANG. BANG.
A trio of rose petals bloom
on Trimmer’s wife beater.
He looks down, in shock.

TRIMMER
You fucking SHOT me --

Friday, October 16, 2015

Pulp Friction


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 30 of THE DISH, homicide detective Cal Seely starts closing in on Haven and Jett for the murder of Haven's husband Dart. Meanwhile, Jett and Rush prepare to kill sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz ...


INT. VENICE BOARDWALK - SMALL WORLD BOOKS - DAY
A bookworm’s delight.
A cozy, cluttered joint
filled to the rafters.

Young, HIPSTER LOCALS
wander the aisles.

And Cal Seely’s there, too.
He looks up at a section placard.

CRIME FICTION
he squints. Nods.
Starts going down the aisle.

Runs his fingers across the spines,
reading the authors.

He stops on one.
Pulls it out.
Examines the back cover.

His cell phone RINGS.
Cal fishes it out.
Flips it open.

CAL
Seely here.
(listens)
Chief. What’s up?
(listens)
With all due respect sir,
I think he’s full of shit.
(listens)
Of course I think he’s involved.
I think they both are.
Classic love triangle.
You ever see that movie --
(listens)
Yeah.
That’s where I’m going next.
Fishing for DNA.
(beat)
Then I’m gonna check out
the personal trainer.
Something smells fishy.
(listens)
You’re a goddamn laugh-riot.
(listens)
Much.

He CLICKS the phone shut.
Looks at the book,
turns it around,
revealing the title --

THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE.

INT. THE SAFE HAVEN - MASTER BEDROOM - LATER THAT EVENING
We hear a shower running
in the next room.

Haven sits on the bed,
casual in Juicy Couture.
Sipping a cocktail.

She grabs her cell phone.
PUNCHES a number. Listens.

HAVEN
(a whisper)
It’s me.
(listens)
It’s time.
(listens)
Okay.

A toilet FLUSHES.

TRIMMER
walks in the room.

Buckling his belt. Scowling.
She CLICKS the phone shut. Smiles.

TRIMMER
Who was that?

HAVEN
My mother.

TRIMMER
I thought you didn’t get along
with your mother.

HAVEN
I don’t.
She hit me up for money.

TRIMMER
Then why are you smiling?

HAVEN
Cause I said NO.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

You And Me Against The World


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of THE DISH, Haven meets with Jett and begs to have her back, and then convinces her to help her kill sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz ...


INT. FOOD TOWN - DAY
Rows of fresh fruit.
The joint’s all but deserted.

A SHOPPING CART appears.
It’s being pushed by Haven,
wearing huge sunglasses.

Another CART pulls up next to it,
pushed by Jett, also in shades,
and a baseball cap pulled down low.

HAVEN
Thanks for coming.

They start rolling the carts
down the aisle.

JETT
You wanted to talk. So talk.

HAVEN
I’ve missed you, Jett.
I’ve missed you so much.

JETT
You sure have a funny way
of showing it.

HAVEN
What that’s supposed to mean?

Jett stops her cart.

JETT
(hisses)
Trimmer Waltz.
I saw you with him.
I know what’s going on.
What do you think I am,
a fucking patsy?
(to herself)
I don’t even know why I’m here.

HAVEN
Trimmer and I, we --
(beat)
It started off as innocent fun,
but it didn’t mean anything --
and then I lost interest,
and tried to call it off.

JETT
Yeah, right.

HAVEN
It’s true, listen to me.
He said if I stopped seeing him,
he was going to tell Dart about us.
(beat)
And then he came up with his -- plan.
And then I saw you on the beach
training people. I was drawn to you.
(beat)
But what I didn’t expect --
was to -- fall for you.
And by then, it was -- too late.
(beat)
I fucked it all up, Jett. I’m sorry.
(beat)
So sorry.

Pause.

JETT
You expect me to believe that bullshit?

HAVEN
It’s the truth, Jett. I --

Haven lowers her shades.
Eyes full of tears.

HAVEN
I need you, Jett.
I gotta hole in my heart
where you used to be.
If I can’t be with you,
I’d rather die.

JETT
But Trimmer, I saw you --

HAVEN
I told you, it’s OVER.
Trimmer’s an ASSHOLE.
He’s a PIG, he’s so full of himself --

JETT
And you just figured that out?

HAVEN
I’ve been dying without you, Jett.
I want things to be the way they were --
you and me against the world.
Forever and ever.
Willing to do whatever it takes.

Jett’s nose starts running.
She wipes it on the
back of her sleeve.
Stares at Haven.

JETT
I don’t know, I --

Haven looks around anxiously.
She takes Jett’s hand.

Slowly guide it up
her skirt. Shivers.

HAVEN
(whispers)
See how wet you make me?

JETT
I, I --

HAVEN
(pulls her close)
Remember those three days
we had all to ourselves?
It was so good.
The happiest I’ve ever been.
Can’t you see I’m in love with you?
(beat)
Don’t you -- want me anymore?

JETT
(a whisper)
I, I do.
(embraces her)
Of course I do.

They hug for a long moment.
A FEMALE SHOPPER (50’s)
wheels her cart past them.

Stares disapprovingly.
Haven pulls away.

HAVEN
So you know what we have to do.

JETT
What?

HAVEN
We have to make him -- go away.

A strange smile flickers
on Jett’s face. She looks around.

Reaches in her jacket pocket.
Pulls out the REVOLVER.

JETT
You must be a mind-reader.

HAVEN
(sharp whisper)
Holy shit, put that away.

JETT
(pockets it)
So what’s the plan?

HAVEN
We need to act fast.
I’m going to the reading
of Dart’s will tomorrow,
and then I’m gonna take all
the money out of the bank.
So we gotta do it tonight.

JETT
Tonight?

HAVEN
Yeah.
I’m meeting him on
the boat later for dinner.
You know, consoling
the grieving widow.
I’ll call you after
he gets there,
and then --

JETT
(points finger like a gun)
Hasta la vista, Deputy Waltz.

HAVEN
Yeah. And then we can be together.
We can go anywhere,
do anything -- together.

JETT
Do whatever it takes.

PUSH IN ON Haven.
Lowering her shades.
Eyes full of fire.

HAVEN
Straight down the line.


Wednesday, October 14, 2015

If Looks Could Kill


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of THE DISH, Jett and Rush go to a pawn shop and get a gun they plan on using to kill sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz. Meanwhile, B-movie starlet Haven Crayce leaves a message on Jett's voicemail telling her she wants to meet with her ...


EXT. PAWN SHOP - DAY
A shitty cinder block bunker
with bars on the windows on
the wrong end of Lincoln Boulevard.
Se Hablo Espanole.

Jett and Rush stand at the door.
Press the intercom button.
BUZZZZZZZZZ. They go in.

INT. PAWN SHOP - AT THAT MOMENT
Jett and Rush squint in the darkness.
A HEAVYSET LATIN GUY
sits behind the counter.

He puts a wad of cash
in a strong box. CLICKS it shut.

BEHIND THE COUNTER
we see he’s holding a 9MM automatic.

HEAVYSET LATIN GUY
Hola, amigo.
What can I do for you today?

RUSH
You Luna?

LUNA
I’m Luna.

RUSH
You sell -- guns?

LUNA
(smiles)
Who told you that?

RUSH
Uh, guy named Ramirez,
down in Long Beach.
Big guy, like you, rides
with the Los Muertos cycle club.
Customer of mine.

LUNA
What do you sell?

RUSH
(pulls out a vial)
Show me yours,
and I’ll show you mine.

Luna smiles broadly,
displaying rows of gold teeth.

LUNA
Ramirez, that fat fuck.
Why didn’t you say so?

INT. JETT’S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
Jett holds a 38 special
down low below the dashboard.
Stares at it, wide-eyed.

JETT
I like -- how it feels.

Rush points his SERVICE REVOLVER
out the window. Takes aim.

RUSH
Just like back home
shooting pigeons in the barn.

He squeezes the trigger. CLICK.

EXT. THE SAFE HAVEN - FORWARD DECK
Haven paces back and forth.
Talks on her cell phone.

HAVEN
Jett? Where are you? Pick up.
(listens)
Jett, pick up. C’mon --
(listens)
I need to see you.
We need to talk.
(beat)
I need -- your help.
(beat)
Tomorrow morning at 9,
at the Food Town.
I’ll be in the produce aisle.
Waiting for you.
(beat)
We need to talk. Okay?

BEEP.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Afternoon Delight


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of THE DISH, homicide detective Cal Seely interrogates sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz about his main suspect in the death of film director Dart Crayce -- his wife, B-movie starlet Haven Crayce, who Trimmer is secretly in cahoots with ...


EXT. MARINA - SHERIFF’S SUBSTATION - DAY
An old, wooden shack
at the edge of the pier.

The Sheriff’s skiff floats and bobs
in the water nearby.

INT. SHERIFF’S SUBSTATION - DAY
Trimmer sits at his desk.
Filling out a report.

Shitty 70’s ‘soft rock’
plays softly on a cheap boombox.

Afternoon Delight, indeed.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Anybody home?

TRIMMER
Entree, si vous plait.

Cal Seely ambles in.
Perspiring in his overcoat.

CAL
Deputy Waltz?

TRIMMER
You’re lookin’ at him.

CAL
(flashes badge)
Detective Sergeant Cal Seely, Homicide.

TRIMMER
Please to meet you.
Pull up a log.

CAL
(pulls out a cigar)
I like to stand.
Mind if I smoke?

TRIMMER
I’m allergic. Sorry.
(looks)
That’s quite a stogie.
Freud would have a field day
with THAT.

CAL
(not amused)
I’m investigating the death
of Dart Crayce.

TRIMMER
The film director, on the houseboat.
Yes. Tragic.
(shakes his head)
His poor wife.

CAL
Yes. His poor, young wife --

TRIMMER
Oh. Now listen, I’ve met her,
she’s a nice lady.
No way she could have --

CAL
It’s a good motive.
What was he -- eighty years old?

TRIMMER
Eighty five, I think.

CAL
And I’m sure he was
worth a lot of money.
All those classic, old movies --

They look at each other. Thinking.

TRIMMER
If you ask me, I think you
should check out her personal trainer.
I’ve seen them working out --
and I sensed there was
more going on than just --
weight lifting,
if you know what I mean.

CAL
(pulls out notebook)
The trainer.
What’s his name?

TRIMMER
HER name.
Jett something.
Jett -- Targo, that’s it.
She’s a, you know --
(mimes flexing arm muscle)
Real strong.

CAL
Lesbo?
They having an affair?

TRIMMER
God, no.
It’s just that -- I’m out
on my boat every morning,
and I’d see them.
And, I dunno -- it’s a
gut feeling. You know --
(beat)
The way she’d look at Mrs. Crayce.
All hungry-like.

CAL
(narrows his eyes)
A gut feeling.
(off his nod)
Hungry-like.

PUSH IN ON Trimmer.
A rude leer.

TRIMMER
Yeah, you know --
like an animal. Hungry.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Seems Like Old Times


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of THE DISH, after finding out that Haven is two-timing her with sheriff's deputy Trimmer Walt's, Jett makes Rush an offer he can't refuse: help her kill him.


INT. JETT’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Jett STORMS into the room.
SLAMS the door.

Rush lolls on the couch
watching TV drinking a beer.

She walks over.
Sees the mirror with the lines
of speed he’s been chopping up
on the coffee table.

JETT
Okay, here’s the deal.
If you want your cut,
you’re gonna have to work for it.
(beat)
I need your help.

RUSH
Sure, sure.
What can I do?

Jett sits down next to him.
Looks at the drugs.

JETT
You know my -- friend?

RUSH
Haven?

JETT
Yeah. She’s --
(shudders)
She’s fucking the Sheriff’s deputy.
And they’re setting me up.

RUSH
Holy SHIT.

JETT
Mind if do one of those?

RUSH
Fuck, no.
Now we’re talking.
(hands her a straw)
Madam, your carriage awaits.

JETT
(takes it)
Giddyap.

She leans down.
SNORTS a line in her left nostril.

Then another in her right.
She shakes her head. WHOOSH.

RUSH
You’re gonna be fucking flying,
after being clean so long.

JETT
(SNORTS another)
Goddamn right.

RUSH
So what’s the plan?
What can I help with?

JETT
I need you to help me --
get a gun.

Jett reaches over.
Wets a finger in Rush’s water glass.

Touches it to her nose.
SNORTS it.

RUSH
A gun?
What for?

JETT
I’m gonna kill the motherfucker.

RUSH
But he’s a cop.

PUSH IN ON Jett.
Eyes blazing with chemical fire.

JETT
Kinda like old times, huh?

Friday, October 9, 2015

Forgive And Forget


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of THE DISH, Jett is crushed when she discovers that Haven has been two-timing her with sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz, and that they are planning on running off together with all the loot ...


INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - GALLEY - MORNING
Haven’s at the bar.
Mixing champagne and OJ in a pitcher.

HAVEN
Silly. It’s never too early for a MIMOSA.
(turns, to someone off-camera)
We have to celebrate.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
The king is dead. Long live the queen.

Haven picks up the drinks, walks over to --

TRIMMER WALTZ
seated on the couch.
Splayed out like he owns the joint.

TRIMMER
(takes a drink, smiles)
Thank you, my love.
(pats the couch)
Come sit next to me, my little firecracker.

Haven sits next to him. Sips her drink.

HAVEN
Who you calling a firecracker?

TRIMMER
I can’t believe it. We’re almost done.
(beat)
When’s the reading of the will?

HAVEN
Tomorrow.

TRIMMER
Eight-hundred thousand smackeroos.
(toasts)
Here’s to that cabin up in Big Bear.

They CLINK. Sip.

HAVEN
I know we talked about Big Bear,
but I was thinking --

TRIMMER
Whoah. That could be dangerous.

HAVEN
Shut up. Listen to me.
(sips)
I think it might be better
if we went to Mexico.
You know, one of those little
fishing towns on the coast,
like in That Killing Feeling.

TRIMMER
But I don’t speak Spanish --

OUTSIDE ON THE DECK
Jett stands near the open window,
shade down, listening.

IN THE GALLEY
Haven gets up.
Goes to the bar, fixes another drink.

HAVEN
I just think it would be -- safer.
The cops couldn’t touch us.

TRIMMER
That’s true.
(finishes his drink)
Tell you what. We’ll think about it.
(beat)
And what about Ms. Targo?
(nasty laugh)
Or should I say MR. Targo --

HAVEN
Nola’s body. I find out where she’s stashed it --
and then you tip off Detective Seely.

TRIMMER
You’re an evil genius, baby.
(beat)
But you know that.

HAVEN
(evil grin)
Takes one to know one.

TRIMMER
I gotta ask you something.
(beat)
Didn’t you like it --
at least a little bit --
when that buff, young specimen
went down on you?

HAVEN
What the fuck?

TRIMMER
Well, they say only a woman knows
what another woman wants --

OUTSIDE ON THE DECK
Jett blinks back tears. Turns.
Quietly walks away. Head down.

IN THE GALLEY
Haven DOWNS her cocktail.
Starts fixing another.

HAVEN
Don’t be ridiculous.

TRIMMER
It’s okay, baby.
I find it -- kind of a turn-on.
(eyes narrow)
If things were different,
I might just wanna -- join in.

HAVEN
(snorts)
As if.

TRIMMER
Excuse me?

She takes a sip. Lights a smoke.
Crosses over to him.

HAVEN
You think she was my first?
(laughs)
That’s what all you guys want. 'To join in.'
(beat)
Fucking creepy.

Trimmer stares. Be careful here.

TRIMMER
Hey, now -- I was just kidding, baby doll.
Just tryin’ to get a rise out of you.
Let’s not fight.

HAVEN
You started it.

He gets up. Puts his arms around her.

TRIMMER
I’m sorry.
(touches her chin)
You forgive me, baby?

PUSH IN ON Haven. Faint smile.
Eyes off somewhere else.

HAVEN
Forgive and forget is for suckers.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Dead Weight


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of THE DISH, Jett weight trains a rich client at the beach, but when he has an accident with a barbell, he calls her a dyke, and things quickly turn deadly ...


EXT. BEACH CONDO - OUTDOOR PATIO - AT THAT MOMENT
Jett is training the Fat,
Sweating Venture Capitalist
we met earlier on the beach.

Fat lies on a bench under a barbell
ringed with weights clamped
in a cradle above him.

FAT, SWEATING VENTURE CAPITALIST
That looks like -- too much weight.

JETT
It’s only an extra ten pounds, Tyledge.
You told me you want to be ripped.

TYLEDGE
Yeah, I do.

JETT
Well, then -- let ‘er rip.
(beat)
Relax. I’m spotting you.
Just go nice and slow.

Fat looks up. Nods.
GRABS the barbell,
slowly lifts it up off the rack.
Straining and wheezing.

Jett’s cell phone VIBRATES
in her pocket.

She fishes it out.
It’s a text message.

TYLEDGE
(pushing, straining)
I, uh -- I can’t -- it’s,
it’s slipping --

But Jett is reading the message.
It’s from Rush. On his way.

JETT
(under her breath)
Shit.

TYLEDGE
HELP, it’s gonna --

The weight is too much for Tyledge,
his grip slips, and the barbell
SLAMS DOWN on his neck.

TYLEDGE
GAAAAAAA!

Jett WHIPS her head around.

JETT
FUCK!

She GRABS the barbell,
TOSSES it aside.

It CRASHES into a glass table,
SHATTERING it into a million pieces.

Tyledge GRABS his throat,
SCREAMS in pain.

TYLEDGE
Fucking bitch!
You trying to KILL me?

JETT
I’m sorry, I was -- on the phone --

TYLEDGE
Get the FUCK OUT OF HERE.
You’re FIRED, you HEAR ME?
(beat)
Fucking DYKE.

JETT
WHAT did you call me?

TYLEDGE
You heard me.
(ominous)
You’re gonna hear from my lawyer.
I’m gonna take you for
every cent you have.
(beat)
So, tell me.
Do you have to strap one on
to satisfy that little whore?

Jett rears back and
SUCKER-PUNCHES him under the chin,
sends him FLYING.

He SLAMS down, CRACKING
his head on the pavement.

JETT
Shit.

She feels his neck for a pulse.
Nothing. He’s DEAD.

JETT
NO.

Jett looks around. Nobody.
Everyone is at work.

She grabs Tyledge by the ankles,
drags him into the house.

IN THE LIVING ROOM
Jett pulls the large body
through the lux living room.

IN THE BASEMENT
She drags him down the stairs,
his body going THUNK, THUNK,
THUNK on each step.

Talk about ‘dead weight.’

They get to the bottom.
Jett looks around, sees --

A LARGE FREEZER
One of those industrial-sized ones
that lies horizontally.

JETT
drags Tyledge to the freezer.

Opens it. Sees a mountain of
steaks, chops and meat.
She starts pulling them out.

DISSOLVE TO:
Jett TOSSES meat packages
into the freezer, covering the body.

All we can see is his head.
She FLIPS one last steak in,
which covers his face.
SLAMS the lid closed.

JETT
That'll teach you to
call me a fucking DYKE --

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The Damned Don't Cry


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of THE DISH, B-movie starlet Haven Crayce gets questioned by homicide detective Cal Seely about her husband Dart's untimely death.


EXT. MARINA SLIP - THE SAFE HAVEN - MORNING
Haven sits at the workout machine,
working her arms.

A FIGURE IN BLACK appears.
Meet CAL SEELY (50’s), short,
squat homicide detective.

Face like an old potato.
Chewing on an unlit cigar.

Rumpled, in a shitty suit
and a fedora.

SEELY
Excuse me.
Are you Mrs. Crayce?

HAVEN
(turns, looks)
Uh-huh. Who are you?

He walks over,
hands her a business card.

SEELY
Detective Cal Seely. Homicide.
(squinting in the sun)
Do you mind if I ask you
a few questions?

HAVEN
(reading the card, heart pounding)
Of course not.
Come inside, it’s cooler in there --

INT. SAFE HAVEN - GALLEY - MOMENTS LATER
Haven sits on the couch
with a glass of ice tea.

Seely takes a sip of his,
slowly walks around the room.

HAVEN
Please, sit.
Make yourself at home.

SEELY
I’m comfortable standing, thank you.
(squints)
That a real Oscar?

HAVEN
Uh-huh.

SEELY
Smaller than I thought it’d be --
(turns, looks at her)
Thanks for seeing me like this,
during your -- time of grief.

HAVEN
Sure.

SEELY
Damn good ice tea.
(beat)
Now you said your husband’s
insulin pump wasn’t on.
How could that be?
Didn’t he need that -- to live?

HAVEN
Yes, he did.
(beat)
The battery must
have been -- defective.
I changed the battery
once a week, on Sunday --

SEELY
Yesterday was Sunday.

HAVEN
Exactly.
I normally change it
in the morning,
when he got up,
but with all the excitement --
he got home from
the hospital yesterday --

SEELY
Why was he in the hospital?

HAVEN
He was -- having some tests.
He had a -- bad fall last week,
and his doctor wanted to make sure
everything was -- you know, okay.

SEELY
And was everything okay?

Haven looks at him.
Eyes cloud up with tears.

HAVEN
Yes. Everything was -- okay.

SEELY
So then when did you
change the battery?

HAVEN
Right before the movie.
We watched a movie every night.
(inhales)
We had some wine, he fell asleep.
After it was over, I went down
to the guest room to meditate --
I listen to music while I’m
meditating on my Ipod.

SEELY
I see.
(beat)
But if you were
listening to music
on headphones, how
did you -- hear him?

PUSH IN ON Haven.
Eyes liquid-bright.

HAVEN
It was a -- quiet song.
(beat)
You know -- meditation music.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

A Piece Of The Action


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of THE DISH, Rush wakes up from crashing on Jett's couch after binging on meth, and reveals that he saw Jett and Haven kill Nola Bliss, and now wants a cut of the insurance money ...


INT. JETT’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Jett quietly closes the door.
Tip-toes into her apartment.

The TV is on. Loud.
Machine guns. EXPLOSIONS.

JETT
Rush.

Rush sits on the couch.
Turns, looks.

RUSH
Hey, what’s up.

Jett goes to the table.
Grabs the remote. PUNCHES mute.

JETT
I thought you’d sleep -- longer.

RUSH
I can’t crash more than a couple hours.

He leans over,
HONKS up a big, fat line.

RUSH
(offers straw, evil grin)
Wanna bump?

JETT
No, I told you I --

RUSH
That’s an awesome houseboat.
It’s so fucking BIG.

JETT
Houseboat?

RUSH
Yeah, the one your --
friend lives in.
(beat)
Or should I say girlfriend?

JETT
How did you, what did you --

RUSH
I saw her address on the fridge.
Got curious when I saw
it was a boat. Walked over.
(another line)
Man, that was some fight, huh?
Who knew a fucking MIDGET
could be so strong?

JETT
Rush --

RUSH
Now THAT’S what I call
'dwarf tossing.'

He grabs his beer off the table.
Takes a slug. Big grin.

JETT
Now wait a minute --

RUSH
No, YOU wait a minute.
(enjoying his power)
What did you do with the body?

Pause.

JETT
What do you want?
You wanna -- stay here awhile?

RUSH
Hell, no.
I figure with my cut
I can get my own pad.

JETT
Your CUT?

RUSH
You killed her husband
for the insurance money, right?
Old fuck’s gotta be loaded.
I saw on the news he was some
famous old-time director or some shit.

JETT
And if I give you a -- cut,
you’ll go away, leave me alone.

RUSH
Yeah.
(stands)
Can I have my keys?

JETT
Where are you going?

RUSH
I gotta go home,
sort out some business,
get some supplies, some clothes.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back right away.
Wanna be here for the big payoff.

Jett TOSSES Rush’s keys.
He CATCHES them.

JETT
How much -- do you want?

RUSH
I’m thinking -- half.

JETT
HALF?

RUSH
You really scared me.
I haven’t see you go off like that
since the thing in Kansas.
(beat)
This time you can bury it yourself.

Rush starts for the door.

JETT
The body’s in the trunk of your car.
So I suggest you drive carefully.

RUSH
(stops, spins around)
What the fuck?

JETT
Hey -- if you’re in this,
you gotta earn your share.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Sleep With The Fishes


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of THE DISH, B-movie starlet Haven Crayce gets questioned by the cops about her husband's untimely suspicious death ...


INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - DECK - NIGHT
Haven stands with Dr. Bing as
EMS TECHNICIANS carry Dart’s body
in a bag on a gurney off the boat.

They watch, as Haven dabs
her eyes with a handkerchief.

A YOUNG, LATINA COP
takes Haven’s statement.

YOUNG, LATINA COP
Do you know why your husband
fell in the water?

HAVEN
I don’t know.
I was meditating,
listening to my Ipod --
and I heard a noise,
and came up on deck.
He was standing there,
at the railing --

YOUNG, LATINA COP
What was he doing out there
so late?

HAVEN
He was having -- an attack.
Insulin shock.

YOUNG, LATINA COP
What from? Too much insulin?

HAVEN
No. Not enough --

YOUNG, LATINA COP
How did you know that?

HAVEN
I’m a -- I was a -- nurse.
His insulin pump -- wasn’t on.

YOUNG, LATINA COP
How could you tell?

HAVEN
It has this, blinking light,
and it, it --
(a sob)
Wasn’t blinking.

She breaks down, crying.
Dr. Bing puts his arm around her.
Consoles her. Looks at the cop.

DR. BING
Will that be all, officer?
This woman is distraught
over the loss of her husband.
I’d like her to get some rest.

The cop looks at Haven.
Narrows her eyes.

YOUNG, LATINA COP
That’ll be all for now.
(hands Dr. Bing her card)
Call me if she remembers
anything else.

The cop tips her cap. Walks away.

DR. BING
(leads her to the couch)
Come, my dear. Lie down.
I’ll give you something
to help you get some sleep.

She gets on the couch.
Curls up in the fetal position.

HAVEN
I’m afraid to fall asleep --
every time I close my eyes,
I see -- him, in the water.

Dr. Bing pulls a large syringe
from his bag. SQUIRTS it.

DR. BING
Not to worry.
I’m going to give you something
that’ll make you sleep like the dead.
(gives injection)
I want you to count backwards
from one-hundred.

HAVEN
One-hundred, ninety-nine --
(drowsy)
Ninety -- eight --

And she’s out.
Dr. Bing watches her.

Fishes out the cops’ card.
His cell phone.
Dials a number. Listens.

DR. BING
(reads off the card)
Hello, Officer -- Vargas?
It’s Dr. Bing Birmingham,
we just spoke with you --
(listens)
Yes, I do.
I’d like to have that
insulin pump checked out.
See if it was defective.
(listens)
It’s already going to the lab?
Excellent.
(listens)
You, too -- thanks.

He hangs up.
Looks at Haven.
Sleeping peacefully.

DR. BING
I can’t put my finger on it,
but I think there’s something’s
rotten in the state of Denmark.

Friday, October 2, 2015

The Damned Don't Cry


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of THE DISH, in the aftermath of killing Dart, Haven calls 911 to report the 'accident.' Meanwhile, Jett makes her escape with Nola's dead body in her gym bag ... and then stashes it in Rush's trunk for safekeeping ...


EXT. VIA MARINA DRIVE - NIDHT
It’s late. Only the occasional car.
An empty bus WHOOSHES by.

We see Jett on the sidewalk,
carrying the gym bag.

CLOSE ON THE BAG --
as it leaks a red spot of
BLOOD on the concrete.

EXT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - ROOF DECK - AT THAT MOMENT
Haven talks on her cell phone.
Paces frantically.

HAVEN
It’s my husband,
he fell off our boat into the water,
he was in insulin shock, and he --
(listens)
Tahiti Way.
Slip fifty two, it’s a big, old houseboat.
Two and a half stories, brown.
(listens)
YES, he’s still in the water!
(listens)
But -- I can’t swim --
(listens)
Haven Crayce.
My -- husband’s name is Dart, Dart Crayce!
(listens)
I was meditating, listening to music,
and -- I heard a noise, and --
(listens)
Okay. Okay. Please hurry!
(listens)
Thanks, BYE!

Haven dials another number.
Listens. Voice mail. Shit.

HAVEN
Dr. Bing! It’s Haven!
You have to come, quick,
Dart fell off the boat,
and I don’t know what to do!
I called nine-one-one,
but they’re not here yet,
and I don’t know how to swim --

BEEP.

HAVEN
Okay --

She goes to the railing.
Looks down. Evil smile.

HAVEN
Goodbye, sucker.
I hope they have hand jobs in hell.

EXT. JETT’S APARTMENT BUILDING - FRONT ENTRANCE
Jett stands on the stoop,
fishes out her keys.

Sees Rush’s.
A lightbulb pops.

She smiles grimly,
turns around.

DOWN THE STREET
Rush’s beat-up Volkswagon bug
is parked at the end.

JETT
opens the trunk.
Puts the bag in.
SLAMS it shut.

JETT
Sorry, Rush.
Just for a little while.
Until I can figure out
what to do with it --

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Enough To Kill


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of THE DISH, after Haven's husband Dart goes into insulin shock and falls off the houseboat and dies, she and Jett have to get rid of the evidence ...


INT. HOUSEBOAT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Jett GRABS Nola. THROWS her across the room.
She HITS the wall with a sickening THWUMP.

BANGS onto the floor. Lights out.
A pool of BLOOD starts spreading.

HAVEN
Fucking nosy MIDGET.

JETT
(reels back, in shock)
What have I done?

Another, louder MOAN from upstairs.

HAVEN
NOW what are we gonna do?

JETT
You go upstairs and
shut him the fuck up,
and I’ll care of -- the body.

HAVEN
But what am I supposed to --

JETT
I don’t know.
But we got to buy us some time,
so I can --
(gestures at Nola)
Get rid of -- that.

Pause.

HAVEN
Wait a minute. Listen.
Do you hear that?

JETT
Hear what?
I don’t hear anything.

HAVEN
Exactly. He stopped --

They RACE up the stairs into --

DART’S BEDROOM
which is empty.

HAVEN
What the fuck? Where did he --

JETT
(sees, points)
There he is. Out on the deck.

EXT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - ROOF DECK - CONTINUOUS
Dart stands at the railing.
Bent over.

DART
Somebody -- HELP --

HAVEN
Dart, honey.
What are you doing out here?
You’ll catch your death of cold.

She starts to walk toward him,
but he freaks out.

DART
No -- you -- stay away -- away --

And, as he tries to
move away from her,
he lurches backward,
loses his footing, slips,
and FALLS OVER --

And HITS the inky black water
with a SPLASH.

HAVEN
SHIT.

JETT
We’ve just been FUCKED.

HAVEN
What do we do NOW?

JETT
We gotta take care of -- the body.

They RACE downstairs.
Jett looks around.

Sees her gym bag.
Empties it out.

Goes over to Nola’s dead body.
Stuffs her in the bag.

Uses the gym clothes
to sop up the blood.

JETT
You COULD help me out here --

HAVEN
Blood makes me -- freak out.
(looks around)
Wait a minute. Where’s Buster?

JETT
He must have run away.
We’ll look for him later.

HAVEN
Don’t bother.
He was Dart’s dog.
Drove me fucking crazy.

Jett stuffs the bloody
clothes in the bag.

Goes to the sink.
Washes her hands.
Looks back at Haven.

JETT
As soon as I’m out
the door, call 911.
Tell them as much of
the truth as you can.
He had an attack.
You didn’t hear it
because you were sleeping.

HAVEN
I’ve got it.
I was listening to my Ipod.

JETT
Even better.
Then, you went to check on him,
and he was out on the deck.

HAVEN
And he -- and he --

JETT
Got startled when you
called out to him.

HAVEN
That’ll work.

JETT
It’ll have to work.

Jett dries off her hands.
Goes to Haven. Kisses her.

JETT
I love you more than --

HAVEN
Enough to kill?

PUSH IN ON Jett.
Hugging Haven for dear life.

JETT
Straight down the line, baby.
(beat)
Straight down the line.