Monday, May 22, 2017

The Great Escape


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Brick, Gaga and the surviving revolutionaries try to escape the zombie invasion by racing up to the roof of the building. Meanwhile, up on the roof, Rommy tends to an increasingly infected Jool, and turns to Ginger to try figure out a way to escape ...


EXT. CARLING’S MANSION - NIGHT
Gaga and Brick RUN into the building.

INT. CARLING’S MANSION - FOYER - NIGHT
They SLAM the door shut.

BRICK
That’s not gonna hold ‘em long.

GAGA
(nods)
C’mon -- UPSTAIRS.

Gaga and Brick start RUNNING
up the grand staircase.

ON THE ROOF
Nin turns to Ginger.

NIN
We better go warn them.

GINGER
Uh, YEAH.

They RACE toward the trap door,
then BOLT down the ladder.

IN THE HALLWAY
Rommy holds Jool in his arms.
He sees the lesions.

There’s now more of them.
He kisses the top of her head.

ROMMY
You’re NOT gonna die on me.

JOOL
(opens her eyes)
Rommy -- ?

ROMMY
Hold on.
You’re gonna be okay.
You’re gonna be okay.

JOOL
Okay --
(eyes go glassy)
Need to -- sleep.

And she PASSES OUT again.

IN THE FOYER
The front door FLIES OPEN
and the pack of zombies RACES INSIDE.
Start FLYING UP THE STAIRS.

AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS
Gaga reaches the top.
But Brick, still really high,
TRIPS and FALLS. He groans.
Grabs the railing.

BRICK
My ankle --

The zombies RUN UP THE STAIRS
and ATTACK him. Start FEASTING.
Gaga SCREAMS. RUNS down --

THE HALLWAY
Where she sees Rommy
holding a lifeless Jool.

GAGA
They’re COMING THIS WAY --
(off his stare)
Is she okay?

ROMMY
(hoists Jool over his shoulder)
I don’t KNOW.

SCREAMING behind them.

GAGA
C’mon, LET’S GO --

They turn and RUN toward
the steel door, which FLIES OPEN,
revealing Nin and Ginger.

GINGER
Get IN HERE.

Rommy and Gaga FLY into the room.
Ginger and Nin SLAM the door.

Everyone looks at each other.
Breathing heavily.

ROMMY
Thanks. Holy shit was that close.

He carefully lays Jool
down on the bed.
Strokes her hair.

Looks up at them.
Sighs. Then realizes.

ROMMY
Hey. Where’s Brick?

GAGA
Didn’t make it.

NIN
(to Rommy)
Is she okay?

ROMMY
I think so -- for now.
But we gotta hurry.

GINGER
You’re the boyfriend.

NIN
(half-smile)
His name is Rommy.

ROMMY
Nice to meet you. Nin, right?
(off her nod)
Okay, listen to me.
I’ve got a vaccine.
We need to get out of here
so I can go make some.

She keeps going in
and out of consciousness --

GINGER
You’ve got a VACCINE?

ROMMY
Yeah, but it’s not going to
do us any good if we’re DEAD.

The zombies start BANGING
on the door. Everyone looks.
Horrified. Rommy turns to Nin.

ROMMY (CONT'D)
How strong is that door?

NIN
It’s -- pretty strong, but --
(gestures helplessly)
I dunno.

ROMMY
(sees the ladder)
That goes up to the roof?
(off her nod)
Then LET’S GO.

One by one, they start
going up the ladder --
first Gaga, then Nin, then Ginger,
then Rommy, carrying Jool.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Love Me Do


Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after desperately searching the republic for her after they tragically got separated, Rommy finally finds Jool ...


EXT. CARLING’S MANSION - FRONT ENTRANCE - NIGHT
The SWAT truck is parked
in front by the curb.

Rommy, Brick and Gaga
stand on the sidewalk.
Look at the building.

BRICK
Nice digs.

GAGA
So this is how the other half --
(beat)
Uh -- lived.

ROMMY
I’ll go inside first.
You guys stay outside
and keep a lookout.

ON THE ROOF
Jool waves frantically.
Beaming. SO fucking excited.

JOOL
ROMMY. Up HERE.

ROMMY
Looks up. Sees her.

ROMMY
Ohmigod, JOOL. THERE you are.
I’m COMING UP.

JOOL (O.C.)
I’m coming DOWN --

IN FRONT OF THE BUILDING
Rommy RACES inside.

ON THE ROOF
Jool RUNS to the trap door.
FLIES down the ladder.

ON THE MAIN STAIRWAY
Rommy RACES up the stairs.

IN THE PANIC ROOM
Jool WHIPS the door open.
RUNS into --

THE CORRIDOR
Where Rommy RUNS toward her.
They FLY into each other’s arms.

ROMMY
I thought I’d lost you FOREVER --

JOOL
I KNEW you’d come find me.

They gaze into each other’s eyes.
Jool strokes his face.

JOOL (CONT'D)
You DID get infected.

ROMMY
It’s okay. We have a vaccine.

JOOL
You DO?

ROMMY
Yeah. It’s gonna be okay --
(studies her face)
You’re infected, too.

JOOL
I’m okay. Just feel a little --

She COLLAPSES in his arms.

JOOL (CONT’D)
Tired.

And goes out like a light.

ROMMY
JOOL.

ON THE ROOF
Nin and Ginger scan the horizon.
See something.

GINGER
Oh, no. The zombies in the park --

NIN
Are coming THIS WAY.

ON THE STREET
Brick and Gaga stand
in front the building.

GAGA
Do you hear that?

The sound of SCREAMING
gets nearer and nearer.

BRICK
(looks)
Oh, SHIT.

DOWN THE STREET
A pack of RABID SCREAMING ZOMBIES
is coming right at them.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Signs Of Life


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy, Brick, Gaga and the rest of the revolutionaries recover from surviving the zombie attack. Meanwhile, Jool searches the skyline for any sign of Rommy ...


INT. SWAT TRUCK - NIGHT
Rommy’s behind the wheel.
Grim. Determined.

Brick rides shotgun,
eyes bleary from too much weed.
Wasted.

BRICK
(sings)
'With their tanks and their bombs,
and their bombs and their guns --
zombie, zombie, zombie -- '

GAGA
So where to next?

ROMMY
First we go get Jool,
then find somewhere
to make the vaccine,
and THEN go to the media.
(turns, looks at them)
So no more Doobie Brothers, okay?

GAGA
I’m fine. Just have a mellow buzz.
Still fully functioning --
(looks at Brick)
Not like Zombie Garcia here.

BRICK
Chill OUT. Relax.
I’m just blowing off
some steam, okay?
Surviving a zombie
apocalypse is STRESSFUL.

ROMMY
Yeah, and so is having
your romantic rendezvous
FUCKED UP by ARMED GUARDS.

GAGA
That must of been rough.

ROMMY
Yeah, well the story’s
gonna have a happy ending.
(looks out the window)
We’re almost there --

Rommy pulls the picture
out of his pocket.
Sneaks a look.

It BLOWS out the window.
He tries to grab it --

ROMMY
Shit.

EXT. CARLING’S MANSION - ROOF - NIGHT
Jool, Nin and Ginger sit
on the ledge of the roof.

Look down below at the devastation.
Searching for signs of life.

JOOL
Look. Over there in the park.
There’s another pack of them.

GINGER
Zombies in the park.
That’s a LONG way
from the Globe Theater.

JOOL
(sees something)
Ohmigod. ROMMY. He’s HERE.
I KNEW he was coming.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Blood Sucking Freaks


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 30 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Jool discovers that her uncle Carling has been infected with the zombie virus during the invasion, then rescues her nanny in the nick of time, and then barely escapes into their panic room ...


INT. CARLING’S MANSION - FOYER - NIGHT
Ginger and Jool tip-toe
across the marble floor.

Point their weapons.
Eyes scanning the room.

GINGER
This room is bigger
than my whole apartment.

Jool leads the way toward the study.

JOOL
This way --

Suddenly Carling appears down the hall.
He’s been INFECTED. Badly. Late-stage.
Skin mottled. Bloody. Eyes BLAZING.

JOOL (CONT’D)
(horrified)
NO --

He RACES toward Jool and Ginger.
They FIRE at him.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

His head EXPLODES
in a RED-BROWN MIST.

They lower their guns.
Jool looks at him sadly.

GINGER
I’m so -- sorry.

JOOL
(eyes tear up)
That -- wasn’t my uncle anymore --

GINGER
What about your parents?

JOOL
They were killed by infecteds
when I was seven --
(realizes)
NIN.

GINGER
Who’s that?

JOOL
My nanny.
(thinks)
Maybe she’s in the panic room.
C’mon, follow me.

She trots over to
the grand staircase.

Ginger follows her.
They RACE up the steps.

INT. UPSTAIRS CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
Jool BANG, BANG, BANGS on the
steel door to the panic room.

Ginger stands guard,
weapon pointed down the hallway.

JOOL
NIN, it’s ME, JOOL.
Are you in there?

GINGER
Maybe we should check
the rest of the --

The door OPENS.
Nin looks at Jool, then Ginger.

NIN
Thank god you’re okay.

JOOL
Thank god YOU’RE okay.

NIN
Your uncle --

JOOL
I know.

NIN
(sighs)
C’mon in.

INT. PANIC ROOM - CONTINUOUS
A very large room outfitted
like a studio apartment.

The best of everything.
Very comfortable.
Ginger looks around.

GINGER
Fanciest panic room
I’VE ever seen.
(looks at them)
Well, now that you’re both safe,
I should get going.

JOOL
Wait, could you stay a
little while and protect us?
I have to wait for Rommy.

GINGER
How is he going to find you
if you’re holed up in here?

JOOL
Oh, that’s no problem.
We can access the roof over there.
(points at a ladder up to a ceiling hatch)
Please? Just for a little while?

PUSH IN ON Ginger’s face.
Her face softens. She sighs.

GINGER
Okay. Let’s go up --

Friday, May 12, 2017

Flaming Creatures


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, it's a fight to the death when Rommy, Brick, Monster, Gaga and Reno go head-to-head with a horde of screaming, mutant zombies ...


EXT. TIMES SQUARE - SUBWAY ENTRANCE - NIGHT
A disaster area.
Vehicles lie in ruins in flames.

A movie theater is on fire.
Zombies CHASE people in the street, SCREAMING.
Explosions BOOM. Scattered GUNFIRE.

Brick, Jag and Rommy carefully come up
the stairs to the mouth of the subway entrance.

Press themselves against the wall.
Carefully look around the corner.

BRICK
It’s like Resident Evil.

JAG
But without the hot chick.

ROMMY
(sees something)
Check out the SWAT truck across the street.

BRICK
That would work --

JAG
Think the keys are in it?

BRICK
Don’t need no stinkin’ keys.
I’ll run across the street, get the truck,
and come pick you guys up.

JAG
Better you than me --

BRICK
(sees something)
I’m gonna cover myself with that trash can --

ROMMY
Okay. I’ll go tell the others.

He turns, walks down the steps to --

THE SUBWAY EXIT STAIRS
Where Gaga, Reno, Hammer and Monster are waiting.

ROMMY (CONT'D)
There’s a SWAT truck across the street.
Brick’s gonna go get it and then pick us up.

MONSTER
Thank god. My leg hurts like a motherfucker.

RENO
(points at the spear)
Poor baby. At least YOU’RE not
skewered like a shish-ka-bob.

ROMMY
Put a sock in it.
We’ve gotta keep a cool head
if we’re gonna get outta this alive.
C’mon, let’s go --

RENO
Well, look who’s all mature
and shit all of a sudden.

OUT ON THE STREET
Brick turns over a trash can.
Gets under it.

Starts moving across the street.
Zombies FLY BY, but don’t smell him.

IN THE TUNNEL
The gang starts walking up
the steps to the street.

Suddenly, SCREAMING from down below.
They all turn and look.

ZOMBIES. Running up the stairs.
Rommy GRABS Gaga’s hand.

ROMMY
Let’s GO.

Rommy, Gaga and Hammer RACE up the stairs,
Monster and Reno right behind.

A rabid zombie GRABS Reno by the spear,
YANKS her down and starts EATING HER.
She SCREAMS.

Monster pulls out his squirt gun to shoot,
but gets GRABBED by zombies who
BITE INTO HIM and start EATING.
He SCREAMS.

UP ON THE SURFACE
Brick makes it to the truck.
He THROWS off the trash can and JUMPS IN.
Starts working on the wires on the steering column.

AT THE SUBWAY ENTRANCE
Rommy, Gaga and Hammer RUN out of
the subway and onto the street.

Zombies from all directions smell,
then see them, start RUNNING toward them.
SCREAMING.

Hammer adjusts his flamethrower. Turns it ON.
A GIANT SPRAY OF FIRE SHOOTS OUT.

HAMMER
Flame ON --

He slowly spins in a circle,
SPRAYING the zombies with FLAMES.

As he HITS each one, they EXPLODE
into SCREAMING FIREBALLS OF BLACK SMOKE.

IN THE SWAT TRUCK
Brick watches them destruct. Gets back to work.
The wires SPARK. The engine ROARS.
He starts driving toward them.

OUT ON THE STREET
Hammer keeps ROASTING the zombies as they
SNAP, CRACKLE POP. They all cover their mouths.

THE TRUCK
Roars up alongside them. Brick leans out the window.

BRICK
Get in, GET IN --

Everyone JUMPS IN. SLAMS the doors shut.

ROMMY
Holy fucking SHIT was that close.

GAGA
I think just peed my Hello Kitties.

BRICK
(realizes)
What about --
Rommy shakes his head sadly.

BRICK
God-DAMMIT.

Zombies start SLAPPING against
the sides of the vehicle,
the windows. SCREAMING to get in.

ROMMY
What are you WAITING FOR? GO, GO, GO --

Brick HITS the gas, and the truck ROARS AWAY.

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - FORTY SECOND STREET - NIGHT
The truck FLIES through the pack of infected.
CRUSHING them. Zombies SPRAY into the air.

But a few still hang onto the sides,
climb onto the roof.

INT. SWAT TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Brick sees an intersection up ahead.
Gets ready to turn --
and SPINS the steering wheel, HARD.

EXT. SWAT TRUCK - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
The truck CAREENS around the corner,
SHAKING OFF the zombies clinging to the sides.

But there’s still one on top.
He starts SCREAMING and POUNDING on the roof.

IN THE TRUCK
They all look up. Freaked.
Gaga pulls out a book of matches. Lights one.
Touches it to the pack. It EXPLODES in flames.
She leans out the window. TOSSES it up.

ON THE TRUCK
The matches hit the zombie. It EXPLODES IN FLAMES.

IN THE TRUCK
Gaga smiles. Pulls a joint out from behind her ear.

GAGA
Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

Lights up. Takes a big hit.
Holds it in. EXHALES.

ROMMY
Where the fuck did you get THAT?

GAGA
Times Square? Hello?

ROMMY
Gimme some of that.

GAGA
(hands it to him)
No woman, no cry.

BRICK
You think you should be smoking that NOW?

ROMMY
Excuse ME. After that shit back there,
I need to take the edge off.
(beat)
And besides, in my condition it’s medicinal.

Brick stares at him, taking a big toke.

BRICK
Fuck it. Gimme a hit of that --


Monday, May 8, 2017

End Of Days


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy, Brick, Gaga and the rest of the revolutionaries make their way uptown through the subway tunnel ... until they come across a wall of bricks. Meanwhile, newscasters Brock Landers and Nobu Stevens have a complete meltdown on the air while reporting on the zombie invasion ...


INT. SUBWAY TUNNEL - NIGHT
The hand cart continues going north.
Everyone stares ahead silently.

Gaga turns, looks at Rommy.
He stares at the picture.

Sighs. Puts it away.
Sees Gaga looking at him.

GAGA
How you feeling?

ROMMY
Like I’m swimming in a
big vat of fuck you.

GAGA
(feels his forehead)
You’re burning up --

ROMMY
I’ll be okay.
I just need to see Jool.

GAGA
We’ll find her. I promise.
Then we’ll make some more
of the vaccine --

JAG
SHIT.

MONSTER
FUCK ME.

Rommy and Gaga turn and look.
The tunnel ahead has been
WALLED UP WITH BRICKS.

BRICK
End of the line.
Guess we’re gonna have
to go above-ground.

ROMMY
Where are we?

BRICK
Forty-second street.

JAG
Fucking GREAT.

GAGA
Why did they wall it up?

BRICK
Fucking KAPPS like to keep out
illegal immigrants.

ROMMY
Oh, YEAH?
(raises his fist in the air)
Gimme your tired, poor, huddled
masses yearning to KICK ASS.
(off their looks)
What. What you looking at?

INT. NEWS STUDIO - NIGHT
Brock and Nobu sit at their news desk.
Look scared. Brock absently shuffles papers.
Nobu sips from her coffee mug.

BROCK
This just in, the republic is now
in a state of complete chaos.
We urge everyone to STAY INSIDE --

NOBU
Fuck it, Brock. What’s the use?
It’s Armageddon. Judgment day.
The end of days.
(hiccups)
You know? Fuck it.
We might as well jump off the roof --

Brock GRABS her mug. Smells it.

BROCK
(sharp whisper)
What were you told about

DRINKING on the job?
Nobu GRABS the mug back.

NOBU
It’s the END OF THE FUCKING WORLD, Brock.
And I’m gonna have a FUCKING COCKTAIL,
so DEAL with it.

She drains it.
Reaches under the desk.

Brings up a bottle.
Pours some more.

rock stares in the camera.
Blinks.

BROCK
We now go to Paul David Brazill,
our man on the street, who --
(listens to his ear piece)
He’s dead -- ?
(looks into the camera)
We’ll be right back after
this word from our sponsor.

He exhales.
Assumes the camera is off.
But it isn’t.

BROCK
You fucking LUSH --

NOBU
Can it, pretty boy.
Don’t think I don’t know about
your Columbian BOOGER SUGAR.
(beat)
Hey. Gimme a bump of that --

Brock turns red.
Looks to his right, then his left.

Pulls a snifter out of his pocket.
Hands it to her.

BROCK
Here.
Maybe this will help even you out.

Nobu grins maniacally.
GRABS it. HONKS a hit. Then another.

NOBU
WHOO, that’s good shit.
I feel like DANCING --

Friday, May 5, 2017

Panic Room


Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 28 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after Jool's father gets eaten by zombies during the invasion, she escapes to the roof of her building, where she gets help from a surprise ally ...


INT. CARLING’S STUDY - DAY
Carling picks up the phone on his desk.
Tries to dial a number.
SLAMS it down. Looks at Nin.

CARLING
Phones are down.

NIN
What are we going to do?

CARLING
The panic room --

They look at each other. Realize.
They RACE out of the room.

INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Carling and Nin RUN into her room.
Stop. Look around.

NIN
Where IS she?

CARLING
I don’t know. She’s GONE.

Loud SCREAMING downstairs.

CARLING (CONT’D)
We gotta GO --

NIN
But JOOL --

CARLING
We don’t have TIME.
(looks up)
Please god, forgive me --

He DASHES out of the room,
Nin trailing behind him.

INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
They RUN toward a steel door
at the end of the hallway,
just as A PACK OF ZOMBIES
reaches the top of the stairs.

They see them.
Carling TRIPS and falls.
Nin makes it to the door.

NIN
(turns, sees)
CARLING --

But it’s too late.
The zombies LEAP on top
of him and start FEASTING.

Nin FLIES into the room.
SLAMS the door shut.

EXT. CARLING’S MANSION - ROOF - NIGHT
Jool makes it to the top.
Climbs onto the roof.

Looks over the edge.
Sees dozens of zombies
storming into the building.

JOOL
Can’t stay here.

She goes to the other side.
Looks at the chasm between
her building and the one next door.

JOOL
I can’t jump across THAT.

Jool finds a long, wooden plank.
Picks it up. GROANS.

Her head starts spinning.
She takes a deep breath.

JOOL
C’mon. You can DO this.

Brings the plank over to the ledge.
Carefully pushes it out until
it reaches the other side.

But it just barely makes it.
She’s gonna have to be very careful.

Suddenly a SCREAMING ZOMBIE
appears on the roof.

Jool pulls out her gun.
SHOOTS it in the head.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
It EXPLODES with a POP.

She turns around, gets down,
then starts crawling out across
the board toward the other side.

JOOL
Don’t look down, don’t look down --

But she does.
Almost passes out.

She takes a deep breath.
Keeps on going.

Just then, SCREAMING behind her.
MORE rabid infecteds
are on the roof.
She’s gotta HURRY --

She SCRAMBLES across
the board on all fours.

The zombies RACE over to
the side of the building,
get to the board,
just as Jool makes it
to the other side.

She KICKS the plank --
And it FALLS over the side.

But Jool SLIPS. GRABS the edge
of the roof with her hands,
legs KICKING WILDLY.

JOOL
Omigod -- HELP.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
It’s OKAY. Let go.
I’ll CATCH you.

She turns, looks down, sees --

ON THE GROUND
Stands a FEMALE COMMANDO IN BLACK.

Meet Ginger Jones (27).
Elite black ops. Feral.
Menacing. And totally hot.

GINGER
Just let go.
I’ll catch you, I promise.

ON THE ROOF
Jool looks down. Freaked OUT.

JOOL
But it’s three stories --

Her hands SLIP, and she
PLUMMETS DOWN to the ground --

where Ginger deftly
CATCHES her in her arms.

JOOL
Holy shit.
(beat)
Thanks.

Ginger puts her down. Smiles.

GINGER
No problem, Miss.

JOOL
(stares at her uniform)
Who ARE you?

GINGER
If I told you,
I’d have to kill you.
(stares at her)
You’re infected.

JOOL
Please don’t shoot me.

GINGER
Relax. I’m part of a Mont
secret black ops cell.
We find and hide the infected
until we can find a cure.

JOOL
Wow. That’s -- great.
(closes her eyes)
I feel like I’m
going to pass out --

GINGER
C’mon. Let’s find a place
where you can rest.

JOOL
(eyes FLY OPEN)
NO. I can’t leave.
Rommy’s going to be here
any minute.

GINGER
Who’s Rommy?

She pulls out the picture.
Shows it to Ginger.

JOOL
My boyfriend.
(points at her building)
I want to see if my family is okay.
Would you come with me?

GINGER
Sure. Lead the way --

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Night Of The Living Dread


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, out on her balcony, Jool sees the zombie invasion closing in on her building, so she escapes out the window and starts climbing up to the roof ...


EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE - STREET FAIR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Rommy and Jool stand on the corner.
Now holding each other.

JOOL
Okay. Now I’ve GOT to go.

ROMMY
Yeah. I should go, too.

They stare into each other’s eyes.
Vibrating with unrequited lust.
He tucks her hair behind her ear.

JOOL
Then why aren’t we moving?

ROMMY
I dunno.
(beat)
Did the earth not move for you, too?

She smiles. They pull apart.

JOOL
Until we meet again.

ROMMY
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

JOOL
Oooh. Look who’s the poet.

ROMMY
It’s not -- original.

JOOL
It’s the thought that counts.
(blows him a kiss)
Bye.

She turns around. Hustles off.

PUSH IN ON Rommy. Watching her go.
Aching with longing.

ROMMY
(softly)
Bye.

INT. CARLING’S MANSION - JOOL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jool stands at the balcony railing.
Looks at the drainpipe leading up
to the roof that Rommy climbed up.

JOOL
Okay. Deep breath. You can do it.

She GRABS it.
Then hears MACHINE GUN FIRE down below.

Turns, looks down, and sees,
much to her horror --

EXT. FIFTH AVENUE - CARLING’S MANSION - NIGHT
A HORDE OF RABID ZOMBIES surrounding
the barricades around the mansion.

Carling’s PRIVATE SECURITY GUARDS
stand behind shields and FIRE at them.
But they’re WAY outnumbered.

JOOL
Watches. Freaks out.

JOOL
Ohmigod.

THE ZOMBIES
SMASH through one of the barricades
and STAMPEDE toward the guards,
SCREAMING AND CHATTERING.
The guards keep SHOOTING.

A few get HIT, their heads EXPLODING.
But they’re too many of them,
and they reach the guards
and start EATING them.

A ZOMBIE
CHOMPS on a guard’s neck.
Red goo goes FLYING.

ANOTHER ZOMBIE
LUNGES at another guard.
Buries his face in his stomach.

RIPS INTO his flesh.
YANKS out his guts with his teeth,
just as his head gets HIT and EXPLODES.

They keep advancing.
Start POURING into the house.

JOOL
Sees this. Her eyes BUG OUT.

JOOL
Holy fucking SHIT.

She RACES back into her room.
Goes to the door. Realizes.

JOOL
Panic room’s up two flights.
Too risky. SHIT. FUCK.
Races back outside to --

THE BALCONY
She goes back to the railing.

JOOL
If it held him, it’ll hold me --

Stops a moment. Feels dizzy.
Gathers her strength.

Climbs up on the railing.
GRABS onto the pipe.

And starts CLIMBING UP.
She turns. Looks down. Gulps.

JOOL
Don’t look down, don’t look down --

And starts making her way
up the side of the building --

Monday, May 1, 2017

A Mission From God


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy, Brick, Cosmo and the rest of the revolutionaries make their way through a subway tunnel under the Republic of Manhattan, but get accosted by a horde of homeless zombies ...


INT. SUBWAY TUNNEL - NIGHT
Most of the lights are out.
It’s eerie. Rats scurry about.
The hand truck rolls down
the tracks in the dim light.

ROMMY
(reads the number on the wall)
Thirty-fourth street.

BRICK
What street is she on?

Rommy closes his eyes.
Rubs them with his fists. Thinks.

ROMMY
Uh, seventy-fifth and fifth.
Right on the park.

BRICK
You feeling okay?

ROMMY
(looks at him)
Well, let’s see.
My eyes are watering,
I’m burning up with a fever,
and it hurts when I breathe.
(beat)
Just peachy.

JAG
(sees something)
We got a problem, chief.

BRICK
(turns, looks)
Shit.

UP AHEAD
Is a crude ROADBLOCK made of wooden crates,
trash cans and big piles of garbage.
A fire burns dimly behind it.

THE HAND TRUCK
Slows to a stop in front of it.

ROMMY
What the fuck do we do NOW?

ANGRY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
HALT. Who goes there?

BRICK
We need to get through.
We’re on a mission from God.

ANGRY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
There IS no GOD.

A FILTHY, BEARDED HOMELESS SKELL emerges
from the edge of the barrier carrying a spear.
Infected. Badly. About to turn.

FILTHY, BEARDED HOMELESS SKELL
If there was, we wouldn’t have been
cast out of society to die a living DEATH.

ROMMY
Okay, so you’re infected.
We get it. I’M infected.
But we’ve got a vaccine for the virus.

BRICK
That’s right. And we need to get through
so we can get the word out to the people.
Like you --

FILTHY, BEARDED HOMELESS SKELL
You have a VACCINE? GIVE IT TO ME.

ROMMY
My friends, uh -- used it all up.
But we’re gonna make a new batch. Promise.

FILTHY, BEARDED HOMELESS SKELL
I don’t BELIEVE YOU.

And right before their eyes, he TURNS
into a RABID, CHATTERING ZOMBIE.

He THROWS his spear -- which
WHIZZES THROUGH THE AIR and
HITS Monster in the leg.

MONSTER
OWWW --

BRICK
GET ‘EM.

Jag WHIPS OUT his Uzi.
SPRAYS him with bullets.

His skeletal body JERKS like
a puppet in a dance of death.

FALLS to the ground in a
gooey puddle of flesh and bones.

MONSTER
(YANKS the spear out)
Fucking homeless zombie piece of SHIT.

Brick hops off the truck.
Pulls a grenade out of his pocket.

BRICK
Stand back. I’m gonna blow
a hole in that rat-trap.

Just then, a GROUP OF INFECTED HOMELESS SKELLS
charges at them from around the barricade.

Spears go WHIZZING through the air.
One of them HITS Reno in the chest, THWUNK.

RENO
UH --

Jag OPENS FIRE on them in
a hail of MACHINE GUN FIRE --
SHREDDING them to ribbons.
He sighs. Checks the gun magazine.

JAG
That’s it for the ammo.

BRICK
Great. Just great --
(to Reno)
Are you okay?

Reno looks down at the spear
that’s gone right through her.

Feels around behind her
where it sticks out in the back.

RENO
I’m -- okay.
(looks down)
Just a little -- heartburn.

BRICK
Let me pull it out.

ROMMY
No, DON’T. Pulling it out might KILL her.

RENO
Well, that’s just great.
So I’m supposed to walk around
like a human pin-cushion?

BRICK
Zip it. You’re alive. Be grateful.
(beat)
Everybody take cover.

Everybody gets behind the hand truck, ducks down.
Brick HURLS the grenade at the barricade.

It EXPLODES, BANG. Debris goes
FLYING IN THE AIR, pelting the tunnel.

They get back up on the truck.
Hammer takes Monster’s place.

Monster wraps a rag around his leg.
Pulls it TIGHT. Grimaces.

BRICK (CONT’D)
Alright, let’s MOVE IT.

They start pumping the handles.
The cart starts moving.

ROMMY
(to Gaga)
How you holding up?

GAGA
Well, considering my family is dead,
we’re trapped in a subway tunnel,
and I just saw someone mow down
a pack of rabid zombies
with a semi-automatic weapon --
(beat)
Can I get back to you on that?

Friday, April 28, 2017

Flaming Creatures


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy, Brick, Cosmo and the rest of their revolutionary sleeper cell escape a rabid pack of zombies ... by going underground into a subway tunnel ...


EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE STREET - BROWNSTONE - NIGHT
Brick, Rommy, Reno, Jag, Monster
and Hammer stand guard outside
on the street near the fire truck.

ROMMY
What’s taking them so long?

BRICK
They better hurry up.

JAG
We’re sitting ducks out here.

MONSTER
They’ve been in there too long.
I have a bad feeling.

ROMMY
Maybe I should go in and --

Merk and Gaga walk outside,
Gaga’s head on his shoulder,
fighting back tears.

Merk looks at them.
Shakes his head.

BRICK
C’mon, let’s get the fuck outta here.

SCREAMING shatters the
still of the night.

A PACK OF WILD ZOMBIES
appears down the street,
RACING right at them.

BRICK (CONT'D)
Quick, GET ON THE TRUCK.

They all RUN to the vehicle.
JUMP on, just as
the zombies get there,
but Merk and Gaga aren’t
quite fast enough, and --

An infected GRABS Merk,
BITES into his neck.

The others PILE ON
and start EATING him.

Rommy GRABS her,
pulls her onto the truck.

Brick JAMS it in gear,
HITS the gas,
and they TAKE OFF.

The truck goes about ten feet,
then STALLS OUT. Out of gas.

BRICK
Mother-FUCKER.

The zombies finish eating Merk.
Turn and look. See them.

JAG
Holy SHIT.

ROMMY
(points)
Subway. OVER THERE --

Everyone JUMPS off the truck
and RUNS to a subway entrance.

They FLY down the steps
three at a time.

Get to the bottom.
Brick GRABS the gate.
SLAMS it shut behind them,
just as --

The zombies SMASH against it.
They SCREAM, BANG against the steel bars.

The lock STRAINS against the hasp.
Hammer turns on his flamethrower. Evil grin.

HAMMER
Time for a little barbecue --

BRICK
What about the SMOKE?

HAMMER
Heat RISES, baby --

The zombies BANG, BANG, BANG
on the bars. SCREAMING.

ROMMY
HURRY. It’s about to GIVE --

RENO
Do it. We’ll run down the tunnel.

BRICK
(nods, to Hammer)
Go ahead. Roast ’em.

HAMMER
Flaming Creatures, anyone?

He aims the blowtorch at the gate,
and a GIANT BALL OF FLAMES
SHOOTS OUT and FRIES the zombies.

They SQUEAL in pain.
CRACKLE and POP into gooey
puddles of charred flesh and bone.

And sure enough, the toxic
black smoke SHOOTS UP the stairs.

BRICK
C’mon, let’s go take the A train.

They walk toward the turnstiles.
One by one, they JUMP over them.

Head across the platform
to the subway tracks.

JAG
Monster and me will
go ahead and check it out.

MONSTER
(points to the right)
North is this way --

They JUMP down onto the tracks.
Start walking.

Jag and Monster go up ahead of them.
Gaga takes the rear. Still in shock.
Rommy puts his arm around her.

ROMMY
Hey. Are you okay?

GAGA
No, I’m NOT OKAY.
My whole family’s DEAD.

ROMMY
Well, at least you -- know.
I didn’t get a chance to --
(beat)
I don’t know if my mom and dad are --

He looks away.

GAGA
I’m so sorry --

ROMMY
And they got MERK.
He was my BEST FRIEND.

They hear the noise of wheels
WHIRRING along the rails.

BRICK
What the fuck is THAT?

A wooden HAND TRUCK appears.
Jag and Monster pumping
on each side of the handles.

JAG
Look what WE found.

MONSTER
Leave the driving to us --

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Running On Empty


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy convinces Brick and his revolutionaries to take a break from their invasion and help him find Jool to see if she's okay ...


EXT. LOWER MANHATTAN - SOHO DISTRICT - DUSK
Magic hour at the apocalypse.
The setting son flashes
gorgeous light on the windows
of the old loft buildings.

If all hell weren’t breaking loose,
it would be beautiful.

INT. FIRE TRUCK - DUSK
Brick points at the gas gage.
Looks at Gaga, then Merk
and Rommy behind them.
Shakes his head.

BRICK
We’re running on empty.
We have to figure out
how we’re gonna get uptown.

GAGA
First I want to see
if my parents are okay.

MERK
(looks at her, nods)
Yeah. Me, too.

ROMMY
Then we’ll check on mine.
And then we’re gonna go get Jool.

BRICK
Sorry, kids.
Too dangerous.
We gotta keep moving uptown.
We gotta get to the media.

ROMMY
No, goddammit.
LISTEN to me.
Here’s what we’re gonna do.
(looks at Merk)
First we’re going to
check on our parents.
(looks at Brick)
And then we’re gonna
take the subway tracks
uptown so I can get JOOL.
THEN we’ll go to the media.
GOT it?

BRICK
Are you fucking CRAZY?
The subway’s been out for YEARS --
and there’s a shitload of
homeless infecteds down there.

ROMMY
Fuck that.
We stick together,
we’ll be fine.
(low)
I NEED to see JOOL.

Brick stares at Rommy.
Gaga touches his shoulder.

GAGA
Please? Haven’t you ever
cared for someone special?

Brick looks at her.
Her liquid eyes plead with him.

He JAMS the key in the ignition.
Closes his eyes.

BRICK
Goddammit.

PUSH IN ON Rommy’s face.
Triumphant.

ROMMY
Damn straight --

Friday, April 21, 2017

Home Fires


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy's parents baricade themselves in their home against the zombie invasion. Meanwhile, Jool's uncle Carling and her nanny come to see how she's faring after being infected with the zombie virus ...


INT. ORSON’S BROWNSTONE - DAY
Orson and Clio watch the news
on TV with NODDY HOLDER (50’s),
his campaign manager.

Tall and thin with a belly.
Orson clicks the remote.
Shuts it off in disgust.

CLIO
I’m scared, Orson.

ORSON
Don’t worry.
We’ve got bars on the windows,
and the front door is solid oak.

NODDY
I have to go check on my wife --

ORSON
You heard the president.
It’s too dangerous to go outside.

NODDY
Fuck that.
My apartment’s only five blocks away,
and I’m not going to stay HERE
when my wife is in danger --

He goes to the front door.
Puts his hand on the knob.

ORSON
Noddy, no. Don’t.
You’re acting crazy.

NODDY
Then I’m crazy.

Noddy opens the door.
A HORDE OF ZOMBIES rush by
on the street outside.
He SLAMS it shut.

NODDY (CONT’D)
Holy SHIT --

Suddenly there’s a loud POUNDING on the door.

CLIO
Oh my GOD, it’s THEM --

ORSON
You stupid FUCK -- they SAW you.
Now we have to act fast.
Help me move some furniture
in front of the door.

NODDY
Okay, okay --

Orson and Noddy grab the couch.
Start moving it.

CLIO
What can I do?

ORSON
(over his shoulder)
You know that bottle of
thirty-year old scotch we’ve
been saving for a special occasion?

EXT. CARLING’S MANSION - DAY
The joint’s in lockdown.
A massive barricade of SOLDIERS
in riot gear patrol the perimeter.
A TANK is parked in front.

INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool stands with her legs apart.
Holds a pair of small barbells.

Starts to do arm curls.
Then gets dizzy. Stops.

JOOL
C’mon.
Don’t be a wimp.
You can DO it.

A KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.
The doorknob JIGGLES.

JOOL (CONT’D)
Hold on a sec --

CARLING (O.C.)
The door is LOCKED.
Why did you lock the door?

JOOL
Just a MINUTE --

She quickly hides the barbells.
Grabs the IV cart.

Attaches the tube to her arm.
Shuffles over to the door. Opens it.

Carling and Nin stand there.
Carling, livid. Nin, concerned.

CARLING
I DEMAND to know why you locked the door.

JOOL
I wanted to get some rest --
and not be disturbed.
(beat)
And I’m scared.

CARLING
Don’t worry, my child.
We have the best security there is.
No infected mutants will
get inside MY house.

JOOL
I could give a shit about the zombies.
I’m worried about HIM.

CARLING
But you’re sick, Jool.
It’s best you forget about him.

JOOL
I’ll NEVER forget about him --
and he’s never going to forget about ME.
He’s coming back to RESCUE me.

CARLING
Hush, now.
Enough silly fantasies.
Now go to bed and get some sleep,
and I’ll see you in the morning.

He leaves.
Nin comes over to the bed.

NIN
You really think he’s coming back?

JOOL
Of course he is.
I can feel it in my gut.
Always trust your gut.
It’ll never steer you wrong.

NIN
That’s my Jool.
The incurable optimist.

She smiles. Leaves the room.
Jool scratches an itch
on her nose with her finger.

Her sleeve drops.
Sees a RED LESION.

PUSH IN ON her face. Horrified.

JOOL
Oh, no --

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Escape From New York


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Jool looks out her high rise window and sees a horde of infected mutant zombies invading Manhattan ...


INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool sighs. Tucks the photo in her bag.
Then hears a LOUD NOISE outside.

Gets out of bed.
Shuffles over to the balcony.

EXT. JOOL’S BALCONY - DAY
She looks out at the view.

JOOL
Holy shit.

DOWN BELOW ON THE STREET
It’s complete bedlam.
A horde of SCREAMING ZOMBIES
run down the street
ATTACKING and EATING people.

SCREAMING GRAPHICS FLY ACROSS THE SCREEN --

EMERGENCY NEWS BULLETIN. RED ALERT.
INFECTED INVASION HITS THE REPUBLIC.

INT. NEWS STUDIO - AT THAT MOMENT
Our favorite news anchors
sit at their news desk.

Look into the camera. Grim.
Trying to hide how freaked out they are.

NOBU
We’ve just received word that
several thousand infected aliens
have entered the city --

BROCK
They gained entry through the Holland Tunnel
in lower Manhattan a short while ago --

NOBU
No word yet on how they managed to
blow a hole through the wall that
had sealed the tunnel until now --

BROCK
Everyone is advised to stay indoors,
lock all your windows and doors,
and wait for further instructions.

EXT. GOTTI PLAZA - DAY
The former Rockefeller Center.
Now the seat of power.

And where power puts its seat.
Surrounded by barricades.

Tanks. SWAT trucks.
A mini-army patrols the perimeter.

NOBU (O.C.)
We’re about to go live to
Paul David Brazill at Gotti Plaza,
where the president is
having a press conference.
(touches her earpiece)
Are you there, Paul?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. GOTTI PLAZA - PRESS ROOM - DAY
A gaggle of REPORTERS sit
packed like sardines, waiting.

Standing off to the side
is PAUL DAVID BRAZILL (40’s),
dark-haired, wearing glasses.
Very Peter Sellers.

PAUL
I am indeed, Nobu.
The air is filled with tension
as the members of the fourth estate
wait for the president
to arrive and make a statement --

NOBU
So I guess it’s pretty tense
there right now, huh?

Paul does a ‘take.’ Frowns.
Shakes his head. Then lights up.

PAUL
Here’s the president now --

PRESIDENT DON GOTTI (50’s) appears.
Slick, big-chested. Fancy suit.
The spitting image of his grandfather.

PRESIDENT GOTTI
Ladies and gentlemen of the press,
we are under attack by
infected rabid zombies.
I have directed our troops to use
all our resources to fight this
plague against our great republic.
(quiet, intense)
We ask everyone to stay inside,
and do NOT panic.
We have the situation under control.
There will be no questions. That’s all.

He turns to go. But the reporters
start waiving their hands.
Clamoring for his attention.

PRESIDENT GOTTI (CONT'D)
What part of NO QUESTIONS
didn’t you fuck-heads GET?
Now go cover the fucking INVASION
if you know what’s GOOD for you.
(low)
Or else you gonna sleep with the zombies.

INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool turns off the TV.
Eyes wide as saucers.

JOOL
He IS coming back --
with the INVASION.

She slowly gets out of bed.
Stands. Weaves a little.

Unhooks the IV.
Goes to the door. Locks it.
Looks at the window.

JOOL (CONT'D)
Gotta build my strength.
Get the hell out of here
and find him. He’s coming back.
I KNOW it. I just know it.

Monday, April 17, 2017

A Great Time


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, quarantined with the zombie virus in bed at home, Jool reminisces about meeting Rommy at the street fair and how sad they both were to say 'good bye' ...


INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool lies in bed,
staring at a picture.
Deep in thought.

EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE - STREET FAIR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
The fair is ending.
People are cleaning up.

Rommy and Jool stand on
a street corner holding hands.
They both look sad.

JOOL
She was killed before you
had a chance to make love?

ROMMY
I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have --
(beat)
Talking about the ex
on the first date.
Definite no-no.

JOOL
At least you had
someone you wanted to --
(sighs)
I always scare them off.

She looks down.
Bites her lip.

ROMMY
Hey. Wait a minute.
This is great.
We’ve got something in common.
My first girlfriend, your parents.
We could start a support group.
Adult Survivors of Zombie Abuse.
She laughs despite herself.
Looks up. Points at his shirt.

JOOL
You got ice cream on your --

ROMMY
(looks)
Whoops. Can’t tell
if it’s Ben or Jerry.

Pause.

JOOL
(softly)
I really had a great time.

ROMMY
So did I.
A great time.
What a concept.
Been awhile.
I could get used to it.

JOOL
I don’t want to go.

ROMMY
Then don’t go.

JOOL
I have to.
My uncle is going
to KILL me.

ROMMY
I’ll come see you.

JOOL
Soon?

ROMMY
Soon.
(beat)
Real soon.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Escape From New Jersey


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy, Merk, Brick and the revolutionaries successfully smash through the walled Republic of Manhattan ... while being followed by a horde of screaming, rabid infected mutants ...


ON THE FIRE TRUCK
Brick lights a big cigar.

BRICK
C’mon, kids. Let’s go take a
bite out of the rotten apple.

He JAMS the truck into gear.
Starts heading toward the tunnel.

Jag drives the missile launcher next to him.
The engine SPUTTERS and COUGHS.
Then dies. Brick stops.

BRICK (CONT’D)
What’s wrong?

JAG
Outta gas.

BRICK
Everybody get on the truck. HURRY.

Jag, Reno, Monster and Hammer JUMP
off the missile launcher.
SCRAMBLE onto the fire truck.

BRICK (CONT'D)
Let’s MOVE OUT --

Brick starts driving.
Reno sees something behind them.

RENO
There’s more coming. STEP ON IT.

Everyone looks, sees --

IN THE DISTANCE

Another wave of zombies fills the skyline.
There’s gotta be A THOUSAND of ‘em.
Scary shit. Brick HIS the gas. Yells out --

BRICK
Get ready with the HOSES.

Jag and Reno each grab a FIRE HOSE.
Monster climbs over to the side near the pump.
The truck ROARS into the tunnel.

IN THE TUNNEL
The fire truck HAULS ASS.
Headlights BLAZING in the darkness.

OUTSIDE THE TUNNEL
The wave of zombies reaches the entrance.
Start POURING IN.

IN THE TUNNEL
Brick drives like a maniac.
Sees ABANDONED VEHICLES up ahead.

BRICK (CONT’D)
Shit, shit, shit --

MERK
Just plow into ‘em.
The truck’ll fuck ‘em UP.

BRICK
Here goes nothing --

ROMMY
Omigod, we’re all gonna DIE.

Rommy DUCKS DOWN just as the fire truck
SMASHES through a cluster of cars -- BANG.
Metal and debris goes FLYING.

BEHIND THEM IN THE TUNNEL
A wave of ZOMBIES fill the roadway
like spiders on speed.

SCREAMING, CHATTERING, SCRABBLING
down the pavement.

ON THE FIRE TRUCK
Reno cocks her head. Hears them coming.

RENO
Zombies APPROACHING. Get ready --

Jag and Reno brace themselves. Aim their hoses.
THE ZOMBIES get closer. See them. Go NUTS.

JAG
Gimme UNLEADED, baby --

Monster FLIPS on the pump.
Gasoline SPRAYS out the hoses.

Jag and Reno SHOOT them with gas.
The mutants fall back, SCREAMING.

Their skin BUBBLES into a WHITE MIST.
They HIT the ground and DISSOLVE
into a gooey puddles of pulp and bones.

But the infected behind them keep coming.
Jag and Reno hit THEM with gasoline,
and they go down.

But more and more keep coming.
Reno turns to Jag. Yells --

RENO
There’s TOO MANY OF ‘EM --

JAG
Keep SPRAYING --

IN THE TRUCK
Brick keeps driving like a maniac.
SMASHES into another car.

Rommy BOUNCES around in the back.
Freaking out.

SIDE POV
We see the fire truck
FLYING down the tunnel.

SMASHING into abandoned cars,
the zombies right behind them.

They get HOSED, EXPLODE, and
another wave takes its place.

ON THE TRUCK
The hoses stop spraying.
Jag and Reno look at each other.

JAG (CONT'D)
We’re outta GAS --

IN THE TRUCK
Brick JAMS his foot on the gas.
The truck LURCHES forward.

ON THE TRUCK
The zombies reach the rear end.
Start climbing on.

BRICK
Sees them in the rear view mirror.

BRICK
JAG. SHOOT the fuckers --

Jag pulls out an Uzi and SPRAYS
them with machine gun fire.

As each gets HIT,
they EXPLODE IN A GREEN MIST.

EXT. HOLLAND TUNNEL ENTRANCE - DAY
The fire truck FLIES out of
the tunnel, trailing zombies.

INT. FIRE TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Brick GRABS the steering wheel --

BRICK
Hold onto your tits --

And SWERVES into a hard right.

EXT. MANHATTAN - VARICK STREET - CONTINUOUS
The truck’s cab turns north.
The rear end JERKS forward
with centrifugal force, and
the zombies hanging on GO FLYING.

Then JERKS to the right into an alley.
SCREECHES to a stop.

IN THE TRUCK
Everyone watches a new wave of zombies
come ROARING DOWN THE STREET
behind them in the distance.
They all exhale.

BRICK
God-DAMMIT.
(to Jag)
How much ammo do we have left?

JAG
One more clip. That’s it.

ROMMY
Cowers in a corner.
Pulls a snapshot out.
Stares at it.

THE PHOTO
Is a Polaroid taken at the street fair.
It’s a close-up of Jool. Holding a
large, multi-colored ice cream cone.
Big grin. Eyes filled with lust.

ROMMY
Puts it back in his pocket.
Blinks back tears.

ROMMY
(whispers)
Don’t worry, Jool. I’m coming.
(beat)
Even if it kills me --

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Z-Day


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Brick, Romy, Merk, Gaga and the revolutionaries blast their way into the Republic of Manhattan ... while being chased by a rabid hoard of zombies ...


EXT. HOLLAND TUNNEL ENTRANCE - DAY
A big, long red fire truck
and a missile launcher drive
side-by-side toward the
walled-up opening of the tunnel.

They pass through the
empty toll booths. Then stop.

IN THE FIRE TRUCK
We see Brick behind the wheel.
Gaga rides shotgun.

Rommy and Merk sit in the back.
Searching the skyline with binoculars.

MERK
See anything yet?

ROMMY
No. You?

MERK
Not yet.
(beat)
Don’t be scared.
This is going to work.

ROMMY
I’m not scared.

MERK
Then why are your hands shaking?

ROMMY
Fuck you. I’m cold.

IN THE MISSILE LAUNCHER
We see Jag behind the wheel.
Reno in the passenger seat.
Monster and Hammer sit in the back.

IN THE FIRE TRUCK
Brick leans out the window.
Yells toward the back.

BRICK
Status report?

HAMMER
Coast is clear --

MERK
(looks through binoculars)
Hold on. I think I see something.

ROMMY
(sees it, too)
Oh my god --

IN THE DISTANCE
A pack of a hundred RABID ZOMBIES
is RUNNING toward them.

SLOBBERING, SPITTING, SCREAMING.
Scary as SHIT.

IN THE FIRE TRUCK
BRICK
(yells at Jag)
Prepare to FIRE.

ON THE MISSILE LAUNCHER
Jag yells at the team in the back.

JAG
Prepare to FIRE.

Monster nods.
Gets ready to flip a switch.

MONSTER
READY, sir --

IN THE DISTANCE
The pack of zombies gets closer.

IN THE FIRE TRUCK
Brick nods. Yells at Monster.

BRICK
FIRE MISSILE.

ON THE MISSILE LAUNCHER
Monster FLIPS a switch -- and BANG,
the rocket TAKES OFF
in a CLOUD OF SMOKE --
and ROARS toward the tunnel.

IN THE DISTANCE
The zombies slow down a bit.
Watch the missile.

EXT. TUNNEL ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS
The missile ZOOMS toward the
walled-up tunnel entrance,
then SMASHES through it, BOOM.
Bricks and cement go FLYING.

ROMMY
Watches. Open-mouthed.

IN THE TUNNEL
The rocket ROARS through it
trailing a BLAZE OF EXHAUST.

EXT. LOWER MANHATTAN - HOLLAND TUNNEL EXIT - CONTINUOUS
The rocket SMASHES through the
tunnel exit on the other side.

ROARS into Tribeca.
People SCREAM and JUMP out of the way.

It veers to the left and
CRASHES into a loft building,
which EXPLODES in a big,
black cloud of SMOKE AND DEBRIS.

ON THE OTHER SIDE
The zombies see the opening.
Smell more uninfected human
flesh on the other side.
Start RUNNING toward it -- and them.

ON THE FIRE TRUCK
Brick lights a big cigar.

BRICK
C’mon, kids. Let’s go take
a bite out of the rotten apple.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Safe House


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after being infected with the HIZ 'zombie virus,' conservative Jool is quarantined at home, where she fights with her uncle about her forbidden love of the liberal Rommy ...


INT. CARLING’S MANSION - JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool lies in bed with an IV drip
surrounded by a quarantine tent.

A series of monitors and equipment
monitor her condition.

Carling and Nin
stand nearby, distraught.

A distinguished-looking
DOCTOR IN WHITE (60’s)
checks her vitals on a clipboard.

Then checks under the bandage
on her face. Nods. Makes some notes.

JOOL
Why do I have to stay in bed?
I don’t feel THAT bad --

CARLING
It’s for your own good, my darling.

JOOL
And what’s up with the quarantine?
I’m not contagious. You can’t
get the virus by touching me --

DOCTOR IN WHITE
I’m sorry, young lady --
but we need to take
every precaution necessary.
(to Carling)
Her vitals have stabilized.
But she needs to stay
in bed and rest.

CARLING
Isn’t there anything else
you can do?

DOCTOR IN WHITE
I’m sorry, I’m afraid not.
All we can do is make her
as comfortable as possible.

CARLING
But that can’t BE.
Don’t you have any experimental
drugs you can give her?

DOCTOR IN WHITE
No. Not since the government
stopped funding research --
(sighs)
God bless us all.

NIN
Well, I don’t care
what any of you say,
I’m going to stay here
and keep her company.
We can’t just leave her alone.

CARLING
I’m not sure that’s a good
idea, Nin. She’s VERY sick.

JOOL
Stop talking to her
like I’m NOT HERE.

CARLING
I’m only doing this
because I love you, Jool.
You’re my only niece.
And we need to make sure
the virus is -- contained.

JOOL
What part of ‘it’s not contagious’
don’t you GET? It’s only
transmitted through THE BLOOD.

DOCTOR IN WHITE
Well, the jury’s
not out on that yet --

Jool eyes fill with rage.

JOOL
At least there’s ONE good thing
about me getting infected.

CARLING
What on earth do you MEAN?

JOOL
Now I don’t have to marry
that fucking pretty boy LAME-ASS.

NIN
Jool --

CARLING
What have I TOLD you
about using the F-word?

JOOL
FUCK you.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.
(hisses)
You DISGUST me.
I HATE you.
You’re not my FATHER.
He was KIND.
You’re a MONSTER.

Nin nods at Carling. Go.
I’ll take care of this.

He turns ashen-faced. Nods.
Turns and walks out.
The doctor follows.

NIN
Don’t you think you were
a little harsh on your uncle?

JOOL
I wasn’t harsh ENOUGH.

NIN
What were you doing in Time Square?

JOOL
I was meeting Rommy. We were --
(beat)
Going run away together.

NIN
So what happened?

JOOL
I -- don’t know.
He wasn’t there.
He must of -- gotten infected.
(beat)
And now he’s GONE --

Friday, April 7, 2017

Welcome To The Jungle


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after Rommy gets ejected from the republic of Manhattan after getting infected with the zombie virus, he finds the revolutionaries' headquarters in the burnt-out ruins of New Jersey, where he's reunited with his BFF Merk and his sister Gaga ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY - BURNT-OUT WATERFRONT - DAY
Rommy comes TEARING ASS down the street
pursued by a HORDE of DROOLING, RABID ZOMBIES.
They’re getting closer and closer.

He gets to an intersection,
DASHES around the corner.

DUCKS into a dark doorway.
The zombies FLY BY.

Breathes a sigh of relief.
Peeks out. Sees they’re gone.

ROMMY
(whispers)
Holy shit.

Looks around.
Doesn’t know what to do.

Then hears something.
Puts his ear to the door.

INT. BOARDED-UP CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
Everyone sits around the big table.
Brick and Merk are examining a large map.

BRICK
A fire truck?

MERK
Yeah. It’s a few blocks away.
We fill the water tank with gas.
Spray the fuckers.

BRICK
Nice.
So then with the missile launcher,
we’ll have a real convoy --

MERK
How much gas do you have?

BRICK
Well, it takes each of us about a week
to scavenge a couple of gallons from
old cars and the occasional gas station.
We probably have enough in our reserves
to fill the water tank about half-way.
And then we’ll need enough in the
gas tank to get us into the republic.
(to Monster)
How much gas is in the missile launcher?

MONSTER
We’re good.

BRICK
And Jag’s got the Uzi in case of an emergency --
(to Jag)
How much ammo you got left?

JAG
Two clips.

A KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK on the door.

RENO
Someone’s at the door --

JAG
I got it.

He goes to the door.
Opens a peephole. Looks. Turns around.

JAG (CONT’D)
It’s a young kid. Looks newly infected.

BRICK
Let him in --

Jag undoes a series of dead-bolts.
Opens the door.

Rommy walks in. Looking relieved.
Breathes a sigh of relief.

ROMMY
Ohmigod, thanks.
I was being chased by a bunch of --
(sees Merk)
MERK?

MERK
ROMMY?

Merk rushes over to him. They hug.

BRICK
Check out the bromance.

MERK
What the fuck HAPPENED?

ROMMY
Jool and I were gonna run away together.
We were gonna meet in Times Square,
but I got infected before she got there, and --
(sighs)
My life is over.
Could one of you just shoot me?
(sees Gaga)
GAGA?

GAGA
(waves)
Hey, there. Welcome to the jungle.
We’ve got fun and games.

Rommy looks at everybody. Realizes.

ROMMY
Wait a minute. The vaccine --

MERK
Yeah, it works.
We’re all back to normal.
Whatever THAT means --

ROMMY
Do you have any more?

MERK
No, I’m sorry. But I can make some.

ROMMY
How soon?

MERK
Well, first we have to invade the republic.
Then we can find a chemistry lab.

ROMMY
How in the hell are you going to
INVADE the republic?

MERK
Have a seat. We’ll fill you in.

ROMMY
You have a plan?

BRICK
Does a zombie shit in the woods?

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

The Time Square Massacre


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, we see a late-breaking news report announcing the president has signed into law a 'shoot on sight' decree targeting citizens who have become infected with the 'HIZ' zombie virus ...


INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
Brock Landers sits at
his desk with Nobu Phillips.

But this time,
they aren’t smiling.

NOBU
A late-breaking bulletin
just came in --

BROCK
The president has just
signed into law the controversial
Shoot On Sight bill that has
been the subject of fierce debate
amongst our republic’s lawmakers --

NOBU
As of today, anyone who is
infected with the HIZ Virus
will be shot on sight.
The state police are right now
sweeping Times Square and have
already killed several
dozen infected citizens.
(sighs)
I don’t know how
I feel about this, Brock.
Isn’t it kind of barbaric?

BROCK
Gosh, Nobu, I don’t know.
But heck, we’re not supposed
to offer our opinion.
We’re just here to read the news.

NOBU
I know.
And that’s another thing.
I could write my own stories,
but they won’t let me.

BROCK
Aw, gee whiz.
Is it that time
of the month again?
(into the camera)
We’ll bring you more
on this late-breaking
story as it unfolds.
We now return you
to our regularly
scheduled programming.

NOBU
(leans over, whispers)
Brock.
This IS our regularly
scheduled programming.

Brock clears his throat.
Looks at the Teleprompter.

BROCK
We now take you to
our man on the street,
Paul David Brazill,
live on the scene,
where chaos has
erupted in midtown --

NOBU
In what the media
is now calling
'The Times Square Massacre.'

BROCK
Nice.

NOBU
See?
I told you I could write --

Thursday, March 30, 2017

World War Z


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Jool's uncle discovers to his horror that she's been infected with the zombie virus. Meanwhile, Rommy's parents learn that he's also been infected and is being ejected from the republic ...


INT. CARLING’S MANSION - OFFICE - DAY
A giant room. Stately. Elegant.
Walls full of books.

A roaring fireplace.
Right out of Masterpiece Theater.

Carling sits behind his desk.
Nin stands in front of him.

NIN
Still no word?

CARLING
No. And I’m worried sick.
My darling niece is MISSING.
I’ve got a whole squadron
out there looking for her.
Are you SURE you have
no idea where she went?

NIN
No, I’m sorry --

FOOTSTEPS in the next room.
They both turn, look -- see --

Jool stands in the doorway.
Clothes torn and dirty.

Face scratched and bloody.
Skin a dull green.

JOOL
I don’t feel so good.

PUSH IN ON Carling’s face. Freaked out.

CARLING
My god, you’re INFECTED.
Quick, Nin -- CALL THE DOCTOR.

INT. MONT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY
Orson sits at the kitchen table
with his wife CLIO (40’s), Rommy’s mother.

Attractive, bohemian in denim.
They both look haunted. Lost.
Clio pours more coffee in their cups.

CLIO
I just don’t understand why he’d --
run away like that.

ORSON
I bet it had something to do
with that Kapp girl.

CLIO
But didn’t you tell him
he couldn’t see her anymore?

ORSON
Yes, I did.
But you know young love --

CLIO
(sad smile)
I seem to have a dim memory of it --

The phone RINGS.
Orson gets up. Answers it.

ORSON
This is Orson --
(listens)
WHAT? But that’s IMPOSSIBLE --
(listens)
But that’s my SON.
You can’t just --
(listens)
Hello? Hello? HELLO?

He BANGS down the phone.
Clio starts shaking with fear.

ORSON (CONT’D)
He HUNG UP on me --

CLIO
Wh-what happened? Where’s Rommy?

ORSON
Rommy got infected.
He’s being ejected from the republic.

CLIO
Oh, NO. My BABY.

Clio SHRIEKS with horror.
Buries her face in her hands.
Starts sobbing.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

We Shall Overcome


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Merk huddles with Brick Cosmo and his revolutionaries to plans their sneak attack on the Republic of Manhattan ...


INT. BOARDED-UP CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Brick and the gang sit around a big
plywood table set up in the back of the store.

Everyone has had injections of the vaccine
and are now healed. Healthy-looking.

MONSTER
(stares at Reno)
I haven’t felt this good in a LONG time.
I’ve actually got WOOD.

RENO
Keep it in your pants, buster.
You know I only eat fish.

BRICK
Settle down, children.
We’ve got serious business to discuss.

HAMMER
What’s that?

BRICK
Well, now that we’re well, we
need to rethink our plan of attack.

JAG
Good point.

MERK
What do you need to rethink?

BRICK
Well, the original plan was to
blow a hole through the walled-up tunnel,
and then the zombies, smelling clean,
uninfected flesh, would invade the island
and kill everybody --
(beat)
Which now would include us.

MERK
How were you going to blow
a hole in the tunnel?

RENO
We got us a surface-to-air missile
in a garage down the street.

MERK
Where did you get that?

JAG
Nearby military base was having
a fire sale. Literally.

MERK
I think your plan can still work.

BRICK
Yeah?

MERK
Sure. We blow a hole in the tunnel
and go in BEFORE them.

BRICK
But they’ll follow us --

MERK
So we kill ‘em.

BRICK
But they’ll be another wave behind them.
And another, and another --

MERK
Yeah, but once we get through, we’ve
got all of Manhattan to hide.

HAMMER
Yeah. And it’ll be complete bedlam.

MERK
And then all we’ve gotta do is get to
the media uptown so they can spread the word
about the vaccine. We’ll be heroes --

MONSTER
The man’s a genius --

GAGA
Told you he was smart.

BRICK
All in favor?

Everyone raises their hands.

MERK
I’m really starting to get into
this revolutionary thing.

RENO
People have the POWER.

MONSTER
United we CAN.

JAG
We shall OVERCOME.

HAMMER
Give me liberty, or give me DEATH.

GAGA
Liberty, equality, FRATERNITY.

BRICK
Let freedom RING.

Everyone looks at Merk expectantly.

MERK
(sings)
You say you want a revolution, well you know,
we all want to change the world --

Monday, March 27, 2017

Super-Size It


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, the shit hits the fan when Rommy goes to Times Square to meet Jool and run away with her ... and tangles with the newly-infected undead ...


EXT. TIMES SQUARE - DAY
Rommy stands in front of what
used to be the Disney Store.

Most of the signage is gone.
Now reads ‘Di_sey S_ore.’

And, underneath it, HOT LESBIAN NURSES
in flashing red neon.

A crowd of HOMELESS PEOPLE, HOOKERS and
various other FREAKS parade past him
like something out of a John Waters film.

ROMMY
(sings softly to himself)
Everybody wants some,
I want some TOO --

A VICIOUS-LOOKING HOMELESS MAN
IN RAGS approaches him.

ROMMY (CONT’D)
Everybody wants some, how ‘bout YOU?
(sees him, steps back)
Excuse me.

VICIOUS-LOOKING HOMELESS MAN IN RAGS
Hungry. Need to -- EAT.

Rommy pulls out some change.
Offers it to him.

ROMMY
Here you go --

But Vicious-Looking ignores it.
He GRABS Rommy’s arm, YANKS it
to his mouth and CHOMPS on it.
Blood SQUIRTS in the air.

ROMMY (CONT’D)
OW, HEY --

Suddenly Vicious-Looking’s head
EXPLODES IN A RED MIST,
drenching Rommy with blood and goo.

A pair of COMMANDOS IN BLACK
appear out of nowhere with shotguns.

Watch Vicious-Looking’s
body crumple into a heap.

ROMMY (CONT’D)
Holy SHIT.

The Taller Commando pulls out a scanner.
Waves it across Rommy.

It VIBRATES and HUMS.
He reads the meter.

TALLER COMMANDO
Infection level three.

BULKY COMMANDO
Already? DAMN.
Let’s bag ‘em, Marko.

ROMMY
Bag ‘em? No, WAIT.
I’m waiting for my --

In the blink of an eye Taller
WHIPS OUT a giant black body bag
from his backpack --
and Bulky SHOVES Rommy into it.

ROMMY (CONT'D)
(muffled screams)
Hey, let me OUT OF HERE.
You can’t DO this.
I’m supposed to meet my --

Marko PUNCHES the bag --
THWUMP. Silence.

MARKO
Don’t get mad. Get Glad.

BULKY COMMANDO
(looks at his watch)
Let’s drop him off right away.
If we hurry, we’ll have time
for a meat log afterward --

And they carry him away.
Just then Jool appears.
Out of breath.

She scans the passing
crowd of filth. No Rommy.
She looks at her watch. Puzzled.

JOOL
Where IS he?

A DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS
OBESE BAG LADY passes by.
Stops. Smells Jool.

Her hideous, deformed,
face a rictus of death.

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Mmm. Someone smells -- clean.

JOOL
(starts backing away)
Stay AWAY from me --

Disgusting gets in her face.
Pushes her into an alcove.

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Is that SOFT SOAP?

JOOL
I said GET AWAY FROM ME --

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Wanna NECK?

Jool LASHES out at her, SWIPES
her nails across Disgusting’s face.

Disgusting SCREAMS, RAKES
hers across Jool’s face.

Jool HEAD-BUTTS Disgusting, who
REELS back. Momentarily stunned.

Another PAIR OF COMMANDOS
appears and GRABS Disgusting.
One of them waves a scanner over her.

REPULSED COMMANDO
Holy fucking SHIT.
Infection level SIX.

Jool slides around them.
Then RUNS away.

FREAKED-OUT COMMANDO
Piece of shit’s gonna
turn ANY MINUTE.

The commandos pull out ASSAULT RIFLES.
Stand back. Aim their weapons at Disgusting --
just as she starts MORPHING into a
hideous, screeching, chattering ZOMBIE.

They OPEN FIRE and SHRED the
repulsive creature into a frappe’
of blood, bones, puss, brains and goo.

REPULSED COMMANDO
Talk about super-sized --

FREAKED-OUT COMMANDO
I’m gonna get sick.
(realizes)
Hey. Where’d the girl go?

REPULSED COMMANDO
Fuck it.
I’m not chasing after her.
They don’t pay us enough.
(looks at the mess)
I mean look, now we gotta
CLEAN UP this shit --

Friday, March 24, 2017

Night Of The Living Fuck


Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Merk finds his long-lost infected sister Gaga, who is holed up with the anti-republic revolutionaries in the wilds of New Jersey, and finally gets a chance to see if his zombie virus vaccine works ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY WATERFRONT - STREET CORNER - NIGHT
Merk walks down the street looking
at the ruins, the decay, the rubble.
Shakes his head sadly.

MERK
'New Jersey and you, perfect together.'
(beat)
Not.
(hears something)
What’s that?

He stops in front of the
boarded-up convenience store.

Puts his ear against the plywood
covering what used to be
one of the windows. Listens.

INT. BOARDED-UP CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Brick, Reno, Monster, Hammer and Jag are
quietly hammering nails into pieces of wood
to cover the holes that the zombies
made during the attack.

It’s a rather odd sight, really, seeing
someone trying to hammer slowly. Softly.

Gaga looks through a peephole in the wall.
Keeping an eye on what’s going on outside.

GAGA
I don’t fucking BELIEVE it.

BRICK
What?

GAGA
My BROTHER is out there --

RENO
The one with the vaccine?

GAGA
Yeah.

BRICK
Then LET HIM IN --

Gaga slides back a two-by-four
dead bolt across the door.

Then slowly opens the door.
Merk stands there. In shock.

MERK
Gaga?

GAGA
MERK --

MERK
I can’t believe I found you -- so quickly.

GAGA
Get your ass IN HERE.

He comes in. She shuts and locks the door. They hug.
Brick walks up to Merk. Offers his hand. They shake.

BRICK
The name’s Brick. Brick Cosmo.
I’m the leader of this here revolutionary cell.

MERK
(looks around the room, nods)
Cool. Cool.
(beat)
Kind of a small cell --

BRICK
Well, there used to be about a hundred of us,
but most of our troops got wiped out
in The Battle Of The Meadowlands.

We then decided to set up camp near
where the newly-infected get dropped off.

Figured that would be the
easiest way to increase our ranks.

That’s why you found us so quickly.
Not too shabby, eh?

MERK
Got it --

BRICK
Your sister tells us you’ve
got a vaccine for the virus.

MERK
I do, but I haven’t tested it yet.

RENO
(suspicious)
Why didn’t you test it on yourself?

MERK
I’m not infected.

GAGA
You mean you left the republic to --

MERK
Hey. You’re my sister.

BRICK
How much do you have?

MERK
Enough for all of you.

BRICK
Then let’s get this show on the road
and see if this shit works.

Merk shrugs out of his backpack.
Opens one of the compartments.
Pulls out a small medical bag.

MERK
It worked on the lab rats --
(looks at Gaga)
Don’t worry. They only bad reaction
would be getting the virus,
which you already have.

GAGA
Okay --

She sits.
Watches him prepare the injection.

He wipes her arm with an alcohol swab.
SQUIRTS the needle.

MERK
Just relax. This won’t hurt a bit.

She nods. Closes her eyes.
He taps lightly on her forearm.
Finds a vein. Injects her. She flinches.

MERK (CONT'D)
Okay. Give it a few minutes --
(to Brick)
So what was The Battle Of The Meadowlands?

BRICK
We were having our first rally.
You know, getting organized.
It was really trippy, like
out of a John Carpenter movie --

MERK
Who’s John Carpenter?

BRICK
Not important. Anyway, there were
a couple hundred SERIOUSLY infected
living in the bowels of the stadium,
I mean, we’re talking full-on
Night Of The Living FUCK.
It was Twenty-Eight YEARS Later-time.

GAGA
Merk, MERK. LOOK --

Gaga holds up her hand.
The swelling and discoloration is gone.

Her face looks normal, too.
She beams with happiness.

MERK
It worked. It WORKED.

BRICK
(starts rolling up his sleeve)
Holy SHIT. You’re a fucking genius.

PUSH IN ON Merk. Smiling.
Holding up the syringe.

MERK
Hey. Friends DO
let friends share needles --