Friday, April 21, 2017

Home Fires


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy's parents baricade themselves in their home against the zombie invasion. Meanwhile, Jool's uncle Carling and her nanny come to see how she's faring after being infected with the zombie virus ...


INT. ORSON’S BROWNSTONE - DAY
Orson and Clio watch the news
on TV with NODDY HOLDER (50’s),
his campaign manager.

Tall and thin with a belly.
Orson clicks the remote.
Shuts it off in disgust.

CLIO
I’m scared, Orson.

ORSON
Don’t worry.
We’ve got bars on the windows,
and the front door is solid oak.

NODDY
I have to go check on my wife --

ORSON
You heard the president.
It’s too dangerous to go outside.

NODDY
Fuck that.
My apartment’s only five blocks away,
and I’m not going to stay HERE
when my wife is in danger --

He goes to the front door.
Puts his hand on the knob.

ORSON
Noddy, no. Don’t.
You’re acting crazy.

NODDY
Then I’m crazy.

Noddy opens the door.
A HORDE OF ZOMBIES rush by
on the street outside.
He SLAMS it shut.

NODDY (CONT’D)
Holy SHIT --

Suddenly there’s a loud POUNDING on the door.

CLIO
Oh my GOD, it’s THEM --

ORSON
You stupid FUCK -- they SAW you.
Now we have to act fast.
Help me move some furniture
in front of the door.

NODDY
Okay, okay --

Orson and Noddy grab the couch.
Start moving it.

CLIO
What can I do?

ORSON
(over his shoulder)
You know that bottle of
thirty-year old scotch we’ve
been saving for a special occasion?

EXT. CARLING’S MANSION - DAY
The joint’s in lockdown.
A massive barricade of SOLDIERS
in riot gear patrol the perimeter.
A TANK is parked in front.

INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool stands with her legs apart.
Holds a pair of small barbells.

Starts to do arm curls.
Then gets dizzy. Stops.

JOOL
C’mon.
Don’t be a wimp.
You can DO it.

A KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK at the door.
The doorknob JIGGLES.

JOOL (CONT’D)
Hold on a sec --

CARLING (O.C.)
The door is LOCKED.
Why did you lock the door?

JOOL
Just a MINUTE --

She quickly hides the barbells.
Grabs the IV cart.

Attaches the tube to her arm.
Shuffles over to the door. Opens it.

Carling and Nin stand there.
Carling, livid. Nin, concerned.

CARLING
I DEMAND to know why you locked the door.

JOOL
I wanted to get some rest --
and not be disturbed.
(beat)
And I’m scared.

CARLING
Don’t worry, my child.
We have the best security there is.
No infected mutants will
get inside MY house.

JOOL
I could give a shit about the zombies.
I’m worried about HIM.

CARLING
But you’re sick, Jool.
It’s best you forget about him.

JOOL
I’ll NEVER forget about him --
and he’s never going to forget about ME.
He’s coming back to RESCUE me.

CARLING
Hush, now.
Enough silly fantasies.
Now go to bed and get some sleep,
and I’ll see you in the morning.

He leaves.
Nin comes over to the bed.

NIN
You really think he’s coming back?

JOOL
Of course he is.
I can feel it in my gut.
Always trust your gut.
It’ll never steer you wrong.

NIN
That’s my Jool.
The incurable optimist.

She smiles. Leaves the room.
Jool scratches an itch
on her nose with her finger.

Her sleeve drops.
Sees a RED LESION.

PUSH IN ON her face. Horrified.

JOOL
Oh, no --

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Escape From New York


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Jool looks out her high rise window and sees a horde of infected mutant zombies invading Manhattan ...


INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool sighs. Tucks the photo in her bag.
Then hears a LOUD NOISE outside.

Gets out of bed.
Shuffles over to the balcony.

EXT. JOOL’S BALCONY - DAY
She looks out at the view.

JOOL
Holy shit.

DOWN BELOW ON THE STREET
It’s complete bedlam.
A horde of SCREAMING ZOMBIES
run down the street
ATTACKING and EATING people.

SCREAMING GRAPHICS FLY ACROSS THE SCREEN --

EMERGENCY NEWS BULLETIN. RED ALERT.
INFECTED INVASION HITS THE REPUBLIC.

INT. NEWS STUDIO - AT THAT MOMENT
Our favorite news anchors
sit at their news desk.

Look into the camera. Grim.
Trying to hide how freaked out they are.

NOBU
We’ve just received word that
several thousand infected aliens
have entered the city --

BROCK
They gained entry through the Holland Tunnel
in lower Manhattan a short while ago --

NOBU
No word yet on how they managed to
blow a hole through the wall that
had sealed the tunnel until now --

BROCK
Everyone is advised to stay indoors,
lock all your windows and doors,
and wait for further instructions.

EXT. GOTTI PLAZA - DAY
The former Rockefeller Center.
Now the seat of power.

And where power puts its seat.
Surrounded by barricades.

Tanks. SWAT trucks.
A mini-army patrols the perimeter.

NOBU (O.C.)
We’re about to go live to
Paul David Brazill at Gotti Plaza,
where the president is
having a press conference.
(touches her earpiece)
Are you there, Paul?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. GOTTI PLAZA - PRESS ROOM - DAY
A gaggle of REPORTERS sit
packed like sardines, waiting.

Standing off to the side
is PAUL DAVID BRAZILL (40’s),
dark-haired, wearing glasses.
Very Peter Sellers.

PAUL
I am indeed, Nobu.
The air is filled with tension
as the members of the fourth estate
wait for the president
to arrive and make a statement --

NOBU
So I guess it’s pretty tense
there right now, huh?

Paul does a ‘take.’ Frowns.
Shakes his head. Then lights up.

PAUL
Here’s the president now --

PRESIDENT DON GOTTI (50’s) appears.
Slick, big-chested. Fancy suit.
The spitting image of his grandfather.

PRESIDENT GOTTI
Ladies and gentlemen of the press,
we are under attack by
infected rabid zombies.
I have directed our troops to use
all our resources to fight this
plague against our great republic.
(quiet, intense)
We ask everyone to stay inside,
and do NOT panic.
We have the situation under control.
There will be no questions. That’s all.

He turns to go. But the reporters
start waiving their hands.
Clamoring for his attention.

PRESIDENT GOTTI (CONT'D)
What part of NO QUESTIONS
didn’t you fuck-heads GET?
Now go cover the fucking INVASION
if you know what’s GOOD for you.
(low)
Or else you gonna sleep with the zombies.

INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool turns off the TV.
Eyes wide as saucers.

JOOL
He IS coming back --
with the INVASION.

She slowly gets out of bed.
Stands. Weaves a little.

Unhooks the IV.
Goes to the door. Locks it.
Looks at the window.

JOOL (CONT'D)
Gotta build my strength.
Get the hell out of here
and find him. He’s coming back.
I KNOW it. I just know it.

Monday, April 17, 2017

A Great Time


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In Chapter 22 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, quarantined with the zombie virus in bed at home, Jool reminisces about meeting Rommy at the street fair and how sad they both were to say 'good bye' ...


INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool lies in bed,
staring at a picture.
Deep in thought.

EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE - STREET FAIR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
The fair is ending.
People are cleaning up.

Rommy and Jool stand on
a street corner holding hands.
They both look sad.

JOOL
She was killed before you
had a chance to make love?

ROMMY
I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have --
(beat)
Talking about the ex
on the first date.
Definite no-no.

JOOL
At least you had
someone you wanted to --
(sighs)
I always scare them off.

She looks down.
Bites her lip.

ROMMY
Hey. Wait a minute.
This is great.
We’ve got something in common.
My first girlfriend, your parents.
We could start a support group.
Adult Survivors of Zombie Abuse.
She laughs despite herself.
Looks up. Points at his shirt.

JOOL
You got ice cream on your --

ROMMY
(looks)
Whoops. Can’t tell
if it’s Ben or Jerry.

Pause.

JOOL
(softly)
I really had a great time.

ROMMY
So did I.
A great time.
What a concept.
Been awhile.
I could get used to it.

JOOL
I don’t want to go.

ROMMY
Then don’t go.

JOOL
I have to.
My uncle is going
to KILL me.

ROMMY
I’ll come see you.

JOOL
Soon?

ROMMY
Soon.
(beat)
Real soon.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Escape From New Jersey


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy, Merk, Brick and the revolutionaries successfully smash through the walled Republic of Manhattan ... while being followed by a horde of screaming, rabid infected mutants ...


ON THE FIRE TRUCK
Brick lights a big cigar.

BRICK
C’mon, kids. Let’s go take a
bite out of the rotten apple.

He JAMS the truck into gear.
Starts heading toward the tunnel.

Jag drives the missile launcher next to him.
The engine SPUTTERS and COUGHS.
Then dies. Brick stops.

BRICK (CONT’D)
What’s wrong?

JAG
Outta gas.

BRICK
Everybody get on the truck. HURRY.

Jag, Reno, Monster and Hammer JUMP
off the missile launcher.
SCRAMBLE onto the fire truck.

BRICK (CONT'D)
Let’s MOVE OUT --

Brick starts driving.
Reno sees something behind them.

RENO
There’s more coming. STEP ON IT.

Everyone looks, sees --

IN THE DISTANCE

Another wave of zombies fills the skyline.
There’s gotta be A THOUSAND of ‘em.
Scary shit. Brick HIS the gas. Yells out --

BRICK
Get ready with the HOSES.

Jag and Reno each grab a FIRE HOSE.
Monster climbs over to the side near the pump.
The truck ROARS into the tunnel.

IN THE TUNNEL
The fire truck HAULS ASS.
Headlights BLAZING in the darkness.

OUTSIDE THE TUNNEL
The wave of zombies reaches the entrance.
Start POURING IN.

IN THE TUNNEL
Brick drives like a maniac.
Sees ABANDONED VEHICLES up ahead.

BRICK (CONT’D)
Shit, shit, shit --

MERK
Just plow into ‘em.
The truck’ll fuck ‘em UP.

BRICK
Here goes nothing --

ROMMY
Omigod, we’re all gonna DIE.

Rommy DUCKS DOWN just as the fire truck
SMASHES through a cluster of cars -- BANG.
Metal and debris goes FLYING.

BEHIND THEM IN THE TUNNEL
A wave of ZOMBIES fill the roadway
like spiders on speed.

SCREAMING, CHATTERING, SCRABBLING
down the pavement.

ON THE FIRE TRUCK
Reno cocks her head. Hears them coming.

RENO
Zombies APPROACHING. Get ready --

Jag and Reno brace themselves. Aim their hoses.
THE ZOMBIES get closer. See them. Go NUTS.

JAG
Gimme UNLEADED, baby --

Monster FLIPS on the pump.
Gasoline SPRAYS out the hoses.

Jag and Reno SHOOT them with gas.
The mutants fall back, SCREAMING.

Their skin BUBBLES into a WHITE MIST.
They HIT the ground and DISSOLVE
into a gooey puddles of pulp and bones.

But the infected behind them keep coming.
Jag and Reno hit THEM with gasoline,
and they go down.

But more and more keep coming.
Reno turns to Jag. Yells --

RENO
There’s TOO MANY OF ‘EM --

JAG
Keep SPRAYING --

IN THE TRUCK
Brick keeps driving like a maniac.
SMASHES into another car.

Rommy BOUNCES around in the back.
Freaking out.

SIDE POV
We see the fire truck
FLYING down the tunnel.

SMASHING into abandoned cars,
the zombies right behind them.

They get HOSED, EXPLODE, and
another wave takes its place.

ON THE TRUCK
The hoses stop spraying.
Jag and Reno look at each other.

JAG (CONT'D)
We’re outta GAS --

IN THE TRUCK
Brick JAMS his foot on the gas.
The truck LURCHES forward.

ON THE TRUCK
The zombies reach the rear end.
Start climbing on.

BRICK
Sees them in the rear view mirror.

BRICK
JAG. SHOOT the fuckers --

Jag pulls out an Uzi and SPRAYS
them with machine gun fire.

As each gets HIT,
they EXPLODE IN A GREEN MIST.

EXT. HOLLAND TUNNEL ENTRANCE - DAY
The fire truck FLIES out of
the tunnel, trailing zombies.

INT. FIRE TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Brick GRABS the steering wheel --

BRICK
Hold onto your tits --

And SWERVES into a hard right.

EXT. MANHATTAN - VARICK STREET - CONTINUOUS
The truck’s cab turns north.
The rear end JERKS forward
with centrifugal force, and
the zombies hanging on GO FLYING.

Then JERKS to the right into an alley.
SCREECHES to a stop.

IN THE TRUCK
Everyone watches a new wave of zombies
come ROARING DOWN THE STREET
behind them in the distance.
They all exhale.

BRICK
God-DAMMIT.
(to Jag)
How much ammo do we have left?

JAG
One more clip. That’s it.

ROMMY
Cowers in a corner.
Pulls a snapshot out.
Stares at it.

THE PHOTO
Is a Polaroid taken at the street fair.
It’s a close-up of Jool. Holding a
large, multi-colored ice cream cone.
Big grin. Eyes filled with lust.

ROMMY
Puts it back in his pocket.
Blinks back tears.

ROMMY
(whispers)
Don’t worry, Jool. I’m coming.
(beat)
Even if it kills me --

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Z-Day


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Brick, Romy, Merk, Gaga and the revolutionaries blast their way into the Republic of Manhattan ... while being chased by a rabid hoard of zombies ...


EXT. HOLLAND TUNNEL ENTRANCE - DAY
A big, long red fire truck
and a missile launcher drive
side-by-side toward the
walled-up opening of the tunnel.

They pass through the
empty toll booths. Then stop.

IN THE FIRE TRUCK
We see Brick behind the wheel.
Gaga rides shotgun.

Rommy and Merk sit in the back.
Searching the skyline with binoculars.

MERK
See anything yet?

ROMMY
No. You?

MERK
Not yet.
(beat)
Don’t be scared.
This is going to work.

ROMMY
I’m not scared.

MERK
Then why are your hands shaking?

ROMMY
Fuck you. I’m cold.

IN THE MISSILE LAUNCHER
We see Jag behind the wheel.
Reno in the passenger seat.
Monster and Hammer sit in the back.

IN THE FIRE TRUCK
Brick leans out the window.
Yells toward the back.

BRICK
Status report?

HAMMER
Coast is clear --

MERK
(looks through binoculars)
Hold on. I think I see something.

ROMMY
(sees it, too)
Oh my god --

IN THE DISTANCE
A pack of a hundred RABID ZOMBIES
is RUNNING toward them.

SLOBBERING, SPITTING, SCREAMING.
Scary as SHIT.

IN THE FIRE TRUCK
BRICK
(yells at Jag)
Prepare to FIRE.

ON THE MISSILE LAUNCHER
Jag yells at the team in the back.

JAG
Prepare to FIRE.

Monster nods.
Gets ready to flip a switch.

MONSTER
READY, sir --

IN THE DISTANCE
The pack of zombies gets closer.

IN THE FIRE TRUCK
Brick nods. Yells at Monster.

BRICK
FIRE MISSILE.

ON THE MISSILE LAUNCHER
Monster FLIPS a switch -- and BANG,
the rocket TAKES OFF
in a CLOUD OF SMOKE --
and ROARS toward the tunnel.

IN THE DISTANCE
The zombies slow down a bit.
Watch the missile.

EXT. TUNNEL ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS
The missile ZOOMS toward the
walled-up tunnel entrance,
then SMASHES through it, BOOM.
Bricks and cement go FLYING.

ROMMY
Watches. Open-mouthed.

IN THE TUNNEL
The rocket ROARS through it
trailing a BLAZE OF EXHAUST.

EXT. LOWER MANHATTAN - HOLLAND TUNNEL EXIT - CONTINUOUS
The rocket SMASHES through the
tunnel exit on the other side.

ROARS into Tribeca.
People SCREAM and JUMP out of the way.

It veers to the left and
CRASHES into a loft building,
which EXPLODES in a big,
black cloud of SMOKE AND DEBRIS.

ON THE OTHER SIDE
The zombies see the opening.
Smell more uninfected human
flesh on the other side.
Start RUNNING toward it -- and them.

ON THE FIRE TRUCK
Brick lights a big cigar.

BRICK
C’mon, kids. Let’s go take
a bite out of the rotten apple.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Safe House


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after being infected with the HIZ 'zombie virus,' conservative Jool is quarantined at home, where she fights with her uncle about her forbidden love of the liberal Rommy ...


INT. CARLING’S MANSION - JOOL’S BEDROOM - DAY
Jool lies in bed with an IV drip
surrounded by a quarantine tent.

A series of monitors and equipment
monitor her condition.

Carling and Nin
stand nearby, distraught.

A distinguished-looking
DOCTOR IN WHITE (60’s)
checks her vitals on a clipboard.

Then checks under the bandage
on her face. Nods. Makes some notes.

JOOL
Why do I have to stay in bed?
I don’t feel THAT bad --

CARLING
It’s for your own good, my darling.

JOOL
And what’s up with the quarantine?
I’m not contagious. You can’t
get the virus by touching me --

DOCTOR IN WHITE
I’m sorry, young lady --
but we need to take
every precaution necessary.
(to Carling)
Her vitals have stabilized.
But she needs to stay
in bed and rest.

CARLING
Isn’t there anything else
you can do?

DOCTOR IN WHITE
I’m sorry, I’m afraid not.
All we can do is make her
as comfortable as possible.

CARLING
But that can’t BE.
Don’t you have any experimental
drugs you can give her?

DOCTOR IN WHITE
No. Not since the government
stopped funding research --
(sighs)
God bless us all.

NIN
Well, I don’t care
what any of you say,
I’m going to stay here
and keep her company.
We can’t just leave her alone.

CARLING
I’m not sure that’s a good
idea, Nin. She’s VERY sick.

JOOL
Stop talking to her
like I’m NOT HERE.

CARLING
I’m only doing this
because I love you, Jool.
You’re my only niece.
And we need to make sure
the virus is -- contained.

JOOL
What part of ‘it’s not contagious’
don’t you GET? It’s only
transmitted through THE BLOOD.

DOCTOR IN WHITE
Well, the jury’s
not out on that yet --

Jool eyes fill with rage.

JOOL
At least there’s ONE good thing
about me getting infected.

CARLING
What on earth do you MEAN?

JOOL
Now I don’t have to marry
that fucking pretty boy LAME-ASS.

NIN
Jool --

CARLING
What have I TOLD you
about using the F-word?

JOOL
FUCK you.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.
(hisses)
You DISGUST me.
I HATE you.
You’re not my FATHER.
He was KIND.
You’re a MONSTER.

Nin nods at Carling. Go.
I’ll take care of this.

He turns ashen-faced. Nods.
Turns and walks out.
The doctor follows.

NIN
Don’t you think you were
a little harsh on your uncle?

JOOL
I wasn’t harsh ENOUGH.

NIN
What were you doing in Time Square?

JOOL
I was meeting Rommy. We were --
(beat)
Going run away together.

NIN
So what happened?

JOOL
I -- don’t know.
He wasn’t there.
He must of -- gotten infected.
(beat)
And now he’s GONE --

Friday, April 7, 2017

Welcome To The Jungle


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after Rommy gets ejected from the republic of Manhattan after getting infected with the zombie virus, he finds the revolutionaries' headquarters in the burnt-out ruins of New Jersey, where he's reunited with his BFF Merk and his sister Gaga ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY - BURNT-OUT WATERFRONT - DAY
Rommy comes TEARING ASS down the street
pursued by a HORDE of DROOLING, RABID ZOMBIES.
They’re getting closer and closer.

He gets to an intersection,
DASHES around the corner.

DUCKS into a dark doorway.
The zombies FLY BY.

Breathes a sigh of relief.
Peeks out. Sees they’re gone.

ROMMY
(whispers)
Holy shit.

Looks around.
Doesn’t know what to do.

Then hears something.
Puts his ear to the door.

INT. BOARDED-UP CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
Everyone sits around the big table.
Brick and Merk are examining a large map.

BRICK
A fire truck?

MERK
Yeah. It’s a few blocks away.
We fill the water tank with gas.
Spray the fuckers.

BRICK
Nice.
So then with the missile launcher,
we’ll have a real convoy --

MERK
How much gas do you have?

BRICK
Well, it takes each of us about a week
to scavenge a couple of gallons from
old cars and the occasional gas station.
We probably have enough in our reserves
to fill the water tank about half-way.
And then we’ll need enough in the
gas tank to get us into the republic.
(to Monster)
How much gas is in the missile launcher?

MONSTER
We’re good.

BRICK
And Jag’s got the Uzi in case of an emergency --
(to Jag)
How much ammo you got left?

JAG
Two clips.

A KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK on the door.

RENO
Someone’s at the door --

JAG
I got it.

He goes to the door.
Opens a peephole. Looks. Turns around.

JAG (CONT’D)
It’s a young kid. Looks newly infected.

BRICK
Let him in --

Jag undoes a series of dead-bolts.
Opens the door.

Rommy walks in. Looking relieved.
Breathes a sigh of relief.

ROMMY
Ohmigod, thanks.
I was being chased by a bunch of --
(sees Merk)
MERK?

MERK
ROMMY?

Merk rushes over to him. They hug.

BRICK
Check out the bromance.

MERK
What the fuck HAPPENED?

ROMMY
Jool and I were gonna run away together.
We were gonna meet in Times Square,
but I got infected before she got there, and --
(sighs)
My life is over.
Could one of you just shoot me?
(sees Gaga)
GAGA?

GAGA
(waves)
Hey, there. Welcome to the jungle.
We’ve got fun and games.

Rommy looks at everybody. Realizes.

ROMMY
Wait a minute. The vaccine --

MERK
Yeah, it works.
We’re all back to normal.
Whatever THAT means --

ROMMY
Do you have any more?

MERK
No, I’m sorry. But I can make some.

ROMMY
How soon?

MERK
Well, first we have to invade the republic.
Then we can find a chemistry lab.

ROMMY
How in the hell are you going to
INVADE the republic?

MERK
Have a seat. We’ll fill you in.

ROMMY
You have a plan?

BRICK
Does a zombie shit in the woods?

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

The Time Square Massacre


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, we see a late-breaking news report announcing the president has signed into law a 'shoot on sight' decree targeting citizens who have become infected with the 'HIZ' zombie virus ...


INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
Brock Landers sits at
his desk with Nobu Phillips.

But this time,
they aren’t smiling.

NOBU
A late-breaking bulletin
just came in --

BROCK
The president has just
signed into law the controversial
Shoot On Sight bill that has
been the subject of fierce debate
amongst our republic’s lawmakers --

NOBU
As of today, anyone who is
infected with the HIZ Virus
will be shot on sight.
The state police are right now
sweeping Times Square and have
already killed several
dozen infected citizens.
(sighs)
I don’t know how
I feel about this, Brock.
Isn’t it kind of barbaric?

BROCK
Gosh, Nobu, I don’t know.
But heck, we’re not supposed
to offer our opinion.
We’re just here to read the news.

NOBU
I know.
And that’s another thing.
I could write my own stories,
but they won’t let me.

BROCK
Aw, gee whiz.
Is it that time
of the month again?
(into the camera)
We’ll bring you more
on this late-breaking
story as it unfolds.
We now return you
to our regularly
scheduled programming.

NOBU
(leans over, whispers)
Brock.
This IS our regularly
scheduled programming.

Brock clears his throat.
Looks at the Teleprompter.

BROCK
We now take you to
our man on the street,
Paul David Brazill,
live on the scene,
where chaos has
erupted in midtown --

NOBU
In what the media
is now calling
'The Times Square Massacre.'

BROCK
Nice.

NOBU
See?
I told you I could write --

Thursday, March 30, 2017

World War Z


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Jool's uncle discovers to his horror that she's been infected with the zombie virus. Meanwhile, Rommy's parents learn that he's also been infected and is being ejected from the republic ...


INT. CARLING’S MANSION - OFFICE - DAY
A giant room. Stately. Elegant.
Walls full of books.

A roaring fireplace.
Right out of Masterpiece Theater.

Carling sits behind his desk.
Nin stands in front of him.

NIN
Still no word?

CARLING
No. And I’m worried sick.
My darling niece is MISSING.
I’ve got a whole squadron
out there looking for her.
Are you SURE you have
no idea where she went?

NIN
No, I’m sorry --

FOOTSTEPS in the next room.
They both turn, look -- see --

Jool stands in the doorway.
Clothes torn and dirty.

Face scratched and bloody.
Skin a dull green.

JOOL
I don’t feel so good.

PUSH IN ON Carling’s face. Freaked out.

CARLING
My god, you’re INFECTED.
Quick, Nin -- CALL THE DOCTOR.

INT. MONT RESIDENCE - KITCHEN - DAY
Orson sits at the kitchen table
with his wife CLIO (40’s), Rommy’s mother.

Attractive, bohemian in denim.
They both look haunted. Lost.
Clio pours more coffee in their cups.

CLIO
I just don’t understand why he’d --
run away like that.

ORSON
I bet it had something to do
with that Kapp girl.

CLIO
But didn’t you tell him
he couldn’t see her anymore?

ORSON
Yes, I did.
But you know young love --

CLIO
(sad smile)
I seem to have a dim memory of it --

The phone RINGS.
Orson gets up. Answers it.

ORSON
This is Orson --
(listens)
WHAT? But that’s IMPOSSIBLE --
(listens)
But that’s my SON.
You can’t just --
(listens)
Hello? Hello? HELLO?

He BANGS down the phone.
Clio starts shaking with fear.

ORSON (CONT’D)
He HUNG UP on me --

CLIO
Wh-what happened? Where’s Rommy?

ORSON
Rommy got infected.
He’s being ejected from the republic.

CLIO
Oh, NO. My BABY.

Clio SHRIEKS with horror.
Buries her face in her hands.
Starts sobbing.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

We Shall Overcome


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Merk huddles with Brick Cosmo and his revolutionaries to plans their sneak attack on the Republic of Manhattan ...


INT. BOARDED-UP CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Brick and the gang sit around a big
plywood table set up in the back of the store.

Everyone has had injections of the vaccine
and are now healed. Healthy-looking.

MONSTER
(stares at Reno)
I haven’t felt this good in a LONG time.
I’ve actually got WOOD.

RENO
Keep it in your pants, buster.
You know I only eat fish.

BRICK
Settle down, children.
We’ve got serious business to discuss.

HAMMER
What’s that?

BRICK
Well, now that we’re well, we
need to rethink our plan of attack.

JAG
Good point.

MERK
What do you need to rethink?

BRICK
Well, the original plan was to
blow a hole through the walled-up tunnel,
and then the zombies, smelling clean,
uninfected flesh, would invade the island
and kill everybody --
(beat)
Which now would include us.

MERK
How were you going to blow
a hole in the tunnel?

RENO
We got us a surface-to-air missile
in a garage down the street.

MERK
Where did you get that?

JAG
Nearby military base was having
a fire sale. Literally.

MERK
I think your plan can still work.

BRICK
Yeah?

MERK
Sure. We blow a hole in the tunnel
and go in BEFORE them.

BRICK
But they’ll follow us --

MERK
So we kill ‘em.

BRICK
But they’ll be another wave behind them.
And another, and another --

MERK
Yeah, but once we get through, we’ve
got all of Manhattan to hide.

HAMMER
Yeah. And it’ll be complete bedlam.

MERK
And then all we’ve gotta do is get to
the media uptown so they can spread the word
about the vaccine. We’ll be heroes --

MONSTER
The man’s a genius --

GAGA
Told you he was smart.

BRICK
All in favor?

Everyone raises their hands.

MERK
I’m really starting to get into
this revolutionary thing.

RENO
People have the POWER.

MONSTER
United we CAN.

JAG
We shall OVERCOME.

HAMMER
Give me liberty, or give me DEATH.

GAGA
Liberty, equality, FRATERNITY.

BRICK
Let freedom RING.

Everyone looks at Merk expectantly.

MERK
(sings)
You say you want a revolution, well you know,
we all want to change the world --

Monday, March 27, 2017

Super-Size It


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, the shit hits the fan when Rommy goes to Times Square to meet Jool and run away with her ... and tangles with the newly-infected undead ...


EXT. TIMES SQUARE - DAY
Rommy stands in front of what
used to be the Disney Store.

Most of the signage is gone.
Now reads ‘Di_sey S_ore.’

And, underneath it, HOT LESBIAN NURSES
in flashing red neon.

A crowd of HOMELESS PEOPLE, HOOKERS and
various other FREAKS parade past him
like something out of a John Waters film.

ROMMY
(sings softly to himself)
Everybody wants some,
I want some TOO --

A VICIOUS-LOOKING HOMELESS MAN
IN RAGS approaches him.

ROMMY (CONT’D)
Everybody wants some, how ‘bout YOU?
(sees him, steps back)
Excuse me.

VICIOUS-LOOKING HOMELESS MAN IN RAGS
Hungry. Need to -- EAT.

Rommy pulls out some change.
Offers it to him.

ROMMY
Here you go --

But Vicious-Looking ignores it.
He GRABS Rommy’s arm, YANKS it
to his mouth and CHOMPS on it.
Blood SQUIRTS in the air.

ROMMY (CONT’D)
OW, HEY --

Suddenly Vicious-Looking’s head
EXPLODES IN A RED MIST,
drenching Rommy with blood and goo.

A pair of COMMANDOS IN BLACK
appear out of nowhere with shotguns.

Watch Vicious-Looking’s
body crumple into a heap.

ROMMY (CONT’D)
Holy SHIT.

The Taller Commando pulls out a scanner.
Waves it across Rommy.

It VIBRATES and HUMS.
He reads the meter.

TALLER COMMANDO
Infection level three.

BULKY COMMANDO
Already? DAMN.
Let’s bag ‘em, Marko.

ROMMY
Bag ‘em? No, WAIT.
I’m waiting for my --

In the blink of an eye Taller
WHIPS OUT a giant black body bag
from his backpack --
and Bulky SHOVES Rommy into it.

ROMMY (CONT'D)
(muffled screams)
Hey, let me OUT OF HERE.
You can’t DO this.
I’m supposed to meet my --

Marko PUNCHES the bag --
THWUMP. Silence.

MARKO
Don’t get mad. Get Glad.

BULKY COMMANDO
(looks at his watch)
Let’s drop him off right away.
If we hurry, we’ll have time
for a meat log afterward --

And they carry him away.
Just then Jool appears.
Out of breath.

She scans the passing
crowd of filth. No Rommy.
She looks at her watch. Puzzled.

JOOL
Where IS he?

A DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS
OBESE BAG LADY passes by.
Stops. Smells Jool.

Her hideous, deformed,
face a rictus of death.

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Mmm. Someone smells -- clean.

JOOL
(starts backing away)
Stay AWAY from me --

Disgusting gets in her face.
Pushes her into an alcove.

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Is that SOFT SOAP?

JOOL
I said GET AWAY FROM ME --

DISGUSTING, TOOTHLESS OBESE BAG LADY
Wanna NECK?

Jool LASHES out at her, SWIPES
her nails across Disgusting’s face.

Disgusting SCREAMS, RAKES
hers across Jool’s face.

Jool HEAD-BUTTS Disgusting, who
REELS back. Momentarily stunned.

Another PAIR OF COMMANDOS
appears and GRABS Disgusting.
One of them waves a scanner over her.

REPULSED COMMANDO
Holy fucking SHIT.
Infection level SIX.

Jool slides around them.
Then RUNS away.

FREAKED-OUT COMMANDO
Piece of shit’s gonna
turn ANY MINUTE.

The commandos pull out ASSAULT RIFLES.
Stand back. Aim their weapons at Disgusting --
just as she starts MORPHING into a
hideous, screeching, chattering ZOMBIE.

They OPEN FIRE and SHRED the
repulsive creature into a frappe’
of blood, bones, puss, brains and goo.

REPULSED COMMANDO
Talk about super-sized --

FREAKED-OUT COMMANDO
I’m gonna get sick.
(realizes)
Hey. Where’d the girl go?

REPULSED COMMANDO
Fuck it.
I’m not chasing after her.
They don’t pay us enough.
(looks at the mess)
I mean look, now we gotta
CLEAN UP this shit --

Friday, March 24, 2017

Night Of The Living Fuck


Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Merk finds his long-lost infected sister Gaga, who is holed up with the anti-republic revolutionaries in the wilds of New Jersey, and finally gets a chance to see if his zombie virus vaccine works ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY WATERFRONT - STREET CORNER - NIGHT
Merk walks down the street looking
at the ruins, the decay, the rubble.
Shakes his head sadly.

MERK
'New Jersey and you, perfect together.'
(beat)
Not.
(hears something)
What’s that?

He stops in front of the
boarded-up convenience store.

Puts his ear against the plywood
covering what used to be
one of the windows. Listens.

INT. BOARDED-UP CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Brick, Reno, Monster, Hammer and Jag are
quietly hammering nails into pieces of wood
to cover the holes that the zombies
made during the attack.

It’s a rather odd sight, really, seeing
someone trying to hammer slowly. Softly.

Gaga looks through a peephole in the wall.
Keeping an eye on what’s going on outside.

GAGA
I don’t fucking BELIEVE it.

BRICK
What?

GAGA
My BROTHER is out there --

RENO
The one with the vaccine?

GAGA
Yeah.

BRICK
Then LET HIM IN --

Gaga slides back a two-by-four
dead bolt across the door.

Then slowly opens the door.
Merk stands there. In shock.

MERK
Gaga?

GAGA
MERK --

MERK
I can’t believe I found you -- so quickly.

GAGA
Get your ass IN HERE.

He comes in. She shuts and locks the door. They hug.
Brick walks up to Merk. Offers his hand. They shake.

BRICK
The name’s Brick. Brick Cosmo.
I’m the leader of this here revolutionary cell.

MERK
(looks around the room, nods)
Cool. Cool.
(beat)
Kind of a small cell --

BRICK
Well, there used to be about a hundred of us,
but most of our troops got wiped out
in The Battle Of The Meadowlands.

We then decided to set up camp near
where the newly-infected get dropped off.

Figured that would be the
easiest way to increase our ranks.

That’s why you found us so quickly.
Not too shabby, eh?

MERK
Got it --

BRICK
Your sister tells us you’ve
got a vaccine for the virus.

MERK
I do, but I haven’t tested it yet.

RENO
(suspicious)
Why didn’t you test it on yourself?

MERK
I’m not infected.

GAGA
You mean you left the republic to --

MERK
Hey. You’re my sister.

BRICK
How much do you have?

MERK
Enough for all of you.

BRICK
Then let’s get this show on the road
and see if this shit works.

Merk shrugs out of his backpack.
Opens one of the compartments.
Pulls out a small medical bag.

MERK
It worked on the lab rats --
(looks at Gaga)
Don’t worry. They only bad reaction
would be getting the virus,
which you already have.

GAGA
Okay --

She sits.
Watches him prepare the injection.

He wipes her arm with an alcohol swab.
SQUIRTS the needle.

MERK
Just relax. This won’t hurt a bit.

She nods. Closes her eyes.
He taps lightly on her forearm.
Finds a vein. Injects her. She flinches.

MERK (CONT'D)
Okay. Give it a few minutes --
(to Brick)
So what was The Battle Of The Meadowlands?

BRICK
We were having our first rally.
You know, getting organized.
It was really trippy, like
out of a John Carpenter movie --

MERK
Who’s John Carpenter?

BRICK
Not important. Anyway, there were
a couple hundred SERIOUSLY infected
living in the bowels of the stadium,
I mean, we’re talking full-on
Night Of The Living FUCK.
It was Twenty-Eight YEARS Later-time.

GAGA
Merk, MERK. LOOK --

Gaga holds up her hand.
The swelling and discoloration is gone.

Her face looks normal, too.
She beams with happiness.

MERK
It worked. It WORKED.

BRICK
(starts rolling up his sleeve)
Holy SHIT. You’re a fucking genius.

PUSH IN ON Merk. Smiling.
Holding up the syringe.

MERK
Hey. Friends DO
let friends share needles --

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

The Great Escape


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, liberal Rommy climbs up conservative Jool's building and meets her on her balcony, where he asks her to run away with him to escape their parents' disapproval of their love ...


EXT. CARLING’S MANSION - NIGHT
Rommy climbs up the drainpipe
on the exterior wall of the house.

He pulls himself up.
Feet search for a resting place.

They find it, on a narrow ledge.
He rests a moment. Winded.

ROMMY
This is great, Rommy. Just great.
You’re gonna get yourself killed.
I should have my head examined.

He takes a deep breath. Starts climbing.
Goes up, up, up -- until he’s
just below Jool’s balcony.

He carefully grips the pipe.
Keeps climbing. Sees her window.

ROMMY (CONT'D)
Thank god. Light from her yonder window --
(calls out)
JOOL.

Jool rushes out onto the balcony. Sees him.

JOOL
ROMMY?

Rommy climbs over. Goes to her.
Takes her hands in his.

ROMMY
Hey, there. Miss me?

JOOL
You -- climbed up the building.

ROMMY
You are the sun, and the moon is --
really pissed off. I don’t know.
Something like that.

JOOL
Rommy, oh Rommy. Wherefor art thou --
(beat)
At two in the morning.

ROMMY
My bike had a flat and I had to walk.
(beat)
And running away from home is
a big decision, you know? Kinda stressful.

JOOL
I can’t believe you’re here.

ROMMY
Neither can I. That was SOME climb.

JOOL
Wait a minute.
You said 'running way from home?'

ROMMY
Okay, look. Here’s the deal.
Our families have forbidden us
from seeing each other.
Well, I say screw them.
Why do we have to do what THEY say?
We can still be together.

JOOL
You mean --

ROMMY
Come away with me.
I’ve got some money saved up --
(off her look)
I know it’s really sudden.
If you need time to think about it,
I totally understand.

JOOL
YES. YES. I will --

ROMMY
Really?

NIN (O.C.)
Jool, what are you doing out there?
You’ll catch your death of cold.

JOOL
Hold that thought. I’ll be right back.

INT. JOOL’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Jool dashes over to Nin excitedly.

JOOL
It’s Rommy. He’s HERE.
He climbed UP THE BUILDING.

NIN
Really?

JOOL
YES. Guard the door.
If Uncle Carling comes by,
tell him I’m asleep.

NIN
You got it.

JOOL
Thanks.

She DASHES back out onto --

THE BALCONY
Where Rommy stands waiting.

ROMMY
Everything okay?

JOOL
Yeah. That was my -- Nin.
She watches out for me.
But you better get out of here.
If my uncle finds you,
he’ll KILL you.

ROMMY
Okay. What time should we meet tomorrow?

JOOL
How about -- nine-AM?

ROMMY
(nods)
Nine-AM.

JOOL
Where should we meet?

ROMMY
Times Square. We’ll be safe there --
we can disappear in the crowd.
Meet me in front of the
old Disney store ruins.

JOOL
Isn’t that -- kinda hokey?

ROMMY
(sings, off-key)
Can you feel the love tonight --

JOOL
Okay, okay --
(grabs him)
Kiss me, you fool.

And they embrace.
Kiss passionately. Pull apart.

Rommy smiles.
Then suddenly looks freaked out.

JOOL (CONT’D)
What’s wrong?

ROMMY
I just realized.
Now I’ve gotta climb back down --

Monday, March 20, 2017

Going Rogue


Hey there, crime kids. Happy first day of Spring. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Merk gets himself ejected from the Republic of Manhattan by pretending to be infected with the zombie virus ... so he can look for his sister Gaga who was ejected because she was infected ...


EXT. DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN - THE WALL - NIGHT
A three-story-high wall
of cinder blocks now
surrounds the city-state.

Coils of barbed wire on top.
A sentry station at each block
with armed guards.
Searchlights sweep the area.

All is quiet.
It’s past curfew.

Merk walks west toward the
end of Christopher Street.

Backpack loaded with supplies.
Face smeared with green makeup
for that ‘infected’ look.

He gets near the wall. Stops.
Looks up at the sentry box.

MERK
Oh, great soldier of
the Republic, what say you?

A spotlight WHOOSHES
across the dark sky.

Lands on Merk, illuminating
him in its bright light.

NASTY GUARD (O.C.)
HALT.
Who goes there?

MERK
It is I, Merk Rowe,
here to give myself up.
I have become infected
with the virus and
wish to leave, sire.
I simply wish a
safe exit without harm.

A giant net FLIES DOWN,
trapping Merk.

The rope YANKS UP, and
he’s lifted into the air.

MERK (CONT'D)
Thank you, my lord.

EXT. NEW JERSEY WATERFRONT - STREET CORNER - NIGHT
We recognize the area
as the same place where
Gaga ended up
earlier in the story.
Deserted. Ominously quiet.

Merk comes around a corner,
looking bruised and battered.
But okay. He holds a lantern.
Picks his way through the rubble.

MERK
Okay, now if I
were newly-infected
seventeen-year-old-girl,
where would I go?

Friday, March 17, 2017

Puppy Love


Hey there, crime kids. Happy St. Patrick's Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy's liberal father Carling forbids him from seeing the conservative Jool. Meanwhile, Jool's conservative Uncle forbids her from seeing the liberal Rommy ...


EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE BROWNSTONE - NIGHT
A beautiful pre-war three-story
single-residence on a leafy side street.
Elegant. Tasteful. Like out of a time capsule.

INT. MONT RESIDENCE - STUDY - NIGHT
A manly, academic lair.
Bookcases crammed with classic books.

A fire CRACKLES in the hearth.
Classic jazz on the hi-fi.

Prints of classic art.
The joint is, in a word -- classic.

ORSON MONT (40’s) sits at his desk.
Good-looking with a shock of dark hair.

Professorial threads.
Eyes normally crinkled with good humor.
But not now. Not when they’ve been betrayed.
Seated before him is Rommy, beyond upset.

ROMMY
But Dad, that’s not FAIR.

ORSON
LIFE isn’t fair, Rommy. You know that.
I’m sorry, but NO son of mine will EVER
be associated with a KAPP.
Did you know they’re trying to
pass a law that anyone who gets infected
is to be SHOT ON SIGHT?
(beat)
And what about the election?
What do you think my chances would be
if word gets out that
my son is dating a KAPP?
I’d have to disown you.
And you don’t want THAT, do you?
(off his stare)
Don’t worry son,
it’s only puppy love.
You’re young.
You’ll get over it.
There’s plenty of fish
below fourteenth street.
(beat)
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I’ve got a conference call.

He reaches over.
Starts dialing a number on the phone.

Rommy glares at his father. Angry. Leaves the room.
IN THE CORRIDOR

Rommy shuts the door quietly.
Looks at it. Seething.

ROMMY
Just try and STOP me.

INT. CARLING’S MANSION - JOOL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jool sits on her bed.
Eyes on fire. Royally pissed off

Carling sits next to her.
Tries to comfort her.

CARLING
You’ll see, honey. It’s for the best.
No niece of mine can be seen
associating with a Mont.
Did you know they’re trying to pass a law
that will give the infected equal rights?

JOOL
But I LIKE him. He’s kind, decent, sensitive --
nothing like the pompous jerks up here.
He cares about people, not MONEY.

CARLING
Now you’re talking crazy.
(sighs)
It’s just a schoolgirl crush.
Tate is much better for you.
He comes from a good family.

Jool stares at him, wild-eyed.

JOOL
But I don’t even KNOW him --

CARLING
It’s all been settled, darling.
The wedding has been set for next week --

Nin appears in the doorway.
Arches an eyebrow.

Carling nods for her to
come and take over. He stands.

She walks over. Sits next to Jool.
Tries to comfort her.

CARLING (CONT'D)
Get some rest, my love.
You’ll feel better in the morning.
Nin here will take care of you.

He leaves. Jool looks at Nin.

JOOL
What am I going to do?
I want to go out with Rommy,
not marry somebody I don’t know.
And Uncle Carling said
the marriage is NEXT WEEK --

NIN
We’ll see what we can do about THAT.

JOOL
Really?

NIN
Of course. Ever since your parents --
(beat)
I’ve thought of you like a daughter.

They hug.

JOOL
So do I. I mean, you, like my mother.
(sighs)
What are we going to do?

NIN
I don’t know. But don’t worry.
There’s more than one way
to skin a fat-cat.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Fresh Meat


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, 'infected revolutionary' leader Brick Cosmo takes Gaga to his secret headquarters, where she meets the rest of his team ... just in time to fend off a zombie attack ...


INT. ABANDONED CONVENIENCE STORE - AT THAT MOMENT
Dark and dank. Windows boarded up.
A series of crude bunk beds line one wall.
On another, shelves filled with supplies.

Brick stands in front of his
group of INFECTED REVOLUTIONARIES.

There’s about a dozen of them,
in various stages of decay.
But none of them are too far-gone.

Standing next to him is Gaga.
Looking around nervously.

BRICK
This here’s Gaga.
She was just infected
and thrown to the wolves.
And she’s decided to
join the revolution.

The group starts murmuring.
MONSTER (30’S), big and burly, stands.
Stares at Gaga. Points a finger.

MONSTER
But she’s just a young GIRL.
How’s she supposed to FIGHT?

BRICK
So what was I supposed to do,
let the terminals GET her?
And besides, it’s
strength in numbers, Monster.

RENO (20’s), a tough biker chick, sneers.

RENO
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Last time I looked,
we’re not on Sesame Street.

MONSTER
I say we VOTE on it.
All that say NAY, raise your hands.

He SHOOTS his hand up.
Half the group raises their hands.

GAGA
Can I say something?

BRICK
Sure thing, little lady.
The floor is yours.

Gaga looks at the group.
Scared to death. But defiant.

GAGA
I’ll have you know that I’m a Mont,
NOT a Kapp, and that we think
how you’ve been treated is unfair --

MONSTER
Big fucking deal.

GAGA
And -- that my brother has
developed a vaccine for the virus.

A hush falls over the room.

BRICK
Really? You didn’t tell me that.

GAGA
Well, what with escaping from
the zombies and stuff,
it slipped my mind.

HAMMER (20’s), a dead ringer
for Ving Rhames chortles.

HAMMER
Bull-SHIT. How do we know
this fuckin’ vaccine WORKS?

GAGA
My brother’s a genius.
He’s second year pre-med,
and he’s only seventeen --

Something SLAMS against the front door.
BANG. BANG. BANG.

GAGA (CONT’D)
What’s THAT?

MONSTER
INFECTED ATTACK --

The BANGING increases.
Every wall in the room starts SHAKING.

Everybody LEAPS up. Races around.
Grabs their squirt guns.

Brick grabs a pair of super-soakers.
Hands one to Gaga.

GAGA
How did they find us?

BRICK
Smell. In the last six months
of infection, they’re like bloodhounds.
And you’re fresh meat.

Monster RACES over to the wall.
Opens a peep-hole. Looks out.

BRICK (CONT’D)
How many?

MONSTER
About a hundred --

GAGA
A HUNDRED?

MONSTER
Hell, we escaped from over a
thousand on the Jersey Shore --

GAGA
A THOUSAND?

MONSTER
Well, you know the Jersey Shore --

BRICK
Quick, everybody -- up to the ROOF.

The BANGING gets louder.
Red-clawed mutant hands
start punching HOLES in the walls.

Everybody RACES to the stairs
on the other side of the room.
Start RUNNING up the steps.

EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE ROOF - NIGHT
Brick, Gaga, Reno, Monster, Hammer
and the rest FLY out onto the roof.
Go to the sides. Look down.

AERIAL POV --
The building is surrounded by
A HOARD OF INFECTED ZOMBIES.

Ravenous, bug-eyed, screeching mutants
covered in lesions, dripping goo,
now scrabbling up the walls like spiders.

JAG, former military (30’s),
big and bulky scans the crowd.

JAG
Semper FUCK --

Brick raises his squirt gun. SCREAMS.

BRICK
Get in FORMATION, soldiers.
Three to a side, LET’S GO --

Four groups of three go to each side.
Start SPRAYING gasoline down on the attackers.
A pair of SCREAMING INFECTEDS come over the wall.

Jag SPRAYS them.
They EXPLODE in a RED MIST -- POP.

JAG
Be all you CAN be --

Another ZOMBIE climbs over the wall.
Reaches for Reno.

She NAILS him. He EXPLODES,
drenching her with goo.

RENO
Goddammit, I just did my HAIR --

A SLOBBERING ZOMBIE flies up over the side.
Gaga NAILS him with a stream of gas in the chest.

A giant HOLE opens up,
his GUTS slide out -- and he POPS.

GAGA
It’s like a videogame --

MONSTER
I’m getting low on gas --

RENO
So am I --

BRICK
(to Hammer)
Ready for a little FIRE, scarecrow?

Hammer looks at Brick,
strapped into a flamethrower.

HAMMER
It’s Hammer-time --

He FLICKS IT ON and a
SPRAY OF FIRE SHOOTS OUT.

He SWEEPS it down across
the side of the building.

It HITS them -- and they EXPLODE
in SCREAMING FIREBALLS OF BLACK SMOKE.

Hammer RACES around the roof,
SPRAYING fire down the walls,
killing the rest,
the air now thick with smoke.

BRICK
Everybody DOWN. Cover your MOUTHS --

They all get down, pull
bandannas up over their noses.

GAGA
It smells like -- shit.

BRICK
No shit.
And breathing it will kill you.
It’s the virus, in a gaseous state.

HAMMER
That’s why we only use fire
as a last resort.

BRICK
(to Gaga)
About that vaccine.
Where does your brother live?

GAGA
Like I said, we’re Monts.
Downtown. In the Village.

BRICK
Perfect. That’s where
we’re gonna enter the republic.

GAGA
Are we going over the wall?

BRICK
Don’t be silly.
Too many armed guards.
(beat)
We’re going in through
the Holland Tunnel.

GAGA
That’s GENIUS --

BRICK
Hey. How do you think
I got to be the leader?
My good looks?

Monday, March 13, 2017

Cracking Nuts


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy reveals to Merk that Jool is a conservative, and that her father probably won't let her date a liberal ... then Merk reveals to Rommy that his sister Gaga has been rejected from the republic for getting the zombie virus ...


INT. NEIGHBORHOOD BAR - NIGHT
One of those classic, run-down,
shitty neighborhood joints
where the locals hang out.

Rommy and Merk sit at dark table
in the back with a pitcher of beer.
Eating peanuts.

ROMMY
She’s amazing. I’ve never met a girl
that’s so smart, funny, confident -- ALIVE.
(beat)
And STACKED.

MERK
So what’s where you disappeared.

ROMMY
Yeah. There’s just one problem.

MERK
What’s that?

ROMMY
Can you keep a secret?

MERK
I can, but it might keep me.

ROMMY
What? You’re always talking in riddles.

Merk smiles. CRACKS open a peanut.

MERK
You quarrel with someone for cracking nuts
because you have hazel eyes.

ROMMY
Yeah. Stuff like that.
How do you THINK of that?

MERK
That’s actually from the Bard.

ROMMY
Okay, okay -- enough. The thing is --
(sighs)
Jool’s a KAPP.

MERK
WHAT? Really?

A phone behind the bar RINGS.
The BARTENDER answers it.

ROMMY
Yeah. And she said she probably couldn’t
come downtown again because she was
gonna catch hell from her uncle.

MERK
So what are you going to do?

ROMMY
I’m gonna convince my father that
she’s different, she’s cool --
and not like your typical Kapp --
(beat)
And then I’m gonna uptown
and see her again.

Bartender calls out to Merk.
Holds up the receiver.

BARTENDER
Hey, Merk -- phone’s for you.

MERK
(looks)
Thanks.
(to Rommy)
Be right back.

He gets up. Goes to the bar.
Takes the phone. Listens.

Rommy pours another beer.
Takes a sip. Lost in thought.

Merk comes rushing back.
Looks wild-eyed.

MERK (CONT'D)
My sister got infected.
She’s been ejected from the republic --

ROMMY
What the hell? How did you --

MERK
My father. They’ve been looking for me
all day, but couldn’t find me
because of the street fair --

ROMMY
Holy shit.

MERK
No shit. I gotta go home.
C’mon, come walk with me.

EXT. BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT
The fair’s still going full-steam.
Merk and Rommy go down the sidewalk,
avoiding the crowd.

MERK
I’m going to go find her, Rommy.
Give her the vaccine.

ROMMY
Are you crazy?
Do you know how dangerous that is?

MERK
She’s my twin, Rommy. I have to.
(beat)
I’m going to give you the formula.
In case something happens to me.
It’ll be safe with you.
I trust you.

ROMMY
Okay. So what’s the plan?

MERK
Simple. Find my sister, save her life,
bring her home, and then save mankind.

ROMMY
Works for me --

Friday, March 10, 2017

They Shoot Yuppies, Don't They?


Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, conservative captain of industry Carling Kapp introduces his daughter Jool to Tate Canyon, his hand-picked husband for her, who she angrily rejects ...


INT. CARLING’S MANSION - BALLROOM - NIGHT
The crowd has thinned out.
Carling stands chatting with TATE CANYON (21).

Incredibly good-looking.
Natty in cool threads. Oozing charisma.
Great with the ladies. And a real mench.

CARLING
I don’t know where she is, Tate.
I haven’t seen her all night.

TATE
That’s a shame.
I’ve been dying to meet her.
Maybe another time --

CARLING
Would you please excuse me a moment?
I’ll be right back.

TATE
Of course.

Carling walks over to the bar
where Nin is getting a drink.

CARLING
Have you seen Jool?
I’ve been looking for her all evening.

NIN
(turns white)
No, I haven’t.

CARLING
You’re lying, Nin.
I can always tell.
Out with it.

NIN
She -- went out.

CARLING
Where did she go?

NIN
To a -- street fair.

CARLING
A street fair? Where on EARTH
is there a street fair tonight?

NIN
Uh -- downtown.

CARLING
DOWNTOWN? She went DOWNTOWN?
Why on EARTH would she want to go THERE?

NIN
Carling, she’s young. Curious.
It’s only natural that she’d want
to see how other people live.
(beat)
Think of it like -- anthropology.
CARLING

But it’s not SAFE down there.

NIN
Nonsense. She took a cab. And her gun.

CARLING
(sees something)
Jool. There you are --

IN THE DOORWAY
Stands Jool.

Carrying her shoes in her hand.
Trying to sneak in quietly. Busted.

JOOL
Uncle Carling.

CARLING
Come over here.
There’s someone I want you to meet.

Jool walks over.
Looks at Tate. Smiles blandly.

CARLING (CONT’D)
I present to you my niece, Juliet.

JOOL
Jool.

TATE
You said she was a goddess --
(takes her hand, kisses it)
Did my heart love 'til now?
Forswear its sight -- for I never
saw true beauty until this night.

She pulls her hand away.
NOT interested.

JOOL
I’m like, so sure.
Gag me with Bartlett's Quotations.

CARLING
(oblivious)
I’m sure the two of you are
going to be quite happy together.

JOOL
Excuse me?

CARLING
My dear, this is the man
you’re going to marry.

JOOL
I don’t understand.

CARLING
Tate is the heir
to the Canyon dynasty.
You should be honored.
The Times named him one of
the 'ten most eligible
bachelors in the republic.'
(big smile)
Nothing but the best for my niece --

Jool stares at Carling. Then Tate.
Speechless. Then at Nin. Who gives
her a ‘it’s news to me’ look.

CARLING (CONT’D)
My dear, are you feeling alright?
You look pale.

JOOL
On what planet do you expect me
to marry THAT yuppie gas-bag?
(to Tate)
No offense.

She turns on her heel, and quickly
MARCHES out of the room.

CARLING
What the -- ?
(calls after her)
You come back here THIS INSTANT,
young lady.

NIN
Calm down. I’ll go talk to her.

CARLING
Do that.

Nin nods. Rushes off.
Carling looks at Tate. Sighs.

CARLING (CONT’D)
I’m dreadfully sorry.
I guess I should have briefed her.

PUSH IN on Tate’s face.
His look of disappointment.

TATE
Was it something I said?

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Rock The Casbah


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, after being chased by zombies in the New Jersey wasteland, Gaga is rescued by Brick Cosmo, revolutionary army resistance soldier ...


EXT. NEW JERSEY - CITY STREET - NIGHT
Across the river, what once was a
bustling berg is now a burned-out shell.
In ruins. A deserted slum.

GAGA comes RUNNING down the street.
Pursued by the trio of
zombies we saw earlier.

They start GAINING on her.
She turns, DUCKS down an alley.
Huffing and panting.

EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT
Gaga RUNS down the alley,
the zombies in hot pursuit.

She sees a door. YANKS it open.
RUNS inside. The zombies follow.

INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Gaga TEARS ASS through the kitchen,
GRABBING pots and pans and
HURLING them at the zombies.

But they BOUNCE off them and
CLANG onto the floor. She RUNS into --

INT. ABANDONED RESTAURANT - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT
Dark. Eerie. Chairs up on tables.
Cobwebs. Rats SCURRY about.

Gaga DASHES through the room.
JUMPS under a table and hides.

The zombies RACE into the room.
Stop. Look around. Sniffing.

The front door FLIES OPEN.
A tall, rugged GUY (40’s) walks in.

Dead ringer for Bruce Campbell.
He holds a giant ‘super-soaker’ squirt gun.
Meet BRICK COSMO, revolutionary warrior.

BRICK
Eat shit and MELT, mother-undead-FUCKERS.

He SPRAYS them with a brown liquid.
The zombies fall back, SCREAMING.

Their skin BUBBLES in a WHITE MIST.
They HIT the ground and DISSOLVE
into a gooey puddle of pulp and bones.

BRICK (CONT’D)
Disgusting.

Brick puts his weapon down.
Steps around it.

BRICK (CONT’D)
You can come out now.
The coast is clear.

GAGA (O.C.)
Who-who are you?

BRICK
Brick Cosmo, soldier in the
infected revolutionary army.
C’mon out. I won’t hurt you.
(sings)
Buffalo soldier, dreadlock rasta --

Gaga comes out from under the table.
Sees the zombie puddle.

GAGA
Thanks --
(gulps)
How did you do that?

BRICK
(holds up the gun)
Believe it or not, gasoline.
Takes ‘em out faster than
you can say 'pay at the pump.'

GAGA
Why not just shoot them?

BRICK
We’re kinda low on bullets these days.

GAGA
You said -- infected revolutionary army?

BRICK
Yes, ma’am.
The revolution WON’T be televised --
but we’re still gonna kick ass.
(looks her over)
You must be a newbie. Wanna enlist?
We offer room, board and zombie protection.

GAGA
Yeah, sure. What do I need to do?

BRICK
Just follow me to our secret
headquarters, and we’ll fill you in.

EXT. ABANDONED CITY STREET - NIGHT
Brick leads Gaga down the ruined avenue.

BRICK
Keep your eyes peeled.
These mofos can MOVE.

GAGA
So how many are there
in your revolutionary army?

BRICK
Now that you’re on board, six.
But that’s just our cell.
There’s TONS of us out here,
and we’re getting ready to
rock the fucking Casbah.

GAGA
What’s your plan?

BRICK
Ever seen Escape From New York?

GAGA
Yeah, sure. I love old movies.

BRICK
Well, it’s kinda the reverse --

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Color Me Busted


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, more than sparks fly when uptown conservative girl Jool meets downtown liberal boy Rommy at the street fair ...


EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE STREET - DAY
JOOL drifts down the street.
In complete delight with all the
sights, sounds and smells of the fair.

Taking pictures with her camera.
In her element.

She throws some money in a hat
in front of a STREET MUSICIAN.

Goes to a vendor.
Buys a bouquet flowers. Sniffs them.

Then buys a piece chocolate from another.
Eats it, savoring it.

MERK
Nudges Rommy.

MERK
Look. Someone dropped a
hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk.

ROMMY
(still staring)
That’s nice.

MERK
Okay. You just stand there like a robot,
and I’m gonna go get another beer.

He walks away, shaking his head.
Jool comes into view.

Sees Rommy gaping at her.
Stops. Looks at him. Fake-angry.

JOOL
Drool much? Didn’t your mother
teach you it’s not polite to stare?

ROMMY
I’m -- sorry.

JOOL
It’s okay. Just busting your chops.

He comes out of his trance.
Faint hint of a smile.

ROMMY
Color me busted.

JOOL
(offers hand to shake)
Jool.

ROMMY
(shakes)
Rommy. Nice to meet you.
(beat)
Pretty name.

They stop shaking.
But don’t let go.

If this were animated,
we’d see an electric spark CRACKLE.

JOOL
It’s short for Juliet,
but I HATE that name.
It’s so corny.
(beat)
Is Rommy short for -- Romeo?

ROMMY
Worse. Short for Romulus.
Father’s a Trekkie.

They realize. Let go.
An awkward moment. Then --

ROMMY (CONT'D)
So you’re, uh --
enjoying the street fair?

JOOL
Yeah, it’s AMAZING.
We don’t have them where I come from.
It’s like another WORLD.

He looks at her expensive,
understated clothing. Realizes.

ROMMY
You’re -- from uptown?

JOOL
Yeah.
But I think I like it better downtown.

ROMMY
You’re a Kapp --

JOOL
Shhh. Don’t tell anyone.
What happens in Greenwich Village,
stays in Greenwich Village.

Pause.

ROMMY
You have -- the most beautiful eyes.

JOOL
(looks closely)
Yours are sad. Wounded.
Like you’ve been -
(beat)
I’m sorry. That was stupid.
I do that all the time.
I get too personal too quickly --
talk without thinking.
Some people say I talk too MUCH.
Oh, look -- there’s Chatty Kathy.

ROMMY
That’s okay. I like to talk.
I mean, talking’s good.
If people would just
talk to each other,
the world would be a --
(beat)
Would you like to get some ice cream?
(beat)
Sit and talk?

JOOL
I’d like that.

She leans in.
Kisses him on the cheek.

Then pulls away.
Surveys the damage.
Rommy’s face flushes a deep red.

ROMMY
Wh-what was that for?

JOOL
Just curious.
(beat)
I’ve never seen a boy blush like that.

PUSH IN ON Rommy’s face. Heart racing.

ROMMY
So, uh -- what’s your favorite flavor?

Monday, March 6, 2017

The Ultimate Wingman


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Jool leaves the uptown red zone and travels to the downtown blue zone to see the Greenwich Village street fair. Meanwhile, blue zone hipster Merk reveals to his friend Rommy that he's developed a vaccine for the zombie virus ... but Rommy is distracted when he sees Jool ...


EXT. FIFTH AVENUE - NIGHT
A PEDAL-RICKSHAW CAB cruises
south down Fifth Avenue,
passes giant mansions.

Airbrushed office buildings.
Tony boutiques.

We see other pedal-cabs,
and also tons of PEOPLE ON BICYCLES.

INT. RICKSHAW CAB - MOVING - NIGHT
Jool looks out the window,
full of anticipation.

THE RICKSHAW CAB
Gets to the border of midtown.
Starts passing through --

EXT. TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
Once gentrified, the infamous avenue
has returned to it’s previous squalor.

All of the fancy stores and restaurants
are now home to peep shows, strip clubs,
bars and whore houses.

The Gap sign now reads THE GASH.
We see signs for CRATE AND ASSHOLE.
STARFUCKS. JAMBA COOZE. S&M’S. HOOTERS.

JOOL
Looks out the window. Silently gasps
at the motley crew of STREET TRASH milling about.

THE RICKSHAW CAB
Continues on downtown. The streets now
lined with ancient BROWNSTONES.

A STREET VENDOR hawks his wares.
The people look young, hip.

A bohemian kid plays
a guitar on the corner.

JOOL
Smiles. Likes what she sees.

JOOL
He’s cute.

EXT. GREENWICH VILLAGE - BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT
A STREET FAIR in full-swing.
Rows of booths and stalls filled
with food from around the world.

A ROCK BAND plays on a raised platform.
A throng of SMILING PARTIERS mill about.

CAMERA finds two YOUNG GUYS (17)
walking through the fair.
Deep in conversation.

YOUNG GUY
I’m not ready yet, Merk.
It’s too soon.

Meet ROMMY MONT. Nice guy, but awkward.
Shy. Always deep in thought. Looks wounded.
Haunted. One of those borderline types.
Could transcend ‘nerd’ -- if he’d only try.

Think Ryan Gosling.
Divided by Jessie Eisenberg.
With a dash of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Dressed a bit too geeky in
pressed jeans and a sweater vest.
Longish hair in search of a style.

MERK
Too soon? It’s been over a year.
You need to move on.
You’ve elevated the grieving
process into an art form.
You need to get laid, my good man.
(waves his hand at the throng)
I mean, look at this sea of female flesh.
All you need to do is dive in.

Meet MERK ROWE, Rommy’s best friend,
already pre-med. Smart. Funny.
The ultimate wing-man.

Tall and thin, with eyes
that twinkle with mischief.
Rakish in a vintage Ramones T.

ROMMY
I don’t see the point. Why even try?
We’ll never get off this island,
and until there’s a cure for the virus --
(gestures)
You’re just setting yourself up
for disappointment.

MERK
(low)
Can you keep a secret?

ROMMY
What?

MERK
I was working at the school
lab last night --
(looks around)
And I think I discovered something.

ROMMY
What?

MERK
A cure.

ROMMY
For the VIRUS?

MERK
Shhhh --
(beat)
Yeah. I just need to try it
on someone who’s infected.

ROMMY
You’re not shitting me?

MERK
I shit you not, my lord.

Rommy stops in his tracks.
Sees something. Stares.

MERK (CONT'D)
This is the part where
you call me a genius.
(sees him staring)
What are you looking at?
(beat)
Hello, Earth to Rommy,
Earth to Rommy.
Come in, come in.
We’ve lost your signal.
(beat)
HELLO.

IN THE CROWD

We see JOOL, drifting down
the street toward them.

In complete delight with all the
sights, sounds and smells of the fair.

Taking pictures with her camera.
In her element.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

A Bird In A Gilded Cage


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, we travel to the Republic of Manhattan's upper east side, where the conservative Kapp family hosts a glittering party for the one percent. Meanwhile, upstairs in her bedroom, heiress Jool Kapp pleads with her nanny to let her go downtown to Greenwich Village liberal street fair ...


EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE - MANSION - NIGHT
A tony, upper-crust monstrosity
on upper Fifth Avenue.

Three stories of vulgarity.
Takes up the whole block.
Nothing succeeds like excess.

A line of stretch limos spill out
DIGNITARIES, CELEBRITIES and other
SUPER-RICH ASSHOLES who then
walk up the red carpet to
the entrance with their BODYGUARDS.

INT. MANSION - GRAND BALLROOM - NIGHT
Like something out of Versailles.
GUESTS mingle, take drinks and
finger sandwiches from SERVANTS.

Onstage, GREEN DAY plays for the crowd.
In their 60’s, they still rock.

CAMERA finds CARLING KAPP (50’),
scion of the family.

Distinguished good looks. Big smile.
You’d smile, too if you lived here.
He charms a group standing around him.

CARLING
My dear, Harlem HAD to be burned down.
We have BIG PLANS for the area.

ANOREXIC SOCIETY MATRON
Oh? And what exactly ARE
your plans, my dear Carling?

CARLING
A country club RESORT --
surrounding a LAKE.

BIG, FAT CAPITALIST PIG
Astounding, my dear boy.
And I assume membership
will be restricted?

CARLING
But of course --
(sips his champagne)
Of course, given that our construction
methods have become rather medieval
as of late, it will take some time --

BIG, FAT CAPITALIST PIG
Quite.
But first we have to pillage all the OIL.

CARLING
(smiles, raises his glass)
Drill, baby, drill.

They all LAUGH.

INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - NIGHT
Part of a lux suite of rooms
on an upper floor. Very grand.

Tasteful. Tons of books.
A big, old globe.

Old-school computer
with a giant monitor.
A big record library.

Sitting on the bed is JOOL KAPP (17),
Carling’s niece.

Very pretty, but doesn’t work it.
No makeup. Hair in a tomboyish bob.
Smart. Feisty. Strong. Tons of self-will.

Think a young Kate Hepburn.
With a dash of Ellen Page.

Rakish in slacks,
fitted jacket and boots.

JOOL
But I don’t want to go down there.
I can’t stand those people.

They’re all phonies. My IQ goes down
a point every minute I’m around them.

All they care about is
money, class, privilege.

They have no conception about
what’s really important in life.

Standing nearby is NIN (40’s),
Jool’s nanny since childhood.

Smart. Sleek. Very Emma Peel.
Now Jool’s advisor. Confidant.

NIN
But your Uncle Carling expects
you to make an appearance.

JOOL
Tough toenails.
I’m just a trophy to him.
Something to show off.

NIN
Can’t you just humor him?

JOOL
No, I can’t.
I’m a person, Nin -- not a THING.
(off her look)
And I’m tired of being cooped
up in this mausoleum.
I feel trapped.
Like a bird in a gilded cage.
I want to GO OUT.
See the world. Explore.

NIN
Out? Where?
You know the streets aren’t safe.

JOOL
Fiddlesticks. I’m a big girl.
I can take of myself.

NIN
Oh, you can, can you.
And where do you plan on going?

JOOL
Downtown.

NIN
Why on earth would you
want to go downtown?

JOOL
There’s a big Tenth of October street
fair tonight, totally old-school.
Food, drink, live music, you know --
a street fair.

NIN
Ah, yes. I’ve read about those --

JOOL
I can take a cab and
have them wait for me.
It’ll totally be safe.
And I won’t stay long. I promise.
I just wanna see
regular people having FUN.
What’s so wrong about that?

NIN
Kind of like -- anthropology.

JOOL
Exactly. So can I go? Please?

NIN
You feel very strongly about this --
(beat)
Go. Have fun.
But be back by eleven, okay?

JOOL
YES. Thank you, Nin. THANK YOU.
(clasps her hands)
Omigod, I’m so excited I could plotz.

NIN
I expect a full report when you get back.
(beat)
Oh. And don’t forget your gun.

JOOL
Of course not.

She walks over to her desk.
Opens a drawer. Pulls out a
SIG SAUER MOSQUITO.
RACKS out the clip. Checks it.
SHOVES it back in, CHINK.
Puts it her purse.
Looks at Nin. Smiles brightly.

JOOL
Don’t leave home without it.