Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Doctor's Orders


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of FULL BODY, receptionist Reynolds Tan gives Summer, Lindsey, Ayanna and Catalina their next massage assignments, which include a Navy Seal, a black ops spook and the Turkish Ambassador, but when Ayanna starts her session with the Surgeon General, she's delighted to discover he's brought some 'samples' with him ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT
Reynolds gazes levelly at Summer,
Lindsey, Ayanna and Catalina.

Picks up a clipboard.
Taps it with her pen.

REYNOLDS
Alright, listen up. Ayanna.
You have Dr. Almond,
from the Surgeon General’s office.
In the Red Suite.

AYANNA
Guess it’s time for my physical.

REYNOLDS
Lindsey, you get
Lieutenant Gus Harden,
United States Navy.
He’s a SEAL.

LINDSEY
Trained?

REYNOLDS
Funny.
He’s in the Blue Suite.
(beat)
Catalina, your next client
is Omar Turgenoff,
the Turkish Ambassador.
In the Black.

CATALINA
I hope he’s a -- young Turk.

REYNOLDS
All of you with the jokes.
(scans the sheet)
Ah.
And Summer --
you get Dwight Blank.
In the Gold Suite.

SUMMER
At least he sounds normal.
What’s he do?

REYNOLDS
Classified.
He’s a spook.
Black OPS.
On a ‘need to rub’
basis only.

SUMMER
Great.
More national security.

REYNOLDS
Consider it an initiation.
Kind of like
a sorority hazing.

LINDSEY
Then what are we
doing standing around?
We’ve got work to do.
Men to please.
Towels to soil.

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face.
Hiding her fear.

INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Ayanna lounges in the spa.
Drinks champagne.

In steps DR. CHICK ALMOND (70’s).
A tall, gaunt, wizened
shadow of a man.

Large eyes, like a Keane child.
He eases grey, hairless,
ruined limbs carefully
into the water.

AYANNA
So have you found
the cure for AIDS yet,
Dr. Almond?

CHICK
Chick.
Call me Chick.

AYANNA
What, are you gay?

CHICK
It’s a name from
another era, I’m afraid.
Sort of like
‘Edna’ or ‘Slim.’
Can I get a bit
of that bubbly?
Water’s hot.
(winks)
And so are you.

AYANNA
Honey, if my skin
wasn’t so dark,
you’d see me blush.

CHICK
Honey, the last time
you blushed George Bush
was knee-deep in
Bolivian booger sugar.
(beat)
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha --
just fucking with you.
Get what you pay for, eh?

AYANNA
(pours drink, haughty)
Sometimes what you think
you’re buying turns out
to be a rental.
And the price is too high.

CHICK
Touche.
I see you’re not a strumpet.
Speaking of ‘high’ --

AYANNA
What the fuck’s a 'strumpet?'

CHICK
Ah, vocabulary.
A -- lady of the evening.

AYANNA
Hell, no.
I went to the Sorbonne.
Speak four languages.
AND am descended
from Ghanaian ROYALTY.
Don’t make me laugh.
(beat)
You said ‘speaking of high.’
You have something naughty
in your little black bag?

CHICK
I thought you’d never ask.

AYANNA
I would imagine the
Surgeon General’s office
has only the best.

CHICK
Sweetie.
You have no idea --

Monday, April 21, 2014

Funeral Parlor Games


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of FULL BODY, Croatian massage spa manager Etya Vlaovic gets a phone call from her mother Mavra informing her that she's going to assassinate her father. The problem is, Etya attended Mavra's funeral, and is now more than a little freaked out to find out she's 'back from the dead' ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - ETYA’S OFFICE - NIGHT
The empress of the damned
reviews the books.

Picks up a bottle of vodka.
Pours a shot.
Slugs it down.

ETYA
This place is cash cow.
One hundred fifty-thousand per week.
(pours shot, raises it)
Capitalism -- the God I pray to.

Knocks it back.
She dabs her mouth
with a sleeve.

Rubs her hands together.
Goes to the safe.

Starts working the dial.
The door CLICKS.

Opens.

Etya pulls out a
banded wad of hundreds.

Stuffs it in her pocket.
The phone RINGS.

ETYA
Ach.

She closes the safe.
THUNK.

Goes to the phone.
Picks up. Listens.

Her eyes bug.
Face turns white.

ETYA
Is not possible!
You are dead!
(listens)
Who is this?
Tell me!
(listens)
But we buried you -- we --
(listens)
I’m not afraid of you!
You can go fuck yourself!

Etya SLAMS down the phone.
Starts pacing. Freaked.

ETYA
Is not possible --
I kiss her goodbye --
close lid --
is like magic trick --

She goes to the desk.
GRABS the bottle.

Takes a big chug.
PUNCHES numbers on the phone.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. WASHINGTON MONUMENT - REFLECTING POOL - NIGHT
Yuri sits on a bench.

Squinting, trying to
read a newspaper
in the dim light
of a street lamp.

A COUPLE passes by.
Yuri lowers the paper.
Watches them.

YURI
To be young
and have horniness.

He pulls out a bag
from his coat pocket.

Fishes out a heel
of dark bread.

Breaks off a piece
with his teeth.
Chews.

A MOUSE jumps up on the bench.
Whiskers sniffing.

YURI
Hello, little fella.
You hungry?

He breaks off
a small piece.

The mouse rears up
on his hind legs.

Yuri gives it to him.
Rapid-fire CHEWING.
Gulp.

YURI
Is good, no?
Croatian peasant bread.
Oats and barley.
A few nuts.
Is good for long winter.
And bowel movement.

Yuri gives him another piece.
Smiles, childlike.

YURI
You are cute little fella.
I call you -- Oogie.

A RINGING in his pocket.
He fishes out his cell.

SNAPS it open.
Listens --

ETYA
Poppa, she’s ALIVE.
Mavra is ALIVE.
She called me --

YURI
Is not possible,
we BURIED her.

ETYA
I know that, but body
must be switched
at last moment.
How else do you explain?

YURI
I don’t know.
(scared)
What did she
say to you?

ETYA
She said she was
going to -- kill you.

YURI
But she always said that.
What make you think
it different now?

ETYA
I don’t know --
maybe she knows
you tried to POISON her?

Friday, April 18, 2014

A Little Pick-Me-Up


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Good Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of FULL BODY, newbie masseuse Summer Donovan has a meltdown after playing S/M games with the former Vice President, so gal pal Lindsay Lette gives her a 'miracle cure' ... in a tiny glass vial. Meanwhile, Croatian mob boss wife Mavra Vlaovic arranges a meet with Serbian agent Silke Derevko, who's shocked to find out she's returned from the dead ...


INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer massages Cammy. Slowly. Carefully.

He lies on his back.
Eyes closed. In heaven.

BISBY
Dominance and submission
is a lost art.
It’s about respect.
Power. Release. NOT pain.
S and M, whips and chains,
bondage and discipline
are for perverts.
This is about order.
A way for someone to have control
in a world that’s in disarray.
Or for someone who
has to follow rules, a protocol,
a way to let go of control --
and find peace.
(beat)
And the roles are fluid.
Where your desires
can flip mid-stream.
(beat)
Do you understand?

SUMMER
Yes, I do, it’s --
fascinating, sir.
Master --

BISBY
I’m glad you think so.

He leans up on his elbows.
Little boy look in his eyes.

BISBY (CONT’D)
(squeaky, high-pitched)
Please, Mommy, I know
I’ve been a bad boy --
but will you please
powder my pee-pee?

PUSH IN ON Summer.
Staring. Open-mouthed.

INT. RITZ CARLTON SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Mavra inspects her new digs. Lux deluxe.

She goes to the couch.
Opens a briefcase on the coffee table.

Pulls out a book.
Opens it, to reveal --

A CHROME HANDGUN. In pieces.
Assembly required. She smiles.

Fingers a number on her cell.
Walks out onto the terrace.

OUTSIDE
She squints in the bright sunshine.
Slides on her shades.

SPLIT SCREEN WITH:

EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE - DAY
SILKE DEREVKO (50) sits alone at a table.
A sleepy-eyed Serbian hipster
in stubble and leather.

Smokes a black cigarette.
His phone RINGS.
He SNATCHES it.

MAVRA
(into her cell)
Hello, Poppa Bear?

SILKE
RED?
Is that you?

MAVRA
Surprise, surprise.

SILKE
I thought you were -- gone.

MAVRA
The rumors of my demise were --
of my own doing.

SILKE
I see.
Business or pleasure?

MAVRA
Later for pleasure.
First, business.
I have job.

SILKE
Not on phone.
Where do we -- ?

MAVRA
Princess Stefanie von Taxi und Drang
is having costume ball
at Croatian embassy.

SILKE
That is social event of year.
You have invitation?

MAVRA
Dahling.
I never need invitation --

INT. EMPLOYEE’S LADIES ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer looks in the mirror.
Haunted. Shaking.

She turns on the faucet. Hard.
About to splash water on her face, when --

She sees a SEMEN STAIN on her top.
LOSES IT. Retching, heaving sobs.

Lindsey FLIES through the door.
Stops.

LINDSEY
Summer!

Lindsey grabs her.
Hugs tight.
Strokes her hair.

SUMMER
I don’t -- I can’t -- I --

LINDSEY
Shhhhhhh, it’s okay.
It’s okay -- let it out, let it out --

Summer does.
We hold on this.

She quiets down.
Pulls away.

SUMMER
Was it -- hard for you the first time?

LINDSEY
Does a bear think with his dick
in the woods?

SUMMER
(hint of a smile)
This place is -- freaky.

LINDSEY
What keeps me going is --
I tell myself this is -- temporary.

SUMMER
Temporary.

LINDSEY
(smiles, holds up a vial)
And then I have myself
a little pick-me-up.

SUMMER
Is that -- coke?

Lindsey nods.
Does a bump on the left nostril.

Then the right.
Offers it. Beaming.

LINDSEY
Try it, you’ll like it.

SUMMER
What about security?

LINDSEY
Are you kidding?
This place is more corrupt
than Capitol hill.
This is DC, baby --
the home of the high
and the land of the freeze.
(presses into Summer’s hand)
Come on, it’ll make you feel godlike.

Summer stares at the vial.

LINDSEY (CONT’D)
And it’ll make that
fucker’s face go away.

SUMMER
Promise?

She INHALES a bump.
And another.
Shakes her head.

SUMMER (CONT’D)
My throat, it --

LINDSEY
That’s the drip.
Swallow.

Summer’s eyes BURN with pleasure.
She smiles.

LINDSEY (CONT'D)
Welcome to the Pleasuredome.

SUMMER
Let’s party.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Let's Play Master & Servant


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of FULL BODY, in a stunning plot twist, we learn that receptionist Reynolds Tan is actually an undercover agent on a sting to take down The International spa. Meanwhile, Summer Donvan learns the ropes of bondage and discipline with her new client, former Vice President Cameron Bisby ... while, at that moment, manager Etya Vlaovic's mother Mavra arrives on a flight from Croatia, packing more than heat ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT
The room is empty.
Reynolds speaks in to her headset.

REYNOLDS
Boss?
I’m going to take five for a smoke.
(listens)
Great, thanks.
(hangs up)
Communist cunt.

EXT. THE INTERNATIONAL - BACK ALLEY - AT THAT MOMENT
Reynolds lights up a super-long Capri.
Fingers a number on her cell phone.
Listens.

REYNOLDS
Reynolds Tan for Detective Nassour.
(listens)
Ali? It’s me, Reynolds.
(listens)
Watching her like a hawk.
Are you ready with the sting?
(listens)
Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, sir,
could you please hurry it the fuck up?
It’s been over a year now,
and I’m losing a layer of skin
from scrubbing off the sleaze every night.
(listens)
Hold on tight?
Hold on TIGHT?
What the fuck do you think I --
(listens)
Hello? Ali -- ?
(listens)
Goddamn fucking Cingular wireless.
Roaming my ass.

INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Nouvelle Vague’s sultry French-femme bossa nova
cover of Public Image’s THIS IS NOT A LOVE SONG over --

Cammy.

Decked out in a black mask,
studded harness and buckled bondage boots.

In power.
Or, ready for Halloween.

Summer trembles in a tiny
rubber French maid outfit.

Holds a feather duster like a wand.
Bites her lower lip.

BISBY
Breathtaking.
(meaningfully)
How do you feel?

SUMMER
Uh -- exposed?

BISBY
Master.
Exposed, master.

SUMMER
I’m sorry?

BISBY
You call me master.
When I ask you a question,
you answer ‘master.’
Understand?

SUMMER
(scared)
Yes -- master.

BISBY
Good.
Now get down on your knees.

SUMMER
But I thought I was going to --

BISBY
Do it! NOW.
On your KNEES.
Or you will be punished.

SUMMER
Y-yes, sir -- master.

She awkwardly gets down. Kneels.

BISBY
Now put the riding crop in your mouth.

Summer does.
Face turns red.

BISBY (CONT’D)
Good girl. Yes.
She’s humiliated. Lovely.
I believe I see a small tear.
(brightly)
Okay. Massage time.

EXT. DC INTERNATIONAL AIPORT - TARMAC - AT THAT MOMENT
The swirling, ominous Soviet-block new wave bleat of
Lene Lovich’s HOME roils a dark cloud over --

An airplane pulling up to the passenger chute.
AIR CROATIA.

LENE LOVICH (V.O.)
Home is where the heart is,
home is so remote,
home is just emotion,
sticking in my throat --

IN THE WAITING AREA
a line of Eastern-Europeans
silently file in. Exhausted.

ANGLE ON:
A WOMAN IN BLACK (late 40’s)
leads the pack.

Red lips curled with self-satisfaction.
Striking.

Despite the shades and hat,
we sense the Chanel-clad lioness
is a real stunner.

Meet MAVRA VLAOVIC.
Striding purposely.
On a mission.

Black vinyl thigh-high boots
stop short of her micro-mini.
CLACK-CLACKING in time --

And we realize the music
is on her Ipod.

ON THE MOVING SIDEWALK
she glides by. Imperious.

Men look. Double take.
There’s that smile again.
Damn. She knows it.

MAVRA
(sings along)
Let’s go to your place,
let’s go to your place --

A GREY SUIT
approaches her.
Offers his card.

She WHACKS it away, regal. Laughs.
He shrinks away.

Struck down.
Humiliated.

AT THE CUSTOMS WINDOW
A SURLY AGENT appraises her.

SURLY AGENT
You haff anything to declare?

MAVRA
I do not.
(lowers shades, eyes glinting)
Do you?

The agent’s eyes flicker. Wow.

SURLY AGENT
Welcome to America, Ms. Vlaovic.

MAVRA
Miss Vlaovic, dahling.

She pulls out a cigarette case.
Slides out a red Sherman.

SURLY AGENT
I’m sorry, but there’s no smoking.

Mavra lights up.
Eyes taunting.

MAVRA
Well, then yoo better point way
to my limousine before
I become enemy of state --

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Deal Or No Deal


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of FULL BODY, newbie masseuse Summer Donovan is in for the ride of her life when she meets her next client, former US Vice President Cameron Bisby ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - CORRIDOR - DAY
The big band cocktail-swing of Paul Anka’s cover
of Nirvana’s SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT over --

Summer walks down
the Persian-carpet
flanked by two grim-looking
SECRET SERVICE AGENTS.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
(touches his earpiece)
Mountaineer.
Approaching the lair.

PUDGY AGENT
Don’t use the word ‘lair.’
It sounds -- jokey.

They arrive at a black door.
Summer goes for the knob.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
Please, Miss.
Allow us.
You don’t know what
could be on the other side
of that door.

PUDGY AGENT
Deal or no deal.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
Now look who’s being jokey.

SUMMER
Are you guys
really Secret Service?

INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - MOMENTS LATER
Summer sits on the massage table
while the men scan the room.

They hold I-pod looking
devices with earphones.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
The lair is clean.

PUDGY AGENT
You won’t let go
of the lair thing, huh?

He walks over the video monitor.
Takes out a small rubber cap.
Places it over the lens.

IN THE SECURITY ROOM
on the monitor,
The Presidential Seal.

With the word ‘Classified’
in block letters underneath.

ROD
Shit.

IN THE MASSAGE ROOM

TALL, OLDER AGENT
(into his lapel)
Mountaineer to Shadowboxer.
Okay to bring in Dirk Diggler.

PUDGY AGENT
Dirk Diggler?
Like from --

TALL, OLDER AGENT
Don’t look at me,
I didn’t pick it.

The door opens.
In walks --

CAMERON BISBY, (50’S)
former U.S. Vice President.

Small and squirly.
Almost too good-looking.

Frozen smile part
deer in the headlights,
part bland emptiness.

He raises his hands.

BISBY
At ease, gentlemen.
Thank you for the escort,
but you can leave now.
It’s starting to look like
a gang-bang in here.
(looks at Summer)
Got a top-secret meetin.’
Heh-heh.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
We can’t do that sir,
national security --

PUDGY AGENT
Yes sir, what if
someone tried to --

BISBY
Kill me?
Please, gimmee a break.
Who’d want to kill me?
I left the White House
fifteen years ago.
Took David Letterman
over a year
to stop crackin’
jokes about me.
Go on now.
Leave me be.
I need my R&R,
take a break from the --
uh -- stuff I gotta --

The Agents stifle a chuckle.
Bow. Leave.

BISBY (CONT’D)
(starts untying his tie)
So what’s your name,
little lady?

SUMMER
Summer -- sir.

BISBY
Summer breeze,
makes me feel fine.
Pretty name.
Parents were hippies?

SUMMER
No, sir.
Just -- imaginative.

BISBY
Enough of the
'sir' stuff, Summer.
Call me Cammy.
All my friends do.

SUMMER
'Cammy?'

BISBY
(touches her face)
Music to my ears --

A BULGE appears
in his pants.

He looks down.

BISBY
Well now, looks like
I’m running for re-erection --

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Dead Weight


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of FULL BODY, newbie masseuse Summer Donovan discovers that her next client will be escorted by the Secret Service, which can only mean one thing. Meanwhile, spa owner Yuri Vlaovic meets with dance instructor Yitzi, who is helping him blackmail a US senator ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - BREAK ROOM - DAY
Summer and Lindsey huddle
around the coffee maker
in the kitchenette area.

Summer looks spooked.
Lindsey, in shock.

SUMMER
Nice to meet you, too -- I --

LINDSEY
Are you okay?

SUMMER
I should be asking you --

LINDSEY
Yeah.

SUMMER
Are you -- okay?

LINDSEY
The crusty old fuck
croaked on my watch.
I’m not okay.
(beat)
I’ll be okay.
(beat)
It was fucking scary.

SUMMER
Yeah.

LINDSEY
Welcome to the
house of hand release.
How you like it so far?

SUMMER
The jury’s still out.
I haven’t had a client yet.
I had the --
instructional massage from --

LINDSEY
Ayanna?
The queen of pain?
(off Summer’s nod)
Stay away from her.
She’s a mess.
Descended from royalty,
stripped of her trust fund,
she’s a party girl
going straight to hell.
I wouldn’t trust her
with a used tampon.

AYANNA (O.C.)
He was so fucking huge,
it took FOUR men
to carry the stretcher. T
hey shoulda had one of those
signs that said ‘double wide.’

REVEAL Ayanna. Laughing.
Catalina trailing behind her.

CATALINA
You’re terrible.
He might die.

AYANNA
That’s why they call it
‘dead weight.’

LINDSEY
Well, at least he went out
with a smile on his face.

CATALINA
(to Summer)
You must be Summer.
Hi. I’m Catalina.

SUMMER
Like the dressing. Hi.

CATALINA
The dressing?
What dressing?

SUMMER
When I was a kid,
my favorite salad
dressing was ‘Catalina,’
a sickenly sweet French dressing --
it was a bright red that
doesn’t exist in nature.
I eventually outgrew it.

AYANNA
Well, look who’s
all bubbly and shit
with the childhood reminiscences.

ETYA (O.S.)
Girls.
There you are.

ETYA
marches into the room.
Imperious.

ETYA (CONT’D)
That vas quite the commotion.
I’m glad you are taking
little break and recovering.
Female bonding and sharing
of life experiences.
Ah, the sisterhood.
Kind of like ‘The View,’ no?
And Summer is new co-host.
(looks at watch)
Okay, break time over.
Go see Reynolds for
next appointments.
(to Summer)
Ms. Donovan, I need
to speak to you alone.

The other girls leave.
Etya’s eyes glint with lust.

SUMMER
Did I do something wrong?

ETYA
(walks over to her)
Of course not,
my little tikva.
I just wanted to prep you
for your first client.

SUMMER
P-prep me?

Etya puts her hands
on Summer’s shoulders.

ETYA
He will have his
own security with him --

SUMMER
His own security?

Etya leans closer.
A wolf ready to pounce.

ETYA
Ja.
The Secret Service.

SUMMER
The Secret Service?
But that’s for --

PUSH IN ON Summer.
Pulling away.
Realizing the implications.

EXT. DANCE STUDIO - AT THAT MOMENT
A run-down looking studio
on the ground floor in the
cheap seats side of town.

A large hand-painted sign reads
‘Yitzi’s Dancing Academy.
Let me take you to the stars.’

INT. YITZI’S STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
Xavier Cugat’s bizarre cha-cha-cha
cover of GOLDFINGER over --

A large dance floor.
Mirrors everywhere.
Flashing lights.

The obligatory disco ball.
Joint deserted.
Except for --

YURI
doing a wicked tango
with YITZI (50’s).

Former knockout.
Now knocked around a bit.

But still Eastern Europe’s
answer to Ginger Rogers.

She STOMPS her
cha-cha heels. TWIRLS --

And her left cone-missile
JABS Yuri in the shoulder.

YURI
Vatch it, doll-face.
You have license for that?

YITZI
License to carry.

YURI
License to kill
is more like it.

They tango across
the dance floor.

YURI (CONT’D)
We on for payoff?

YITZI
Is ready.
He said to be at
reflecting pool near
Vashington Monument at midnight.

YURI
You’re giving me monument in pants.
Why the cloak-and-dagger-stuff?
Can’t we just meet in bar over wodka?

YITZI
You’re fucking blackmailing him.
Vat do you expect?

YURI
Fucking crooked government official.
Can’t have drink with comrade,
not sure I trust him.

YITZI
I can think of one hundred thousand
reasons why you should trust him.
(beat)
And I took the pictures --

YURI
Don’t worry.
You’ll get your ten percent.

She reaches down and
GRABS Yuri by the balls.

YURI (CONT’D)
Ow! Hey!

YITZI
I know that.
And is now TWENTY percent.
(lets go, CLAPS loudly)
Okay!
Is time for Mambo!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Pecking Orders


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of FULL BODY, French/African 'head masseuse' Ayanna Prouxl shows newbie Summer Donovan the ropes of working at The International spa. Meanwhile, Australian spitfire services defense contractor 'Big Willie' Birmingham ... with deadly results.


INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - DAY
Ayanna holds up a LARGE BANANA.
Summer sits, cross-legged.

AYANNA
I thought this would be subtler
than the rubber penis.
And I’m hungry.

SUMMER
You don’t have to --
show me how to give -

AYANNA
A hand job?
So you’ve had experience?

SUMMER
Well, I -- I was a cheerleader.

AYANNA
Well, well.
So you’re an archetype.
Then I’m sure you can show me
a thing or two.

SUMMER
Oh, no -- I’ve only had one boyfriend.

AYANNA
Let me guess.
The captain of the football team.

SUMMER
No.
He was in the band.
He played that big drum?

AYANNA
Do you mean to say
that you are a virgin?

SUMMER
No.
Of course not.

AYANNA
Good.
This is no place for virgins.

She peels the banana.
Slowly. Seductively.

Takes a large bite.
Swallows luxuriously.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
You need to know the
pecking order around here.
I’m the senior girl.
Next in line
to be receptionist --
I was supposed to be next,
but that bitch
stabbed me in the back.

She wolfs down the rest.
An animal.
Licks her lips.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
If you need advice, sex tips,
anything, come to me.
All the girls do.
I will help you, protect you,
keep you from evil.
And don’t trust that cunt
Reynolds up front.
She’s a cheating, lying,
conniving, slant-eyed WHORE.
(SLAPS the table with the peel)
Understand?

SUMMER
(nods slowly)
Uh-huh.

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face.
Heart pounding.

INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
From behind, we see Lindsey
put on the strap-on harness.

LINDSEY
I can’t use this on you,
it’s against the rules --
but I suppose it’s alright
if I just wear it.

She SNAPS on the ‘equipment.’

LINDSEY (CONT’D)
Ha.
Now I’M well-hung.
Kinda like it, kinda
makes me feel powerful.

Lindsey rotates her hips.
We hear rubber SLAP the table.

LINDSEY (CONT’D)
Whooo!
Ride ‘em cowboy!
Yippie kai-yay, motherfucker!

Willie lifts his torso
up by his elbows.
Then his hands.
Tries to sit upright.

WILLIE
Goddammit.
I gotta see this, I --

His face turns red.
Struggles to lift his massive girth --

WILLIE (CONT’D)
Hmmph, ug, uh --

And he makes it.

LINDSEY
Alright pardna, git ready
for some ropin’ and ridin’!

Willie clutches his chest.
CRIES OUT.

WILLIE
Oh! Ow! Help!
Goddamit! Ah! Ah! Ah!

His face turns BRIGHT RED.

LINDSEY
Shit! No!
You are NOT going to fucking DIE!

She RUNS to the phone at the bar.
PUNCHES numbers.

ON A VIDEO MONITOR

LINDSEY (V.O.) (CONT'D)
(on the phone, into the camera)
Security! Rod! Etya!
Client down!
Call the paramedics!

Rod leans over.
Talks into a microphone.

ROD
Roger.
I’m calling ‘em.
Don’t touch him.
Don’t do anything.

He giggles.
Starts dialing the phone.

ROD (CONT'D)
(to himself)
This count as a snuff film?

LINDSEY
starts POUNDING on Willie’s chest.

The door FLIES OPEN.
Etya runs in --

ETYA
Out of way!
Stop doing that!
You’ll fucking kill him!

LINDSEY
But he’s already dying!

Etya pushes her out of the way.
Climbs on top of Willie.

Starts giving him mouth-to-mouth.
Pulls back, disgusted.

ETYA
American pig tastes like PORK!

Willie’s body starts RATTLING.

LINDSEY
Do something!
He’s gonna die!

The big man FLOPS like a fish.
Gurgles. Stops. Lights out.

LINDSEY (CONT'D)
Ohmigod.
Why is this HAPPENING?

ETYA
What you expect happen when
fat fucks get fucked-up
fantasies fulfilled?

A siren WAILS in the distance.