Monday, September 1, 2014

What's Love Got To Do With It?


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Labor Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 1 of BLUE HOTEL, we take a trip to a Venice Beach boardwalk dive hotel, where we meet hooker Alona Tal, who right now is fucking the shit out of her squeeze Begger Leck, a low-level drug dealer ... while waifish neighbor Holly Land listens to them through the air duct. Meanwhile, halfway across town, school teacher Gil Sherry is on the phone with his wife, making plans for dinner ... but the plot thickens when he pulls a photo of Alona out of his pocket ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH - HOTEL - DUSK
The boardwalk. Quiet on a late summer weeknight.

A lone HOMELESS WOMAN sleeps
in front of a chained-up storefront.

CAMERA passes various businesses,
now closed for the night.

Joints selling T-shirts.
Pizza. Hats. Cheap tourist shit.

CAMERA stops on an old hotel.
Peeling blue paint.

Cracked steps lead up
into a dingy foyer.

Sign reads THE STARLIGHT.
On the ground floor, a small bar.
THE STARLIGHT LOUNGE.

INT. STARLIGHT HOTEL - NIGHT
CAMERA creeps down a long, dark, hallway.

Faded, shitty prints of ships at sea
on the walls. We stop at room 23.

INT. SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Cool jazz on a boombox.
Maybe Coltrane or Miles, over --

Dark. Cluttered. Cozy.
Lit by a red bulb in a tiny lamp.
A few candles.

A WOMAN is making love with a MAN (20’s)
on the bed. Incense burning.

Meet ALONA TAL (30),
heartbreakingly beautiful.

Long, jet black hair to her waist.
Hot-blooded. Soft caramel skin.

Been ridden more a few miles.
But still turns heads.

She’s on top. In control.
Her hair fans down across her chest.

Riding him, rhythmically.
Eyes closed. In pure bliss.

ALONA
Ride me, COWBOY --

INT. ANOTHER SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Next door, we see a YOUNG WOMAN (21)
sitting at a table against the wall.

A painting has been taken down.
Behind it, an air duct,
her ear pressed against it. Listening.

ALONA (O.C.)
Giddyap, motherfucker -- FUCK ME.

Meet HOLLY LAND (22), waifish, comely.
Silky auburn tresses fall to her shoulders.

Looks tired, but still lovely.
She pours vodka into a plastic cup.

Takes a sip. Licks her lips.
Presses her ear against the vent again. Listens.

ALONA (O.C.)
Ohmyfucking GOD!

She reaches down, starts touching herself.

EXT. BAY STREET SCHOOL - DUSK
A tony, private ‘progressive’ school
for the kids of rich, left-leaning
Santa Monica hipsters.

The kind that shop at Whole Foods.
Do yoga. You get the idea.
Urth Cafe, anyone?

INT. BAY STREET SCHOOL - CLASSROOM - CONTINUOUS
The amber light of sunset streams through
the venetian blinds into the classroom.
Quiet. Empty. Except for --

A MAN (40’s) sits at a desk
at the head of the class.

Meet GILL SHERRY, good-looking,
in a frumpy kinda way.

But still buff. The cool teacher.
The kind the girls swoon over.

Right now he’s grading papers.
He checks his watch.

Goes back to his work.
His cell phone RINGS.
He picks it up. Listens.

GILL
Hi, honey --
(listens)
You better start without me.
I’ve got a couple of student conferences --
(listens)
I’ll grab something on the way home.
You need anything?
(listens)
Love you, too. Bye.

He hangs up.
Checks his watch. Sighs.

Stares into space.
He pulls out a small picture.
We see it’s Alona.

GILL
One more hour, my love,
and my torture will end.
(kisses the picture)
Without you I am incomplete.

INT. ALONA’S SHITTY HOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Alona sits up in bed smoking a cigarette.
A lazy, ‘just got laid’ smile on her face.
She sips from a bottle of Corona.

ALONA
You sure know how to satisfy a gal, Beggar.

BEGGAR LECK (30’s), buff, former bodybuilder,
with a mane of black hair,
pulls on his pants.

Still great-looking,
but now a little puffy.
Bright blue eyes now a bit bloodshot.

He lights up a joint.
Takes a big hit.

BEGGAR
Beggars can’t be choosers, baby --
(passes it to her)
Gotta jam. Gonna go pick up
some product down in Long Beach.

ALONA
(takes it, inhales)
Yeah, right. You just want to make
your escape before the teacher gets here.

BEGGAR
No shit.
He’s in love with you.
Guy creeps me out.
Gets all moony-eyed and shit.

ALONA
What’s love got to do with it?
He can only rent. YOU own me --
He’s finished dressing. Goes to her. Gives her a sloppy kiss.
BEGGAR
And don’t you forget it.
(beat)
I should be back by midnight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
ALONA
Like what, suck cock?

Friday, August 29, 2014

All In The Family


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In the final chapter of NOWHERE GIRL, long-lost twin sisters April Street and Cherry Nation escape the evil clutches of their father, black ops spook Sledge Crafton ...


INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
The water has reached the girl’s necks.
Pretty soon they’re gonna have to
start treading water.

CHERRY
I don’t CARE if it’s DANGEROUS.
Let’s fucking DO IT.

APRIL
Okay.
(beat)
One last thing.
In case we -- don’t make it out of this --
I just want you to know that
I’m proud to have you as a sister.
(beat)
You can really kick ass.

CHERRY
(smiles, teary-eyed)
You, too -- sis.
(beat)
I mean -- I’m proud, too.

They hug.
April pulls away.
Holds up a GRENADE.

APRIL
Okay -- here’s the plan.
It explodes in three seconds.
We’re gonna go to the
wall opposite the window.
I’m gonna pull the pin
and count ONE, TWO --
and then THROW IT at the window --
then we dive down to the bottom
and hold our breath.
The water might just
shield us from the blast.

CHERRY
Let’s DO IT.

APRIL
Okay.

They slog through the water
to the opposite wall.

April holds up the grenade.
Looks at Cherry, who nods --

April PULLS THE PIN.

APRIL
ONE, TWO --

And HURLS it at the window.
They DIVE.

UNDER WATER
The girls swim to the bottom.

THE WINDOW
EXPLODES in a million pieces.

Torrents of water start
GUSHING through the opening.

UNDER WATER
The explosion ROCKS
the girls against the wall. OOF.

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
A wave of water CRASHES
into Sledge’s office.

SLEDGE
What the fuck?

He JUMPS up on his desk.
Pulls out his Browning 9mm.

APRIL AND CHERRY
Appear in the doorway.
Wet. Weapons aimed.

APRIL
Drop the gun, Father.
We’re taking you in.

Sledge looks at the girls.
Tears in his eyes.

SLEDGE
You girls really make me proud.

He puts the gun in his mouth.
And BLOWS HIS HEAD OFF -- BANG.

Brains and blood SPRAY
the window behind him.

His body CRUMPLES
to a heap on the desk.

CHERRY
Holy shit.

APRIL
I know.

CHERRY
Holy shit.

APRIL
I know.
(beat)
Holy shit.

DONNER
Appears in the doorway.

DONNER
What the -- ?

Cherry FLIPS UP her Glock and
BLASTS Donner in the forehead.

Red dot like a third eye.
She FALLS OVER, THUMP.

APRIL
Nice shot.

CHERRY
Thanks. I’m really starting
to groove on this spy shit.

APRIL
Hey. All in the family.

EXT./INT. MINI COOPER - MOVING - MOMENTS LATER
The girls cruise down Hollywood Boulevard.
Pass Grauman’s Chinese Theater,
the wind whipping their hair.

CHERRY
Goddammit.
My adrenaline is still pumping.

APRIL
Kinda cool, huh.
Welcome to the club.

CHERRY
Does Interpol have any openings?

APRIL
Are you kidding?
When I tell them I have a twin,
they’ll shit bricks.
You’re In Like Flynt, Agent Nation.

CHERRY
Agent Nation.
I like the sound of that.
Got a nice ring to it.
(beat)
So what are you gonna do
with your half-million?

APRIL
My --

CHERRY
Half of the money.
In the attache case.
It’s in the trunk.

April shoots her a look. Beams.

APRIL
Let’s go grab some breakfast.
My treat. I’m fucking starving.

OVER CLOSING CREDITS:

EXT. HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD - PODIUM - DAY
Cherry and April are given duplicate
keys to the city by the mayor.
Flashbulbs POP. The CROWD cheers.

INT. ROMANTIC RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Cherry and Peeler drink champagne
by candlelight.

He takes her hand.
Kisses it.

CAMERA PANS OVER to where
CHERRY’S DAUGHTERS are sitting.
They start GIGGLING.

EXT. TARGET RANGE - DAY
April takes aim at a target.
BLASTS OFF a ROUND OF SHOTS.

ANGLE ON --

THE TARGET
With a perfect circular ring
of bullet holes around the head.

APRIL
Hands the gun to Cherry.

CHERRY
Takes aim.
FIRES off another ROUND OF SHOTS.

ANGLE ON --

THE TARGET
The ring of bullet holes
now has a smiley face.

EXT. EGYPT - THE PYRAMIDS - NIGHT
April and Cherry chase two
BAD GUYS up the steep incline.

EXT. PARIS - THE EIFFEL TOWER - NIGHT
April hangs over the railing
with one hand, pelted by rain,
the wind whipping in her hair.
GUN SHOTS fire over her head.

Cherry leans down, pulls her up.
a gun in April’s hand.

They SPIN AROUND, and SHOOT
a DOZEN ATTACKERS, killing them.

INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - OVAL OFFICE - DAY
April and Cherry sit in chairs
across from the PRESIDENT.

Cherry says something.
Then April.

The President raises his eyebrows.
Picks up the phone.
And starts dialing ...

FADE TO BLACK.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Ashes To Ashes


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In the next-to-last chapter of NOWHERE GIRL, after long-lost twin sisters April Street and Cherry Nation discover that black ops spook Sledge Crafton is their father and reject his offer to join him in a life of crime, they're locked in his dungeon ... which start rapidly filling with water ...


INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
April raises her Sig Sauer.
SHOOTS at the door.

The bullets FLY OFF and
RICOCHET around the room.

Cherry aims at the window.
SHOOTS a SPRAY OF BULLETS at it.

They, too BOUNCE of the glass
and RICOCHET.

The water swirls around,
now reaching up to their knees.

APRIL
The CEILING. Let’s see if
we can blow a HOLE in it!

CHERRY
Let’s DO IT.

The girls raise their weapons.
Start FIRING at the ceiling.

Chunks of cement start FLYING off.
April shields her eyes
with her forearm.
So does Cherry.

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
Crafton sits at his desk.
Looks out the window. Pensive.

He leans over. Hits a
button on his speakerphone.

SLEDGE
Donner.

DONNER (O.C.)
(electronic)
Yes, chief.

SLEDGE
I’m going to go home in
a few minutes and get some shut-eye.
These all-nighters are killing me.
I’m not getting any younger.

DONNER (O.C.)
Would you care for some company?

SLEDGE
That would be nice.

DONNER (O.C.)
Just give me a few minutes.
(beat)
I’m sorry about the girls.

SLEDGE
So am I, Donner.
So am I.
(beat)
Please do me a favor
and never mention them again.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The water is now up their waists.
The girls have now blown out
a nice-sized hole in the ceiling
about six-inches deep.

APRIL
This isn’t gonna work.
We’re gonna have think of
something else.

CHERRY
Let me get up on your shoulders.
Maybe it’s not that thick.

APRIL
Okay.

April cups her hands.
Cherry climbs up April.

Stands on her shoulders.
Pushes the ceiling where
they’ve shot it out.

Nothing.

CHERRY
Shit!
We’re gonna DIE!

APRIL
Don’t EVER say that.
We’re NOT gonna die.

Cherry JUMPS down.
Hits the water with a SPLASH.

CHERRY
Then tell me, what THE FUCK
are we GONNA DO?

She BURSTS into tears.
April GRABS her. Hugs her.

APRIL
Shhhhh, it’s okay --
I’m gonna figure something out.

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
Sledge holds an old, dog-eared
Polaroid in his hand.
A tear streaks down his cheek.

CLOSE ON --
The photograph.

We see two three-year-old
little girls. Gorgeous. Happy.
Smiling. APRIL and ABBY.

SLEDGE
Pulls out a cigarette lighter.
Sets it on FIRE.

Tosses it in the ashtray
on his desk.

SLEDGE
Ashes to ashes --

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Sins Of The Father


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 33 of NOWHERE GIRL, the shit hits the fan when long-lost twin sisters April Street and Cherry Nation arrive at black ops spook Sledge Crafton's secret lair ... and walk right into a trap ...


INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - LOBBY - NIGHT
They walk into the lobby.
We now see that Donner’s desk is in
a bullet-proof glass cubicle
in a corner of the room.

CHERRY
What is this, Austin Powers?

APRIL
He always had a flair
for the dramatic.

Donner’s voice comes over
hidden speakers.

DONNER
Ladies, glad you could join us.
Mr. Crafton has been expecting you.

April walks over the cubicle.
Stares down Donner.

APRIL
Well, isn’t that a coincidence.

A steel door SLIDES OPENS in the wall.

DONNER
Right through that door, please.
He’ll be right with you.

The girls look at the
open doorway suspiciously.

APRIL
How do we know this isn’t a trap?

CHERRY
Cover me, and I’ll go take a look.

APRIL
Okay.

Cherry walks over to the doorway.
Stops. Looks in.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Steel walls. A table with chairs.
Glass window. Shades drawn.

CHERRY
Turns her head.

CHERRY
Looks fine to me.

April marches over, and they walk in.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The door behind them SLAMS shut with a BANG.

APRIL
I KNEW it.
(looks around)
CRAFTON. Show yourself!

The window shade SLIDES UP.
Behind it stands Crafton.

SLEDGE
Ladies.

APRIL
What’s the big idea?
You can’t keep us locked up in here.
People know where we are.

SLEDGE
I’m afraid not.
They’re all dead.

APRIL
Then what do you want from us?

SLEDGE
That, my dear, is the
question of the hour.
Please have a seat.
I’ve got a story to tell you.

The girls sit.

SLEDGE
In the early eighties,
I was missing in action in Nicaragua --
and during this period of time my
CRAZY BITCH of a wife put our
lovely two daughters up for adoption --
after she ran off to the UK
with a rock star.
(beat)
Those were heady times.
It was pre-AIDS, ecstacy was legal --

APRIL
What’s with the life story?
Get to the fucking POINT.

SLEDGE
The point?
You want me to GET TO THE POINT?
(beat)
Well, like I SAID --
my wife put our lovely
young daughters up for adoption.
Such a sad fate for
two little four-year-old girls.
How tragic would it be
if they were separated?

April and Cherry exchange glances.
What the fuck?

SLEDGE
You know the rest of the story --
because you’ve LIVED it.
(beat)
That’s right -- I’m your FATHER.
I scoured the globe for
years tracking you down.
Of course I was incredibly happy
to discover that my little April
had become an agent for Interpol.
That little apple didn’t
fall too far from the tree.
But, however, I was dismayed to discover
that my little Abby
had changed her name to CHERRY,
and had become a PORN STAR
and then a STRIPPER.
To say I was disappointed
would be an understatement.
(beat)
Then I decided to find a way
in which I could get
you two back together --
in my loving arms.
(beat)
This whole thing has been A TEST.
A MILITARY EXERCISE.
And you both passed --
with FLYING COLORS.
(to April)
I had a hunch -- and I was right --
that if you took Abby under your wing,
she’d grow some balls.

CHERRY
My name is CHERRY, not Abby.

APRIL
You fucking SLEPT with me, you -- MONSTER.

SLEDGE
A momentary lapse, I’m afraid.
(beat)
You ARE the spitting image of your mother.

April LEAPS up.
SLAPS the window.

APRIL
What THE FUCK do you want from us?

SLEDGE
(strange smile)
What any father wants from
his darling daughters.
I’ve created a nice
little empire, you know.
I’d like you to come work with me --
and live with me.
(beat)
Imagine the possibilities.
(low)
Come to Poppa.

April POUNDS on the window.
Cherry watches, in shock.

APRIL
You’re the most depraved
human being I’ve ever MET.
We wouldn’t work for you if
you were the last person ON EARTH.
(beat)
Daddy.

CHERRY
YEAH. So why don’t you
go FUCK YOURSELF and DIE.

Crafton shakes his head slowly.

SLEDGE
I was hopping you wouldn’t say that.
Can’t blame a guy for trying.

He takes out his cell.
Mumbles something. Hangs up.

SLEDGE
My heart -- is broken.

The window shade CLOSES.
Water starts GUSHING down
from a row of pipes in the ceiling.

CHERRY
What the fuck?

APRIL
Stand back!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Give Violence A Chance


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 32 of NOWHERE GIRL, long-lost twin sisters April Street and Cherry Nation arrive at black ops spook Sledge Crafton's secret lair ... inside the Capitol Records building in Hollywood. But first, they have to get through security ...


EXT. CAPITOL RECORDS BUILDING - MORNING
The famous cylindrical landmark
gleams in the morning light.

April and Cherry pull up
in a red Mini Cooper convertible.

INT. MINI COOPER - CONTINUOUS
April shuts off the engine.
They jump out of the car.

EXT. VINE STREET - CAPITOL RECORDS BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
April looks down at John Lennon’s
plaque on the Walk of Fame.

APRIL
Look.
Lennon’s star.

CHERRY
Hey.
Give Violence A Chance.

They walk to the front door.
It’s LOCKED.

Cherry peers in the window.
Sees a GUARD sitting at a desk.

CHERRY
I’ve got an idea.

She KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCKS
on the glass.

THE GUARD
Looks up.
Shakes his head.
Mouths WE’RE NOT OPEN.

CHERRY
STOMPS her foot.
Shouts --

CHERRY
We’re here for the
RECORDING SESSION.

THE GUARD
Looks puzzled.
What recording session?

CHERRY
POUNDS on the glass.

CHERRY
MICHAEL JACKSON!
Hurry up and LET US IN.

THE GUARD
Walks over to the door.
Unlocks it.
Opens it a crack.

GUARD
Did you say MICHAEL JACKSON?

CHERRY
Yeah.
We’re background singers.
And we’re late.

GUARD
You’re full-a-shit.
There’s no recording here anymore.
And he’s DEAD.

CHERRY
EXACTLY.
Quincy Jones is mixing
some new tracks that
were just discovered.
That’s why he’s using
the basement studio.
You know how he is
about secrecy.

April KICKS the door
into the guard’s face, THWUNK.

He goes down.
She pushes it open.
Walks in. Cherry follows.

INT. CAPITOL RECORDS BUILDING - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
April and Cherry drag the guard
over to his desk.

Prop him up in his chair.
Dash over to the elevator banks.
Push UP.

A SECURITY CAMERA
On the ceiling moves
in their direction.

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - LOBBY - AT THAT MOMENT
A FEMALE OPERATIVE (20’s) sits at a desk
in the lobby of Crafton’s suite
of offices watching video monitors.

She dials a number. Listens.

FEMALE OPERATIVE
Chief?
We’ve got company.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CRAFTON’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Crafton WHIRLS his chair around.
Leans into his speakerphone.

SLEDGE
Who is it Donner, Street?

DONNER
Yeah.
And she’s got someone with her.
Some chick dressed like
a go-go girl.

SLEDGE
I had a feeling.
Put them in the interrogation room.
Tell them I’ll be right there.

DONNER
Yes, sir.

Sledge WHIRLS around
in his chair.

Faces a table behind his desk.
He leans over.

SNORTS a line of coke.
Then ANOTHER.

SLEDGE
(rubs his nose)
Alright, ladies -- it’s SHOWTIME.

INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS
April and Cherry arrive
at the top floor.

The doors OPEN.
They walk out into the corridor.

A LARGE METAL DOOR faces them.
No name. No number.

Just a small lit button
on a silver panel.

April pulls out her Sig Sauer.
Raises it.

APRIL
Ready?

Cherry pulls out her Glock.

CHERRY
Let’s do it.

April presses the button.
The door SLIDES OPEN --

Monday, August 25, 2014

There's No Place Like Hummer


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of NOWHERE GIRL, Palestinian arms dealer Avi Abbas tries to flee the country, with disastrous results. Meanwhile, long-lost twin sisters April Street and Cherry Nation race to black ops spook Sledge Crafton's secret lair ...


INT./EXT. LIMOUSINE - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Avi sits in the back as the limo
cruises south on the 405.

He pulls out his cell.
PUNCHES in a number.

AVI
Yeah, hi.
I’d like to reserve a ticket
on the next flight to Caracas --

A siren WHOOP-WHOOPS outside.

AVI (CONT’D)
What the fuck?

The driver’s window SLIDES DOWN.

DRIVER
I wasn’t speeding.

AVI
Goddammit.

EXT. 405 FREEWAY - LIMOUSINE - CONTINUOUS
The limo pulls over.
A MOTORCYCLE COP pulls up behind it.

Stops. Parks. The cop dismounts.
Walks over to the window.

DRIVER
What seems to be the problem, officer?

The cop pulls out his SERVICE REVOLVER
and SHOOTS him. BANG.

IN THE REAR
Avi hears the shot. JUMPS.

AVI
SHIT.

The cop appears in the divider.

AVI (CONT’D)
NO, WAIT!

And SHOOTS him. BANG.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - DAWN
A beautiful sunrise.

FIRE TRUCKS and PATROL CARS
make their way up into the hills.
NEWS CHOPPERS fly overhead.

INT. BOMB SQUAD TRUCK - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
April punches in a number on her cell. Listens.

APRIL
Lark? You there?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE
Lark sits at her workstation,
blowing on her hundredth cup of coffee.
Dark circles under haunted eyes.

LARK
Barely.

APRIL
I need Crafton’s location.

LARK
I can’t --

APRIL
I thought this line was encrypted.

LARK
It is, but -- I can’t --

APRIL
Wait a minute.

LARK
What.

APRIL
You never sent back-up because
you’re working for him, AREN’T you.
You’re a fucking MOLE.
(beat)
My GOD am I STUPID.

A FIGURE IN BLACK SHADES
Appears at the end of the row of cubicles.

APRIL (CONT’D)
And you got Shag killed.

LARK
NO. That wasn’t -- my fault.

APRIL
Give me his location. NOW.

THE FIGURE
Starts walking toward Lark’s workstation.

APRIL (CONT’D)
You’re a disgrace to your flag.
You KNOW that? This is your chance
to prove that not ALL American agents
are corrupt.

LARK
Shag wasn’t corrupt!

APRIL
But you got him KILLED.

Lark GASPS. Her eyes fill with tears.

LARK
Crafton’s HQ is in the Capitol Records building.
He’s got the whole top floor.

The figure reaches Lark’s cubicle.
He raises a 9mm Baretta with a silencer,
and SHOOTS her in the head -- THWIP.

APRIL
Good girl, now you’re talking -- thanks.
(listens)
Lark?
(beat)
Lark?
(to Cherry)
She hung up.

She looks at Cherry, white as a ghost.

CHERRY
Shag’s DEAD?

APRIL
One of Crafton’s assassins.
I’m sorry, love.
I didn’t know how to tell you.
(beat)
I’m sorry.

CHERRY
Poor Shag. My god.
(beat)
He drove me crazy, you know?
But he meant well, he was --
such a great guy,
I don’t know what I’m gonna --
(beat)
SHIT, my KIDS.
Can I borrow your cell phone?

April hands it over.
Cherry PUNCHES in a number. Listens.

CHERRY (CONT’D)
Hello, Jamie? It’s mommy.
(listens)
I miss you, too.
I’m sorry I woke you --
(listens)
I’m so glad you’re having fun.
You love your Nanna, don’t you?
(listens)
I have good news.
I might be coming home
sooner than I thought.
(listens)
I love you, too.
Go back to sleep.

She clicks the phone shut. Relieved.

APRIL
Thank god for small miracles, huh?

CHERRY
Yeah.

The truck is RAMMED from behind.
They JERK in their seats.

CHERRY (CONT'D)
What the FUCK was that?

APRIL
(looks in rear view)
We’re being tailed --
(another BANG)
By a fucking HUMMER.

CHERRY
But this truck’s bigger than a Hummer.

APRIL
Exactly. Hold onto your tits.

April JAMS on the breaks -- SCREEEEECH.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - CONTINUOUS
The Hummer SMASHES
into the back of the truck.

IN THE TRUCK
April JAMS it into reverse --
and HITS THE GAS.

ON THE STREET
The truck starts PUSHING the Hummer backwards.
Cars HONK. SWERVE to get out of the way.

IN THE HUMMER
The DRIVER curses.
Pulls out an AUTOMATIC WEAPON.
Sticks it out the window. PUMPS it.

THE TRUCK
Gets SPRAYED with bullets.

IN THE TRUCK
April hands Cherry her Sig Sauer.

APRIL
Here ya go, love --
shoot his fucking nuts off.

CHERRY
MOTHER-FUCKER.

Cherry takes the gun.
Opens her window. Leans out.

Starts FIRING at the Hummer.
SPRAYS it with bullets.

THE DRIVER OF THE HUMMER
Aims for the truck’s rear tires.

Gets the left. BANG.
Then the right. BANG.

IN THE TRUCK
April SWERVES the wheel.

APRIL
He’s shooting our TIRES. Get HIS!

CHERRY
Leans further out the window.
SPRAYS bullets on the Hummer’s front tires.

THE HUMMER
Swerves.

THE TRUCK AND THE HUMMER
Reach an intersection.

The truck’s wheels SCREECH on their rims,
PUSHING the Hummer into ONCOMING TRAFFIC.

A CITY BUS
SMASHES into the Hummer -- BANG. Bye-bye.

IN THE TRUCK
April pulls the truck over to the curb.
Looks at Cherry.

APRIL (CONT’D)
Nice shooting.

CHERRY
Nice driving.

APRIL
You okay?

CHERRY
Well, since you asked --
I feel like I’m gonna puke.
(realizes, turns her head)
Peeler? You back there? You okay?

Cherry swivels in her seat.
Looks in the rear.

THE BACK DOOR
Is open. The compartment is empty.

CHERRY (CONT’D)
He’s gone. Story of my life.

APRIL
Welcome to the world of espionage.
The Spy Who Left Me.
(beat)
C’mon, we gotta get new wheels --

Friday, August 22, 2014

Collateral Damage


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 30 of NOWHERE GIRL, after discovering that deep stealth Interpol agent April Street and exotic dancer Cherry Nation are long-lost twin sisters, they team up and escape the terrorist's lair ... just as the bomb explodes ...


EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - NIGHT
Two Feds in protective gear
with helmets stand in front of
a bomb squad truck.

They start walking toward
Cherry and April.

APRIL
(whispers)
I don’t trust them.

CHERRY
Let’s kick their ass.

INT. CIA HEADQUARTERS - CUBICLE - NIGHT
Lark takes a sip
of her water bottle.

Touches her headset.

LARK
But I don’t understand.
You WANT it to go off?
But what about -- collateral damage?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - NIGHT
Sledge Crafton stands at the bar.
Mixing a cocktail.
Speaking on his hands-free.

SLEDGE
Too many people know.
It’s a big mess.
Better to start again
with a clean slate.
And it’s not a real nuke,
it’s an old Russian
piece of shit pipe bomb
with a timer, that’s all.
We’ll find some patsy
and nail it on them,
like we did in Oklahoma City.

He leans down over the bar.
SNORTS a line of coke.

LARK
But what about April Street --
and the other girl?

SLEDGE
They’re being evacuated.
I have special plans for THEM.
(beat)
Don’t tell me you're
getting soft on me.
You’re one of the
best moles I’ve ever had.
I’d hate to have to
retire you, too.

LARK
But what about the
agents on-site?

SLEDGE
They don’t know
the bomb is live.
(beat)
Like you said,
collateral damage.

INT. BOMB SQUAD TRUCK - NIGHT -
Cherry and April wear
bomb squad gear with helmets.

April GUNS the engine.
The vehicle starts moving.

CHERRY
Go, go, go --

APRIL
We’re OUTTA HERE.

EXT. QUEENS ROAD - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
The truck ROARS down the road.

INT. BOMB SQUAD TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
April shakes her head slowly.
Thinking.

APRIL
Something’s not right.
They were acting like they
WANTED the nuke to go off.
(beat)
Unless they weren’t told
it was live.

CHERRY
Why would the agency do that?

APRIL
I don’t know, unless --

An earth-shattering EXPLOSION
rocks the truck.
April stops.

She and Cherry poke their
heads out their windows, look.

A MASSIVE FIREBALL ERUPTS
in the sky.

THE TRUCK
Continues on down Queens Road.

APRIL
That was no nuke.
Crafton was ripping
off the terrorists.
Why am I not surprised?

CHERRY
So where are we going?

APRIL
We’re gonna pay him
a little visit.

CHERRY
(turns her head)
Hey.
You okay back there?

PEELER
Sticks his head out
from the rear.

PEELER
Well, let’s see.
I’ve lost a lot of blood,
I’m dizzy from hunger,
and I just shit my pants.
I’m having a ball.