Thursday, March 26, 2015

Lost In The Supermarket


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of SPIRAL, now that their drug and booze-filled binges start lasting all night into the morning, Savannah, Dex and Andy have to venture out into the real world to stock up on 'supplies' ...

INT. SHANNON'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Shannon, Andy and Dex sit on bar stools
facing the mirror. They sip drinks.

ANDY
But Cathy's cool. She's gonna try, I swear.

SHANNON
I won't get the fucking cover, I know it.
They don't want some fucking porn star.
(pause)
You can't trust anyone.
Everyone sucks. The world sucks.

ANDY
We don't need anyone else.

DEX
Yeah.

SHANNON
You guys are my world, all I have, all I need -- my family.

Shannon fires up the pipe, inhales a hit,
then closes her eyes, rushing on the drug.

ANDY
What about your family?
How come you never talk about them?

Her head JERKS at hearing the word "family."
She opens her eyes, bitter eyes BURNING in the mirror.

SHANNON
I have no family. They're dead. I killed them.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT
A faceless suburban street
somewhere deep in the Valley.
Shannon and Andy sit in Dex's Jeep
in front of a tiny, shitty bungalow.

ANDY (V.O.)
The parties started lasting longer and longer,
and sometimes we'd run out of stuff,
so we'd go on a run.
After being inside all night,
it was great to get out.

INT. DEX'S JEEP - NIGHT
Shannon leans her head back and closes her eyes.
The radio plays a vintage top forty ballad.

ANDY (V.O.)
It was so quiet, so perfect,
the streets were so dead,
it seemed like a different city.
It felt like everyone else had disappeared,
and we were the only ones left in the world.

INSIDE THE CAR - SAME

SHANNON
He always takes so long.

Andy takes her hand with mock-sincerity.

ANDY
Don't be impatient, my Little flower.
It's more time for us to be alone together.

Shannon opens her eyes and laughs.
Dex comes out of the house and gets in the car.

SHANNON
What took you so fucking long?

DEX
The guy is fucking weird. He never shuts up.

SHANNON
But you got the stuff, right?

DEX
Yeah, well, sorta. All he had was crystal.

SHANNON
You got fucking SPEED?

ANDY
Speed? I've never done speed.

DEX
Hey, look. It was either that or nothing.

SHANNON
Fucking idiot.
That stuff's for druggies, for addicts.

DEX
What was I supposed to do?
Come back with nothing?
Besides, it was cheaper.
Now we got more money for Stoli.

INT. SUPERMARKET AISLE - NIGHT
It's empty. The brightness of it seems surreal, haunted.
Obscenely peppy Muzak plays, a bit too loud.

Dex holds a cart. Andy puts a half gallon
bottle of Stoli in the shopping cart.
Dex GRABS it and unscrews the cap.

ANDY
Can't you wait 'till we get home?

DEX
Uh-uh. I'm starting to get sober.

Dex CHUGS vodka straight from the bottle.

INT. CHECKOUT / REGISTER - NIGHT
A pair of ROCKERS dig into their pockets
to pay for a twelve pack.

ROCKER NO. 1
I've got two bucks.

INT. SUPERMARKET AISLE - SAME
Shannon approaches the cart with an
armload of feminine hygiene products.

DEX
I'm not helping to pay for fucking douche.

SHANNON
Don't worry about it. I got a plan.

INT. CHECKOUT / REGISTER - SAME
The rockers GRAB the twelve pack.
One of them sees something.

ROCKER NO. 1
Hey! Isn't that that porn chick, wha's her name?

INT. SUPERMARKET EXIT - NIGHT
Dex pushes the cart at a fast clip.

SHANNON
Just look casual.

ANDY
We can't do this. We'll get caught.

INT. CHECKOUT / REGISTER - SAME
The CASHIER sees them.

CASHIER
Hey! You! Stop!

ROCKER NO. 2
It's Savannah!
(to Shannon)
Hey! SAVANNAH!

INT. SUPERMARKET EXIT - NIGHT
Shannon turns her head.

SHANNON
Shit! Run!

Dex starts RUNNING with the cart.
Andy FLIES out the door.

Shannon stops, turns around, lifts up her shirt,
FLASHES HER BREASTS and RUNS out the door
LAUGHING hysterically.

EXT. SUPERMARKET PARKING LOT - NIGHT
The three RUN into the night, LAUGHING.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Two Scoops Of Vanilla


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of SPIRAL, when Playboy Entertainment executive Cathy Gordon tells Andy that she wants to produce a special featuring adult film star Savannah, he gets excited, but when the three of them meet at a swanky Beverly Hills restaurant for lunch, more than sparks fly ...


CLOSE UP OF VIDEO MONITOR
In an elaborate dungeon, a gorgeous amazon
in black vinyl ties a beautiful young
naked women to a cross.

The naked woman SHUDDERS with pleasure.

INT. CATHY GORDON'S OFFICE - DAY
Andy sits in a chair across from Cathy's desk.
They are watching the S&M video on the monitor.

ANDY
My god. That's not on the channel, is it?

CATHY
No. From my private collection.

Cathy PUNCHES the remote.
The screen changes to a smiling Jenny McCarthy
in a bikini bouncing in the waves at the beach.

CATHY
That's the channel. Two scoops of vanilla.

Andy laughs.

ANDY
So what's up? What did you want to see me about?

CATHY
I've got this idea. I want to do a special,
"A day in the life of a porn star."
People love that behind the scenes kinda stuff.

ANDY
That's a great idea.

CATHY
Thanks, I think so. You know, we show them
shopping for groceries, at the gym,
at the beauty parlor, whatever.
Then, after the special, we show
a marathon of the star's best movies.

A beat. Cathy sips her coffee.

CATHY (CONT'D)
I'd like to do Savannah first.

ANDY
Wow, cool.

CATHY
You've been hanging out with her.
Do you think you could do me a favor
and set up a meeting?

ANDY
Are you kidding? Of course! She'd love it.
"A day in the life of a porn star."

CATHY
And then, a "Savannah-thon."

ANDY
I'll call her tonight.

INT. ANDY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Andy is grooming himself for the big night.
He's wearing a nice, casual suit.

ANDY (V.O)
I couldn't believe it,
she was gonna have her own special.
I just knew she and Cathy
were gonna hit it off.
This was just the kinda break
she needed, talk about exposure.
The best part was that
this was the first time
I was gonna get to see her
as Savannah.

INT. MAPLE DRIVE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
It's a classy, exclusive place in Beverly Hills
for Hollywood's movers and shakers.

Dinner time. The place is packed. Suits at every table.
AGENTS. PRODUCERS. DIRECTORS. EXECUTIVES. TALENT.

The soft strain of classical music
plays on the P.A.

Andy and Cathy sit at a booth
in the rear sipping margaritas.
Not a power table.

ANDY
This place is amazing.

CATHY
It's nice, huh. Where else can you see
Barry Diller and John Ritter in the same room?

ANDY
And you eat here all the time.

CATHY
Yeah, but my power lunches involve a discussion
of the amount of sex in the running time
of my supplier's product.
Not exactly a hot scoop for Variety.

Cathy looks at her watch.

CATHY (cont'd)
She's half an hour late.

Andy scans the room.

ANDY
There she is.

INT. THE HOSTESS DESK - SAME
Shannon and Dex stand at the front of the restaurant.
Shannon is stunning in white vinyl and bare skin.
The HOSTESS points across the room. Andy WAVES.

INT. MIDSHOT / RESTAURANT
Shannon slowly STRUTS through
the middle of the restaurant,
head held high. All heads TURN. Time stops.

CLOSEUP: AGENT
A young, hunky AGENT peers over his glasses
and murmurs something under his breath.

MIDSHOT IN SLOW MOTION / RESTAURANT
Shannon GLIDES across the carpet
like a gazelle, white thighs flashing.
She's totally aware of the impact
she's having and loving it.

CLOSEUP: EXECUTIVE
A middle-aged EXECUTIVE stares,
takes a sip of water, then licks his lips.

MIDSHOT IN SLOW MOTION / RESTAURANT
Shannon nears Andy and Cathy's booth,
turns sideways to look at someone,
her hair swirling softly around her head,
framing her beaming, beautiful,
red-lipped face. Her eyes flash.

CLOSEUP: FEMALE EXECUTIVE
A pretty FEMALE EXECUTIVE lightly touches her plunging neckline with her hand,
causing her elbow to KNOCK OVER her wine glass.

INT. THE BOOTH - SAME
Shannon and Dex stand at the booth.

SHANNON
Hi Andy.

ANDY
Hello, gorgeous. Hey, Dex.

DEX
Hey.

ANDY
This is Cathy. Cathy, this is Savannah.

Cathy stands and shakes Shannon's hand.

CATHY
Hi. It's great to meet you.

Shannon likes what she sees.

SHANNON
Hi, Cathy. It's nice to meet you.

Shannon and Dex sit opposite Cathy and Andy in the booth.

ANDY
This is so great. All my favorite people at the same table.

SHANNON
So let's the chase. What's this about?
Andy mentioned something about a special.

CATHY
Yeah. It's a behind the scenes kinda thing called,
"A day in the life of an adult star."
We'd show you grocery shopping, washing your dog,
going to the gym, you know,
doing the things you do in your real life.

SHANNON
But I look like shit when I wash Daisy.
Who'd wanna see that?

CATHY
Oh, no. We'd stage it. You know, we'd fake it.
You'd look gorgeous.

SHANNON
I see.

CATHY
After the special we'd show a marathon of your best films,
a "Savannathon"

Cathy smiles hopefully. Shannon considers it.

SHANNON
I'll do it if I can be on the cover of the magazine.

CATHY
On the cover of Playboy?

SHANNON
Yeah. I'll do it if I can be on the cover.

Cathy looks at Andy. Andy looks helpless.
Shannon looks at Cathy expectantly.
Dex looks around the restaurant, restless.

CATHY
I'm sorry, I'm afraid that's not possible.

SHANNON
Not possible?

CATHY
I'm afraid Hefner has a policy against using adult talent
on the cover...or anywhere else in the magazine.
I know it's bullshit, but he's the boss.
(pause)
I'm sorry. My hands are tied.

SHANNON
Then I'm sorry. No cover, no special.

An awkward silence falls over the table.

SHANNON (CONT'D)
What are those bracelets you're wearing?
They look like handcuffs.

CATHY
Well, they are, sort of.

Cathy holds her arm up toward Shannon.
A small chain dangles connecting two
sterling silver rings around her wrist.

CATHY (cont'd)
It's just a pair of bracelets
connected with a little chain...

She slips one ring off.
It dangles on the chain.
Shannon's eyes widen.

CATHY (cont'd)
I think they're better than handcuffs...
No key to lose.

SHANNON
Sounds like fun.

A beat. The women look at each other.
You can cut the sexual tension with a knife.

A WAITER suddenly appears.

WAITER
How are we doing tonight?
My name is Richard, and I'll be your...

SHANNON
We're not staying for dinner.

She stands up. Cathy is surprised. Dex stands up.

ANDY
(to Shannon)
I'll call you when I get home.

SHANNON
It was such a pleasure to meet you.

CATHY
It was a pleasure to meet you too.

SHANNON
You'll let me know?

CATHY
I'll let you know --

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Doctor's Orders


Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of SPIRAL, after her show at the strip club, adult film star Savannah and her entourage take her limo to the seedy part of town to 'fill her prescription' for some blow ...


INT. LIMOUSINE - NIGHT
Shannon and Dex sit in the back
of a super stretch limo.

The lights of Vegas
flash through the windows.

Over the action, nasty,
guttural female rap.

Shannon takes a swig of champagne
straight from the bottle.

Coke is laid out on the small bar.
Dex does a line, then Shannon.
The driver's divider rolls down.

DRIVER
Are you sure this is the address?

Shannon rolls down her window
and takes a look.
It's a bad neighborhood.

SHANNON
It's gotta be.
(to Dex)
That fat fuck better'ave given me
the right address.

Dex does a line.

DEX
We can handle it.

Shannon takes a swig of champagne.

SHANNON
Let's rock and roll.

They LURCH out of the limo.

EXT. THE IRISH ROSE BAR - NIGHT
Shannon and Dex stand in front
of a shitty little bar.

"The Irish Rose" has definitely faded.
A neon sign blinks "cock_ails."

A DRUNKEN HOOKER stumbles out of the bar.
Shannon leans into the limo window.

SHANNON
We'll be back in five minutes.

Shannon hands the driver
a hundred dollar bill.

DRIVER
Okay.

INT. LIMO - SAME
The driver reaches
into the glove compartment
and pulls out a big chrome HANDGUN
and places it on his lap.

DRIVER
You got it.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE LIMO - SAME
Shannon and Dex walk into the bar.

INT. TENEMENT BAR - NIGHT.
Straight out of a bad cable movie.
Dark, dank, and scary.

A broken ceiling fan.
Neon beer signs.
A hand-written bar menu.

A handful of CUSTOMERS sit at the bar
dully staring at a small black and white
TV with shitty reception.

A Mexican BARTENDER washes glasses.
Over the action, evil gangsta rap,
like Ice T.

Shannon and Dex walk in.

JUNKIE
(to the bartender)
Can't you fix the fucking reception?
It's fucking Sally Jesse!
It's one of my shows!

The bar notices the blonde bombshell
and her escort. They freeze.

SHANNON
Excuse me.
I'm looking for Docta MC.
Marvin at the Olympic Gardens sent me.

Everyone stares at her.
Silently. Ominously.

SHANNON
Marvin said he had really good shit.

Silence. The clock TICKS.

SHANNON
I've got a fuck-load of cash.

A DRUNK stands up and points at Shannon.

DRUNK
Hey! I know you! You're Savannah!

SHANNON
You bet your ass I am.

A beat.

SHANNON
Anyone want an autograph?

The bar comes to life.

BARTENDER
Shit. I thought you looked familiar.
I thought you were a fuckin cop.

A big, ugly gangsta
walks over to Shannon.

DOCTA MC
Hey everybody, listen up,
we've got ourselves a
ce-leb-ri-ty in the house.

Shannon beams. Dex trembles with fear.

DOCTA MC
Allow me to introduce myself,
miss fine thang, I AM the Docta MC.
So I'm to unnerstand my homes
Marvin sent you for some medication?

SHANNON
That's right, doctor,
I need some party medicine --

She pulls out a BIG WAD OF CASH.

SHANNON
And here's my prescription.

Monday, March 23, 2015

I Love The Smell Of Estrogen In The Morning


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of SPIRAL, adult film star Savannah does a strip club appearance in Vegas, where the crowd loves her, but more than sparks fly when there's no limo to pick her up at the airport ...


EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - DAY
A sign says "Las Vegas International Airport."
Swarms of travelers stream in and out.
Over the action, pumping disco music.

ANDY (V.O.)
Every two weeks Shannon and Dex went on the road.
They travelled all over the country,
Shannon doing her strip act in every big city.
Shannon told me that the film work paid shit,
that the real money was on the road.
She could make as much twenty,
thirty thousand in a single weekend.
The clubs paid big money, and she also
cleaned up selling autographed t-shirts,
videos, all kinds of stuff.
The fans loved her, and she loved her fans.

EXT. AIRPORT TAXI STAND - DAY
Dex and Shannon stand in line waiting for a taxi.
Dex maneuvers two carts overloaded with luggage.

Shannon lights a smoke and
furiously paces back and forth.

SHANNON
That fat fuck said we were
gonna have a fucking limo.

DEX
I know.

SHANNON
I'm gonna give that fucking SHITHEAD
a piece of my mind!

A nearby POLICE OFFICER turns at the noise
and stares at Shannon.

SHANNON
What's he looking at?

The officer regards Shannon quizzically,
then starts walking toward her.

DEX
Shit.

SHANNON
Just be cool. I'll handle it.

The officer approaches, looking determined.
Shannon stares back defiantly.

He approaches Shannon and stops,
then breaks into a big grin.

POLICE OFFICER
I thought it was you! Savannah!
Welcome to Las Vegas, little lady.

Shannon smiles coyly.

POLICE OFFICER
I was wondering if, uh, I could get an autograph?
I just loved you in "Jailhouse Cock."

INT. OLYMPIC GARDENS STRIP CLUB - NIGHT
The club is posh, very exclusive, very fleshy.
Scantily clad WAITRESSES mill about serving cocktails.

STRIPPERS do lap dances for MALE CUSTOMERS,
most of whom look like they're about to explode.

Intro music starts, something like Enigma.
The D.J. speaks, smoothly oiling the mood.

D.J. (O.S.)
And now, gentlemen,
it's my pleasure to introduce
our featured performer tonight,
all the way from Hollywood,
right off the Sunset Strip,
direct from the dream factory,
star of over eighty adult films --
the delicious, lascivious -- SAVANNAH.

The music changes into nasty techno,
like Nine Inch Nails.

Curtains part, and out slides Shannon.
She's barely dressed and looks nasty.

She moves with the music,
slinking downstage to the pole.

SHANNON
Anyone feel lucky tonight?

She licks it, snake-like.
Everyone is riveted. This is a star.
Shannon slides her crotch into the pole.

SHANNON
Mmm -- I think I hit the jackpot --

INT. BACKSTAGE DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
The brightly lit backstage dressing area is crammed
with STRIPPERS in various states of dress and undress.
You can practically smell the estrogen.

The noise of the crowd and the
music thumps in the background.

Dex sits at Shannon's makeup station
and chats with the CLUB MANAGER,
(black, 50's), who is very upset.

CLUB MANAGER
It wasn't in the fuckin' contract!
I never heard nothin' about no fuckin' limo!

DEX
We always have a limo pick us up at the airport.

The crowd SCREAMS from outside.

CLUB MANAGER
You guys were two hours late.
It's a good thing the crowd loves her.
I almost canned her fucking ass.

The crowd ROARS.
The door to the dressing room FLIES open.
shannon STOMPS into room.

SHANNON
You! Fuck-face!

She GRABS her drink from the makeup counter
and SWILLS IT DOWN.

CLUB MANAGER
Who you calling fuck face?

SHANNON
YOU, that's who!
Where the fuck was my goddamn limo, huh? HUH?

The crowd outside starts chanting. They want more.

CROWD (O.S.)
SAVANNAH, SAVANNAH, SAVANNAH --

CLUB MANAGER
I never heard nothin' about no fuckin' limo!

The backstage door FLIES OPEN.
CLARISSA, a young stripper, MARCHES in,
followed by a BOUNCER.

CLARISSA
Fucking suits!

BOUNCER
They want Savannah back.
They wouldn't let Clarissa on.

CLUB MANAGER
What?

BOUNCER
They fuckin booed her off the stage, man.
I'm afraid they're gonna
rip the fuckin place apart.
It's like they're possessed or somethin.

SHANNON
Well, they're gonna haveta wait a minute.

Shannon SNORTS a couple of
quick lines off the counter,
then points viciously at the manager.

SHANNON
Now listen, and listen good,
you fat fucking little fuck.
They're better be a limo
waiting for me after the show,
or I'll never work here again
AS LONG AS I LIVE.

She STORMS out of the room, SLAMMING the door.

CLUB MANAGER
Promises, promises --

Friday, March 20, 2015

A Little Breather


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of SPIRAL, Andy and Dex stay up all night bingeing on coke and booze with porn star Savannah at her Hollywood Hills mansion and 'bond' on a very deep level ...


INT. SAVANNAH'S ESTATE - MASTER BEDROOM - DAWN
Savannah, Andy and Dex sit
on the floor chattering away.

We don't hear what they're saying, though...
Over the action, a top-forty type "power ballad."

ANDY (V.O.)
I'll never forget that first time I freebased.
It was like everything was speeded up,
but clear, peaceful, but alive, you felt so alive,
and it was like you were coming,
but you didn't need sex, it was like, uh...
(beat)
I wondered what heroin was like.
That's supposed to be the best.
Like you see Jesus, and Mary.
Then have a three-way.
(beat)
But then we only did drugs recreationally.
Heroin was for addicts, junkies.

Shannon does a line,
wets a finger in her drink, and SNIFFS.

SHANNON
I always feel so alone.
My family is fucked up... Slash dumped me...
Danny's always busy... the porno people use me...
all I have is Daisy.
(beat)
And you guys.

ANDY
I've been here four years and I'm still single...
my family and friends are back east...
the people at work are nice, but boring...
all I've had is Dex.
(beat)
Now I have you.

Andy smiles and touches Shannon's leg.
She takes his hand in hers.

DEX
All I seem to get is sex.
(pause)
All I want is sex...

Dex would rather die than cry. He gets up.

DEX
I gotta pee.

He goes into the bathroom.

SHANNON
The sun is coming up.

Andy looks at his watch.

ANDY
It's six.

SHANNON
I want this night to never end.
I only want to be with you.
Always. For ever and ever.
We don't need anyone else.

ANDY
Nobody else.

EXT. BEL AIR MANSION - DAWN
Andy's car pulls into the garage.
He gets out of the car and goes inside.

ANDY (V.O.)
I never wanted it to end.
It was a rollercoaster ride that
only stopped when the train gave out.
Even the strongest machinery
starts to break down after awhile.
Even the best party has to take
a little breather after awhile.

INT. ANDY'S GUEST HOUSE - DAWN
Andy walks through the dim light of the empty foyer,
his footsteps echoing on the marble floor.

CAMERA follows him down the hallway
and into his bedroom.

He takes a handful of pills out of
his pocket and stares at them.

CAMERA follows Andy into the bathroom
where he fills a glass with water,
swallows the pills, then splashes his face.

CAMERA follows Andy back into bedroom
where he sprawls out on the bed.

He grabs the phone and punches a number.

PEGGY (O.S.)
Hello...Bernardi residence.

ANDY
Muh-Mom.

PEGGY (O.S.)
Andy? Is that you?
What are you doing up so late?
Are you sick? You sound funny.

ANDY
I couldn't sleep.
I was hanging out with Shannon and...

PEGGY (O.S.)
I'm sorry, darling. I'm on the other line.
Call me later, okay, hun? I love you.

ANDY
I love you too. buh-Bye, Mom.

Andy gingerly puts the phone on its cradle,
then FLOPS on the bed and passes out cold --

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Heavy Rotation


Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of SPIRAL, Andy and Dex hang out again with porn superstar Savannah in her Hollywood Hill mansion all night partying ... but when she shows them how to freebase cocaine, the party REALLY gets started ...


INT. SHANNON'S ESTATE - MASTER BATHROOM - NIGHT
Shannon and Andy sit on their bar stools
facing the bathroom mirror.

A large mound of coke sits on the
now familiar black lacquered tray.

The trio drink Stoli and O.J.
Over the action, nasty gangsta rap.

SHANNON
The director said I was incredible.
I can't wait to see it on MTV.

ANDY
Do you have the CD? Let's play it.

SHANNON
Yeah, but I don't want to hear it again.
I heard that fucking song a billion times today.

Shannon raises her glass.

SHANNON
To my new career!

Andy raises his. So does Dex.

ANDY
To heavy rotation!

DEX
To inebriation!

They CLINK glasses.

ANDY
You're gonna make it big, Shannon.
I'm so proud of you, so lucky
to have you in my life.

SHANNON
Aw, Andy. I love you.

They get emotional and hug.
Dex looks at the tray. It's empty.

DEX
I don't want to interrupt,
but it's time for a run.
Andy, we can go in my car.

SHANNON
Nobody's going anywhere.
I've got a little surprise
for you boys tonight.

Shannon pulls open a drawer
and pulls out a glass pipe.

SHANNON
It's time to move up to the big leagues.

Shannon pulls a bag from her jeans pocket
and dumps the contents into the tray.

ANDY
What's that?

DEX
It looks like blow.

SHANNON
It was blow, now it's freebase.
This is what separates the men from the boys.
Or, in this case, uh --

ANDY
What separates our legs.

DEX
Our brain cells.

Shannon GIGGLES.

SHANNON
You guys.
(beat)
Okay. Time for your lesson.
Pay attention to the teacher.

Shannon opens the cabinet below the sink
and pulls out a small acetylene torch.

SHANNON
First, you need a little fire power.

ANDY
Fuck.

DEX
Cool.

Andy and Dex are riveted.

Shannon spoons some freebase
into the bowl of the pipe.
She grabs the torch and expertly FIRES it.

SHANNON
First you gotta fry the fucker for a little bit.

Shannon directs the flame at the glass bowl.
Chemistry class.

ANDY
This is so cool.

Dex just nods. He sees Christ.

SHANNON
Just another second. Hold on --

Andy wrinkles his nose at the acrid odor.
They watch intently.

The freebase starts to bubble.
White smoke starts to fill the round bulb.

SHANNON
Okay -- as soon as it fills up --
you suck it in -- like the best fucking cock
you've ever sucked!

Shannon JAMS the pipe in her mouth and SUCKS.
The smoke FLIES up the stem through her lips.

She holds it in.
Her eyes start to BUG.

ANDY
Jesus Christ.

DEX
Shit.

Shannon's face starts turning red.
She's about to ERUPT.

ANDY
Go girl!

Suddenly, she lets the smoke
out with a HACK, then starts CHOKING.
She POUNDS on the counter with her fist.

SHANNON
Akk! Akk! Akk!
HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK!!!.... FUCK!

ANDY
Shit! Are you okay?

Andy hands Shannon her drink,
which she downs hungrily.

SHANNON
I'm... ah. HACK, HACK! Okay...
(pause)
I'm, HACK, ok-ay... Uh, hem!

She SPITS in the sink.

SHANNON
Whew.

ANDY
Wow.

Shannon closes her eyes,
rushing on the freebase.
She opens her eyes, looking possessed,
exhilarated, orgasmic.

Andy and Dex watch excitedly.
They both can't wait to try it.
Shannon throws her head back.

SHANNON
Fuck me.
(beat)
Lesson number one, boys.
You gotta choke.
It's no fucking good
unless you choke --

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Crossover Dreams


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of SPIRAL, after being dumped by Slash, Savannah visits her so-called new boyfriend Danny Boy of House of Pain on the set of his music video, but gets the cold shoulder when he gets a call from his latest conquest ...


EXT. RALEIGH STUDIOS LOT - DAY
The classic arched sign, gate and guard box.
It's a sunny day in East Hollywood.

Shannon's white Corvette
pulls up to the gate.

Bright, cheerful pop music
plays on the car stereo.

SHANNON
Hi.
I'm here for the
House of Pain shoot.
I'm Shannon Wilsey.

The guard looks at his list.

GUARD
Okay, hon.
(pause)
Say, aren't you...

Shannon punches the gas and drives off.

SHANNON
Yes I am!

A second guard comes into
the booth with two coffees.

GUARD NO. 2
I think that was Savannah.

GUARD NO. 1
Shit. I thought so.
I was gonna ask her for her autograph.

CLOSE UP OF NATIONAL ENQUIRER MAGAZINE COVER.
The magazine lies on the guard's desk.

Shannon's beaming face is
splashed across the cover.

The headline screams
SLASH DUMPS PORN STAR GAL PAL.

INT. SOUNDSTAGE - DAY
A giant soundstage.
Three Panavision cameras.

A crane. A dolly.
In the middle is a boxing ring set.

GRIPS, GAFFERS, CAMERAMEN, P.A.'s, WARDROBE,
MAKEUP, RECORD CO. EXECS., PUBLICISTS, AGENTS,
and HANGERS-ON buzz like bees in a hive.

ANDY (V.O.)
Shannon was so excited
about being in a video.

She was dating Danny Boy
of The House of Pain, and their song
"Jump Around" was a big hit.

Shannon said this was
her ticket to the big time.
Her crossover dream was coming true.

DANNY BOY, (early 20's),
near the ring drinking a beer.

His cell phone rings.
He flips it open.

DANNY BOY
Hi, Felina.

A beat. Danny sips his beer.

DANNY BOY
After we're done.
I'll call you.
(listens)
Sounds like you've been
a bad little girl.
Daddy's gonna have to
punish you when he gets home.

Danny CLAPS the phone shut and smiles.
The VIDEO DIRECTOR walks over to Danny.

VIDEO DIRECTOR
Danny.
We're almost ready to start.
I just wanted to talk about
your motivation for a sec.

DANNY BOY
It seems pretty simple to me.
I'm just boxing, right?

DIRECTOR
Yes, but it's a statement.

DANNY BOY
A statement?

VIDEO DIRECTOR
Yes. I see "Jump Around"
as a statement about angry,
dissatisfied youth who are
bored and need to,
well, jump around.
You know, in the ring.
The ring of life.

DANNY BOY
I see.
(pause)
So we're raging.

VIDEO DIRECTOR
Exactly.

LATER IN THE SOUNDSTAGE - NIGHT
The shoot has wrapped.
The director holds a
bullhorn to his mouth.

A loud buzzer BLEATS.

VIDEO DIRECTOR
I think we've got it on that one.
That's a wrap.

Shannon approaches Danny Boy,
who's whispering into his cell phone.

DANNY BOY
It went late, Felina.
I'll pick you up in half an hour.

Danny sees Shannon.
He puts the phone in his pocket.

SHANNON
You were great, Danny.

DANNY BOY
You were too, my little flower.

They kiss.

SHANNON
What are you doing now?
Wanna hang out?

DANNY BOY
Oh, god. I'm sorry, baby.
I gotta get some sleep.
I'm fuckin' beat.

SHANNON
Oh. Okay.

DANNY BOY
I'll call you tomorrow.
How about we go to Magic Mountain?

SHANNON
Really? Okay. Great.
(beat)
Good night, Danny.

They kiss again.

DANNY BOY
Good night, baby.

Shannon leaves.

The director walks over to Danny.

VIDEO DIRECTOR
You let a piece of ass
like that leave?

Danny grins wickedly.

DANNY BOY
I had her last night.
Tonight I've got a naughty
little Catholic girl
in Brentwood that
needs a little tutoring --