Friday, April 27, 2018

Show Me Yours, And I'll Show You Mine


Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of A DISH BEST KILLED, Jett and Rush go to a seedy pawn shop on the wrong side of the tracks and buy an illegal firearm ...


EXT. PAWN SHOP - DAY
A shitty cinder block bunker
with bars on the windows
on the wrong end of
Lincoln Boulevard.
Se Hablo Espanole.

Jett and Rush
stand at the door.

Press the intercom button.
BUZZZZZZZZZ. They go in.

INT. PAWN SHOP - AT THAT MOMENT
Jett and Rush squint
in the darkness.

A HEAVYSET LATIN GUY
sits behind the counter.

He puts a wad of cash
in a strong box.
CLICKS it shut.

BEHIND THE COUNTER
we see he’s holding
a 9MM automatic.

HEAVYSET LATIN GUY
Hola, amigo.
What can I do for you today?

RUSH
You Luna?

LUNA
I’m Luna.

RUSH
You sell -- guns?

LUNA
(smiles)
Who told you that?

RUSH
Uh, guy named Ramirez,
down in Long Beach.
Big guy, like you,
rides with the
Los Muertos cycle club.
Customer of mine.

LUNA
What do you sell?

RUSH
(pulls out a vial)
Show me yours, and
I’ll show you mine.

Luna smiles broadly,
displaying rows of gold teeth.

LUNA
Ramirez, that fat fuck.
Why didn’t you say so?

INT. JETT’S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
Jett holds a 38 special
down low below the dashboard.
Stares at it, wide-eyed.

JETT
I like -- how it feels.

Rush points his
SERVICE REVOLVER
out the window.
Takes aim.

RUSH
Just like back home
shooting pigeons in the barn --

He squeezes the trigger. CLICK.



Friday, April 20, 2018

Like An Animal


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 25 of A DISH BEST KILLED, homicide dick Cal Seely grills sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz about the murder of retired film director Dart Crayce ...


EXT. MARINA - SHERIFF’S SUBSTATION - DAY
An old, wooden shack
at the edge of the pier.

The Sheriff’s skiff floats
and bobs in the water nearby.

INT. SHERIFF’S SUBSTATION - DAY
Trimmer sits at his desk.
Filling out a report.

Shitty 70’s ‘soft rock’ plays
softly on a cheap boombox.
Afternoon Delight, indeed.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Anybody home?

TRIMMER
Entree, si vous plait.

Cal Seely ambles in.
Perspiring in his overcoat.

CAL
Deputy Waltz?

TRIMMER
You’re lookin’ at him.

CAL
(flashes badge)
Detective Sergeant Cal Seely, Homicide.

TRIMMER
Please to meet you.
Pull up a log.

CAL
(pulls out a cigar)
I like to stand.
Mind if I smoke?

TRIMMER
I’m allergic. Sorry.
(looks)
That’s quite a stogie.
Freud would have a
field day with THAT.

CAL
(not amused)
I’m investigating the
death of Dart Crayce.

TRIMMER
The film director, on the houseboat.
Yes. Tragic.
(shakes his head)
His poor wife.

CAL
Yes. His poor, young wife --

TRIMMER
Oh. Now listen,
I’ve met her,
she’s a nice lady.
No way she could have --

CAL
It’s a good motive.
What was he -- 80 years old?

TRIMMER
85, I think.

CAL
And I’m sure he was
worth a lot of money.
All those classic, old movies --

They look at each other. Thinking.

TRIMMER
If you ask me, I think you should
check out her personal trainer.
I’ve seen them working out --
and I sensed there was
more going on than just --
weight lifting, if
you know what I mean.

CAL
(pulls out notebook)
The trainer. What’s his name?

TRIMMER
HER name.
Jett something.
Jett -- Targo, that’s it.
She’s a, you know --
(mimes flexing arm muscle)
Real strong.

CAL
Lesbo? They having an affair?

TRIMMER
God, no. It’s just that --
I’m out on my boat every morning,
and I’d see them. And, I dunno --
it’s a gut feeling. You know --
(beat)
The way she’d look at Mrs. Crayce.
All hungry-like.

CAL
(narrows his eyes)
A gut feeling.
(off his nod)
Hungry-like.

PUSH IN ON Trimmer.
A rude leer.

TRIMMER
Yeah, you know --
like an animal. Hungry.

Friday, April 13, 2018

Seems Like Old Times


Happy Friday the 13th, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of A DISH BEST KILLED, after discovering that Haven is two-timing her with sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz, Jett persuades Rush to get her a gun ...


INT. JETT’S APARTMENT - A LITTLE LATER
Jett STORMS into the room.
SLAMS the door.

Rush lolls on the couch
watching TV drinking a beer.

She walks over. Sees the mirror
with the lines of speed he’s been
chopping up on the coffee table.

JETT
Okay, here’s the deal.
If you want your cut, you’re
gonna have to work for it.
(beat)
I need your help.

RUSH
Sure, sure. What can I do?

Jett sits down next to him.
Looks at the drugs.

JETT
You know my -- friend?

RUSH
Haven?

JETT
Yeah. She’s --
(shudders)
She’s fucking the Sheriff’s deputy.
And they’re setting me up.

RUSH
Holy SHIT.

JETT
Mind if do one of those?

RUSH
Fuck, no. Now we’re talking.
(hands her a straw)
Madam, your carriage awaits.

JETT
(takes it)
Giddyap.
She leans down. SNORTS a
line in her left nostril.

Then another in her right.
She shakes her head. WHOOSH.

RUSH
You’re gonna be fucking flying,
after being clean so long.

JETT
(SNORTS another)
Goddamn right.

RUSH
So what’s the plan?
What can I help with?

JETT
I need you to help me -- get a gun.

Jett reaches over.
Wets a finger in Rush’s water glass.
Touches it to her nose. SNORTS it.

RUSH
A gun? What for?

JETT
I’m gonna kill the motherfucker.

RUSH
But he’s a cop.

PUSH IN ON Jett.
Eyes blazing with chemical fire.

JETT
Kinda like old times, huh?

Friday, April 6, 2018

Forgive and Forget is For Suckers


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of A DISH BEST KILLED, Jett discovers to her horror that Haven is two-timing her with sheriff's deputy Trimmer Waltz, and that they're planning on running off with the insurance money from her dead husband ...


INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - GALLEY - MORNING
Haven’s at the bar. Mixing champagne
and OJ in a pitcher.

HAVEN
Silly. It’s never too early for a MIMOSA.
(turns, to someone off-camera)
We have to celebrate.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
The king is dead. Long live the queen.

Haven picks up the drinks, walks over to --

TRIMMER WALTZ
seated on the couch.
Splayed out like he owns the joint.

TRIMMER
(takes a drink, smiles)
Thank you, my love.
(pats the couch)
Come sit next to me, my little firecracker.

Haven sits next to him. Sips her drink.

HAVEN
Who you calling a firecracker?

TRIMMER
I can’t believe it. We’re almost done.
(beat)
When’s the reading of the will?

HAVEN
Tomorrow.

TRIMMER
Eight-hundred thousand smackeroos.
(toasts)
Here’s to that cabin up in Big Bear.

They CLINK. Sip.

HAVEN
I know we talked about Big Bear,
but I was thinking --

TRIMMER
Whoah. That could be dangerous.

HAVEN
Shut up. Listen to me.
(sips)
I think it might be better
if we went to Mexico. You know,
one of those little fishing towns
on the coast, like in
That Killing Feeling.

TRIMMER
But I don’t speak Spanish --

OUTSIDE ON THE DECK
Jett stands near the open window,
shade down, listening.

IN THE GALLEY
Haven gets up. Goes to the bar,
fixes another drink.

HAVEN
I just think it would be -- safer.
The cops couldn’t touch us.

TRIMMER
That’s true.
(finishes his drink)
Tell you what. We’ll think about it.
(beat)
And what about Ms. Targo?
(nasty laugh)
Or should I say MR. Targo --

HAVEN
Nola’s body. I find out where she’s stashed it --
and then you tip off Detective Seely.

TRIMMER
You’re an evil genius, baby.
(beat)
But you know that.

HAVEN
(evil grin)
Takes one to know one.

TRIMMER
I gotta ask you something.
(beat)
Didn’t you like it --
at least a little bit -- when that buff,
young specimen went down on you?

HAVEN
What the fuck?

TRIMMER
Well, they say only a woman
knows what another woman wants --

OUTSIDE ON THE DECK
Jett blinks back tears. Turns.
Quietly walks away. Head down.

IN THE GALLEY
Haven DOWNS her cocktail.
Starts fixing another.

HAVEN
Don’t be ridiculous.

TRIMMER
It’s okay, baby. I find it --
kind of a turn-on.
(eyes narrow)
If things were different,
I might just wanna -- join in.

HAVEN
(snorts)
As if.

TRIMMER
Excuse me?

She takes a sip. Lights a smoke.
Crosses over to him.

HAVEN
You think she was my first?
(laughs)
That’s what all you guys want.
To 'join in.'
(beat)
Fucking creepy.

Trimmer stares. Be careful here.

TRIMMER
Hey, now -- I was just kidding, baby doll.
Just tryin’ to get a rise out of you.
Let’s not fight.

HAVEN
You started it.

He gets up. Puts his arms around her.

TRIMMER
I’m sorry.
(touches her chin)
You forgive me, baby?

PUSH IN ON Haven. Faint smile.
Eyes off somewhere else.

HAVEN
Forgive and forget is for suckers --