Getting Jizzy With It

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of FULL BODY, we meet Portuguese masseuse Catalina Gil, who discovers that one of the security guards at The International has been secretly videotaping her sessions. Meanwhile, manager Etya Vlaovic is pleasuring herself in her office while thinking of the new girl Summer Donovan ... while in the next room, Summer gets a tutorial from French/African goddess Ayanna Prouxl on the art of erotic massage ...


INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - DAY
A silky, olive-skinned gazelle
straightens the room.

Meet CATALINA GIL, (27)
eighth Portuguese wonder of the world.

Charcoal curls frame
a sexy, crooked nose.
Eyes glinting.

Wide slash of a smile.
Humming some secret song.

She bends over.
Picks up a towel.
Cute bum.

ON A VIDEO SCREEN
We see Catalina’s splendor.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
What I wouldn’t give
to toss her fuckin’ salad.
How much for a Roman helmet?

INT. SECURITY WATCH SUITE - CONTINUOUS
Sitting in a swivel chair in front of
a bank of video monitors is ROD KATZ (30’s).

A pasty, sweaty slug of a security guard.
Too-small uniform about to pop buttons.

He shoves in a mouthful
of flamin’ red hot Cheetos. Crunches.

Sticky bright red fingers rub his crotch.
Beady eyes flicker.

ROD
How about a Dirty Sanchez?

ON THE SCREEN
Catalina senses something.
Turns. Looks INTO THE CAMERA.

Gives it the finger.
Then slashes her throat with it.

CATALINA
Pervert!

She storms out.
SLAMS the door.

Rod bursts into scary laughter.
He reaches over.

Picks up a videotape.
Slides it in.

ON THE SCREEN
we see Catalina, smiling.
A CLIENT massages her breasts.

ROD (O.C.)
I’m gonna make a fuckin’ fortune --

INT. STAIRWELL - AT THAT MOMENT
Catalina walks down the stairs
to the first floor.

Talks on her cell.
Exasperated.

CATALINA
I’m sorry -- but I have to work
a bit later than I thought tonight --
(listens)
I told you this would happen sometimes --
(listens)
There’s a whole chicken in the fridge,
all you have to do is --
(listens)
Stop shouting at me!
We’re separating, so go get
your own kitchen and hire a cook!

She angrily CLICKS the phone shut.

PUSH IN ON Catalina.
Crossing herself.
A whispered prayer.

INT. ETYA’S OFFICE - AERIAL POV - AT THAT MOMENT
We see Etya. Alone.

A giant ‘space needle’
vibrator up her skirt.

Working it in slow circles.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

CLOSE ON
Etya’s face.
Eyes closed.
In her fantasy --

SUMMER
stands across from her.
Takes off her top.

ETYA
writhes with pleasure.
The BUZZING increases. Louder.

SUMMER
wriggles out of her skirt.
Naughty in girlish lingerie.

SUMMER
Gee whiz.
I’d do just about anything
to get this job.

ETYA’S
head falls back.
Moves in slow circles.
Softly moans.

ETYA
(in Croatian, English subtitles)
Come for Etya,
my little whippoorwill --

INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer sits on the edge of the table.
Listening to --

AYANNA PROUXL (25),
delicious French-African souffle.

An ebony figurine of impossible beauty.
Faye Dunaway cheekbones.

Swan-like neck.
Legs for days.

And nights.

AYANNA
You have five minutes to straighten
up the room for the next client.
Wipe down the table.
Make sure you get all the jizz.
Put the towels in the hamper,
the next girl brings the fresh ones.
Put out fresh toiletries --
and that’s it, you’re done.
Any questions?

SUMMER
I can’t believe you said -- jizz.

AYANNA
It is perfect American word
for what it is.
Rank. Vile. Disgusting.
(beat)
Okay, let’s get jizzy wit it.

I want you to lie down on the table,
because I am going to show you
how massage is done.

Summer does.
Lies on her stomach.

SUMMER
(scared)
Are you -- gonna give me a --

AYANNA
(SMACKS her butt)
You better not wish for
what you might not want.
My tongue have superpowers.

Summer’s eyes widen.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
I’m teasing. Not at work.
It causes -- conflicts.

SUMMER
You don’t shit where you eat?

AYANNA
Another American phrase
I do not understand.
Who defecates where they dine?
It is ridiculous.
Enough talking.
We are here to work.
I am to show you rope.

Ayanna walks behind Summer’s head.
Gentle fingertips rub her temples.
Little circular motions.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
First we clear the head
of all the thoughts of the day.
The gentlemen who come here
are rich, successful,
under a lot of stress.

PUSH IN ON Ayanna’s face.
Appraising the fresh meat.