Die Another Day

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of FULL BODY, Australian spinner Lindsay Lett and Navy Seal Gus Hardon secretly get it on in the massage room, but after they finish, she blows his mind with a surprising demand. Meanwhile, in the next room, Summer is having a hard time getting black ops spook Dwight Blank to 'finish' ...


INT. BLUE MASSAGE ROOM - NIGHT
Gus and Lindsey fuck
for all their worth.

It’s animal.
Vegetable. Mineral.

He arches his back.
Beaming. In ecstasy.

Lindsey’s fingers race
through his hair.

LINDSEY
Fucking CHRIST --
I’m gonna, I’m gonna --

GUS
So AM I!
Goddamn fucking Jesus CHRIST!

And, in a moment of pure cinema --
They CLIMAX simultaneously.

He bucks, HEAVES.
She shakes, GRINDS.

They grip each other.
Sweaty. Salty. Spent.

Then pull apart.
Gus gets a towel.

Wipes himself.
Ties it around his waist.

GUS
That was -- fucking awesome.

LINDSEY
(goofy grin)
Yeah.
(beat)
Goddammit.

GUS
We gotta do that
again sometime.

LINDSEY
Any time.

Gus motions to the door.

GUS
Well, I guess I gotta --

LINDSEY
Yeah.
(beat)
Oh.
One last thing --

GUS
Sure.
What?

Pause.

LINDSEY
(brightly)
That’ll be a thousand dollars.

INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
From the side, we see
Summer working on Dwight.

He lies on his back, knees up,
obscuring the details.

The spook moans an eerie rasp
of dark pleasure.

Summer’s exhausted.
This has been going on for a while.

Beads of sweat on her brow.
Wipes it with her wrist. Sighs.

DWIGHT’S
face is a rictus of concentration.
Eyes rolled back.

Sharp pink tongue of a serpent,
demented flicks on cracked lips.

THE CLOCK
reads ‘10:24.’

SUMMER
sighs.

Looks over at the bar.
Closes her eyes.

INT. CLUB - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Small, smoky hipster dive.
Posers and pros on the prowl.

Standing on a tiny stage is SUMMER.
Retro-cool in a Mondrian print dress.

Silver go-go boots and headband.
She raises a pink martini.

Takes a sip.
Toasts the crowd.

SUMMER
This one’s a cover.
Guess the artist,
and I’ll buy you a round.

Spazzy surf-guitar and flute.
Outer-space bongos.

The Supreme Beings of Leisure’s
GOLDDIGGER.

SUMMER
(sings)
Just a lazy cat
in a dog eat dog world --
You know the early bird
always catches the worm --
Golddigger --

She shimmies and sways.
Knocking ‘em out.
Leans in close.

SUMMER
Gotta rocket in your pocket
and it’s straight to the top --
Golddigger, who says
you can’t have it all?

INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - CONTINUOUS
Summer peers down
at her ridiculous mission.

Looks at the clock.
It reads ‘10:29.’

She SMILES.
Eyes darting.

SUMMER
Time’s almost up.
Shoot it or lose it.

Dwight’s eyes open.
He GRABS her wrist.

DWIGHT
No. Wait.
I haven’t come --

She WHIPS him away.
THROWS a towel over him.

SUMMER
Then I guess you’ll have to
die another day, Mr. Bond.

PUSH IN ON Summer.
In control.
Getting the fuck outta there --

From Brassiere To Eternity

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of FULL BODY, French/African gazelle Ayanna Prouxl and Portuguese delight Catalina Gil get 'up close and personal,' much to the delight of the Surgeon General. Meanwhile, security guard Rod Katz, after getting busted by undercover agent Reynolds Tan for secretly videotaping the girls' massage sessions, comes up with a dastardly plan to get rid of her ...


INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - NIGHT
Ayanna does a little dance.
Sipping champagne.

Chick does a strange shuffle.
Puffs on a joint. Passes it.

AYANNA
Thanks.
You’re not so bad
for an old geezer --

CHICK
Geezer?
Why, I’ll have you know
I won the Cha-cha contest
at the Brown Derby in ‘46.
Used to be quite the hoofer,
if you must know --

The door opens.
In comes Catalina.

All smiles.
Then smells --

CATALINA
You’re smoking marijuana?

CHICK
Don’t be alarmed.
I slipped the security lad a C-note.
We could kill someone in here
for all he cares.

Chick takes the joint from Ayanna.
Another toke.

CATALINA
So what’s your pleasure, doctor?

CHICK
My pleasure is --
(nods at Ayanna)
Her pleasure.
It seems my friend here
has quite a hankering for you --

CATALINA
(stares at Ayanna)
A hankering -- for me?

AYANNA
Sur-priii-ise.

CHICK
And I thought it would
be fun if you two --
made whoopee --
while I watched.

CATALINA
Make -- whoopee?

CHICK
(hands her a roll of bills)
One thousand reasons to say yes.

Catalina stares at the wad.
Eyes wide. Nods.

Ayanna entwines her arms
around the gazelle.
Eyes druggy slits.

AYANNA
Come on, don’t tell me --
you never thought about it.

CATALINA
(blushes, whispers)
Actually, I, I -- have.

Ayanna picks Catalina up.
Carries her to the table.

Gently lies her down.
Slides on top.
Starts caressing her.

Chick’s eyes grow
wide with wonder.
He sits.

Slides a hand into
the folds of his robe.

Starts working it.
In ecstacy.

Catalina moans.
Starts KISSING Ayanna.
Which inflames her.

She slowly puts her hand
up Catalina’s skirt.

CHICK
Suffering succotash!
Not now! Not yet! I -

Chick’s body JERKS.
He lets out a weird,
high-pitched YIP.

Stops.
Eyes go glassy.

The girls keep going at it.
Hot and heavy. Oblivious.

INT. SECURITY WATCH ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Rod watches on a monitor.
Face red.
He POUNDS the console.

ROD
Goddamn fucking dyke --
this woulda out-sold
fucking Paris Hilton
and Pamela Anderson COMBINED.

He picks up the phone.
Dials. Listens.

ROD
Henry?

SPLIT SCREEN WITH:

INT. LOFT - AT THAT MOMENT
Dark, cavernous.
Windows blacked out.

Banks of computers.
Video game consoles.

Porno movie posters.
A gamer’s lair.

HIROKU TAKEO (27), heavyset
with a giant, round head,
geek extraordinaire,
slurps noodles.

Speaks into his headset.

HIROKU
Hiroku, asshole.
What’s up?

ROD
Why can’t I just
call you Henry?

HIROKU
Because THAT’S NOT MY NAME.
(beat)
What -- do -- you -- want, ROD.
(low, to himself)
Retard --

ROD
Okay, lookit.
We got trouble.
I got busted today --

HIROKU
The cops?
The fucking cops?

ROD
No, worse.
A -- Federal agent.

HIROKU
You fucking inbred IDIOT.

ROD
Hey now, calm down --
she was undercover, HERE --
how was I supposed to know?
And now she says I gotta
help her bring the place down --
or else it’s my ass in a sling.

Hiroku smiles.
Piggy eyes pondering.

ROD
Hen -- Hi-row-koo?
You still there?

HIROKU
Interesting visual image.
Limited market, but it
might be worth exploring.

ROD
So whadda we gonna do?

HIROKU
We make her -- go away.

ROD
So you’ll -- make the flight plans?

HIROKU
Yes.
(eyes light up)
I just had a brilliant idea.

ROD
What.

He SLURPS a long, fat noodle.

HIROKU
We videotape it.

PUSH IN ON Rod’s face.
Greedy eyes darting.

No Glove, No Love

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of FULL BODY, massage parlor owner Yuri Vlaovic comes bearing 45-caliber birthday presents for his darling daughter Etya. Meanwhile, Australian spitfire Lindsay Lett gets 'up close and personal' with Navy Seal Gus Hardon ... while newbie masseuse Summer Donovan tangles with black ops spook Dwight Blank's grabby hands ...


INT. ETYA’S OFFICE - NIGHT
The sublimely ridiculously catchy
Austrian 80’s power-pop of
Falco’s AMERIKA over --

Etya.
Cleaning a gleaming Glock.

Vodka bottle and
shot glass nearby.

She nods to the music.
SLAMS down the magazine.

ETYA
How DARE she think
she can come into my life --
and FUCK with it -- AGAIN.

Etya pours a shot.
Raises it, a toast.

ETYA
To family.
(giggles)
Death in family --

Downs it.
She pours another.

Stands.
Downs it.

Starts doing a drunken,
demented twist.

ETYA
(sings)
Amerika, wo, wo, wo, wo --
Amerika --

A KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK
on the door.

She shuts off the music.

ETYA
Is open.
Come in.

Yuri ambles in.
Hands in pockets.
Eyes dancing.

YURI
I come bearing gift,
darling daughter.

ETYA
Oh!
I love gift --
but what about
security you promise?

Yuri pulls twin UZIS
out of this pockets.
Smiles.

YURI
They bring out the
black in your eyes.

ETYA
Oh, Poppa --
you know just what
to give a girl.
I think I’m going to cry --

INT. BLUE MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Lindsey and Gus clinch.
Devouring each other.

Gus has her up
against the wall.

Ravaging her.
Hungry. Needy. Horny.

GUS
You are so --

LINDSEY
Fucking -- hot --

GUS
(pulls back)
I want you.
I’ve gotta --

LINDSEY
Shhhhh.
The walls have ears.
And eyes.

IN THE MASSAGE ROOM
Lindsey looks at the camera
high up on the wall.

She walks directly below it.
Presses her ass
into the corner.

LINDSEY
Peek-a-boo,
I can’t see you --
(breathy)
Now where were we?

Gus comes to her.
Runs his fingers
through her hair.

GUS
Fucking our brains out?

He lifts her skirt.
Starts to slide in.

LINDSEY
Hey.

GUS
SEALS ride bareback, baby.
Gotta problem with that?

LINDSEY
(pulls out a condom)
Yeah, I do.
No glove, no love.
No deep stealth without it.

She deftly RIPS it open,
pops it in her mouth.
Smiles.

FROM BEHIND LINDSEY
we see her head move
down to his crotch.

SNAP.

GUS
Ow.

LINDSEY
Hey -- no pain, no gain.

FROM BEHIND GUS
we see him THRUST into her.

Hard.
Then harder.
Claws at her.

She writhes with
unbelievable pleasure.

LINDSEY
Holy fucking shit --

GUS
Permission to come, MISS --

LINDSEY
Permission -- GRANTED.

INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer stands at the end
of the massage table.

Holds a coke inhaler to her nose.
SNORTS. Rubs it. SNORTS. Smiles.

DWIGHT (O.C.)
Took him out in one shot
from a range of
three hundred yards.
In the dark.
And I had a cold.

SUMMER
But he was a bad guy, right?

Dwight comes into frame.
Towel wrapped around his waist.

SLAPS down a large bundle
of bills. Takes the snifter.

DWIGHT
(SNORT)
El Presidente?
Elected by the people? Nah.
The White House was pissed
that he wouldn’t trade weapons
for blow.
(points at the cash)
That’s about five grand.
Should be enough for
a little slap and tickle.

He comes over.
Puts hands on her waist.
She backs away.

SUMMER
Slap and tickle?

DWIGHT
Wang dang sweet poontang, baby.

SUMMER
We can’t have intercourse.
It’s against the rules.
Now c’mon, get up on the table,
let me give you a massage.

DWIGHT
No fucking?
Ah, man -- what a gyp.
This sure as shit isn’t Thailand.
In Phuket? You can get a
thirteen-year-old virgin
for twenty bucks.
For the NIGHT.
And she doesn’t give you
any fucking lip.

SUMMER
Well, this isn’t Thailand.
And you better get your
butt in gear if you want
to feel my splendor.

DWIGHT
(raises hands)
One squeeze.
Each tit.
One hundy.

She nods. Pained.
He GRABS them.

DWIGHT
(squeeze-squeeze)
Honk-honk!

SUMMER
Ow! Not so hard!
That’s your first warning!

He giggles. Turns away.
Takes off the towel.

Reveals a bony white ass.
Gets up. Lays on his stomach.

DWIGHT
Jeez.
Such a delicate creature.
C’mon, lighten up.
This IS a service industry, you know --
(turns his head toward her)
How about a hundred for a blumpkin?

Suicide Blonde

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of FULL BODY, French/African Ayanna Prouxl's massage session with the Surgeon General takes a turn for the opiate when he convinces her to snort heroin. Meanwhile, Portuguese vixen Catalina Gil services Turkish ambassador Omar Turgenev, with unexpectedly violent results ...


INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - NIGHT
Dr. Almond sits on the table.
Gestures to a small, jewel-encrusted
mirror with four tiny lines
laid out on it.

CHICK
Prepare to ride the dragon, princess.

He hands her a silver tube.
A diamond glints on the end.

Ayanna bends over.
Inserts the straw.

AYANNA
It’s -- brown?
Is that --

CHICK
Heroin? Indeed.
Please, don’t tell me
you’ve never done smack.
I thought you were a woman
of the world.

AYANNA
I am, but I’m not
some fucking junkie --

CHICK
It’s not addictive
if you snort it.
I’ve been gacking
for over forty years now.
(sighs, remembering)
In London you register
with the government,
get it free --

Ayanna stares.
Wheels turning.

CHICK
Oh, come on, two little lines
won’t hurt you.
And you won’t get addicted.
Don’t forget I’m a doctor.
(beat)
A very rich doctor --

AYANNA
How’s your bedside manner?
(does a line, rubs her nose)
Doesn’t burn as bad as --

Ayanna CLUTCHES her stomach.
Turns green.

CHICK
You might want to run to the loo.

She does. Like a rabbit.
RETCHING in the next room.

CHICK
Splash some water on your face!
Now comes the fun part!

Ayanna weaves back into the room.
Dreamy, shit-eating grin.

CHICK
Someone looks orgasmic.
How do you feel?

AYANNA
Like I see Jesus --
and she’s really fucking hot --
and I want to fuck the shit
out of her.

CHICK
Splendid idea!
I think we need to get a
little play-toy for
you to snack on --

AYANNA
(dreamy)
Play-toy --

CHICK
Do you have anyone in mind?

AYANNA
Yeah -- I do.

PUSH IN on Ayanna’s hungry eyes.

AYANNA
Cat-a-li-na --

DISSOLVE TO:

CATALINA’S FACE
as she looks down.
Working her magic.

OMAR (O.C.)
God, yes.
That’s so fucking GOOD.

INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
From Omar’s head POV,
we see Catalina working on him.

(Note: His head obscures what she’s doing --
we only see her arm down to her elbow.
But we can tell she’s pumping him.)

CATALINA
Such a good boy --
are you ready, baby?

OMAR
God, yes -- hell,
no -- s’too good --

Her eyes register pain.
Lips, a big fake smile.

She keeps working it.
Omar GROANS.

CATALINA
That’s right, close your eyes,
feels so good --
(looks at watch)
We’re getting near
the end of the session, baby --
don’t you want to finish?

OMAR
Okay, okay --

Suddenly he GRABS his tie.
YANKS on it. HARD.

CATALINA
What are you DOING?
You’re going to choke!

OMAR
(releases a little, gurgles)
Don’t stop!
Don’t stop!
Keep going!

CATALINA
Alight, alright!

He YANKS on the tie.
Face red.

Eyes bulge.
Tongue lolls out.

CATALINA
Stop!
You’re going to kill yourself!

OMAR
Gaaaaaa -- gonna cuh -- gonna cuh --

CATALINA
Do it, baby!
Do it for me!

He FLINGS away the tie.
SPASMS like a bull on steroids.
A primal, animal BRAY at the moon.

OMAR
YEAAAHHHHHHH -- ARGGGHHH!

Omar JERKS like a rabid puppet.
Stops, as if in mid-air.

OMAR
Goddammit to FUCK.
That was fucking INCREDIBLE.

Catalina grabs a towel.
Covers him.

CATALINA
What is the thing --
with the tie?

Omar sits up.
Glazed, evil smile.

OMAR
Just a little trick I picked up
in the south of France
from an 80’s rock singer.
(beat)
But he did it -- 'in excess.'

The Silence Of The Clams

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of FULL BODY, Summer Donovan has her hands full when she has a session with black ops spook Dwight Blank, who has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Meanwhile, Yuri Vlaovic meets with Senator Hassig, who he's blackmailing with incriminating photos of him dressed like a Hooter's girl ...


INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - NIGHT
Propellerheads’ drum-and-bass
acid-jazz cover of
ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE over --

Summer, in a spa
next to DWIGHT BLANK (30’s).

Flabby, strange-looking.
Mouth a sneer.

Black, beady eyes flicker
like secret butterflies.

Sips cognac.
Looks like he needs a bath.
And he’s IN one.

DWIGHT
C’mon.
Sit on my lap.

Summer smiles faintly.
Maneuvers on top of him.

DWIGHT
Nice.
(looks around)
I like this place.
I’m going to have to
come here all the time.
(squeezes her boobs)
And request YOU.
Ha.

SUMMER
(SMACKS his hands away)
NO!

DWIGHT
But I thought that we could --

SUMMER
You have to negotiate
for things like that.

DWIGHT
Oh, I see -- kind of like
when you’re in Africa,
and you need
missile launcher parts --
and all you have to
bargain with is a camel.

Pause.

SUMMER
Yeah.
Like that.

DWIGHT
So how much
to squeeze your tits?

SUMMER
Uh -- fifty dollars.
Each.

DWIGHT
(grabs, SQUEEZES her boobs)
Whoooooooo!

SUMMER
Hey! No!
Stop that!

DWIGHT
But I thought
for a hundred clams --

SUMMER
We were still negotiating!

DWIGHT
Are all the women here
so passive-aggressive?

SUMMER
Okay, look.
You’re obviously a newbie.
Here’s the deal --
the GIRL calls the shots.
You get two chances to behave.
On the third,
you get thrown out.
Got it?

DWIGHT
Got it.
(beat)
Bet you’re really good
with a riding crop.

SUMMER
What?

DWIGHT
Hey.
I’ve got an idea.
Wanna do some blow?

SUMMER
You have -- coke?

DWIGHT
US government
pharmaceutical grade, baby.
Opens doors in Nicaragua --
(beat)
Whaddaya say we get on the table
and play ‘drug mule and the sheik?’

Summer takes a sip of cognac.
Makes a face.

SUMMER
Okay.
But no camels.

EXT. WASHINGTON MONUMENT - REFLECTING POOL - AT THAT MOMENT
Yuri sits on a park bench.
Talks on his cell.

YURI
Just sit tight.
She just got here,
she’s going to wait
for perfect moment,
she wants to torture us.
Nothing will happen tonight.
(listens)
Calm down, calm down.
I’ll get you more security.
And after I finish this deal,
I put out hit on the cunt.
(listens)
I’m sorry.
Your mother --

A FIGURE IN BLACK approaches.
Yuri sees him.

Picks up Oogie.
Puts him in his pocket.

YURI
I must go now, ljubavnik.
Client is here.
(beat)
Love you, too --

He hangs up.
Looks at the FIGURE (40’s).

Tall, lean, Kennedy-esque.
The grim version.
Anxious. Pissed.

YURI
Senator Hassig.
Nice to see you.

HASSIG
You fucking bastard.

YURI
Kill strip club ban,
make sure vote don’t pass,
and maybe I have second thought.

HASSIG
You’re a scumbag.

YURI
And you’re stimulating
conversationalist.
Would be shame for gossip rags
to get picture of you
dressed like Hooters girl.

HASSIG
I’ve got your money,
you greasy bastard.

He pulls a fat envelope
out of his jacket pocket.
Tosses it.

Yuri smiles grimly.
Looks inside.
Nods. Stands.

YURI
Pleasure doing business.

He offers his hand to shake.
Hassig SPITS.

HASSIG
Business, right.
You’re a fucking lowlife thug,
a blight on this nation’s capitol.

YURI
That might be --
but I don’t
dress like cheerleader
and stick large vegetable
in rectum.

Training Day

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of FULL BODY, Portuguese masseuse Catalina Gil has to fend off the advances of Turkish ambassador Omar Turgenev ... while Australian Spitfire Lindsay Lett services chiseled Navy Seal Gus Hardon, much to her delight. Meanwhile, security guard Rod Katz catches all the action on hidden video cameras ...


INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - NIGHT
Catalina steps out of the spa.
Wraps a towel around her.

OMAR TURGENEV (45) watches.
Smooth, pretty boy,
the ‘Turkish Victor Mature.’

Adjusts his groin under a jet of water.
But why is he still wearing his tie?

CATALINA
You grab me like that,
you have to pay extra.
Pulling on me like
I was Turkish taffy.

OMAR
Come back in. Please.
I keep my hands to myself.

CATALINA
I think we should start your massage.
This is only a forty-five-minute session.
(sexy, teasing)
And I thought ambassadors
made out like bandits.

OMAR
(starts to get out)
We do.
It’s just that Madame Turgenev and I
are attending the Croatian
embassy ball tonight.
And if I’m late, it’s my head
on a wrought iron post.

He goes to the bar.
Grabs his drink.
Takes a sip. Smiles.

CATALINA
Come.
Let the angel of Lisbon
take you to new heights of pleasure.

Omar goes to the table.
As he passes her, SLAPS her rear.

CATALINA
Hey!

OMAR
Whoops.
Was that your ass?
(puts drink down)
I’m sorry.
I’m a bad boy.
Forgive me?

He hops on up.
Catalina turns her head.
Silently curses.

OMAR
Did you say something?

CATALINA
That’s fifty dollars
added to your tab.

OMAR
Worth every penny.
Smooth. Round. Hard.
You should be proud.
(lays down his head)
Ready for new heights, my Latin goddess.

She squirts oil on her hands.
Big smile. Eyes full of hatred.

CATALINA
Then let’s start climbing.

CLOSE ON --

Catalina’s purse.
Cell phone VIBRATING inside.

INT. BLUE MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Lindsey sits in the spa,
siping a large blue martini.

GUS HARDEN
steps into frame (27).

Chiseled, rock-hardbody. Gleaming.

And right now, with his
perfect bare ass to the CAMERA.

GUS
Reporting for duty -- miss.

LINDSEY
(laughs)
Holy shit.

GUS
(gets in water)
Holy shit what?

LINDSEY
You’re fucking gorgeous.
And you’re a SEAL.

GUS
And I'm trained.

LINDSEY
That’s my joke --
(beat)
So what on earth are you doing here?

GUS
Pulled out my back in Nepal.
(beat)
And my wife is pregnant.

LINDSEY
(reaches over, strokes his arm)
Dangerous mission?

GUS
Danger is my middle name.
(leans in to kiss)
I’m not supposed to do this --

LINDSEY
Definitely against the rules --

And they kiss.
Softly. Then hungrily.

ON A TELEVISION MONITOR
we see them make out.

Hot. Heavy.
Thrashing in the water.

INT. SECURITY WATCH ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Rod Katz watches.
Eyes glazed.
Hand moves down to his crotch.

ROD
Yeah, c’mon -- fuck her.
Give me the money shot --

A soft KNOCK-KNOCK on the door.

ROD
Who’s there?

REYNOLDS (O.C.)
It’s Reynolds.
Can I come in?

ROD
(to himself)
Okay, be cool, be cool.
(rubs his hands on his pants)
Yeah, sure -- hold on.

He goes to the door.
Unlocks, opens it.

Reynolds comes in.
Holds a manilla shipping envelope.

REYNOLDS
Hello, Katz.

ROD
Hi -- it’s Rod.

REYNOLDS
I know. Sit.

He does, perplexed.

ROD
So what’s up?

REYNOLDS
Here’s what’s up.
(whips out her badge)
I’m with a federal agency
organized crime task force,
and I’ve just busted you
selling your little home movies on Ebay.
(pulls out a DVD)
Brazen, I must admit.
But extraordinarily stupid.
You’re under arrest, asshole.

ROD
Shit.
No -- wait, I can explain --

REYNOLDS
Shut the fuck up and listen to me,
you fat, fucking greasy tub of shit --

He nods. Blinking.

ROD
Okay, okay --

REYNOLDS
You are going to help me
gather evidence that the perversion
I saw on this DVD is business as usual.
AND, that the girls engage
in sexual intercourse for money.
You cooperate, I’ll give you immunity.
Maybe.

ROD
Shit.

REYNOLDS
You in?
Or do I take you to
federal lockup right now --

ROD
I’m in. I’m in.
(beat)
Shit.

REYNOLDS
What’s wrong? Scared?

ROD
No.
(beat)
I -- shit my pants.

Doctor's Orders

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of FULL BODY, receptionist Reynolds Tan gives Summer, Lindsey, Ayanna and Catalina their next massage assignments, which include a Navy Seal, a black ops spook and the Turkish Ambassador, but when Ayanna starts her session with the Surgeon General, she's delighted to discover he's brought some 'samples' with him ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT
Reynolds gazes levelly at Summer,
Lindsey, Ayanna and Catalina.

Picks up a clipboard.
Taps it with her pen.

REYNOLDS
Alright, listen up. Ayanna.
You have Dr. Almond,
from the Surgeon General’s office.
In the Red Suite.

AYANNA
Guess it’s time for my physical.

REYNOLDS
Lindsey, you get
Lieutenant Gus Harden,
United States Navy.
He’s a SEAL.

LINDSEY
Trained?

REYNOLDS
Funny.
He’s in the Blue Suite.
(beat)
Catalina, your next client
is Omar Turgenoff,
the Turkish Ambassador.
In the Black.

CATALINA
I hope he’s a -- young Turk.

REYNOLDS
All of you with the jokes.
(scans the sheet)
Ah.
And Summer --
you get Dwight Blank.
In the Gold Suite.

SUMMER
At least he sounds normal.
What’s he do?

REYNOLDS
Classified.
He’s a spook.
Black OPS.
On a ‘need to rub’
basis only.

SUMMER
Great.
More national security.

REYNOLDS
Consider it an initiation.
Kind of like
a sorority hazing.

LINDSEY
Then what are we
doing standing around?
We’ve got work to do.
Men to please.
Towels to soil.

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face.
Hiding her fear.

INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Ayanna lounges in the spa.
Drinks champagne.

In steps DR. CHICK ALMOND (70’s).
A tall, gaunt, wizened
shadow of a man.

Large eyes, like a Keane child.
He eases grey, hairless,
ruined limbs carefully
into the water.

AYANNA
So have you found
the cure for AIDS yet,
Dr. Almond?

CHICK
Chick.
Call me Chick.

AYANNA
What, are you gay?

CHICK
It’s a name from
another era, I’m afraid.
Sort of like
‘Edna’ or ‘Slim.’
Can I get a bit
of that bubbly?
Water’s hot.
(winks)
And so are you.

AYANNA
Honey, if my skin
wasn’t so dark,
you’d see me blush.

CHICK
Honey, the last time
you blushed George Bush
was knee-deep in
Bolivian booger sugar.
(beat)
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha --
just fucking with you.
Get what you pay for, eh?

AYANNA
(pours drink, haughty)
Sometimes what you think
you’re buying turns out
to be a rental.
And the price is too high.

CHICK
Touche.
I see you’re not a strumpet.
Speaking of ‘high’ --

AYANNA
What the fuck’s a 'strumpet?'

CHICK
Ah, vocabulary.
A -- lady of the evening.

AYANNA
Hell, no.
I went to the Sorbonne.
Speak four languages.
AND am descended
from Ghanaian ROYALTY.
Don’t make me laugh.
(beat)
You said ‘speaking of high.’
You have something naughty
in your little black bag?

CHICK
I thought you’d never ask.

AYANNA
I would imagine the
Surgeon General’s office
has only the best.

CHICK
Sweetie.
You have no idea --

Funeral Parlor Games

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of FULL BODY, Croatian massage spa manager Etya Vlaovic gets a phone call from her mother Mavra informing her that she's going to assassinate her father. The problem is, Etya attended Mavra's funeral, and is now more than a little freaked out to find out she's 'back from the dead' ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - ETYA’S OFFICE - NIGHT
The empress of the damned
reviews the books.

Picks up a bottle of vodka.
Pours a shot.
Slugs it down.

ETYA
This place is cash cow.
One hundred fifty-thousand per week.
(pours shot, raises it)
Capitalism -- the God I pray to.

Knocks it back.
She dabs her mouth
with a sleeve.

Rubs her hands together.
Goes to the safe.

Starts working the dial.
The door CLICKS.

Opens.

Etya pulls out a
banded wad of hundreds.

Stuffs it in her pocket.
The phone RINGS.

ETYA
Ach.

She closes the safe.
THUNK.

Goes to the phone.
Picks up. Listens.

Her eyes bug.
Face turns white.

ETYA
Is not possible!
You are dead!
(listens)
Who is this?
Tell me!
(listens)
But we buried you -- we --
(listens)
I’m not afraid of you!
You can go fuck yourself!

Etya SLAMS down the phone.
Starts pacing. Freaked.

ETYA
Is not possible --
I kiss her goodbye --
close lid --
is like magic trick --

She goes to the desk.
GRABS the bottle.

Takes a big chug.
PUNCHES numbers on the phone.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. WASHINGTON MONUMENT - REFLECTING POOL - NIGHT
Yuri sits on a bench.

Squinting, trying to
read a newspaper
in the dim light
of a street lamp.

A COUPLE passes by.
Yuri lowers the paper.
Watches them.

YURI
To be young
and have horniness.

He pulls out a bag
from his coat pocket.

Fishes out a heel
of dark bread.

Breaks off a piece
with his teeth.
Chews.

A MOUSE jumps up on the bench.
Whiskers sniffing.

YURI
Hello, little fella.
You hungry?

He breaks off
a small piece.

The mouse rears up
on his hind legs.

Yuri gives it to him.
Rapid-fire CHEWING.
Gulp.

YURI
Is good, no?
Croatian peasant bread.
Oats and barley.
A few nuts.
Is good for long winter.
And bowel movement.

Yuri gives him another piece.
Smiles, childlike.

YURI
You are cute little fella.
I call you -- Oogie.

A RINGING in his pocket.
He fishes out his cell.

SNAPS it open.
Listens --

ETYA
Poppa, she’s ALIVE.
Mavra is ALIVE.
She called me --

YURI
Is not possible,
we BURIED her.

ETYA
I know that, but body
must be switched
at last moment.
How else do you explain?

YURI
I don’t know.
(scared)
What did she
say to you?

ETYA
She said she was
going to -- kill you.

YURI
But she always said that.
What make you think
it different now?

ETYA
I don’t know --
maybe she knows
you tried to POISON her?

A Little Pick-Me-Up

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Good Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of FULL BODY, newbie masseuse Summer Donovan has a meltdown after playing S/M games with the former Vice President, so gal pal Lindsay Lette gives her a 'miracle cure' ... in a tiny glass vial. Meanwhile, Croatian mob boss wife Mavra Vlaovic arranges a meet with Serbian agent Silke Derevko, who's shocked to find out she's returned from the dead ...


INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer massages Cammy. Slowly. Carefully.

He lies on his back.
Eyes closed. In heaven.

BISBY
Dominance and submission
is a lost art.
It’s about respect.
Power. Release. NOT pain.
S and M, whips and chains,
bondage and discipline
are for perverts.
This is about order.
A way for someone to have control
in a world that’s in disarray.
Or for someone who
has to follow rules, a protocol,
a way to let go of control --
and find peace.
(beat)
And the roles are fluid.
Where your desires
can flip mid-stream.
(beat)
Do you understand?

SUMMER
Yes, I do, it’s --
fascinating, sir.
Master --

BISBY
I’m glad you think so.

He leans up on his elbows.
Little boy look in his eyes.

BISBY (CONT’D)
(squeaky, high-pitched)
Please, Mommy, I know
I’ve been a bad boy --
but will you please
powder my pee-pee?

PUSH IN ON Summer.
Staring. Open-mouthed.

INT. RITZ CARLTON SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Mavra inspects her new digs. Lux deluxe.

She goes to the couch.
Opens a briefcase on the coffee table.

Pulls out a book.
Opens it, to reveal --

A CHROME HANDGUN. In pieces.
Assembly required. She smiles.

Fingers a number on her cell.
Walks out onto the terrace.

OUTSIDE
She squints in the bright sunshine.
Slides on her shades.

SPLIT SCREEN WITH:

EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE - DAY
SILKE DEREVKO (50) sits alone at a table.
A sleepy-eyed Serbian hipster
in stubble and leather.

Smokes a black cigarette.
His phone RINGS.
He SNATCHES it.

MAVRA
(into her cell)
Hello, Poppa Bear?

SILKE
RED?
Is that you?

MAVRA
Surprise, surprise.

SILKE
I thought you were -- gone.

MAVRA
The rumors of my demise were --
of my own doing.

SILKE
I see.
Business or pleasure?

MAVRA
Later for pleasure.
First, business.
I have job.

SILKE
Not on phone.
Where do we -- ?

MAVRA
Princess Stefanie von Taxi und Drang
is having costume ball
at Croatian embassy.

SILKE
That is social event of year.
You have invitation?

MAVRA
Dahling.
I never need invitation --

INT. EMPLOYEE’S LADIES ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer looks in the mirror.
Haunted. Shaking.

She turns on the faucet. Hard.
About to splash water on her face, when --

She sees a SEMEN STAIN on her top.
LOSES IT. Retching, heaving sobs.

Lindsey FLIES through the door.
Stops.

LINDSEY
Summer!

Lindsey grabs her.
Hugs tight.
Strokes her hair.

SUMMER
I don’t -- I can’t -- I --

LINDSEY
Shhhhhhh, it’s okay.
It’s okay -- let it out, let it out --

Summer does.
We hold on this.

She quiets down.
Pulls away.

SUMMER
Was it -- hard for you the first time?

LINDSEY
Does a bear think with his dick
in the woods?

SUMMER
(hint of a smile)
This place is -- freaky.

LINDSEY
What keeps me going is --
I tell myself this is -- temporary.

SUMMER
Temporary.

LINDSEY
(smiles, holds up a vial)
And then I have myself
a little pick-me-up.

SUMMER
Is that -- coke?

Lindsey nods.
Does a bump on the left nostril.

Then the right.
Offers it. Beaming.

LINDSEY
Try it, you’ll like it.

SUMMER
What about security?

LINDSEY
Are you kidding?
This place is more corrupt
than Capitol hill.
This is DC, baby --
the home of the high
and the land of the freeze.
(presses into Summer’s hand)
Come on, it’ll make you feel godlike.

Summer stares at the vial.

LINDSEY (CONT’D)
And it’ll make that
fucker’s face go away.

SUMMER
Promise?

She INHALES a bump.
And another.
Shakes her head.

SUMMER (CONT’D)
My throat, it --

LINDSEY
That’s the drip.
Swallow.

Summer’s eyes BURN with pleasure.
She smiles.

LINDSEY (CONT'D)
Welcome to the Pleasuredome.

SUMMER
Let’s party.

Let's Play Master & Servant

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of FULL BODY, in a stunning plot twist, we learn that receptionist Reynolds Tan is actually an undercover agent on a sting to take down The International spa. Meanwhile, Summer Donvan learns the ropes of bondage and discipline with her new client, former Vice President Cameron Bisby ... while, at that moment, manager Etya Vlaovic's mother Mavra arrives on a flight from Croatia, packing more than heat ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - RECEPTION AREA - NIGHT
The room is empty.
Reynolds speaks in to her headset.

REYNOLDS
Boss?
I’m going to take five for a smoke.
(listens)
Great, thanks.
(hangs up)
Communist cunt.

EXT. THE INTERNATIONAL - BACK ALLEY - AT THAT MOMENT
Reynolds lights up a super-long Capri.
Fingers a number on her cell phone.
Listens.

REYNOLDS
Reynolds Tan for Detective Nassour.
(listens)
Ali? It’s me, Reynolds.
(listens)
Watching her like a hawk.
Are you ready with the sting?
(listens)
Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, sir,
could you please hurry it the fuck up?
It’s been over a year now,
and I’m losing a layer of skin
from scrubbing off the sleaze every night.
(listens)
Hold on tight?
Hold on TIGHT?
What the fuck do you think I --
(listens)
Hello? Ali -- ?
(listens)
Goddamn fucking Cingular wireless.
Roaming my ass.

INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Nouvelle Vague’s sultry French-femme bossa nova
cover of Public Image’s THIS IS NOT A LOVE SONG over --

Cammy.

Decked out in a black mask,
studded harness and buckled bondage boots.

In power.
Or, ready for Halloween.

Summer trembles in a tiny
rubber French maid outfit.

Holds a feather duster like a wand.
Bites her lower lip.

BISBY
Breathtaking.
(meaningfully)
How do you feel?

SUMMER
Uh -- exposed?

BISBY
Master.
Exposed, master.

SUMMER
I’m sorry?

BISBY
You call me master.
When I ask you a question,
you answer ‘master.’
Understand?

SUMMER
(scared)
Yes -- master.

BISBY
Good.
Now get down on your knees.

SUMMER
But I thought I was going to --

BISBY
Do it! NOW.
On your KNEES.
Or you will be punished.

SUMMER
Y-yes, sir -- master.

She awkwardly gets down. Kneels.

BISBY
Now put the riding crop in your mouth.

Summer does.
Face turns red.

BISBY (CONT’D)
Good girl. Yes.
She’s humiliated. Lovely.
I believe I see a small tear.
(brightly)
Okay. Massage time.

EXT. DC INTERNATIONAL AIPORT - TARMAC - AT THAT MOMENT
The swirling, ominous Soviet-block new wave bleat of
Lene Lovich’s HOME roils a dark cloud over --

An airplane pulling up to the passenger chute.
AIR CROATIA.

LENE LOVICH (V.O.)
Home is where the heart is,
home is so remote,
home is just emotion,
sticking in my throat --

IN THE WAITING AREA
a line of Eastern-Europeans
silently file in. Exhausted.

ANGLE ON:
A WOMAN IN BLACK (late 40’s)
leads the pack.

Red lips curled with self-satisfaction.
Striking.

Despite the shades and hat,
we sense the Chanel-clad lioness
is a real stunner.

Meet MAVRA VLAOVIC.
Striding purposely.
On a mission.

Black vinyl thigh-high boots
stop short of her micro-mini.
CLACK-CLACKING in time --

And we realize the music
is on her Ipod.

ON THE MOVING SIDEWALK
she glides by. Imperious.

Men look. Double take.
There’s that smile again.
Damn. She knows it.

MAVRA
(sings along)
Let’s go to your place,
let’s go to your place --

A GREY SUIT
approaches her.
Offers his card.

She WHACKS it away, regal. Laughs.
He shrinks away.

Struck down.
Humiliated.

AT THE CUSTOMS WINDOW
A SURLY AGENT appraises her.

SURLY AGENT
You haff anything to declare?

MAVRA
I do not.
(lowers shades, eyes glinting)
Do you?

The agent’s eyes flicker. Wow.

SURLY AGENT
Welcome to America, Ms. Vlaovic.

MAVRA
Miss Vlaovic, dahling.

She pulls out a cigarette case.
Slides out a red Sherman.

SURLY AGENT
I’m sorry, but there’s no smoking.

Mavra lights up.
Eyes taunting.

MAVRA
Well, then yoo better point way
to my limousine before
I become enemy of state --

Deal Or No Deal

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of FULL BODY, newbie masseuse Summer Donovan is in for the ride of her life when she meets her next client, former US Vice President Cameron Bisby ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - CORRIDOR - DAY
The big band cocktail-swing of Paul Anka’s cover
of Nirvana’s SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT over --

Summer walks down
the Persian-carpet
flanked by two grim-looking
SECRET SERVICE AGENTS.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
(touches his earpiece)
Mountaineer.
Approaching the lair.

PUDGY AGENT
Don’t use the word ‘lair.’
It sounds -- jokey.

They arrive at a black door.
Summer goes for the knob.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
Please, Miss.
Allow us.
You don’t know what
could be on the other side
of that door.

PUDGY AGENT
Deal or no deal.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
Now look who’s being jokey.

SUMMER
Are you guys
really Secret Service?

INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - MOMENTS LATER
Summer sits on the massage table
while the men scan the room.

They hold I-pod looking
devices with earphones.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
The lair is clean.

PUDGY AGENT
You won’t let go
of the lair thing, huh?

He walks over the video monitor.
Takes out a small rubber cap.
Places it over the lens.

IN THE SECURITY ROOM
on the monitor,
The Presidential Seal.

With the word ‘Classified’
in block letters underneath.

ROD
Shit.

IN THE MASSAGE ROOM

TALL, OLDER AGENT
(into his lapel)
Mountaineer to Shadowboxer.
Okay to bring in Dirk Diggler.

PUDGY AGENT
Dirk Diggler?
Like from --

TALL, OLDER AGENT
Don’t look at me,
I didn’t pick it.

The door opens.
In walks --

CAMERON BISBY, (50’S)
former U.S. Vice President.

Small and squirly.
Almost too good-looking.

Frozen smile part
deer in the headlights,
part bland emptiness.

He raises his hands.

BISBY
At ease, gentlemen.
Thank you for the escort,
but you can leave now.
It’s starting to look like
a gang-bang in here.
(looks at Summer)
Got a top-secret meetin.’
Heh-heh.

TALL, OLDER AGENT
We can’t do that sir,
national security --

PUDGY AGENT
Yes sir, what if
someone tried to --

BISBY
Kill me?
Please, gimmee a break.
Who’d want to kill me?
I left the White House
fifteen years ago.
Took David Letterman
over a year
to stop crackin’
jokes about me.
Go on now.
Leave me be.
I need my R&R,
take a break from the --
uh -- stuff I gotta --

The Agents stifle a chuckle.
Bow. Leave.

BISBY (CONT’D)
(starts untying his tie)
So what’s your name,
little lady?

SUMMER
Summer -- sir.

BISBY
Summer breeze,
makes me feel fine.
Pretty name.
Parents were hippies?

SUMMER
No, sir.
Just -- imaginative.

BISBY
Enough of the
'sir' stuff, Summer.
Call me Cammy.
All my friends do.

SUMMER
'Cammy?'

BISBY
(touches her face)
Music to my ears --

A BULGE appears
in his pants.

He looks down.

BISBY
Well now, looks like
I’m running for re-erection --

Dead Weight

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of FULL BODY, newbie masseuse Summer Donovan discovers that her next client will be escorted by the Secret Service, which can only mean one thing. Meanwhile, spa owner Yuri Vlaovic meets with dance instructor Yitzi, who is helping him blackmail a US senator ...


INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - BREAK ROOM - DAY
Summer and Lindsey huddle
around the coffee maker
in the kitchenette area.

Summer looks spooked.
Lindsey, in shock.

SUMMER
Nice to meet you, too -- I --

LINDSEY
Are you okay?

SUMMER
I should be asking you --

LINDSEY
Yeah.

SUMMER
Are you -- okay?

LINDSEY
The crusty old fuck
croaked on my watch.
I’m not okay.
(beat)
I’ll be okay.
(beat)
It was fucking scary.

SUMMER
Yeah.

LINDSEY
Welcome to the
house of hand release.
How you like it so far?

SUMMER
The jury’s still out.
I haven’t had a client yet.
I had the --
instructional massage from --

LINDSEY
Ayanna?
The queen of pain?
(off Summer’s nod)
Stay away from her.
She’s a mess.
Descended from royalty,
stripped of her trust fund,
she’s a party girl
going straight to hell.
I wouldn’t trust her
with a used tampon.

AYANNA (O.C.)
He was so fucking huge,
it took FOUR men
to carry the stretcher. T
hey shoulda had one of those
signs that said ‘double wide.’

REVEAL Ayanna. Laughing.
Catalina trailing behind her.

CATALINA
You’re terrible.
He might die.

AYANNA
That’s why they call it
‘dead weight.’

LINDSEY
Well, at least he went out
with a smile on his face.

CATALINA
(to Summer)
You must be Summer.
Hi. I’m Catalina.

SUMMER
Like the dressing. Hi.

CATALINA
The dressing?
What dressing?

SUMMER
When I was a kid,
my favorite salad
dressing was ‘Catalina,’
a sickenly sweet French dressing --
it was a bright red that
doesn’t exist in nature.
I eventually outgrew it.

AYANNA
Well, look who’s
all bubbly and shit
with the childhood reminiscences.

ETYA (O.S.)
Girls.
There you are.

ETYA
marches into the room.
Imperious.

ETYA (CONT’D)
That vas quite the commotion.
I’m glad you are taking
little break and recovering.
Female bonding and sharing
of life experiences.
Ah, the sisterhood.
Kind of like ‘The View,’ no?
And Summer is new co-host.
(looks at watch)
Okay, break time over.
Go see Reynolds for
next appointments.
(to Summer)
Ms. Donovan, I need
to speak to you alone.

The other girls leave.
Etya’s eyes glint with lust.

SUMMER
Did I do something wrong?

ETYA
(walks over to her)
Of course not,
my little tikva.
I just wanted to prep you
for your first client.

SUMMER
P-prep me?

Etya puts her hands
on Summer’s shoulders.

ETYA
He will have his
own security with him --

SUMMER
His own security?

Etya leans closer.
A wolf ready to pounce.

ETYA
Ja.
The Secret Service.

SUMMER
The Secret Service?
But that’s for --

PUSH IN ON Summer.
Pulling away.
Realizing the implications.

EXT. DANCE STUDIO - AT THAT MOMENT
A run-down looking studio
on the ground floor in the
cheap seats side of town.

A large hand-painted sign reads
‘Yitzi’s Dancing Academy.
Let me take you to the stars.’

INT. YITZI’S STUDIO - CONTINUOUS
Xavier Cugat’s bizarre cha-cha-cha
cover of GOLDFINGER over --

A large dance floor.
Mirrors everywhere.
Flashing lights.

The obligatory disco ball.
Joint deserted.
Except for --

YURI
doing a wicked tango
with YITZI (50’s).

Former knockout.
Now knocked around a bit.

But still Eastern Europe’s
answer to Ginger Rogers.

She STOMPS her
cha-cha heels. TWIRLS --

And her left cone-missile
JABS Yuri in the shoulder.

YURI
Vatch it, doll-face.
You have license for that?

YITZI
License to carry.

YURI
License to kill
is more like it.

They tango across
the dance floor.

YURI (CONT’D)
We on for payoff?

YITZI
Is ready.
He said to be at
reflecting pool near
Vashington Monument at midnight.

YURI
You’re giving me monument in pants.
Why the cloak-and-dagger-stuff?
Can’t we just meet in bar over wodka?

YITZI
You’re fucking blackmailing him.
Vat do you expect?

YURI
Fucking crooked government official.
Can’t have drink with comrade,
not sure I trust him.

YITZI
I can think of one hundred thousand
reasons why you should trust him.
(beat)
And I took the pictures --

YURI
Don’t worry.
You’ll get your ten percent.

She reaches down and
GRABS Yuri by the balls.

YURI (CONT’D)
Ow! Hey!

YITZI
I know that.
And is now TWENTY percent.
(lets go, CLAPS loudly)
Okay!
Is time for Mambo!

Pecking Orders

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of FULL BODY, French/African 'head masseuse' Ayanna Prouxl shows newbie Summer Donovan the ropes of working at The International spa. Meanwhile, Australian spitfire services defense contractor 'Big Willie' Birmingham ... with deadly results.


INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - DAY
Ayanna holds up a LARGE BANANA.
Summer sits, cross-legged.

AYANNA
I thought this would be subtler
than the rubber penis.
And I’m hungry.

SUMMER
You don’t have to --
show me how to give -

AYANNA
A hand job?
So you’ve had experience?

SUMMER
Well, I -- I was a cheerleader.

AYANNA
Well, well.
So you’re an archetype.
Then I’m sure you can show me
a thing or two.

SUMMER
Oh, no -- I’ve only had one boyfriend.

AYANNA
Let me guess.
The captain of the football team.

SUMMER
No.
He was in the band.
He played that big drum?

AYANNA
Do you mean to say
that you are a virgin?

SUMMER
No.
Of course not.

AYANNA
Good.
This is no place for virgins.

She peels the banana.
Slowly. Seductively.

Takes a large bite.
Swallows luxuriously.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
You need to know the
pecking order around here.
I’m the senior girl.
Next in line
to be receptionist --
I was supposed to be next,
but that bitch
stabbed me in the back.

She wolfs down the rest.
An animal.
Licks her lips.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
If you need advice, sex tips,
anything, come to me.
All the girls do.
I will help you, protect you,
keep you from evil.
And don’t trust that cunt
Reynolds up front.
She’s a cheating, lying,
conniving, slant-eyed WHORE.
(SLAPS the table with the peel)
Understand?

SUMMER
(nods slowly)
Uh-huh.

PUSH IN ON Summer’s face.
Heart pounding.

INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
From behind, we see Lindsey
put on the strap-on harness.

LINDSEY
I can’t use this on you,
it’s against the rules --
but I suppose it’s alright
if I just wear it.

She SNAPS on the ‘equipment.’

LINDSEY (CONT’D)
Ha.
Now I’M well-hung.
Kinda like it, kinda
makes me feel powerful.

Lindsey rotates her hips.
We hear rubber SLAP the table.

LINDSEY (CONT’D)
Whooo!
Ride ‘em cowboy!
Yippie kai-yay, motherfucker!

Willie lifts his torso
up by his elbows.
Then his hands.
Tries to sit upright.

WILLIE
Goddammit.
I gotta see this, I --

His face turns red.
Struggles to lift his massive girth --

WILLIE (CONT’D)
Hmmph, ug, uh --

And he makes it.

LINDSEY
Alright pardna, git ready
for some ropin’ and ridin’!

Willie clutches his chest.
CRIES OUT.

WILLIE
Oh! Ow! Help!
Goddamit! Ah! Ah! Ah!

His face turns BRIGHT RED.

LINDSEY
Shit! No!
You are NOT going to fucking DIE!

She RUNS to the phone at the bar.
PUNCHES numbers.

ON A VIDEO MONITOR

LINDSEY (V.O.) (CONT'D)
(on the phone, into the camera)
Security! Rod! Etya!
Client down!
Call the paramedics!

Rod leans over.
Talks into a microphone.

ROD
Roger.
I’m calling ‘em.
Don’t touch him.
Don’t do anything.

He giggles.
Starts dialing the phone.

ROD (CONT'D)
(to himself)
This count as a snuff film?

LINDSEY
starts POUNDING on Willie’s chest.

The door FLIES OPEN.
Etya runs in --

ETYA
Out of way!
Stop doing that!
You’ll fucking kill him!

LINDSEY
But he’s already dying!

Etya pushes her out of the way.
Climbs on top of Willie.

Starts giving him mouth-to-mouth.
Pulls back, disgusted.

ETYA
American pig tastes like PORK!

Willie’s body starts RATTLING.

LINDSEY
Do something!
He’s gonna die!

The big man FLOPS like a fish.
Gurgles. Stops. Lights out.

LINDSEY (CONT'D)
Ohmigod.
Why is this HAPPENING?

ETYA
What you expect happen when
fat fucks get fucked-up
fantasies fulfilled?

A siren WAILS in the distance.

Pole Position

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. TG fuckin' F. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of FULL BODY, it' just another day at The International, DC's most exclusive spa, where right now Australian spitfire Lindsay Lett is servicing defense contractor William 'Big Willie' Birmingham. Meanwhile, French/African gazelle Ayanna Prouxl is teaching new girl Summer Donovan the fine art of erotic massage ...


INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - DAY
Lindsey lays out red towels.
Resplendent in an outre
little black cocktail number.

In the spa is
WILLIAM ‘BIG WILLIE’ BIRMINGHAM (65),
defense contractor.

Big gutted. Red-nosed.
Perspiring. Strange rug.

Everything that weapons
for bucks can buy.

He puffs a Cuban.
Sips champagne from a flute.
Grins.

BIG WILLIE
Y’all better get
a move on, lil’ lady.
Times a-wastin.’
I’m as randy as a sailor
at a Tijuana pony show.

LINDSEY
What’s a -- ‘pony show?’

BIG WILLIE
Thas’ where ya watch a horse
fuck a Mexican whore.
Gets yer juices goin.’

LINDSEY
(smiles, starts to undress)
You’re feeling awfully naughty today --

BIG WILLIE
You bet yore beautiful hide.
Jus’ sold me a passel a’ heat-seeking
stealth ground-to-air missiles to Uncle Sam.
Made out like Jeb Bush at a bikini car wash
for cancer kids.

Lindsey neatly folds her dress
on a hanger. Sits.
Starts to take off her shoes --

BIG WILLIE (CONT'D)
(eyeing her, throaty)
Leave the shoes on.
Leave ‘em on.

LINDSEY
But these are Jimmy Choos --
they’re very expensive.

BIG WILLIE
Fuck that.
I’ll buy ya a new pair.
They’re fuckin’ HOT.
Keep ‘em on.

Lindsey eyes him.
Sips her champagne.

Raises a six-inch platform.
Starts to step down into the spa.

LINDSEY
Here’s to five-hundred dollar
toilet seats --

She settles into the water.
Takes a glass. They clink.

BIG WILLIE
Five-hundred dollar crapper lids.
Thas’ fucking FUNNY.
(thinks)
I’ve never charged more
than four-hundred myself --

PUSH IN ON Lindsey’s face.
Her fake, frozen smile.

Eyes glassy.
Anywhere else but here.

INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer lies on her back.
A small, gold towel on her privates.
Ayanna works on her legs.

AYANNA
Slowly, not to rush,
you never want them
to think you are rushing --
(beat)
You have beautiful knees.
Sharp. Sleek.

SUMMER
It’s from rollerblading.
Gives you a nice cut.
Great range of motion cardio, too --

AYANNA
I see.
I must try this rollerblading.
I need -- range of motion.

She reaches the top of Summer’s thighs.

SUMMER
That -- tickles.

AYANNA
It is anticipation.
The man now thinks you are
going for the twig and berries.
(places hands on Summer’s abs)
But you surprise them,
and leapfrog over the tent.

SUMMER
'The tent?'

AYANNA
When the man’s cock is erect,
it pops up the towel,
makes a little tent.

She slowly massages Summer’s abdomen
in slow circles.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
This increases the anticipation,
as you start to circle the area --
before we get into pole position --

INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Big Willie lies on the table on his stomach.
Big, fat white ass in the air.
A beached sea mammal.

Grabs the table with pudgy fingers.
Wriggles his toes.

Lindsey kneads Willie’s
doughy ass-flesh.

He FARTS.

LINDSEY
EWWW!

She pulls away.
Holds her breath.
Makes a face.

WILLIE
Sorry ‘bout that.
Musta been the barbe-cued
baby back ribs --

LINDSEY
For breakfast?

WILLIE
Sticks ta yer ribs -- ha.

Lindsey goes to the bar.
Pours champagne.
Breathes deeply.

Grabs an air freshener.
Sprays the area.

WILLIE (CONT’D)
Why don’tcha go
open up my briefcase.
I brought us a sur-prize.

LINDSEY
(sarcastic)
Ooh, I love surprises.

She opens it.
Pulls out a STRAP-ON DILDO
and harness.

LINDSEY (CONT’D)
You want me to -- bugger you?

WILLIE
Hey, you said you were a feminist --

Getting Jizzy With It

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of FULL BODY, we meet Portuguese masseuse Catalina Gil, who discovers that one of the security guards at The International has been secretly videotaping her sessions. Meanwhile, manager Etya Vlaovic is pleasuring herself in her office while thinking of the new girl Summer Donovan ... while in the next room, Summer gets a tutorial from French/African goddess Ayanna Prouxl on the art of erotic massage ...


INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - DAY
A silky, olive-skinned gazelle
straightens the room.

Meet CATALINA GIL, (27)
eighth Portuguese wonder of the world.

Charcoal curls frame
a sexy, crooked nose.
Eyes glinting.

Wide slash of a smile.
Humming some secret song.

She bends over.
Picks up a towel.
Cute bum.

ON A VIDEO SCREEN
We see Catalina’s splendor.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
What I wouldn’t give
to toss her fuckin’ salad.
How much for a Roman helmet?

INT. SECURITY WATCH SUITE - CONTINUOUS
Sitting in a swivel chair in front of
a bank of video monitors is ROD KATZ (30’s).

A pasty, sweaty slug of a security guard.
Too-small uniform about to pop buttons.

He shoves in a mouthful
of flamin’ red hot Cheetos. Crunches.

Sticky bright red fingers rub his crotch.
Beady eyes flicker.

ROD
How about a Dirty Sanchez?

ON THE SCREEN
Catalina senses something.
Turns. Looks INTO THE CAMERA.

Gives it the finger.
Then slashes her throat with it.

CATALINA
Pervert!

She storms out.
SLAMS the door.

Rod bursts into scary laughter.
He reaches over.

Picks up a videotape.
Slides it in.

ON THE SCREEN
we see Catalina, smiling.
A CLIENT massages her breasts.

ROD (O.C.)
I’m gonna make a fuckin’ fortune --

INT. STAIRWELL - AT THAT MOMENT
Catalina walks down the stairs
to the first floor.

Talks on her cell.
Exasperated.

CATALINA
I’m sorry -- but I have to work
a bit later than I thought tonight --
(listens)
I told you this would happen sometimes --
(listens)
There’s a whole chicken in the fridge,
all you have to do is --
(listens)
Stop shouting at me!
We’re separating, so go get
your own kitchen and hire a cook!

She angrily CLICKS the phone shut.

PUSH IN ON Catalina.
Crossing herself.
A whispered prayer.

INT. ETYA’S OFFICE - AERIAL POV - AT THAT MOMENT
We see Etya. Alone.

A giant ‘space needle’
vibrator up her skirt.

Working it in slow circles.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

CLOSE ON
Etya’s face.
Eyes closed.
In her fantasy --

SUMMER
stands across from her.
Takes off her top.

ETYA
writhes with pleasure.
The BUZZING increases. Louder.

SUMMER
wriggles out of her skirt.
Naughty in girlish lingerie.

SUMMER
Gee whiz.
I’d do just about anything
to get this job.

ETYA’S
head falls back.
Moves in slow circles.
Softly moans.

ETYA
(in Croatian, English subtitles)
Come for Etya,
my little whippoorwill --

INT. GOLD MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer sits on the edge of the table.
Listening to --

AYANNA PROUXL (25),
delicious French-African souffle.

An ebony figurine of impossible beauty.
Faye Dunaway cheekbones.

Swan-like neck.
Legs for days.

And nights.

AYANNA
You have five minutes to straighten
up the room for the next client.
Wipe down the table.
Make sure you get all the jizz.
Put the towels in the hamper,
the next girl brings the fresh ones.
Put out fresh toiletries --
and that’s it, you’re done.
Any questions?

SUMMER
I can’t believe you said -- jizz.

AYANNA
It is perfect American word
for what it is.
Rank. Vile. Disgusting.
(beat)
Okay, let’s get jizzy wit it.

I want you to lie down on the table,
because I am going to show you
how massage is done.

Summer does.
Lies on her stomach.

SUMMER
(scared)
Are you -- gonna give me a --

AYANNA
(SMACKS her butt)
You better not wish for
what you might not want.
My tongue have superpowers.

Summer’s eyes widen.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
I’m teasing. Not at work.
It causes -- conflicts.

SUMMER
You don’t shit where you eat?

AYANNA
Another American phrase
I do not understand.
Who defecates where they dine?
It is ridiculous.
Enough talking.
We are here to work.
I am to show you rope.

Ayanna walks behind Summer’s head.
Gentle fingertips rub her temples.
Little circular motions.

AYANNA (CONT’D)
First we clear the head
of all the thoughts of the day.
The gentlemen who come here
are rich, successful,
under a lot of stress.

PUSH IN ON Ayanna’s face.
Appraising the fresh meat.

A Happy Ending

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of FULL BODY, elite 'masseuse' Lindsay Lett services The Speaker Of The House until he 'reaches liftoff.' Meanwhile, wannabe singer Summer Donovan has a job interview with Croatian lesbian manager Etya Vlaovic, but is a bit taken aback when she finds out that more than the masseuse job is open ...


INT. BLUE MASSAGE SUITE - DAY
Dookie’s about ready for lift-off.
So is his propeller beanie.

From behind, we see Lindsey
kneading his doughy flesh.

One hand works its magic.
Up and down.
Up and down.

The other, his chest.
Long, blonde hair brushes him.

Back and forth.
Back and forth.

Sensual.
Mechanical.

DOOKIE
God, yes.
Sis boom bah -- uhhhhh --
uh, that’s so good.

LINDSEY
Such a good boy, so good --

DOOKIE
Ahhhhhhh -- ahhhhhhh --

EXT. DC LOFT DISTRICT - AT THAT MOMENT
Summer pulls her Jeep up to
what looks like a loading dock.

Faded letters above on the brick
read INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING.

INT. JEEP - CONTINUOUS
She looks at the address
scrawled on a slip of paper.

SUMMER
This is the right address --

INT. BLUE MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Dookie reaches an ear-splitting CLIMAX.

DOOKIE
Sweet Mother Mary of
CHRIST FUCK ME JESUS!
ARRRRGGGHHHHH!

Lindsey deftly feints
to the left, as --

IN SLOW MOTION
Dookie’s LOAD flies across the room --
And hits the wall -- SPLAT.

DOOKIE (O.C.) (CONT'D)
Go, TEAM!
Two POINTS!

THE CONGRESSMAN
lies back.
Closes his eyes.

DOOKIE (CONT’D)
Goddamit.
I haven’t come like that
since I was pup.

LINDSEY
That’s why we’re the best,
Mr. Speaker Of The House.
Now hop in the shower.
I gotta clean up,
and YOU have an
appropriations bill to introduce.

DOOKIE
(eyes fly open)
Shit.
You had to remind me of that --

INT. RECEPTION AREA - AT THAT MOMENT
Chrome and glass outta Architectural Digest.
Tiki bar with lava lamps.

A BREATHLESS poster.
Strange plants.

Summer sits on an outrageous couch.
Soaks it all in.

Nearby, behind a desk,
sits REYNOLDS TAN, (24)
tightly-wrapped temptress
in blonde leather.

Amerasian lips curled in
a self-satisfied sneer.

Aware of her impact.
Works it.

She touches her headset.
Listens. Looks at Summer.

REYNOLDS
You can go in now, Ms. Donovan.
She’s ready for you.
(bitchy)
Smart suit.

SUMMER
(doesn’t get it)
Super.
Th-thanks.

CAMERA follows Summer walk
to a connecting door.

We see the grease stain
on her rear end.

Tissue on the back
of her knee.

INT. ETYA’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
The roiling, syncopated Croatian beat
of Lana’s breathy, siren song I RAZLOG over --

Summer. Standing in the doorway.
Coy. Expectant.

SUMMER
Hi, I’m --
(beat)
Summer.

ETYA
You certainly are.
Please, come in. Sit.
Make yourself at home.

Summer goes to the chair
opposite Etya’s desk.
Primly sits.

ETYA (CONT’D)
Would you like some vater,
a soft drink?

SUMMER
No, thanks.
I’m fine.

ETYA
So tell me why you wish
employment in establishment
such as this.

SUMMER
Well, I’m an artist, a, a --
singer, actually, and I’ve heard
that the schedule is flexible.

ETYA
Yes, it is.
And so are the girls.
(laughs)
I’m sorry.
I make joke.
Cannot resist.
I’m how you say,
a bit of a bon vivant.

Etya’s eyes devour Summer.
Licking their chops. Waiting.

SUMMER
Oh. And, well -- I’ve heard
the money is really good.

ETYA
It is, yes.
But you have to be villing to,
how you say, do certain things.
We offer more than just
spa and massage.

SUMMER
What kind of -- things?

ETYA
You seem like smart girl.
I’ll be blunt.
The gentlemen that come here e
xpect full release, a --
‘happy ending’ as you call it.

SUMMER
But that’s it, right?
We don’t have to --

ETYA
NO. No sex!
The girls are NOT
allowed to have oral,
anal or vaginal contact.
No intercourse, no blow job.
Anyone caught doing that
is terminated IMMEDIATELY.

SUMMER
Okay --

ETYA
Now, you can negotiate
‘extras,’ for tips.
You take top off, fifty bucks.
Squeeze boob, another fifty.
You do role play,
say man wants to be humiliated.
Wear pumps. Whatever.
Is extra money for you.
(meaningfully)
Smart girl can clean up.

Summer thinks it over.
Nods slowly.

ETYA (CONT’D)
You have any questions?

SUMMER
Yeah.
(beat)
When can I start?

From Croatia, With Love

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of FULL BODY, model Summer Donovan drives to her big job interview at The International, DC's most exclusive, upscale massage joint. Meanwhile, in The International's inner sanctum, owner/Croatian mobster Yuri Vlaovic hands over the reins to his lesbian daugher Etya with a stern warning not to 'sample the merchandise' ...


INT./EXT. SUMMER’S CAR - MOVING - DAY
The childlike whipped-trance femme-pop
of Groove Coverage’s GOD IS A GIRL
on the car stereo.

Summer shimmies in her seat.

SUMMER
(sings)
'God is a girl,
wherever you are,
do you believe it,
can you receive it -- '

Reaches over.
Pulls a greasy cheeseburger
out of a bag.

Takes a big bite.
Savors it.

SUMMER (CONT'D)
Ummmm --

Another, bigger bite.
But it’s too much.

A wedge of meat,
sauce and sloppy bun
PLOPS on her lap.

She looks --

SUMMER (CONT’D)
Oh, no!

She SWERVES the car
to the curb.
A car HONKS.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Stupid CUNT!

SUMMER
(out the window)
Georgetown WHORE!

Summer gingerly pulls
the food off her suede skirt.

FLIPS it out the window.
Surveys the damage.

SUMMER (CONT’D)
What am I going to do?

INT. THE INTERNATIONAL - FRONT OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
The liquid, bubbling dub beats
of Thievery Corporation’s
2001 SPLIFF ODYSSEY over --

Very uptown.
Tres Trump-gaudy.
Is that a real Picasso?

The door OPENS.
In walks --

YURI VLAOVIC (50’s),
a squat tree-trunk
of Croatian muscle.

Top of the organized crime
food chain.

Tries for cultured.
But still street.
Cobblestone.

YURI
And this is inner sanctum --

Following behind him
is his daughter,
ETYA (late 20’s).

Raven-tressed.
Skintight Gautier.

Lean. Lithe. Luscious.
And lesbian.

ETYA
Is nice.
Wery nice.

She walks over to a bank
of video monitors.

Watches a session in progress.
We see Lindsey start to
work on Dookie’s dookie.

YURI
You have security on call,
twenty-four-seven.
You have problem,
you call them.
No funny business.
I don’t want repeat
of thing in Zagreb.

ETYA
Hey.
The deal vent bad.
I’m supposed to walk away
empty-handed?

YURI
You cut off his fucking hand!
If this going to work,
you gotta play by rules.
After shit that went down
with last cooze,
I can’t trust nobody.

ETYA
You can trust me, Poppa.
I make you proud.
Come. Give me hug.

She raises her arms.
A flash of chrome
in her waistband.

YURI
You’re becoming too Americanized.
A Vlaovic DOES NOT HUG.
And gimmee your piece.
We got all kindsa government
people that come here,
and I don’t need
illegal weapons beef.

ETYA
But Momma’s gun is legal.
No?

YURI
You have my WIFE’S GUN?
What the fuck?
I thought she was
buried with that --

ETYA
Open-casket ceremony,
I was emotional, I, I --
couldn’t help myself --

BUZZ.

FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Yuri, Etya.
Your nine-o’clock is here.

YURI
Okay, okay -- give us a sec.
Hold onto mammary glands.
(to Etya)
Okay. Now.
You’re gonna interview girl.
And no funny business, got it?
No sniffin’ round merchandise.

ETYA
(big grin)
Of course.
I am professional, Poppa.
I use -- restraint.

YURI
That’s what I’m afraid of --

To Filibuster With Love

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

For those of you who read my Facebook page, you know that my horror/comedy THE INVISIBLE GIRL was just optioned -- and in all the excitement, I mentioned that I'd start serializing it here today. But after thinking about it, I changed my mind. I don't think the producer would appreciate me doing that, so instead, I'm going to post a story that's never been on the blog. FULL BODY was commissioned by a pair of Australian producers who had left Arclight Films to start their own shingle, and their first project was to be FULL BODY, the story of four women from around the world who work as massueses at Washington DC's most exclusive 'spa,' which serves DC's elite. I added a crime element -- the joint is run by the Croatian mob -- and voila, a cool new TV series was born. It was pitched as SEX AND THE CITY meets THE SOPRANOS, and got some attention (including the TV arm of Tarantino's company). Unfortunately, another network in Australia stole the main idea about the four massage girls, and the project died.

But at least I got a nifty writing sample out of it, which I'm quite proud of. Hope you Enjoy.

In Chapter 1 of FULL BODY, we meet model Summer Donovan, who's getting ready for her big job interview at The International, DC's most exclusive 'massage spa.' Meanwhile, Australian masseuse Lindsay Lett is servicing The Speaker Of The House, while trying to fend off his rather opulent advances.


INT. BATHROOM - MORNING
The silky, supple breathy-femme
trip-hop of Hooverphonic’s
CLUB MONTEPULCIANO over --

Clouds of steam.
Streaked mirror.
Fluffy white towels.

A FEMALE FIGURE
showers behind rippled glass.
Singing.

You’d sing too,
if you had a bod like that.

FEMALE FIGURE
'Fiona said something nice to me,
green velvet jacket sets you free --
Club Montepulciano is what you need --
(beat)
Blue Hawaii, Picadilly whore --
a cocktail is what I’m hoping for' --

IN THE SHOWER
she shaves her legs.
Razor glides up a curvy calf.

Reaches the corner,
back of the knee.
NICKS the skin.

FEMALE
Ow!

She turns.
We see the face of an angel.

Shower cap, a halo.
No make up.

Peachy skin glistening.
Meet SUMMER DONOVAN (24).

It was worth the wait.

THE CUT
on her leg bleeds.
A red rivulet trickles down.

SUMMER
Shit.

MOMENTS LATER
wrapped in a towel.
Sleek black hair down her back.

Presses a corner of tissue
on the wound.

It soaks up the blood.
Becomes a large red dot.

She WHIPS it off.
Places a new piece.

SUMMER
Work.
Come on --

INT. UPSCALE SPA - AT THE SAME TIME
The blissed-out, spooky,
spy-theme beats of Thunderball’s
TO SIR WITH DUB over --

A DIRTY BLONDE (25)
and a GREY-HAIRED GENT sit
in a large, lux Jacuzzi.

Water rushing.
Soothing sore muscles.

And other things.

Meet LINDSEY LETTE, (25).
Taught, toned, freckled Aussie spitfire.

5’2,” lithe, cat-like.
What some call a ‘spinner.’

But this time,
she’s doing the spinning.

LINDSEY
What do you say
we get you on the table,
Mr. big, bad Speaker of the House?

GREY-HAIRED GENT
Capital idea.
But please, call me Dookie.

LINDSEY
'Dookie?'

GREY-HAIRED GENT
Nickname.
From my prep school days.

LINDSEY
Good thing I wore
my plaid skirt today --

INT. SUMMER’S PLACE - BEDROOM
Summer sits at her vanity.
Lethal in a skintight suit.

Toned shiny legs
in shiny black pumps.

Fixing her face.
Not that it needs any fixing.

DING.

IN THE KITCHEN
Summer goes to the toaster.
Two slices of black.

Burned.

SUMMER
It’s an omen.

She opens the fridge.
Takes out a yogurt.

Spoons a mouthful.
Holds up another.

Lets it slide back
into the cup.

SUMMER
Yuck.

CAMERA PUSHES IN on the piece
of tissue behind her knee.

INT. UPSCALE SPA - BLUE MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
TO SIR WITH DUB continues over --

VERY fancy. Some kinda
opulent vision outta Versailles.

Love Shack, a’la Verscace.
Hot and cold running pleasure.

Dookie lies on his back.
A small blue towel
covers his private area.

Lindsey works on his thigh.
Smoothing oil.

DOOKIE
I have this little getaway
in the Cayman Islands --

LINDSEY
You know we’re not allowed
to date the guests -- Dookie.

DOOKIE
Guest?
I’m a payin’ customer --
and the customer is always right.

LINDSEY
Except when he’s wrong.

DOOKIE
Now listen here, lil’ lady,
stop actin’ like a lobbyist,
I’m prepared to give --

CLOSE ON LINDSEY’S FACE

LINDSEY
Dismissed.
Motion overruled.
And there is no debate
at The International, Congressman.

She holds up the red towel.

LINDSEY
Especially when it’s time
for your filibuster.
(notices)
Nice cock ring.
Tiffany’s?