Monday, July 18, 2016

What's Up, Doc?

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, scientist Bernard Bee tries his invisibility position on a rabbit in his lab ... and is delighted to discover it works. However, what he doesn't know is that it also worked on his daughter Bettie ...

Empty, except for -- Bernard.
Standing at a work table.

Working amid a mass of
test tubes and beakers.

He adjusts a tiny spigot.
Red liquid starts DRIPPING
into a glass vial.

He watches it. Nods.
Goes over to the rabbit cage.

Picks it up. Places it down
in front of him on the counter.

Are you ready to be part
of medical history, little fella?

The rabbit twitches its whiskers.

A name.
You have to have a name --
I shall call you Bugs,
after Bugs Bunny.
(strange voice)
What’s up, Doc?

He turns around.
Sees the vial is full.
Shuts off the spigot.

Brings it over to a test tube
half-filled with a yellow liquid.

Pours it in. The combination

And now a little glucose for taste --

Turns around, grabs another, smaller vial,
and squeezes a few drops into the formula.

Picks up an eyedropper and fills it up.
Then goes to the video camera. Turns it on.

(into the camera)
This is Bernard Bee, professor of science,
in the Venison University medical lab,
where I am about to conduct
an astounding experiment.
(dramatic pause)
I am about to make this animal DISAPPEAR,
right before your eyes.

He takes Bugs out of his cage.
Feeds him the formula.

(watches him lick it up)
That’s it Bugs, that’s a good boy.
Don’t worry, it’s not rabbit-forming -- HA.

Pats him on the head.
Puts him back in.
Closes the door.

It’s for your own good, my child.
I don’t want to lose you.
And, as he speaks, Bugs

Bernard clasps his hands with joy.
Then rubs them together. Smiling.

(into the camera)
And as you see, Bugs has disappeared
after ingesting the formula.
(sings, off-key)
One pill makes you larger,
and one pill makes you GONE --

He shuts off the camera.
Goes to the cage. Taps on it.

Now hold tight, my boy. Just relax.
We’re just going to find out
if there are any harmful side effects --

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