The Fat And The Furious

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, Bettie terrorizes Drake, one of the popular kids that bullied her, by taking control of his car as he's driving it and taking him on a one-way trip to hell ...


INT. DRAKE’S GARAGE - NIGHT
A vintage Mustang convertible
with the top down.

The passenger door OPENS.
We see an indentation in the seat.

It’s Bettie.
The door quietly closes, CLICK.

BETTIE (V.O.)
(whispers)
The fat and the FURIOUS --

She CHUCKLES, low, evil.

ACROSS THE STREET
Lonny hides behind a row of hedges
with his video camera.

IN THE GARAGE
A door in the rear OPENS.
Drake walks in. Closes it behind him.

Goes over the car. Gets in. SLAMS the door.
Puts the keys in the ignition. Starts it.

Thinks a moment.
Pulls the gun out from his waistband.
Leans over, puts it in glove compartment.

DRAKE
Be just my luck to get pulled over.

He hits the garage door opener
on the sun visor. It starts opening.
The car starts slowly rolling out of the garage.

ACROSS THE STREET
Lonny sees the Mustang. Starts videotaping.

ON THE DRIVEWAY
The car suddenly LURCHES forward.
Then violently STOPS.

IN THE CAR
Drake looks around. Spooked.

DRAKE
Who’s there?

BETTIE (V.O.)
Three GUESSES.
(beat)
Wanna go for a RIDE?

She STOMPS on the gas, and the car
ROARS out onto the street.

ON THE STREET
The Mustang’s wheels SQUEAL on the pavement
as it makes a HARD TURN onto the street.

IN THE CAR
Drake watches the wheel
turn all by itself. SCREAMS.

The phantom PUNCHES the gas again.
The car starts SPEEDING.

DRAKE
Who’s THERE? What are you DOING?

BETTIE (V.O.)
(low, feral)
Leave the driving to US.

DRAKE
B-bettie? Is that YOU?

BETTIE (V.O.)
It sure as hell ain’t DALE EARNHARDT.
(beat)
BWAHAHAHAHA --

ON THE STREET
Lonny videotapes the car
going down the street.

It veers to the side, and starts
SMASHING into a row of mailboxes --
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG.

IN THE CAR
Drake WRESTLES with the wheel,
trying to pull it back onto the road.
With each BANG he SCREAMS.

DRAKE
STOP, STOP -- you’re fucking up my CAR.

BETTIE (V.O.)
WHOOO, Talladega BITES --

ON THE STREET
The car suddenly
SWERVES AROUND IN A CIRCLE,
goes into a FISHTAIL, tires SCREECHING.

IN THE CAR
Drake gets THROWN into the
driver’s side door, BANG. SCREAMS.
The car SCREECHES to a halt.

BETTIE (V.O.)
Wow, that was FUN. Wanna go AGAIN?

DRAKE
Wh-what do you WANT?

BETTIE (V.O.)
Not sure yet.
Maybe a POUND OF FLESH?
Your HEAD ON A STICK?

DRAKE
I’m SORRY we teased you, Bettie.

BETTIE (V.O.)
An apology? How quaint. BUZZZZZ.
WRONG ANSWER. Not GOOD ENOUGH.

Drake gets WHACKED in the head.

DRAKE
OW.

BETTIE (V.O.)
Do you KNOW what it feels like
to get FUCKED with?
It feels like SHIT.
(growls)
So now I’m gonna fuck with YOU.

DRAKE
I SAID I was sorry, you fat BITCH.

BETTIE
WHAT did you call me?

She PUNCHES him in the stomach.

DRAKE
OW.

He LUNGES for the glove compartment.
Opens it. GRABS the gun.

BETTIE
Oooh. He’s gotta GUN.

LONNY
Hears the commotion.
RACES over to the car, still filming.

IN THE CAR
Drake and Bettie struggle
for control of the pistol.

It WAVES in the air,
FLYING AROUND WILDLY, back and forth.

DRAKE
STOP IT, GIMME THAT, LET GO.

The gun FIRES -- BANG.

BETTIE (V.O.)
Whoops.

Drake looks down at his shirt.
A red blossom starts forming on his chest.
Starts growing bigger.

DRAKE
You fucking SHOT ME.

BETTIE (V.O.)
(sings)
'Shot through the heart,
and you’re to blame,
you give bullies a BAD NAME.'
(beat)
BWAHAHAHAHA --

His head slumps over. Lights out.
Lonny appears in his window.

Shuts off the camera.
Eyes wide as saucers.

BETTIE (V.O.)
There’s my intrepid cameraman.
You get all that?

LONNY
(nods)
Is he -- dead?

BETTIE (V.O.)
As a doornail.
(beat)
I always wondered about that expression.
What THE FUCK is a ‘doornail?’

LONNY
(staring at the body)
I -- I -- don’t know.

The passenger side door OPENS.
We hear footsteps on the pavement.
Something SLAPS Lonny’s shoulder. Rubs it.

BETTIE (V.O.)
C’mon, tons of fun -- let’s go back
to your joint and chow down.
I’m fucking STARVING. GRRR.

Lonny reacts to Bettie’s touch.
Swallows down his fear, his panic.
Tries to regain his composure.

LONNY
Yeah, okay. Okay.

BETTIE (V.O.)
Don’t look so spooked, Lonny.
He was a piece of shit
that DESERVED to die.
(beat)
They ALL do --