Where's Mickey Spillane When You Need Him?

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of THE HEISTERS, we flash back to earlier in the story where Kelsey and the gang begin the heist ... and then flash forward to Kelsey paying a visit to the detective in charge of solving the case to get information on her dead boy toy's girlfriends. Can you say 'ballsy?'


EXT. STADIUM - NORTH GATE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Deserted at this hour.

A large, old black Mercedes sedan
idles at the curb.

The exhaust softly puffs out
a white cloud in the moonlight.

We see four DARK FIGURES
huddled inside.

KELSEY (V.O.)
There’s nothing like the feeling
you get at the start of a heist.
At first it’s like
butterflies in your stomach,
like you’re going onstage.
But once you get going,
it’s a pure adrenaline rush.
Better than drugs. Booze.
Gambling. Even sex --
(beat)
Well, almost.

INT. MERCEDES SEDAN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Ronan’s behind the wheel.

Kelsey rides shotgun in the passenger seat.
Chick and Ludo sit in the back.

They all wear stadium uniforms.
Everybody SNAPS on thin latex gloves.

KELSEY
(to Ronan)
Ready to rock and roll?

Kelsey’s wearing a long, blonde wig.
TONS of makeup that makes her look glitzy,
and a darker skin tone.

Tres exotic. NOT white.
With maximum cleavage
for maximum distraction.

RONAN
Solid, doll.
Let’s crack this sucker
like a walnut --
(smiles)
And let the heist begin.

Ronan’s skin is also
now darker with makeup.

A big, wide fake nose
and a close-cropped beard
complete his disguise.

CHICK
Where’s Mickey Spillane
when you need him?
(to Ludo)
It’s showtime, boychick.

LUDO
(to Kelsey and Ronan)
See you in the funny papers.

Chick and Ludo
slide on baseball caps.

Pull big scarves
up over their noses.

Open their doors.
Get out.

EXT. FOURTEENTH STREET - NIGHT
A leafy side street off Wilshire
on the north side of Santa Monica.

Safe, quiet, and not too expensive.
The beige seats.

Kelsey’s beat-up Toyota
pulls up to the curb.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I read in the newspaper
that homicide detective
Mart Volok was in charge of the case --
(beat)
I did a little research,
found the guy’s address --
and now it was time to play
‘spin the dick.’

The car door opens.
Kelsey gets out.

Walks up the sidewalk
to the front door.
She RINGS the bell.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I knew I had to play
my cards VERY carefully.
It’s usually not a good idea
to fuck with officers of the law.

The door OPENS.
A small HOUSEWIFE (40’s),
formerly cute, now a
faded wisp of suburban malaise,
stands there staring
at Kelsey with alarm.

Eyes blinking.
Mind whirring.

KELSEY
Sorry to bother you,
but I’d like to speak
to detective Volok.

MRS. VOLOK
I, uh -- I don’t think he’s --

KELSEY
Tell him it’s about
the Jackie Tempel case.

She stares at Kelsey balefully.
But it’s dinner-time.

Deer in the klieg lights.
She deflates. Sighs.

MRS. VOLOK
I’ll go get him.

The Real Housewife
of Santa Monica pads away.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I could smell the pot roast.
Talk about perfect timing.

MART VOLOK (45) appears in the door.
Tall and thin with a belly.

Casual in jeans and a sweatshirt.
But the eyes tell it all.

Razor-sharp.
Dark and menacing.
Appraising.

MART
You said you wanted
to talk about the Tempel case?
You have some information?

KELSEY
I might.

MART
Are you here to give yourself up?

KELSEY
You’re a funny guy.

MART
I have my moments.
(beat)
You’re the one
who found the body, right?

KELSEY
Maybe.

MART
And beat the shit
out of two of my officers?

KELSEY
Price of doing business.

MART
Come inside.