Ding Dong Bitch

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of THE HEISTERS, Kelsey gets the gang together to figure out a plan to find out who stole the money from the heist. Since her boy toy was murdered in such a grisly way, she assumes it's a crime of passion, so all they have to do is interview the stud's girlfriends. Problem is, he had more than a few of them ...


INT. RONAN’S HOTEL ROOM - DAY
Blinds are drawn.

A heavy haze of smoke
hangs in the air.

And the smell of sweat.
Desperation. Anger.

Everyone’s seated on the couch,
the floor, and all available chairs.

Becky puts a bowl of chips
and dip on the coffee table.

If you didn’t know better,
you’d think it was a party.

KASPER
(glares at Jefty)
But I still say
how do we know it
wasn’t one of us?

RONAN
If YOU ripped off
a million bucks,
would YOU still
be in town?

JEFTY
(eyes Kasper)
I dunno.
If someone was doing a cross,
they would stick around.
A cover, you know --

KASPER
Fuck you.
I didn’t do it --

CHICK
(looks at Ludo)
Well, that WOULD
be the perfect cover.
Steal the dough,
then stay holed up
like the rest of us --

LUDO
(eyes Chick)
And maybe they
had some HELP --

Pause.

CHICK
(eyes Ronan)
But then on the other hand,
some of us were alone
the whole time --

RONAN
HEY.
I fucking PUT THIS JOB TOGETHER.
You think I’m going to
double cross all of you?

LUDO
(shrugs)
Happens all the time --

KELSEY
ENOUGH, all of you.
I had the fucking money,
I was gone for
TEN FUCKING MINUTES,
and nobody knew where
I was except RONAN,
who I called right after
the shit went down.
There’s NO WAY he could of
have done it --
(sighs)
If we’re going to
get the money back,
we’re going to have
to work together,
and not BICKER like a
bunch of fucking
school girls, GOT IT?
(off their stares)
Alright.
It’s settled --
(beat)
Now, like I told you,
Jackie Tempel was stabbed
through the neck with a
samurai sword he had
hanging over the bed.
That makes it a
crime of passion,
so we’re looking for
some chick he was seeing --
and dumped.
Or cheated on.

LUDO
And how are we
going to find HER?

Kelsey pulls out
the kid’s cell.

Holds it up.
Smiles.

KELSEY
I grabbed his phone.
And looking through all
the names on it,
we’ve got ourselves a
nice little list of chickies.

CHICK
So what’s the plan, then?

KELSEY
We’ve got five names --
(beat)
I want each of you
to check out one of them.
Tonight.

JEFTY
You want us to play
ding-dong bitch?
LUDO
(suspicious)
What are you going to do?

KELSEY
I’m going to pay a little visit
to the homicide detective
in charge of the case.
See if there are any
names we don’t know about.

RONAN
But won’t that be -- dangerous?

KELSEY
Not a problem.
(beat)
Danger is my business.