Notorious Pig

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of THE HEISTERS, we flash back to Kelsey and the gang breaking into the stadium to hide in a storeroom until morning to rob the joint. Then we flash forward to Ludo conducting another one of Kelsey's surveys to try and find the chick that robbed them, but when he ventures into 'the hood,' he's in for a rude awakening ...


INT. FINANCE OFFICE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A large room with cubicles and work stations.

Drab. Functional. Cluttered.
Eerie in the dim light.

Kelsey leads them to a door
in the far corner.

She opens it.
They walk into --

INT. STORAGE ROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A windowless room with shelves
along the walls filled with boxes.

Ludo and Ronan put their bags down.
Look around.

CHICK
It’s not much,
but I call it ‘hiding place.’

Ludo FLIPS on the lights.
Lowers his scarf.
Chick lowers his.

RONAN
Damn, that’s bright.
Shut ‘em off.

KELSEY
Leave ‘em on.
It’ll keep us awake.

LUDO
So what are we going to do
to pass the time?
I’m too keyed up
to get any shut-eye.

CHICK
(pulls out a pack of cards)
Anybody up for a game of poker?

KELSEY
Good idea.
It’ll keep our wits sharp.

Ronan grabs a box.
Puts it in the middle of the floor.

RONAN
Here’s our table --

They all sit on the floor
around the box.

Chick starts shuffling
and cutting the cards.

CHICK
How about a little five-card draw?

LUDO
What about Texas Hold-em?

KELSEY
Fuck that yuppie shit.
I say seven-card STUD.

CHICK
I’m really starting to like this broad.
(starts dealing the cards)
Stud it is --

RONAN
So what are we gonna play for?

KELSEY
IOU’s work for me.
(looks at her cards)
After all, tomorrow
we’re gonna be rolling in it --

She turns her head.
Smiles at Ronan.

EXT. VENICE SIDE STREET - NIGHT
Far from the beach, where The Hood
changes block by block.

Small shitty houses with steel bars
on the windows and doors.

NOT a safe area.
Ugly rap music THUMPS in the distance.

A late-model SUV slowly
creeps down the street.

INT. SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
Ludo drives, looks at the numbers on the houses.

LUDO
Good thing I brought my fucking piece --
(sees the number)
Nice joint.
Maybe I can get a deal on some crack.

He pulls over to the curb.
Shuts off the engine. Sighs.

Grabs the clipboard off the seat.
Opens the door.

LUDO
Here goes nothing --

Ludo climbs out.
Shuts the door.

Presses his autolock, THWIP.
Starts going up the front walk.

Gets to the front door.
RINGS the buzzer.

INT. SHITTY RUN-DOWN HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Hip-hop on a boom box thumps over --

A real pig-sty.
Dishes piled up in the sink.

Fast food wrappers, pizza boxes
and beer cans litter the joint --

Which is now actually a
drug dealer’s base of operations.

Three HOT BLACK GANG-BANGER CHICKS (20’s)
sit at table in the kitchen
measuring rocks of crack
into small glass vials.

Another CHICK stands by the door
holding an Uzi submachine gun.

Narrows her eyes.
Looks at the girls.

HOT UZI CHICK
Anybody expectin’ company?

The girls look up.
Shake their heads ‘no.’

HOT UZI CHICK
I’ll go check it out.
One of you go out the back
and come around in front and back me up.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Okay --

She gets up.
Grabs a PISTOL WITH A SILENCER
off the counter.

Heads out the back.
Hot Uzi heads toward the front.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. SHITTY RUN-DOWN HOUSE - NIGHT
Ludo stands on the stoop. Waiting.
He RINGS the bell again.

Peers in the window.
Tiny bit of light spilling out
behind the drawn shades.

LUDO
Hello.
Anybody home?

Hot Uzi looks through the peephole.
Makes a face.

HOT UZI CHICK
(under her breath)
Shit.
Looks like a fuckin’ COP --

She goes to the intercom.
Presses the button.
Speaks into it.

HOT UZI CHICK
Who is it?

Ludo leans into the speaker.

LUDO
I’m from Global Media Group,
doing a survey.
I’m looking for Janice Michelle Jones.

Hot Uzi presses the gun
up against the door.

HOT UZI CHICK
She don’t live here no more.

LUDO
Are you sure?
This is her last known address --

HOT UZI CHICK
I said she don’t live here NO MORE.
So get the fuck OUTTA here --

LUDO
Please.
I just have a couple of questions.
It won’t take more than five minutes.

A gun saftey CLICK-CLICKS.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Stands at the corner of the house.
Gun aimed. Sneering.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Bitch tol’ you she don’t
live here no more,
so why don’t you get your
WHITE ASS the fuck OUTTA HERE.

Ludo’s eyes bug out.
He starts to panic.

LUDO
Hey.
I don’t want any trouble.
Put the gun down.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
You look like a cop to me.
Are you a fuckin’ COP?

LUDO
A COP?
No, no, no -- I’m just here
to take a survey, I swear.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
What part of GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE
don’t you GET, white boy, HUH?

LUDO
Okay, okay, okay, I’m leaving.

He WHIPS AROUND to go --
and the clipboard hits
the front of his jacket,
opening it to reveal the
Glock in his waistband.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
You ARE a fuckin’ COP!

She SHOOTS him.
THWIP, THWIP, THWIP.

Ludo looks down.
Sees three red blossoms
forming on his white shirt.

LUDO
You fucking -- shot --

Another shot HITS
him in the forehead. THWIP.

He pitches backwards.
Hits the cement with a THUD.

The front door FLIES open.
Hot Uzi looks out. Sees Ludo.

HOT UZI CHICK
What THE FUCK?

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
He had a GUN.
He’s a fucking COP.

HOT UZI CHICK
Shit, fuck, piss, COCKSUCKER.
Not ANOTHER ONE --

Tall goes to Ludo’s body.
Grabs him by the ankles.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Chill.
We’ll put him in the trunk
with the other one.
So we gots TWO to get rid of.
What’s the big deal?

HOT UZI CHICK
The BIG DEAL is your trigger-happy ass
gonna get us capped one o’ dese daze.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Shut your pie-ho and help me
move this fat guinea bitch.
He’s fucking HEAVY.

Hot Uzi comes out.
Puts her gun over her
shoulder by the strap.
Grabs Ludo’s wrists.

HOT UZI CHICK
Damn.
Motherfucker’s HEAVY.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
I TOL’ you --
(beat)
Notorious PIG.