Cash & Carry

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of THE HEISTERS, we flash forward back to the present, where Kelsey meets with fellow heisters Ludo and Chick to give them the bad news that the money from the robbery was stolen ...


EXT. THE INTERNATIONAL MOTEL - DAY
A piece of shit flea bag on the wrong end of Pico.

Flags from around the world
painted on white cinder block.

A real dump. You can practically
smell the urine on the page.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - MORNING
Kelsey walks down the hall.
Stops at a door.

Knock-knock-knocks softly.
Pauses. Then twice. Stops.

Then once again.
The door opens.
She goes in.

INT. HOTEL ROOM - MORNING
Shades drawn. Dark.
A smoky haze drifts in the room.

Pizza boxes and beer cans litter the joint.
Chick sits at a table playing solitaire.
Ludo motions Kelsey to come in.

LUDO
I don’t like it.
It’s too soon for us to see each other.
Something fucked up. I can smell it.

CHICK
(SNAPS down a card)
Don’t get your wife-beater in a twist.
Let’s hear what she has to say.
She wouldn’t have come over here
and risked everything
if it wasn’t important, right?

KELSEY
No shit.
(beat)
You gotta beer?

LUDO
We drank ‘em all.

CHICK
I got -- scotch?

Kelsey nods.
Chick gets up.

Goes to the mini-bar.
Pours two fingers in a glass.

Walks over to Kelsey.
Hands it to her.

KELSEY
Thanks.

She downs it.
Looks at the glass. Sighs.

LUDO
So?

Pause.

KELSEY
Somebody jacked the haul.

LUDO
What the FUCK?

KELSEY
I went out for --

LUDO
You went out?
You WENT OUT?
Where the FUCK did you GO?
Holy FUCKING SHIT.
What the fuck were you DOING?
How could you --

CHICK
(hisses)
HEY. Calm the FUCK down
and let her tell us
what the fuck HAPPENED.

LUDO
YOU calm the fuck down, ASSHOLE.
The money’s GONE.

Kelsey sighs.
Goes to the bar.

Freshens her drink.
Sips it.

CHICK
But maybe we can fucking GET IT BACK
if you let her TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.
(pulls out his gun)
So shut the FUCK up and stop acting like
your version of what you think
a tough guy is supposed to ACT like.

LUDO
What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean?

CHICK
It means you’re not acting like a PROFESSIONAL.
It’s hotheads like you that’ll get us killed,
in jail, broke -- or a combination of all three.

Tears form in Ludo’s eyes.
He takes a step back.

PLOPS onto the couch.
Head in his hands.

LUDO
If I don’t get the money --
the bank’ll take the RESTAURANT.

CHICK
(looks at Kelsey)
Tony Soprano he’s not.
(beat)
So tell us what happened.

KELSEY
I was holed up with this kid in bed
for two days since the job.
I went out for ten minutes
to get smokes and beer,
and I come back and he’s
harpooned to the bed
with a sword and the money’s gone.
(takes a sip)
That’s about it.

LUDO
SHIT.

CHICK
Fuck --
(beat)
Did the kid know about the job?

KELSEY
Nah.
Low-level runner for Jimmy Two-Fingers.
NOT a player --

LUDO
Maybe Garza and Jones --

CHICK
Are you fucking KIDDING ME?
They’re fucking DRIVERS.
Their combined IQ is the TEMPERATURE.
Smells like a spurned lover,
that kind of thing.
(thinks)
On the other hand, maybe -- Ronan?

KELSEY
No way.
He set up the job.
I’ve known him a long time.
I’ll vouch for him.

CHICK
(not sold)
If you say so --

LUDO
(stares at Chick)
Hey, wait a minute.
You went out tonight.
(to Kelsey)
Maybe HE did it --

CHICK
I was at the movies.
You really think an old man like me
is gonna HARPOON someone with a SWORD?
And look at me, how am I
gonna carry two giant duffle bags
that weigh a fucking ton?

LUDO
I dunno.
You had some HELP?

CHICK
You’re barking up the wrong tree,
you fucking GOOMBAH --
(realizes)
What about while I was gone, HUH?
You’ve got the motive,
that fucking RESTAURANT.
Maybe YOU did it --

LUDO
Fuck you, you fucking Jew-bastard FUCK --

KELSEY
STOP IT, BOTH of you --
(off their silence)
Ronan and I think it’s an outsider.
If it was one of us,
we would’ve just taken the haul --
we wouldn’t have killed the kid.
That would be stupid.
It would bring down too much heat.
(beat)
We think we should regroup
and find who did it, together.

LUDO
You mean out in the open?

CHICK
You gotta better idea?

LUDO
But the cop’s will be --

CHICK
Do you want to get the fucking
MONEY BACK or NOT?

Ludo sighs.
Glares at Chick.

KELSEY
Then it’s settled.
Pack up your shit and let’s get going.

CHICK
(stares at Ludo)
Where we going?

KELSEY
Venice Motor Hotel,
right at the beach.
Ronan’s got a suite.

LUDO
Great.
I’ll be sure to pack my bathing suit --