Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Where There's A Will, There's A Lawyer


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of LEGS, Episode 2, private eye Carrie Love gets a call from Israeli crime boss Nuri Hadar's daughter Marnie, who's hiding out in a cheap motel while she, Bernie and Meg search Nuri's joint for clues to his whereabouts. Meanwhile, Carrie's brothers Todd and Nate meet with their lawyers to try and screw her out of their father's inheritance ...


INT. NURI’S CONDO - LIVING ROOM - DAY
A pair of COPS IN UNIFORM
search the joint while
Bernie talks with Carrie and Megan.

BERNIE
(to Megan)
Nice to see you again -- officer.

MEGAN
(nods, curt)
Detective.

CARRIE
Children, play nice.
(to Bernie)
You have no right to be upset.
I came to you first.

MEGAN
You DID?

CARRIE
I WAS married to him
for ten years, Meg --

MEGAN
And I’m just the
‘on the rebound’ quickie?

BERNIE
You said it, not me --

Carrie’s cell phone RINGS.

CARRIE
Just chill, okay?
Both of you.
(answers it)
This is Carrie.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. THE STARLET MOTEL - MARNIE’S ROOM - DAY
Marnie sits at the
table by the window,
watching the traffic go by,
talking on her cell phone.

MARNIE
Detective Love, it’s me, Marnie.

CARRIE
Call me Carrie.
What’s up?

MARNIE
Carrie.
How did it go with my dad?

CARRIE
He and your brothers
assaulted and kidnapped me
and a police officer.
We escaped.
There’s now a warrant out
for their arrest.

MARNIE
Holy shit.
(beat)
I just found out
where they are.
My brother Yago called me --

CARRIE
You have ANOTHER brother?

MARNIE
He didn’t go into
the family business.
He called from my
dad’s safe house in Venice
after they got there.
They told him I was
causing a problem,
so he called to see
if I was okay.

CARRIE
What was he doing
at the safe house?

MARNIE
Daddy lets him stay there,
rent-free.
(beat)
It’s a long story.

CARRIE
Give me the address.

MARNIE
Hold on a sec.
Yago’s out getting
groceries for them.
I told him you wouldn’t
go over there until
after he got back and
was able to get out of there.

CARRIE
If you don’t give me
the address right now,
I’ll arrest you for
obstruction of justice.

MARNIE
But what about Yago?

CARRIE
Call him and tell him
to go somewhere else.
Maybe come over
and hang with you.

MARNIE
Oh.
Why didn’t I think of that --

CARRIE
I’m gonna ask one more time.
The address?

MARNIE
One-five-two-two
Ocean Front Walk.
It’s a big, old house
right on the sand.
You’ll call me afterward
and let know what happens?

CARRIE
You can count on it.
(beat)
We might need someone
to identify the bodies.

INT. LAW OFFICES - CONFERENCE ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
A burnished, glossy, airbrushed joint
where Glenn Close would feel right at home.

Todd and Nate sit in giant chairs
on one side of the table with their ATTORNEYS (50’s),
a pair of stone-faced, smooth-looking hawks.

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY, a big,
jovial-looking fellow sits on the other side.

TODD
Where the hell is she?
I told her the meeting was at one.

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
When did you tell her?

TODD
This morning.

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
So she said she’d be here?

Pause.

TODD
I sent her an email.

NATE
I told you to call her.

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
You sent an email the same day
as the meeting?
Didn’t it occur to you
that she might be busy?

TODD
Oh, I’m sure she’s busy --

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
Your mother told me
she’s a private detective.
I would imagine that sometimes
involves long hours on a stakeout?

TODD
Maybe. I guess.

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
You guess?
From what I gather,
you don’t have a very close relationship,
possibly even a hostile one.
It would seem to me that you
avoided informing her of the meeting
until the last minute
for your own personal gain.

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
What’s that supposed to mean?

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
Her not showing up makes her
look bad in your eyes,
gives you more ammunition
for making your case --
that’s she’s immature, irresponsible --
when in fact, she’s a hard-working woman
attending to her business.

TODD
That’s a good one.
She wouldn’t know the
meaning of hard work if it bit her on --

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
Todd.

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
That’s right.
How could I forget.
You mother tells me you’re a --
(looks at his notes, smiles)
‘Wedding videographer.’
I’m sure that’s even harder work t
han chasing dangerous criminals.

TODD
HEY.

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
Todd. Calm down.

TODD
But he --

HAWK-NOSED ATTORNEY
(to Carrie’s attorney)
We’ll reschedule the meeting,
without prejudice.

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
(stands)
Have your office do it through mine.
(smiles)
And Nate?

NATE
Yeah?

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
Can I give you a little unsolicited advice?

NATE
What’s that?

CARRIE’S ATTORNEY
You might want to consider the possibility
that you’re siding with the wrong sibling.
Do you really think you can deny
what’s due to your older sister?
(nods)
Gentlemen.

And he leaves.

NATE
Wow.

TODD
What do you mean, wow?

NATE
Maybe he’s right.
I mean, dad did change his mind
about leaving her something.
He just couldn’t do anything about it
because of the irrevocable trust.
(off Todd’s look)
But if he intentionally destroyed
the original signed copy of the will --

Their attorneys exchange glances.

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