Say Hello To My Little Friend

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of LEGS, Episode 2, the plot thickens when private eye Carrie Love and equestrienne Megan Paul try to escape from the clutches of Israeli crime boss Nuri Hadar ... while Nuri tangles with his bitchy trophy girlfriend in the next room. Meanwhile, homicide dick Bernie Keko arrives on the scene to lend a helping hand ...


INT. NURI’S CONDO - GUEST BEDROOM - CLOSET - DAY
Carrie and Meg sit on the floor
of the closet, bound and gagged,
facing away from each other.

Carrie chews at the stocking
across her mouth.

It RIPS apart.
She SPITS it out.

CARRIE
Thank fucking god.

MEGAN
(mumbles through the gag)
Mhow yuh duh dat?

CARRIE
I broke a tooth
a couple days ago.
My being too cheap to
go to the dentist
just saved our asses.
(works her wrists)
Now if I can just
get this off my wrists -
(keeps trying, then)
I’ve got an idea.

MEGAN
Greah.

CARRIE
On the count of three,
let’s stand up.

MEGAN
Cahn duh ih.

CARRIE
Yes, you can.
Press your back against mine,
then slowly stand up.
C’mon. One. Two. Three --

And they slowly
start rising up.

EXT. SPEEDWAY STREET - DAY
A one-way street that runs north
behind the beachfront properties.

Bernie’s unmarked Crown Vic
cruises slowly south,
going the other way.

An OLD, HOMELESS HIPPIE cruises by
on a bicycle festooned with
dozens of bags of crap tied to it.

OLD, HOMELESS HIPPIE
You’re going the wrong way, asshole.

BERNIE
(yells out the window)
I’m a fucking COP, asshole.

EXT. VOYAGE STREET - CONTINUOUS
We see Carrie’s car,
parked near the sand.

Bernie’s car pulls up behind it.
He gets out.
Looks around at the opulence.

BERNIE
I’m in the wrong business.

INT. NURI’S CONDO - GUEST BEDROOM - CLOSET - DAY
Carrie and Meg are now standing,
leaning against the wall,
tied together at the waist.

Carrie’s arms are raised.
She’s rubbing her wrists
on a nail sticking out of the ceiling.

MEGAN
Huhree.
Theh mih cuh bah.

CARRIE
I’m doing the best I can.
(keeps sawing)
I don’t know what’s scarier,
being held hostage,
or understanding what you’re saying --

EXT. NURI’S CONDO - BALCONY - AT THAT MOMENT
Nuri lies on a lounge chair,
smoking a cigar,
looking out at the ocean.

Zivah sits on his lap.

ZIVAH
I’m cold.
I want to go back inside.

NURI
But I need comforting.
My little baklava has gone astray.

ZIVAH
'Gone astray?'
You fucking scared her off.

He SLAPS her on the cheek.
SHOVES her off him.
Stands up.

NURI
How DARE you speak to me
like that.

ZIVAH
How dare you fucking HIT me,
you crusty, old FUCK.

Nuri pulls out a
GUN WITH A SILENCER.

SHOOTS her.
THWIP.

NURI
Say hello to my little fren.

Tal and Leron come out
onto the balcony.

LERON
Everything okay, pop?
(sees the body)
Aw, jeez.
That’s the third one this year.

NURI
Women.
Can’t live with them,
can’t shoot ‘em.
(beat)
You get ahold of Marnie yet?

TAL
(shakes his head)
Keep getting voice mail.

LERON
I couldn’t get ahold of Itzak.
His wife says he’s out of town
at Holocaust reenactment.

NURI
'Holocaust reenactment?'
(gets up)
All this tsuris
has made me hungry.
Do we have any more of
Rachel’s perogis?

LERON
I think so.
(gesture at the body)
But what about --

NURI
We take care of later.
Come. We nosh.

INT. NURI’S CONDO - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Nuri leads Tal and Leron
toward the kitchen.

TAL
What are we gonna do
about private dick and cop?

NURI
We keep them on ice
until we talk to Marnie.

LERON
Nice.
Use them as bargaining chip.

NURI
Exactly.
(smiles)
Until we cash them in --