Like Fifteen-Year-Old Labia

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of Episode 2 of LEGS, we meet Hollywood producer Jackie Flowers, who is confronted by a pair of Israeli mobsters who want him to cast their sister in his latest movie. Meanwhile, budding starlet Marnie Hadar finds out from a friend that her brothers beat the shit of out Jackie ...


EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
West of the strip.
The home of the one-percent.

A glitzy array of lux mansions
hidden behind walls and hedges fly by.

INT. BENTLEY SEDAN - MOVING - NIGHT
All soft leather, polished wood and brushed silver.

Behind the wheel is JACKIE FLOWERS (60’s),
old-school movie producer.

Tall and rangy, with craggy good looks.
Right now he’s driving,
talking on his cell and smoking a joint.

JACKIE
Harrison, it’s Jackie.
You read the script yet?
(listens)
Well, get on the stick.
It’s not like the offers
are just rolling in, you know --
(listens)
Okay, okay.
Keep your pants on.
Call me after you’ve read it.
(ends the call)
Air Force Two.
Oy vey’s mir.

EXT. JACKIE’S JOINT - FRONT GATE - NIGHT
The Bentley pulls up to a large, ornate gate
that starts slowly opening.
The car glides through.

EXT. JACKIE’S JOINT - NIGHT
A giant faux-Tudor monstrosity.
The Bentley heads down the long drive
toward a four-car garage.

INT. JACKIE’S JOINT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
A culinary orgy of steel, glass and chrome.
The door to the garage opens.

Jackie walks in,
talking on his cell.

JACKIE
I told you, Alan,
I don’t wanna make
a fucking PIMP movie.
Stop asking me.
(listens)
Later.
(hangs up)
Much.
(sighs)
Fucking hack.

He goes to the fridge.
Gets a bottle of beer.
Opens it.

Takes a swig.
Walks into the next room.

INT. JACKIE’S JOINT - STUDY - NIGHT
Dimly lit. A real power-office.
Bookshelves filled with books, music, movies --
and a ton of awards.

The door opens.
Jackie comes in.
FLICKS ON the lights.

Sitting behind his desk is a
GIANT HULKING BRUISER (30’s).

GIANT HULKING BRUISER
How was dinner?
I hear steak at Palms is tender
like fifteen-year-old labia.

Meet LERON HADAR,
two-hundred-fifty pounds
of Israeli muscle.

Slick in Armani.
Slicked-back hair.
Real slick.

JACKIE
Who the hell are YOU?

Standing to the side with his
hands behind his back is another THUG (30’s),
small and wiry, but somehow
even more menancing-looking.

Gitanes filterless dangling on his lip.
But hey, somebody should tell him
the Versace silk shirt
needs to go out with the Eurotrash.

SMALLER THUG
Sit down.
We’ll ask the questions.

Meet TAL HADAR, Leron’s brother.
If you did a Google image search
for 'Napoleonic Complex,'
you’d find his picture.

JACKIE
I will NOT sit down.
I DEMAND to know what you shit-heads
are doing in my house.

Tal pulls a baseball bat
from behind his back.

SWINGS IT at a lamp,
SMASHING it -- BANG.
Smiles, gold teeth flashing.

TAL
(softly)
If you don’t sit down,
your kneecaps are next on deck.

Jackie sits in a leather chair
opposite the desk. Glowering.

JACKIE
What the fuck do you want?

LERON
You had dinner tonight
with young lady.

JACKIE
Yeah, so what.
What’s it to you?

LERON
You two discussed movie
you’re about to make,
and role she would like to play.

JACKIE
How do you know about that?

LERON
We are her brothers.

JACKIE
So?

LERON
We are here to strongly suggest
you give her part.

JACKIE
Look, here’s the deal.
I met her at a party,
and I had dinner with her
just to be nice.
The role she wants is the lead,
but she’s too green.
She doesn’t have any credits.
The lead has to be a name.
If I cast her,
the investors will pull out.
(off their looks)
The best I can do
is give her a day player role.
She’ll get one line,
and she’ll be onscreen.
And it’ll get her into the union.
How does that sound?

Tal SWINGS the bat again.
SMASHES a flat-screen on the wall.

JACKIE
HEY. That’s BRAND-NEW.

LERON
This is your last chance.
Cast the girl in the lead,
or you’ll be eating through
straw at Cedars.

JACKIE
You can go fuck yourself.

LERON
(starts swinging the bat)
Hey, batter-batter -- SWING.

He WHACKS Jackie in the stomach. OOF.
Then takes out a knee with a CRUNCH.
Then the other. CRACK.

TAL
Three strikes and you’re OUT.

EXT. WILSHIRE BOULEVARD CANYON - NIGHT
A BLACK MERCEDES COUPE whizzes through
light traffic headed west toward the beach.
Then stops at a light.

INT. MERCEDES - NIGHT
Behind the wheel is MARNIE HADAR (20’s),
budding starlet deluxe.

Two scoops of vanilla,
brought to you by the letters D&G.

Tousled mane of strawberry blonde.
Easy on the eyes.

She grips her smart phone
in her glitter-nailed fist.
Speed-dials a number. Listens.

MARNIE
Amber, it’s me. Pick up.

AMBER (O.C.)
(electronic)
Hey, I was just gonna call you.
You had dinner with that
producer tonight, right?
Jackie Flowers?

MARNIE
Yeah. It went GREAT.
I got the audition.
I’m so excited I could plotz.

AMBER (O.C.)
I just saw on TMZ that somebody
beat the shit out of him.
He’s in a coma.

MARNIE
WHAT? But I just SAW him --
(beat)
Oh, shit -- what about my audition?

AMBER (O.C.)
You think maybe your father
had something to do with it?

The light changes to green.

MARNIE
What do you mean?

AMBER (O.C.)
You know, like in The Godfather.
The horse’s head in the bed --

MARNIE
(whispers)
Oh, no.

Her eyes bug out.
A car behind Marnie HONKS.

AMBER (O.C.)
Marnie? You there?