Let's Blow This Kibbutz

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of LEGS, Episode 2, private eye Carrie Love and equestrienne patrolwoman Megan Paul escape the evil clutches of Israeli mob boss Nuri Hadar, just as homicide dick Bernie Keko arrives on the scene. Meanwhile, Carrie's squeeze, porn star Laura Lang arrives at the Ritz Carlton to stir up a little trouble ...


INT. NURI’S CONDO - GUEST BEDROOM CLOSET - DAY
Carrie’s gotten her hands free.
She starts untying Megan.

MEGAN
Thank fucking god.
I was starting to feel
like a pot roast.

CARRIE
Okay --

MEGAN
You know how they’re
tied up with string?

CARRIE
You’re confusing me with
someone who knows how to cook.

MEGAN
How can I forget.
'Miss Take-Out.'

She finishes.
Meg rubs her wrists.

CARRIE
C’mon.
Let’s blow this kibbutz.

They open the closet door.
Walk into the room.

Look around.
See two windows.

Carrie goes to the one
facing the street.

CARRIE
There’s a telephone pole.
Bit of a jump,
but I think we can make it.

Meg goes to the other window.
Looks out.

MEGAN
We could jump onto
the roof next door.
The buildings are
really close together.

CARRIE
(comes over, looks)
Much quicker than
climbing down a pole.

Carrie tests the window.
Opens it.

Looks down.
Then at Meg.

CARRIE
Mamma warned me
to stay off the pole.

IN THE ALLEY
We see Carrie FLY
across and LAND
on the next building.

ON THE ROOF
Carrie looks at the windows
of Nuri’s building to
make sure she wasn’t seen.

Then motions to Meg to go.

IN THE ROOM
Meg RACES toward the window,
steps on the ledge, and --

IN THE ALLEY
FLIES across onto the roof
of the next building, SLAP.

EXT. SPEEDWAY - AT THAT MOMENT
Bernie stands at the entrance
to Nuri’s building,
reading the names on the buzzers.

Carrie and Megan walk up to him.

CARRIE
Bernie.

BERNIE
(turns, looks)
You’re okay.

CARRIE
Bastards held us hostage.

MEGAN
But we escaped.

BERNIE
(pulls out his gun)
Sounds like I came
just in time.

MEGAN
No, don’t.
There’s at least
three of them up there.
Let’s go back to your car,
call for back-up.

INT. NURI’S CONDO - CORRIDOR - DAY
Tal unlocks the door
to the guest room.
Looks inside.

Sees the open closet,
then the window.

TAL
God-DAMMIT.
They ESCAPED.

INT. NURI’S CONDO - KITCHEN - DAY
Nuri and Leron sit
at the table, eating.

Tal RUNS into the room,
wild-eyed.

TAL
Bitches escaped out WINDOW.

NURI
Shit.

LERON
Fuck.

TAL
What do we do?
They gonna call cops.

NURI
We go to safe house.

TAL
Acch.
I hate Venice.

LERON
Is not so bad.
Builds character.
See how other half lives.
Camus once said --

NURI
Enough kibitzing.
I’ll get the car warmed up.
You two go grab Zivah.
Put in trunk.

EXT. RITZ CARLTON HOTEL - DAY
A giant stone edifice to wealth and power,
right on the marina.

A cluster of Beamers, Benzes and Bentleys
are parked in front awaiting
their glitzy owners.

A pea-green piece-of-shit
Dodge Dart Swinger
pulls up to the entrance.

EXT. RITZ CARLTON HOTEL - ENTRANCE - DAY
Laura gets out of the Dodge.

She’s garishly made-up, wearing
a more-than-daring black cocktail dress,
towering in six-inch bondage heels.

She hands her keys
to the OFFICIOUS VALET (20’s),
who looks at her wide-eyed
as he hands her a ticket.

LAURA
Be sure not to scratch it, love.
(beat)
Ah, so you’re a fan.
If I had a dollar
for every time
you jerked off
to one of my movies,
I could afford
to stay here.

A RICH COUPLE (40’s)
waiting for their car
stare at her.

Officious Valet angrily
pulls out a walkie talkie.

Angrily starts mumbling into it --