The Home Of The Homeless

Happy X, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of GUN-WILD, Robbery Homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls hear gunshots on the Venice Beach boardwalk, and run toward the location they came from ... which is Rod and Cam's RV, where in the aftermath of killing Hondo and Net, they take an Asian art vendor hostage and start making their getaway ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH BOARDWALK - DAY
Bobby and Taya eat slices of pizza.
Bobby’s got his folded in half lengthwise.
Taya eats hers off a paper plate.

They walk by a grizzled group of HIPPIES
playing bad music for a sidewalk cafe.

The patrons could give a shit.
The hippies are oblivious,
living their Grateful Dead dreams.

BOBBY
That’s what I like about Venice.
Fucking time warp.
(points)
Check out Abbie Hoffman over there.

TAYA
(looks, frowns)
I can smell him from here.

BOBBY
Welcome to ‘The home of the homeless.’

TAYA
(chuckles)
You’re terrible.

They continue walking.
Pass a group of HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS.

BOBBY
Bastard was right.
They DO all look alike.
(beat)
Jailbait HOOKERS.

A BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER (30)
runs up to them.

BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER
Officers, officers!
Did you hear the gunshots?

BOBBY
GUNSHOTS? Where?

TAYA
How did you know we were --

BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER
(points)
In the parking lot.
Over that way --
(to Taya)
Your shoes. Dead giveaway.

BOBBY
Thanks.
(to Taya)
COME ON.

They pull out their guns.
Start RUNNING.

TAYA
I’m getting fucking SNEAKERS.

INT. WINNEBAGO - AT THAT MOMENT
Cam and Rod stand near the door. Guns drawn.
Listening to the POUNDING on the door.

ASIAN MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Hey! Are you alright in there?

ROD
Go get the door.
Tell him the engine backfired.

CAM
I got an idea.

She pulls off her T-shirt.
Big grin.

ROD
You’re a genius.

Cam goes to the door. OPENS IT.

OUTSIDE THE WINNEBAGO
Stands an ASIAN ART VENDOR (30’s).
Small, squirrely. Glasses.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(sees Cam, stares)
Oh. Hello.

CAM
(brightly)
Hey, there. What’s up?

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(eyes wide)
I heard -- gunshots.
Are you -- okay?

CAM
Gunshots?
Those weren’t gunshots.
The engine backfired.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
No -- I heard gunshots.
(staring)
I called -- 911.

Rod appears in the doorway.
With a sawed-off shotgun.

ROD
Get in the fucking BUS, NOW.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(scared, confused, turned on)
But I don’t -- understand.

Cam reaches over.
GRABS his arm.
YANKS him inside.

CAM
Sorry -- no tickie.

INSIDE THE WINNEBAGO
Cam holds her gun against Asian’s head.

CAM (CONT'D)
(points to the dining nook)
Over there, SIT.

Asian does. Scared shitless.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Please, don’t hurt me.
I was only trying to HELP.

CAM
Shut the FUCK up.
(to Rod)
We gotta get the fuck out of here, NOW.

ROD
What are we gonna do about HIM?

CAM
We’ll figure that out later.
C’MON, we gotta get OUTTA HERE.

Rod DASHES OVER to the driver’s seat.
GUNS the engine.

CAM
Go slow.
We’re just a couple of tourists,
leaving the beach after a nice day.

ROD
(turns the wheel, hits the gas)
Yeah.
With two dead bodies, a hostage,
and a bathtub full of bloody cash --