Sit On My Facebook

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of GUN-WILD, trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and the gang knock off the First Fisherman's Bank on Main Street in Santa Monica, but when the cops show up, things get a little ... tricky.


INT. FIRST FISHERMAN'S BANK - DAY
Cam BANGS open the front door.
Points her shotgun at the SECURITY GUARD (30),
a young, virile-looking hunk.

What the hell?
This ain’t no ‘old fart.’

CAM
Shit.

GUARD
(sees the gun)
HEY!

Cam PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He hits the ground.

TWO HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS
Scream.
FREEZE in their tracks.
Whimpering.

CAM
HANDS IN THE AIR.
This is a ROBBERY.

HONDO AND NET
BURST in the door.

Sawed-off shotguns aloft.
KA-CHINK, KA-CHINK.

HONDO
Nobody FUCKING MOVE!

A TELLER
An OLDER WOMAN (60) --
stares, open-mouthed. FAINTS.
Hits the floor, THWUMP.

THE OTHER TELLER
An ATTRACTIVE SOCCER MOM (40) --
SHOOTS her hands in the air.

HER FOOT
Presses a button on the floor.
Hitting the silent alarm.

CAM
Pulls out a can of paint.
SPRAYS the security camera.

THE GUARD
Gets up slowly, holding his head.
Reaches for his gun.

GUARD
Fucking -- bitch.

CAM
Sees him. Points the can.
SPRAYS his face black.

He puts his hands over his eyes.
SCREAMS in pain.

GUARD
My EYES, my EYES.

She WHIPS AROUND.
Sees the high school girls.
SHOVES her gun in their terrified faces.

CAM
On THE GROUND, NOW.

The girls stare, paralyzed with fear.

CAM
I said GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!

They HIT THE FLOOR.
Hugging each other. Crying.

CAM
Gimme your CELL PHONES.

SCARED SHITLESS CHICK
But -- my I-phone --

CAM
DO IT! NOW!

The girls TOSS them.
Cam STOMPS on the I-phone. CRUNCH.

CAM
Sit on my FACEBOOK.

Then CRACKS her boot on the BlackBerry.

CAM
Twitter-twitter, little WHORE.

HONDO AND NET
SHOVE their shotguns in Soccer Mom’s face.
Net THROWS a gym bag on the counter.

HONDO
Empty the drawer into the bag.

SOCCER MOM
Okay, okay, okay --

She starts shoving cash in the bag.

HONDO
Now the other drawer.
You cooperate, and no one’s gonna get hurt.

Soccer hesitates, scared shitless.

NET
DO IT, NOW!
Or I’ll blow your fucking HEAD OFF.

She opens the drawer, pulls out cash,
stuffs it in the bag.

HONDO
Now THE VAULT.

Soccer turns and looks at the vault.
The stacks of cash.

Net SHOVES her shotgun
against Soccer’s temple.

NET
Are you RETARDED?
Empty the FUCKING VAULT.

Soccer’s face turns RED.
Having a seizure.

Falls to the floor, twitching,
grabbing her throat.
Tongue lolling out.

SOCCER MOM
GAAAAA --

HONDO
Goddammit.
(GRABS the bag)
You want anything done,
you gotta do it YOURSELF.

Hondo goes the vault.
Starts shoving in banded wads of cash.

THE GUARD
GRAPPLES Cam around the waist.
Grasping for her gun.

Cam CRACKS him in the head
with the barrel.
He REELS backwards.

CAM
On the FLOOR, NOW --
or I’ll BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF.

THE GUARD
Pulls out his gun.

Starts moving in the direction of her voice.
Blindly waving it toward her.

She SHOOTS HIM in the head -- BANG.
It EXPLODES in a red mist.

He HITS the floor.
A pool of blood starts growing.

CAM
I hate it when they don’t listen.

HONDO
(looks)
What THE FUCK?

CAM
He wouldn’t listen.

A siren WHOOP-WHOOPS outside.

NET
THE COPS.

Hondo looks at his watch.
Two minutes. GRABS the bag.

HONDO
Let’s MOVE IT.

He races toward the back door.
Net follows him. Then Cam.

HONDO
(pushes it)
It’s FUCKING LOCKED.

Cam raises her gun.
BLASTS the door off its hinges. BANG.

CAM
Now it’s NOT.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
POLICE! DON’T MOVE!

They turn. Look.
A pair of SANTA MONICA COPS
stand in the doorway.
Guns pointed at them.

HONDO
(to Cam)
You didn’t LOCK THE DOOR.

CAM
Shit.

ANGRY COP
DROP YOUR GUNS! NOW!

CAM
Go FUCK YOURSELF!

She SHOOTS the cop.
He FLIES BACKWARD.

Shoots at the ceiling.
The SECOND COP fires at Cam.
She DUCKS. FIRES. BANG. BANG.

Blows a hole in his belly.
He SCREAMS in pain.
Hondo GRABS Cam’s hand.

HONDO
COME ON!

Races out the door, pulling her.
Net follows them into --

THE REAR ALLEY
Where Rod is parked in the Olds,
engine idling. Doors open.

Hondo THROWS the bag
onto the rear seats.
Jumps in front.

Cam and Net pile in after him,
get in the back.
SLAM the doors.

A COP runs into the back alley.
Aims his gun at them.

COP
STOP, POLICE!

Rod pulls out his Sig Sauer,
SQUEEZES of a few rounds --
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG.
The cop crumples to the ground.

ROD
Lock and load, MOTHERFUCKER.

STOMPS on the gas,
and they PEEL OUT in a SCREECH of rubber --