Book 'Em, Danno

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of GUN-WILD, renegade trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and the gang arrive at the First Fisherman's Bank on Main Street in Santa Monica, BURST through the doors and start robbing the joint ...


EXT. FIRST FISHERMAN’S BANK - NOON
A small-town plain brick building
on a Main Street corner.
Rod’s Olds pulls up to the curb in front.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS
On the car stereo,
the Ventures’ HAWAII FIVE-O.

Hondo leans over,
CLICKS it off.

NET
Hey! I LIKE that song.

HONDO
This ain’t no TV show.
This is serious shit, girlie.
We’re jacking a fucking BANK.

CAM
That was from a TV show?

ROD
You don’t remember HAWAII FIVE-O?
Jack Lord? Book ‘em, Danno?

CAM
Hawaii-what-o?
Book ‘em who-o?

ROD
I’m getting old.

HONDO
ENOUGH ALREADY.
Who the fuck you think you are, Tarantino?
(SLAPS the seat)
Go check the bank window, Gidget.

Cam opens her door.
Gets out. SLAMS it.

CAM
Stop calling me GIDGET.
My name is CAM.

NET
(imitates her)
'Stop calling me Gidget.
My name is CAM.'

She drains her beer. BURPS.

HONDO
Excuse me, CAM.
PLEASE go check and see
how many customers are in the bank,
PRETTY PLEASE?

CAM
That’s better.

Cam storms over to the bank entrance.

HONDO
Jesus fucking Christ on a stick,
what’s got her panties in a bind?

ROD
She told me her story last night.
She’s a runaway
from a mental institution.
Daddy locked her up.
It’s -- fucked up.

HONDO
(big smile)
Don’t tell me --
her daddy diddled her?

ROD
Worse.

HONDO
Now THAT’S my kinda girl.

NET
(PUNCHES him in the arm)
SHUT UP.

Hondo stares at her.

HONDO
You mean -- ?

NET
I said SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(beat)
Asshole.

HONDO
Jeez. Touchy --

EXT. BANK ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS
Cam goes to the window.
Peers inside. Turns around.

Comes back to the car.
Leans over the side. Whispers.

CAM
Only a couple people.
Two Juicy Couture high school bitches
sucking machiattas.

HONDO
Piece of cake.
Places please, kids.
It’s show-time.

Hondo and Net slide on
baseball caps. Shades.

Tie scarves around their necks.
Pile out of the car.

HONDO
(to Rod)
See you in the obituaries.

Rod salutes. Drives off.

Hondo and Net walk over to Cam.
Pull their scarves over their noses.
WHIP OUT their guns.

HONDO
Let’s do it.

CAM
BANGS open the front door.

INSIDE THE BANK
She points her shotgun at the
SECURITY GUARD (30),
a young, virile-looking hunk.

What the hell?
This ain’t no ‘old fart.’

CAM
Shit.

GUARD
(sees the gun)
HEY!

Cam PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He hits the ground.

THE HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS
Scream.

FREEZE in their tracks.
Whimpering.

CAM
HANDS IN THE AIR.
This is a ROBBERY.