Like White On Rice

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of GUN-WILD, Asian art dealer Kim Oh draws a perfect sketch of fugitive bank robbers Cam Clinch and Rod Funk for the cops after being held hostage. Meanwhile, Cam and Rod decide to hole up in a dive bar at the beach and plot their next move ...


INT. WINNEBAGO - DAY
The joint hums with activity.

Two pairs of CORONER’S OFFICE TECHS
carry out the bodies on gurneys.

CRIME SCENE TECHS dust the place for prints.
A PHOTOGRAPHER takes pictures.

Asian Art Vendor sits on the couch
with a sketch book, drawing.

Bobby and Taya sit on either side
watching him.

BOBBY
You’re really good.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Thank you. I like to -- sketch.

TAYA
(writes in notebook)
What’s your name, please?

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Kim Oh.

BOBBY
Kim O. -- what?
(off his look)
Your last name?

KIM
Oh. Spelled ‘O,’ ‘H.’

TAYA
Oh. Got it.

KIM
You couldn’t pronounce real name.

BOBBY
You ever consider working
for the police department, you’ve got a job.

Hispanic Cop walks into the room.

HISPANIC COP
How’s it going.

BOBBY
Amazing. Take a look.
(nudges Kim)
Show him?

Kim turns the sketch around.
We see an incredibly photo-realistic picture
of Cam and Rod.

HISPANIC COP
Holy shit.
That’s them.

BOBBY
Can you get this out right away?

HISPANIC COP
Sure.

BOBBY
Send it to every department
in a hundred mile radius.

TAYA
And the media.

HISPANIC COP
(takes the drawing)
I’m on it like white on rice.
(realizes)
Uh -- sorry about that.

He leaves.
Kim looks at the coffee table.

Wipes the glass with a finger.
Rubs it on his gums.

TAYA
Hey.

BOBBY
It’s okay. He’s in shock.
(to Kim)
No more of that, okay?

KIM
(nods, looks at him)
That’s good shit.
(beat)
Nice -- freeze.

EXT. VENICE PIER - DUSK
Sunset. A cloud-covered orange smear
on the gray horizon.
The VW bus rolls into the lot. Stops.

IN THE VAN
Cam rubs her bare arms.

CAM
I’m cold.

ROD
Let’s go get something to warm us up.

CAM
(evil smile)
Liquor store?

ROD
Uh-uh.
(meaningfully)
Hinano’s.

CAM
What’s Hinano’s?

ROD
You don’t know HINANO’S?
It’s only been around for 75 years.
50 microbrews on tap.
Hot and cold running shooters.
Killer jukebox.
Best cheeseburgers in town.
And if you know the owner,
you can get mescal.

CAM
Let’s go eat the worm.
(beat)
You think they’ll have
much in the register?

ROD
Cam, this is one of my old hangouts.

CAM
So we’re just gonna have drinks?

ROD
Yeah.
We’re just gonna chill for a little bit.
You know, like ‘normal’ people?

CAM
'Normal?'
What’s that?

A Goddamn Laugh Riot

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of GUN-WILD, fugitive bank robbers Cam Clinch and Rod Funk hot wire a stolen car and make their getaway ... but there's just one problem ... the hostage they left behind is an artist, and says he can draw of picture of them for the cops ..


EXT. VENICE BEACH - BACK ALLEY - DAY
Bobby and Taya RUN down the alley off the boardwalk.
Reach the corner. Stop. Look around.

BOBBY
Shit.

TAYA
Fuck.

BOBBY
Where did they go?

Another POLICE CRUISER roars up the corner.
BRAKES with a SCREECH of rubber.
They dash over to it.

BEEFY HISPANIC COP
Are you Robbery/Homicide?

BOBBY
(nods)
Detective Teen, this is detective Ralls.

HISPANIC COP
(eyes her)
Hi, there.
(nods at the car)
Jump in.
They’re around her somewhere.
Could use the extra eyes.

They get in.
The cruisers ROARS off down Speedway.

INT. WINNEBAGO - AT THAT MOMENT
Cam’s got the gym bag filled with wet money.
Water drips onto the floor.

Rod finishes tying up Asian Art Vendor with rope.
SLAPS duct tape over his mouth.
He stares balefully.

CAM
Chink’s got eyes like a puppy dog.

Rod grabs a towel.
Ties it around his head.

ROD
There.

CAM
Maybe we should put him to sleep.

ROD
NO. We’re in enough trouble as it is.

CAM
Jesus Christ, I was JOKING.

ROD
You’re a goddamn laugh-riot.
Now let’s get the fuck out of here.

EXT. WINNEBAGO - CONTINUOUS
Rod and Cam walk down the alley.
Approach an old VW van.

ROD
Perfect.

He goes to the passenger door.
Jimmies it open. They pile in.

INT. VW VAN - CONTINUOUS
Cam shoots Rod a look.

CAM
What is it with you and old cars?

ROD
I told you, they’re easier to break into --
and there’s usually no alarm.
(looks in the rear view)
Shit, COPS. Duck down --

They crouch down in the seat.

IN THE ALLEY
The police cruiser pulls up
alongside the Winnebago.
Bobby and Taya JUMP out.

RACE over to door.
Pull out their guns.

IN THE VW VAN
Rod and Cam peer over the seat.
Watching.

CAM
I say we drive outta here real slow.
Pretty soon this place is
gonna be crawling with pigs.

ROD
(looks at her)
You watch a lot of old movies, don’t you?

She shoots him a look.
Raises her gun. Crooked smile.

CAM
(low)
You've got to ask yourself
one question, punk.
(CLICKS the safety)
Do I feel lucky?

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Bobby and Taya walk carefully
into the back, weapons drawn.

BOBBY
(nods at the door)
I’m gonna check out the bedroom.
You cover me.

TAYA
Got it.

Bobby KICKS OPEN the door.
BURSTS IN.

IN THE BEDROOM
Bobby sees Asian Art Vendor.
Rushes to him.

Peels off the duct tape.
Starts untying the ropes.

IN THE MAIN ROOM
Taya starts climbing the circular staircase.
Bobby comes into the room with Asian.
Sees Taya.

BOBBY
Look what I found.

Asian stares. Mute. Terrified.

TAYA
A hostage --

BOBBY
And he’s in shock.

TAYA
I’m gonna go upstairs.
Look for evidence.
You stay with him.

BOBBY
Got it.
(beat)
Love it when you take charge.

Taya starts up the stairs.
Bobby motions for Asian to sit on the couch.
He does. Looks like he’s about to implode.

Bobby goes to the coffee table.
Wets a finger.

Wipes it on the glass.
Tastes it.

BOBBY
Got ourselves some cocaine cowboys.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Not cowboys -- man and woman.

BOBBY
Did you see their faces?

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Yes. I can draw picture if you like.

BOBBY
I like.

UPSTAIRS
Taya slowly reaches the top of the stairs,
gun aimed with both hands. Listening.
She walks into the bedroom, and sees --

Hondo and Net’s dead bodies.
Lying in pools of blood.

Candle still flickering.
Soft Buddha chill still thumping.

She SCREAMS.

EXT. VENICE ALLEY - AT THAT MOMENT
The cop in the cruiser hears the scream.
JUMPS OUT of the car.
DASHES into the Winnebago.

ROD AND CAM
Watch from the VW van.

ROD
That’s our cue.

He touches two stripped wires
together on the steering column.
They SPARK.

The bus engine ROARS to life.
He puts it in gear,
and they start slowly
driving down the alley.

IN THE VAN
Cam looks at Rod.

ROD
Where we gonna go?

CAM
Hell if I know.

ROD
Let’s go down to the Venice pier.
We need to think, regroup.
We can sleep in the back.
(weird smile)
Pretend it’s the summer of love.

CAM
We can -- play that game again.

ROD
Don’t you ever want -- vanilla?

CAM
Sorry, love-bucket.
(pulls out her gun)
Not on the menu --

Hold Onto Your Tits

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of GUN-WILD, fugitive bank robbers Cam Clinch and Rod Funk are chased by the cops in their RV right into the middle of the crowded Venice boardwalk, causing complete pandemonium ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH - PARKING LOT - DAY
The giant RV slowly pulls out of the parking lot.

UP AHEAD
A POLICE CRUISER comes roaring straight at them.
Cherry top FLASHING.

Siren SCREAMING.
WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Cam grips the back of the seat.

CAM
Fucking COPS.

Rod turns right, onto the boardwalk.

ROD
Hold onto your tits --

CAM
Ohmigod, NO.
Not on the fucking BOARDWALK!

ROD
You wanna go to fucking JAIL?

And he PUNCHES the gas.

THE WINNEBAGO
Takes off like rocket, PLOWS into the crowd.
People SCREAM, JUMP out of the way.

It SMASHES into a vendor’s TABLE.
Cheap, shitty jewelry FLIES in the air.

THE POLICE CRUISER
Turns left. Follows them. Picks up speed.

POLICE OFFICER (O.C.)
(electronic)
YOU, in the RV -- STOP, NOW!

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Cam looks in the rearview.

CAM
They’re FOLLOWING US.

Asian Art Dealer SCREAMS.

CAM
SHUT UP, fucking CHINK.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
I’m Japanese, not CHINESE.
We don’t LOOK ALIKE.

CAM
Yes YOU DO, motherfucker!

THE WINNEBAGO
SWERVES. Careens into a SIDEWALK CAFE.

PLOWS into tables. CRASH.
Patrons LEAP out of their seats.
JUMP out of the way.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Rod looks at Cam.

ROD
Hold on tight.
I got an idea.

He STOMPS on the brakes.

ON THE BOARDWALK
The Winnebago SCREECHES to a halt.

The police cruiser SMASHES
into the rear end. CRASH.
The hood CRUMPLES.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Rod turns left,
pulls into an alley between buildings.

BOBBY AND TAYA
Come running up the boardwalk, weapons drawn.
They race up to the ruined cruiser.

BOBBY
You okay?

IRATE COP
Yeah. FUCK-HEADS.
(points)
They went down that alley.
Big fucking RV.

BOBBY
Okay, got it.
(to Taya)
C’mon --

And they RACE toward the alley.

IN THE ALLEY
The Winnebago turns right onto
a narrow street behind the boardwalk.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Rod downshifts.
Slows down a bit.

ROD
Okay, where do we go,
where do we go.

CAM
Turn left into that alley.

THE WINNEBAGO
Turns left.

Lumbers through an alley
between walkway streets.

A tight squeeze.
It pulls over. Stops.

IN THE WINNEBAGO
Rod turns. Looks at Cam.

ROD
Okay, what now?

CAM
We grab the money,
go jack new wheels.

ROD
The money’s floating in the tub, doll.

CAM
Then you watch Egg Foo Young here,
and I’ll go wrap it up in a towel.

She gets out of her seat.
Moves toward the rear of the bus.

ASIAN ART DEALER
Sits in his seat.

Trembling with anger.
Glares at Cam.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Egg Foo Young is CHINESE FOOD.
NOT Japanese.

Cam comes up to him.
Places her gun against his head.

CAM
You’re confusing me
with someone who gives a fuck.
(CLICKS the safety)
Go ahead. Give me a reason.

ROD
CAM. Stop fucking around.

CAM
(lowers her gun, to Asian)
This is your lucky day, Grasshopper.
(strokes the barrel)
Me love you long time --

The Home Of The Homeless

Happy X, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of GUN-WILD, Robbery Homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls hear gunshots on the Venice Beach boardwalk, and run toward the location they came from ... which is Rod and Cam's RV, where in the aftermath of killing Hondo and Net, they take an Asian art vendor hostage and start making their getaway ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH BOARDWALK - DAY
Bobby and Taya eat slices of pizza.
Bobby’s got his folded in half lengthwise.
Taya eats hers off a paper plate.

They walk by a grizzled group of HIPPIES
playing bad music for a sidewalk cafe.

The patrons could give a shit.
The hippies are oblivious,
living their Grateful Dead dreams.

BOBBY
That’s what I like about Venice.
Fucking time warp.
(points)
Check out Abbie Hoffman over there.

TAYA
(looks, frowns)
I can smell him from here.

BOBBY
Welcome to ‘The home of the homeless.’

TAYA
(chuckles)
You’re terrible.

They continue walking.
Pass a group of HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS.

BOBBY
Bastard was right.
They DO all look alike.
(beat)
Jailbait HOOKERS.

A BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER (30)
runs up to them.

BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER
Officers, officers!
Did you hear the gunshots?

BOBBY
GUNSHOTS? Where?

TAYA
How did you know we were --

BUFF ISRAELI SHOPKEEPER
(points)
In the parking lot.
Over that way --
(to Taya)
Your shoes. Dead giveaway.

BOBBY
Thanks.
(to Taya)
COME ON.

They pull out their guns.
Start RUNNING.

TAYA
I’m getting fucking SNEAKERS.

INT. WINNEBAGO - AT THAT MOMENT
Cam and Rod stand near the door. Guns drawn.
Listening to the POUNDING on the door.

ASIAN MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Hey! Are you alright in there?

ROD
Go get the door.
Tell him the engine backfired.

CAM
I got an idea.

She pulls off her T-shirt.
Big grin.

ROD
You’re a genius.

Cam goes to the door. OPENS IT.

OUTSIDE THE WINNEBAGO
Stands an ASIAN ART VENDOR (30’s).
Small, squirrely. Glasses.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(sees Cam, stares)
Oh. Hello.

CAM
(brightly)
Hey, there. What’s up?

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(eyes wide)
I heard -- gunshots.
Are you -- okay?

CAM
Gunshots?
Those weren’t gunshots.
The engine backfired.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
No -- I heard gunshots.
(staring)
I called -- 911.

Rod appears in the doorway.
With a sawed-off shotgun.

ROD
Get in the fucking BUS, NOW.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
(scared, confused, turned on)
But I don’t -- understand.

Cam reaches over.
GRABS his arm.
YANKS him inside.

CAM
Sorry -- no tickie.

INSIDE THE WINNEBAGO
Cam holds her gun against Asian’s head.

CAM (CONT'D)
(points to the dining nook)
Over there, SIT.

Asian does. Scared shitless.

ASIAN ART VENDOR
Please, don’t hurt me.
I was only trying to HELP.

CAM
Shut the FUCK up.
(to Rod)
We gotta get the fuck out of here, NOW.

ROD
What are we gonna do about HIM?

CAM
We’ll figure that out later.
C’MON, we gotta get OUTTA HERE.

Rod DASHES OVER to the driver’s seat.
GUNS the engine.

CAM
Go slow.
We’re just a couple of tourists,
leaving the beach after a nice day.

ROD
(turns the wheel, hits the gas)
Yeah.
With two dead bodies, a hostage,
and a bathtub full of bloody cash --

To Protect And Swerve

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of GUN-WILD, robbery/homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls check out the Venice Beach location where the bank robbers spent some of the loot. Meanwhile, right down the street, things get bloody in the heisters RV when Rod wakes up to find Hondo blowing him, which sends Cam off the deep end ...

EXT. VENICE BOARDWALK - CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
A tiny, sleepy joint.
LOCALS shuffle by STREET VENDORS.

A pair of HOMELESS KIDS hold up a sign:
FUCK MILK. GOT POT?

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - CONTINUOUS
Detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls
speak with the STORE OWNER (50’s),
a wiry, angry-looking Armenian.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
You mean to tell me I’m out a hundred bucks?

BOBBY
(holds up the bill)
I’m sorry, but it’s evidence.

He zips it into a glassine bag.
Puts it in his pocket.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
But that’s my MONEY.

TAYA
I’m sorry, sir.
It’s standard procedure.
You’ll get it back.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Yeah, right -- it’ll get put
in some fucking evidence locker,
and will get mysteriously LOST.

BOBBY
EXCUSE ME?

TAYA
Could you describe the young woman
who spent the bill?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
She was a young girl, early 20’s.
Boardwalk’s full of ‘em.
They all look alike. Blonde.
T-shirt and jeans. Flip-flops.

BOBBY
(squinting at something on the wall)
That your license to sell beer and wine?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Uh -- yeah.

BOBBY
Boy, I’d bet business would go WAY down
if you couldn’t sell Colt 45 and Thunderbird.

Pause.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
She was kinda strange.
Kept giggling to herself.
Bought all kinds of junk food,
and a ton of beer and wine.
Surprised she could carry it all.

TAYA
Was she wearing a baseball cap?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Yeah. Yankees cap.
Don’t see them that much around here,
come to think of it.

BOBBY
What about her T-shirt?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Some band shirt. My Life With --

TAYA
My life with?

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
Some cult.

BOBBY
A cult? But you said it was a band --

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
The Thrill Kill Kult. That’s it.
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult.
With a cartoon of a -- stripper or something.
Dominatrix shit.

Bobby and Taya exchange glances.

BOBBY
Thank you very much.
You’ve been most helpful.

TAYA
Don’t worry about the money.
I promise we’ll have it dusted for prints
and mailed to you in a couple of days.

ARMENIAN STORE OWNER
(still pissed)
Okay.

Bobby and Taya amble outside onto --

THE BOARDWALK
Bobby pulls out the bag.
Takes out the hundred. Smiles.

TAYA
What are you doing? That’s evidence.

BOBBY
(waves it at her)
Already dusted for prints.
C’mon, let’s go grab a slice to eat
while we canvas the area.
I know a great place right down the street.

TAYA
You’re evil.

BOBBY
To protect and serve -- ourselves.

INT. WINNEBAGO - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - A LITTLE LATER
The joint has become a true opium den.
Windows blacked out.
Debris scattered around.

Some Buddha Lounge chill thumps softly in the haze.
A lone candle flickers in the shadows.

Net lays next to Cam, snuggling.
Cam is out cold, a dreamy smile on her lips.
Net strokes her hair, softly humming.

Rod lays at the end of the bed, face up.
Hondo’s on his knees beside him -- giving Rod head.

Slowly, up and down. Up and down.
In heaven. Having a gay old time.

Net puts her arm around Cam’s waist.
SQUEEZES tight.

NET
Mmmmmm.

CAM
(awakens)
OW.
(looks)
HEY. Get the fuck OFF ME.

She WHIPS Net’s arm away.

NET
What? What’s wrong?

CAM
(awake now)
FUCKING DYKE.

Rod stirs from his opium-laced reverie.
Sees what Hondo is doing. FREAKS OUT.

THROWS Hondo off of him. PUNCHES him.
Hondo HITS the floor with a CRACK.

HONDO
HEY, ow, FUCK!

ROD
What the FUCK do you think you’re DOING?

HONDO
You seemed to like it.

CAM
(looks)
What’s the fuck’s GOING ON?

HONDO
(to Cam)
He was fucking BLOWING ME!

Cam SCREAMS. GRABS her gun. Takes aim.
SHOOTS Hondo in the chest, BANG.
A red stain starts growing on his t-shirt.

HONDO
You SHOT ME. Fucking BITCH!

NET
HONDO!

Net races over to him.
Cam fires again. BANG.
In the neck.

Blood starts SPRAYING.
Net tries to stop it with her hands.

CAM
That’ll teach you to mess with MY MAN.

ROD
CAM? WHAT THE FUCK!?

NET
(looks at Cam)
You fucking CUNT! You SHOT HIM!

CAM
Those are your last words --
(SHOOTS HER)
Bitch.

Net falls over. THWUNK.
Shot in the head.

The arc of blood from Hondo’s neck FLIES OUT --
onto the open bag of money.

ROD
Jesus fucking Christ, Cam.
Jesus fucking CHRIST.
Look what you did.
We’re FUCKED. FUCKED.
(beat)
Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod.

Cam stares at the bodies.
A strange look in her eyes.

CAM
(a whisper)
Shot his head -- clean off.

ROD
(sees)
Oh, SHIT. FUCK. The money!

He LEAPS out of bed.
Grabs the case.
Takes it into --

THE BATHROOM
Where he THROWS it in the bathtub.

TURNS ON the shower,
spraying water on the money.
He RACES back into --

THE BEDROOM
Where Cam stands over the bodies.

Fondling the gun.
Rod comes up behind her. Looks.

CAM
(spooky)
Where’d you go, honey?

ROD
We gotta clean the money.
It’s covered in BLOOD.

CAM
You mad at me?

Be careful here.

ROD
No, I’m not mad at you.
(sighs)
We’ve gotta figure out what
we’re gonna do with the bodies.
(thinks)
First we need to get the fuck outta here.
Someone must of heard the gun shots.

We hear a loud KNOCKING
on the door downstairs.

Something inside Cam CLICKS back on.
She turns, looks at Rod.

CAM
Don’t worry, honey.
I’ll take care of it.

PUSH IN ON Rod. Scared shitless.

ROD
That’s what I’m afraid of --

Party Out Of Bounds

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of GUN-WILD, bank robbers Cam Clinch and Rod Funk go to the bedroom of the RV to make love, but Cam wants to do it on a pile of money ... with her gun ...


INT. WINNEBAGO - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - NIGHT
Circular stairs lead up to the second level bedroom.
Plush and ornate. Plasma-screen. Wet bar.

The stereo softly thumps some
trippy world-beat like Thievery Corporation.

Cam lays back on the bed against the pillows.
Rod sits on the other side.
Sips a drink.

ROD
But I don’t understand.

CAM
I said, no touching.

ROD
So, what -- you want me to watch you -- ?

CAM
(dreamy)
I like to watch --

ROD
Watch you -- play with yourself?

CAM
First -- the money.

ROD
What do you wanna do with the money?

CAM
Wanna -- fuck the money.
(sips her drink)
Throw some on the bed, willya?

Rod puts his drink down.
Leans over, takes a couple of
fistfuls of bills from the bag on the floor.

ROD
You’re crazy --

And he THROWS the cash on the bed.
It flutters down over Cam.

CAM
(giggles)
More, more, MORE.

She picks the gun up off the bedside table.
Starts rubbing it on her crotch.
Rod THROWS more money on her.

CAM
Yeah, that’s it -- that’s it --

She grabs some with her other hand.
Rubs it on her chest.

CAM
Hot dollars --

ROD
Fuck. Turning me on --

He reaches into his boxer shorts.
Starts stroking it.

CAM
You like that, baby?

ROD
You’re so -- fucking hot.

CAM
Gun-wild, lover. Gun-wild.

She maneuvers the pistol inside her panties.
Slowly, carefully -- slides the barrel inside.

GASPS.

CAM
(closes her eyes)
Ohmigod.

ROD
Holy shit.

CAM
OMIGOD -- I’m gonna --

ROD
UHHH -- UHHH --

CAM
I’m gonna, I’m gonna --

Her body shudders.
She MOANS. CRIES OUT. AHHHHHHHHH.

Finally finding release.
Rod SHOOTS a load in his shorts.

ROD
ARRRRRRRRRGH.

We hear FOOTSTEPS coming up the stairs.
A soft knock-knock.

HONDO (O.C.)
Greetings, love birds.

HONDO
Appears in the doorway.
Net, shyly hides behind him. WASTED.

HONDO
I brought a peace offering.
(holds up a pipe)
Black opium. Total chill.
(smiles)
Party out of bounds.

Cam’s eyes open.
Looks at Rod. Huh?

Rod looks at Hondo.
Tries to focus.

ROD
Opium? I didn’t you know had --

HONDO
Secret stash. For emergencies.

CAM
Never did -- opium.

NET
It’s -- beautiful.
(raises her hands)
Beautiful.

HONDO
(sees the money)
Why’s all the cash on the gash?

CAM
Reindeer games, baby.

ROD
She’s a little -- kinky.

HONDO
Tell me something I DIDN’T know.

He smiles.
Comes over to the bed.
Sits at the end.

Net joins him.
He lights the pipe.
Takes a big hit.

Holds it in. Leans over.
Hands it to Cam. EXHALES.

HONDO
Get ready to see God --

CAM
(takes the pipe)
Just saw her, baby.
(dreamy)
Just saw her.
(beat)
And she made me come --
(beat)
With cold blue steel.

She slides the pipe between her lips.
Flicks her Bic --

And TAKES A BIG HIT.

Faster, Pussycat

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of GUN-WILD, things get a little kinky when the bank robbers get wasted partying in their hideout Winnebago. Hondo makes a pass at Rod ... and then Net starts hitting on Cam ... but then Cam pulls out her gun and pulls Rod into the bedroom so she can get 'both barrels' ...


INT. WINNEBAGO - NIGHT
Psycho-rockabilly AT FULL VOLUME:
Horropops’ THELMA & LOUISE.

Rod and Hondo sit on the couch,
high as fucking kites.

Cam and Net do a frenzied go-go dance
on the coffee table.

Net’s topless,
shaking with abandon,
gun in hand.

NET
(sings)
Just like, Thelma and Loooo-uise --

Cam takes a swig from
a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Reaches around,
UNSNAPS her halter top.
It FLIES OFF.

She SHAKES HER BOOBS
in time with Net.

CAM
Faster, pussycat!

HONDO
BOOBAGE! Shake it, sunset girl!

Net sees. Smiles.
GRABS Cam’s boobs with both hands.

NET
HONK-HONK!

CAM
HEY!

She SLAPS Net’s hands away.

NET
Oooh, touchy --

HONDO
Touchy-FEELY.

ROD
(stands)
Hey, baby -- wanna dance?

He goes to Cam.
Takes her hand.
She JUMPS off the table.

Dances like a maniac.
Shakes her boobs in his face.

Hondo comes up behind Rod.
GRABS his ass with both hands.

Rod WHIRLS AROUND --
and SLAPS him in the face.

ROD
BACK OFF.

HONDO
(rubs his cheek, smiles)
Dude. Why so uptight?
Just fuckin’ with ya.

ROD
The only FUCKING I do
is with CHICKS -- GOT IT?

HONDO
(raises his hands)
Chill, bro -- chill.

Hondo goes to Net,
still dancing on the table,
eyes closed, blissed out.

GRABS her hand,
PULLS her down with a YANK --
bare feet SLAP the floor.

NET
OW!

Hondo picks her up.

HONDO
C’mon, hot stuff -- private party.
(looks at Rod)
No prudes allowed.
(laughs)
Pussy to go --

And he carries her off
to the back bedroom, Net SQUEALING.

Rod watches them.
Turns to Cam.
Puts his arms around her.

CAM
What are you -- doing?

ROD
Give you any ideas?

Cam pulls out her gun.
Aims it at his crotch.

CAM
Let’s go upstairs -- play a game.

ROD
(pushes it away)
Whoah. Careful.
That’s the family jewels.

Cam smiles.
Rubs the gun against her crotch.

CAM
Maybe this is better.
Longer. Stiffer.
(meaningfully)
Never shoots blanks.

ROD
Kinky girl.
So that’s the way
you want to play it?

Cam leers.
Holds the gun barrel
against her lips.
Licks it.

CAM
Let’s go upstairs and find out.
(beat)
And bring the money --

INT. BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Hondo lies in bed with Net.
Touches her bare leg.

She SLAPS his hand away.
Pulls out a joint. Lights it.

NET
Keep your hands off me -- faggot.

HONDO
(laughs)
Who you calling a faggot?

NET
You wanna fuck him --
instead of me.

HONDO
You got that wrong, darlin’ --
I wanna fuck BOTH of you.
(beat)
You said you were a swinger.

NET
A Straight swinger, asshole --
not fucking GAY.

HONDO
What? You never orgied?

NET
Yeah, but where I come from,
guys fuck girls,
and girls fuck girls,
but GUYS don’t fuck GUYS.

HONDO
That’s right, I forgot --
you’re from Texas.

NET
What the fuck is THAT
supposed to mean?

She grabs a bottle of tequila
on the bed stand. CHUGS it.

HONDO
You know you might be a redneck, IF --

NET
ASSHOLE!

Net THROWS the bottle at him. He DUCKS.
It SMASHES against the wall -- CRASH.

HONDO
BABY!
(grabs her)
I’m SORRY.

NET
(shrieks)
What the FUCK?

She starts crying. Sobbing.
He strokes her hair.

HONDO
I’m sorry, baby -- I’m sorry.
I was just playin’ with you --
(beat)
We’re fucked up -- you know?
I’m SORRY.

NET
(tears subside)
Kay --

HONDO
What can I do to
make it up to you?
What would make my
little bank robber happy?

Net pulls away.
Nasty smile.
Eyes burning.

NET
You can fix me a Cam sandwich --

Fuck Me, Baby Jesus

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of GUN-WILD, robbery/homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls get down and dirty at a cheap motel on the wrong end of Wilshire Boulevard, but when Bobby gets a call that some of the money from the bank job was spent in Venice Beach, they spring into action ...


EXT. SLEAZY MOTEL - DAY
‘The International.’
Flags from around the world
painted on a cinder block bunker.
Behind a gas station in The Hood.

Bobby and Taya’s car is parked
at the end of the gravel lot.

INT. - MOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Bobby lies on top of Taya
on a giant heart-shaped bed.

PUMPING away.
Taya MOANS in ecstacy.

TAYA
That’s it, FUCK ME, white boy.

BOBBY
You like it, don’t you, BROWN SUGAR?

TAYA
YES. YES.

BOBBY
Who’s your daddy NOW?!

TAYA
FUCK me, DADDY -- ride me, HARD.

BOBBY
I’m gonna SHOOT MY LOAD.

TAYA
GOD, YES -- YES --

BOBBY
Dropping LOADS --

TAYA
Fill me UP, BABY --

BOBBY
I’m gonna -- I’m gonna --

TAYA
I’m gonna -- I’m gonna --

BOBBY
FUCK ME baby JESUS.

TAYA
AHHHHHHHHHH --

BOBBY
YEEEEAHHHHH --

They climax in an earth-shattering
crescendo of pleasure.

Hold each other for dear life.
SCREAMING with passion.

Silence.

He rolls off her.
Leans over.
Lights a smoke.

BOBBY
Goddammit, woman.

TAYA
(out of breath)
I haven’t come like that --
(looks)
Light me one too?

He does.
Hands it to her.

She takes a puff.
Thinking.

TAYA
What the fuck is 'Brown Sugar?'

BOBBY
Rolling Stones song.
(inhales)
You’ve never heard BROWN SUGAR?

TAYA
I’m twenty-five.

BOBBY
Oh, right.
(beat)
It’s a compliment.
Trust me.
(sings)
'I’m no schoolboy,
but I know what I like.'

He looks at her. Shy.
Eyes full of wonder.

BOBBY
I’ve never done --
sex talk like that before.

TAYA
You mean the racial stereotype stuff?

BOBBY
Yeah.
(beat)
Fucking hot.

TAYA
(smiles)
If you’re good, next time
I’ll let you use the N-word.
(beat)
'Fuck me baby Jesus?'

BOBBY
Catholic upbringing.
(looks at her)
Guilt makes me hard.

Bobby’s cell phone rings.
He reaches over, grabs it.

BOBBY
(into the phone)
Teen here.
(listens)
You’re shitting me.
(listens)
Of course, sure.
(listens)
We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.
(listens)
Uh -- we were just --
grabbing a bite to eat.

A woman’s voices SHRIEKS
from the room next door.

A bullwhip CRACKS.
Another SCREAM.

BOBBY
Of course not, no.
(listens)
Food’s really spicy.
(listens)
Yeah, right.
In your hat.
See you soon.

He hangs up.
LEAPS out of bed.

BOBBY
That was the chief.
Great news.
One of the bills from the bank
was spent at Venice Beach.

TAYA
Marked?

BOBBY
Yeah. Amateur hour.
Pros know not to take
what’s in the drawer.

TAYA
(starts getting dressed)
So we got ourselves some cowboys.

BOBBY
(pulls on his jeans)
Yeah, and unfortunately,
those are the most dangerous kind.

TAYA
(snaps on her shoulder holster)
Then let’s wrastle us some varmits --
(slides in her gun, wicked smile)
And then later we can
do some more ‘ropin’ and ridin.’

Friends Don't Let Friends Share Needles

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of GUN-WILD, trust fund heiress-turned bank robber Cam Clinch and the gang hole up in their RV at a Venice Beach parking lot and party to celebrate getting away from the cops with the loot. But when heister Hondo Ruff pulls out a bag of heroin, the shindig gets REALLY interesting ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
The Winnebago is in a small lot
at the north end of the boardwalk.

A handful of decrepit HIPPIE RV’S
sit, gathering dust.

JESUS WAS HOMELESS
proclaims a former school bus.

INT. WINNEBAGO - CONTINUOUS
A sleazy, go-go groove courtesy of
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult
bumps and grinds on the stereo.
Blinds are drawn.

Hondo chops up
a big mound of white powder
on the coffee table
with a credit card.

The bag of money
lies at his feet.

HONDO
Ready to go to Magic Mountain?

Net does the twist,
slides over to the table,
resplendent in bra and panties,
sloshing her tumbler of whiskey.

NET
Definite E-ticket, baby.

Hondo hands her
a rolled-up C-note.

She bends down,
SNARFS up a big fat line.
He SMACKS her on the ass.

NET
(giggles)
OW.
(rubs her nose)
It BURNS.

HONDO
Pharmaceutical-grade
crystal methedrine, doll.
Gonna twist your tits GOOD.

NET
That’s fucking SPEED?

HONDO
Just until we score
some more booger sugar.
Emergency K-rations.

NET
Fucking meth --
(has brilliant idea)
Let’s do a SPEEDBALL.

ROD AND CAM
Walk into frame
with their drinks.

Both completely lit.
Cam’s gun sticks out
of her waistband.

ROD
Did I hear the word 'speedball?'

HONDO
I didn’t know you partook
in the smack-iary arts.

ROD
Once in a blue moon.
Usually I just chip --
but fuck it,
it’s a special occasion.

CAM
I wanna do one, too.

Hondo pulls a black felt bag
out of his jacket.
Unrolls it.

Slides out a large
HYPODERMIC NEEDLE.
Holds it up. Smiles.

HONDO
Friends don’t let friends
share needles.

Net sits down next to him.
Puts her hand on his knee.

NET
Who said we’re FRIENDS?

They look at each other.
SCREAM with laughter.

CAM
That’s a -- big needle.

HONDO
All the better to eat you with.
(looks at Rod)
You should see my cock.

ROD
I’ll pass.

NET
You don’t know what you’re missing.

CAM
(to Hondo and Net)
Stop hitting on my man, fuckos --
let’s get FUCKED UP.

HONDO
Your wish is my demand.

He pours some heroin onto a spoon.
Then a little meth.

Squirts a little water on it.
Lights it with his Bic.

THE MIXTURE
In the spoon BUBBLES.

THE NEEDLE
Slides into it.

THE PLUNGER
Pulls.

The shaft fills with
swirling white magic.

HONDO
Holds the syringe like a surgeon.

YANKS the rubber tubing
around his forearm
with his other hand.

Show and tell.

HONDO
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Rolling Stoned.

And he PUSHES the needle into his arm --

Gin-Soaked

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of GUN-WILD, robbery/homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls, distraught after finding out three cops were killed in the bank robbery, go to a local dive bar to mourn their loss, but then in a strange twist, grief soon turns to lust ...


EXT. CHEZ JAY - LATE AFTERNOON
A small, crusty beach dive
just south of the Santa Monica pier.

We see Bobby and Taya’s sedan
parked in the gravel lot.

INT. CHEZ JAY - CONTINUOUS
Dark, dank. Sawdust on the floor.
The kind of place where
serious drinking gets done.
Food’s not bad, either.

A pair of GRIZZLED REGULARS
sit at the bar living their liquid lives.

A ball game plays softly over the bar.
The jukebox plays some
forgotten, gin-soaked classic.

Bobby and Taya sit at stools at the end.
He drains a bottle of beer.

Points at it,
then the empty shot glass.

BOBBY
(to the bartender)
Another round?
(looks at Taya)
You okay?

Taya eyes him warily,
sips her Diet Coke.

TAYA
I’m fine, thanks.

The SMUG BARTENDER (40’s)
brings over another shot and beer.
Places them in front of Bobby.

SMUG BARTENDER
Here you go, officer.

Bobby eyes him coolly.
SLAMS down the shot.
Sips the beer.

BOBBY
Is that a cockroach
over there by the sink?
(shakes his head)
Be a shame to lose
that ‘C’ rating --

SMUG BARTENDER
Tell it to the owner.
I’m just a mixologist.

He turns around and
starts washing glasses.

BOBBY
Three officers were KILLED today.
And I don’t appreciate
your ATTITUDE, pal.

TAYA
Bobby --

BOBBY
Shut up.
Drink your fucking COKE.

SMUG BARTENDER
(turns, stares)
THREE cops were killed?

BOBBY
Yeah, fucking bank job
right down the street.
Don’t you watch the news?

SMUG BARTENDER
Fuck, no.
Too depressing.
I just watch the game.

Pause.

TAYA
There’s another shooting
on the news every day --

BOBBY
Economy’s in the fucking toilet.
Santa Monica used to be SAFE,
and now we’ve got these --
heathens running RIOT
on my home turf.
Fucking cops are DEAD.

Taya looks down.
A tear slides down her cheek.

TAYA
My parents were shot --
(starts to lose it)
Home invasion.

BOBBY
Holy shit.

She looks up.
Eyes glistening.

TAYA
Reason I joined the force.
(half smile)
Quit law school --

BOBBY
(to Smug)
How about a little rum
in the lady’s coke,
my good man.

Smug pulls down a bottle of 151.
Holds it over Taya’s glass
like a question.

She nods. He pours.
Then another shot for Bobby.

One for himself.
Raises it.

SMUG BARTENDER
This one’s on the house.

They toast. Drink.
Taya winces.
Hers is STRONG.

BOBBY
(to Taya)
We’re gonna get these fuckers,
if it’s the last thing I do.
You with me?

TAYA
Fuck, yeah.

He leans over.
Kisses her on the cheek.

TAYA
(surprised she likes it)
What was -- that for?

BOBBY
I dunno.
Felt like it.
(beat)
You’re kinda cute
when you’re distraught.
(off her stare)
Okay, I’m drunk.

Taya DRAINS her drink.
Wipes her mouth.

SLAMS the glass
down on the bar. CRACK.

TAYA
So let’s get a fucking room.

SMUG BARTENDER
(turns around)
I’m not hearing this --

BOBBY
What the fuck?

TAYA
You wanted to ball me
the first moment you
laid your eyes on me.

BOBBY
(turning red)
You’re crazy.

Taya stands.
Puts her purse over her shoulder.

TAYA
You coming?

Hit And Run Holiday

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of GUN-WILD, trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and the gang hit the road with the stolen cash from the bank job in her parents' RV and celebrate with liquor and drugs, but when they hear on the news that the cops know Cam's identity, they decide to hit the beach and hole up until the heat dies down ...


EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
A giant WINNEBAGO roars downhill
around the swerving curves
heading west toward the beach.

INT. WINNEBAGO - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Deluxe. The best that money can buy.
Two stories. Two bedrooms.

Plasma screen. Full bar.
Overstuffed furniture.

Hot and cold running pleasure.
On wheels.

Nasty go-go music on the sound system.
Something naughty, saucy by
My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult over --

The gang spread out in style.
Rod’s behind the wheel in a captain’s hat,
stogie clamped in his mouth.

Hondo rides shotgun.
Bopping his head to the music.

Smoking a giant spliff.
Hands it to Rod.

HONDO
Now this is a RIDE.

ROD
(takes a hit)
It’s like driving a fucking BOAT.
Probably gets three miles to the gallon.

Behind them, Cam and Net
twist and shake to the music.

HONDO
(watches the girls, to Rod)
Check it out.
All we need is a pole.

NET
(giggles)
I heard that!

CAM
(sings)
'She’s a hit and run heroine -- '

NET
(glances at the TV)
Shit!
Turn the music down!
Cam’s on TV!

ROD
(turns it down)
What the fuck?

ON THE TV
We see a shot of Cam at the bank,
in disguise. Sneering.

Aiming the can of spray paint
at the camera.

AN ANCHOR BABE
Sits at her news desk.
Faintly smiling into the camera.

ANCHOR BABE (V.O)
Security cameras captured footage
of this woman at the scene of
a robbery earlier today at the
First Fisherman’s Bank of Santa Monica --
and, apparently at another heist
earlier that morning at a nearby 7-11.
Police believe there are
four people in the gang --

Net turns the sound down.

CAM
Holy shit, I’m famous.

NET
You’re infamous, baby.

She goes to the bar.
Refreshes their cocktails.

ROD
(to Hondo)
We made the news already?
That was fast.

HONDO
(sings)
'We’re bad, we’re nationwide -- '

NET
(to Rod)
We need TUNAGE.

ROD
(turns it up, to Hondo)
So how much did we get?

HONDO
Ask Trigger Happy.
She counted it.

NET
(hands drink to Cam)
So did you fuck
that little Mexican dude?

CAM
(takes a gulp)
Are you fucking kidding me?
He was like a father to me.

ROD
(over his shoulder, to Cam)
How much did we get, hot stuff?

CAM
(raises her glass)
Two hundred-twenty-three GRAND.

ROD
Holy shit.
(to Hondo)
What’s the split?

HONDO
I get half.
The three of you divide up the rest.

ROD
That’s -- over thirty thou. Nice.

HONDO
Whattya say we go to the beach
and CELEBRATE?

CAM
I thought we were going up the coast.

HONDO
Change of plan, Hunny-Bunny.
Cops are gonna be all over the highways.
We better lay low for a bit.

NET
LAY-low -- for a BITE.

ROD
I could go for some R-and-R.

CAM
Let’s PARTY HEARTY.

Hondo holds up a bag of white powder.
Evil grin.

HONDO
Who wants gum?

Instant Replay

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of GUN-WILD, robbery/homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls watch the bank security footage and see trust fund heiress Cam Clinch rob the joint with the gang ... and then compare it with footage of the convenience story robbery ... and discover the same woman did both jobs.


INT. FIRST FISHERMAN’S BANK - DA6
It’s a zoo. A swarm of EMS TECHNICIANS.
CRIME SCENE WORKERS. COPS.

Two BODIES are carried out
the back door on gurneys.

BEAT COP
(to junior cop)
Keep the fucking media
OUT OF HERE.

Junior Cop races to the doorway,
where a swarm of REPORTERS
push on the glass, muffled shouting.

IN THE BANK PRESIDENT’S OFFICE
Bobby and Taya stand at his desk.

The BANK PRESIDENT (40),
puffy, pink-faced, sweating profusely,
fidgets in his chair.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
I’m ashamed, so ashamed.

TAYA
It’s human nature.
If you didn’t hide,
you might have been killed.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
I should have DONE something.
Two cops -- and the guard -- are DEAD.

Bobby vibrates with anger. Grief.
It’s all he can do to keep from
smashing this idiot in the face.

BOBBY
Given what went down here,
there’s nothing you could have done.
(ominous)
Take a deep breath.
(anger rising)
There IS something you
can do to help us, though.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
Oh, yes -- anything, anything.

Bobby points to the bank of
small video monitors in
the cabinet across from his desk.

BOBBY
We’d like to see
the surveillance tape.

Puffy leaps out of his seat.
Goes to the VCR.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
Of course, of course.

He PUNCHES a button.
The tape starts rewinding.

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
It’ll just take a sec.

TAYA
(hands him a card)
The department offers free counseling.
In case you -- have a hard time --

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
(takes it)
Th-thanks.

The machine CLICK-CLICKS.
He PUNCHES play.

ON A VIDEO MONITOR
We see Cam.

Disguised in her scarf, cap and shades.
The robbery unfolds.

She PISTOL-WHIPS the guard.
Makes the high school girls
get on the floor.
STOMPS on their cell phones.

Hondo and Net BURST IN.
Point their shotguns, YELLING.

Cam aims the paint can at the camera.
The screen GOES BLACK.

Bobby and Taya exchange looks.

TAYA
There’s three of them.

BOBBY
Four.
Somebody was waiting outside
with the getaway vehicle.

TAYA
Of course. Right.

BOBBY
Let’s watch the other tape.

Taya pulls the videocassette
out of her jacket pocket.
Hands it to Puffy.

TAYA
Would you please?

Puffy ejects the tape.
SHOVES in the new one.
PUNCHES play.

ON THE VIDEO MONITOR
We see Skinny Black Cashier
behind the register.

Cam points her pistol at him.
In the same disguise.

TAYA (O.C.)
It looks like the same woman.

Skinny glances into the camera.
Cam sees him, WHIRLS AROUND, BANG.
The screen GOES BLACK.

BOBBY
I think you’re right.
(to Bank President)
Can we have this?

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
Of course, of course.
(ejects tape, hands it to him)
Anything I can do to help --
law enforcement.

BOBBY
Thanks.
(beat)
I suggest you go home,
try to relax.
Maybe have a stiff belt
of something.

Puffy pulls a flask
out of his jacket pocket --

PUFFY BANK PRESIDENT
Don’t mind if I do.

Takes a long pull.
A grim smile.
Offers it to Taya.

TAYA
Sorry, on duty.

BOBBY
(takes the flask)
Don’t mind if I do --

Insane Clown Pussy

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of GUN-WILD, robbery/homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls head over to the scene of the bank robbery where several officers were killed. Meanwhile, trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and the gang arrive at her parents' Sunset Boulevard mansion to steal an escape vehicle ...


EXT. SEVEN-ELEVEN - PARKING LOT - DAY
Bobby and Taya sit in their unmarked vehicle.
Taya behind the wheel.
The police radio SQUAWKS.

DISPATCHER (O.C.)
All units, 10-108,
officer needs assistance.
First Fisherman’s Bank on Main Street.
Officer down, repeat, officer DOWN.
Another officer critically wounded.
All available units. Officer DOWN.

BOBBY
(grabs receiver)
SHIT.
(into the mike)
This is unit 2-Felix 13.
We’re on our way.

DISPATCHER (O.C.)
Copy that.

He clicks it off.
Looks at Taya.

BOBBY
STEP ON IT.

She PUNCHES the gas, and they
SCREECH OUT of the parking lot.

TAYA
Fucking animals.

BOBBY
Goddammit TO HELL.

AT THE CORNER
Their car SIDESWIPES
a woman on a bicycle
with a dozen BAGS OF GROCERIES
on the handlebars.

The bike and the woman HIT the pavement.
Food goes FLYING.

IN THE CAR

TAYA
Ohmigod. Holy shit. Ohmigod.
(HITS the brakes)
Holy shit. Holy fuck.

BOBBY
(looks)
It’s alright. She’s okay.
Move it, move it, MOVE IT.

TAYA
But we’re leaving the scene of a --

BOBBY
I said MOVE IT!

Taya PUNCHES the gas.

TAYA
But that woman --

He SLAPS a red dome light on the roof.
FLICKS on THE SIREN.

BOBBY
We’ve got TWO OFFICERS DOWN.
Cop’s gotta have PRIORITIES.
Make difficult choices in A SPLIT SECOND.

TAYA
I’m going to hell for this.

BOBBY
We’re already there, detective.

EXT. BEVERLY HILLS - SUNSET BOULEVARD - DAY
Giant mansions behind huge gates and stone walls.

INT. FORD FAIRLANE - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Rod’s behind the wheel
of late model Ford Fairlane.

Cam rides shotgun.
Hondo and Net sit in the back sipping beers.

NET
Shit. Look at THAT ONE.

CAM
It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood.
(beat)
Not.

ROD
You GREW UP here?

CAM
More like did time.

NET
Baby went Patty Hearst on ‘em.

Cam turns around.
Points her gun at Net.

CAM
Gun-CRAZY.
TRIGGER-HAPPY.
Insane CLOWN PUSSY.

NET
(giggles, slaps it away)
Put that down!
(beat)
You’re kinda hot when you do that.

HONDO
Ladies, get a room.
(to himself)
We’ve created a monster.
(to Rod)
And what’s with you
and the vintage wheels?
This ride BLOWS CHUNKS.

ROD
They’re easier to hot-wire.
And if you can find one
with expired tags,
people think it was towed.
Gives you more time.

CAM
Here.
Turn left.

Rod turns left,
pulls into a driveway.
Stops at the gate.

Cam leans out the window.
Presses the call box.

NET
Look at that fucking GATE.

CAM
(into the speaker)
Raoul? It’s Cammy.
Surprise, surprise.

RAOUL (O.C.)
(Mexican accent)
Cammy? Is that you?
What you doing?
You come home?

CAM
Just for a quick visit.
I need to ask a favor.

RAOUL (O.C.)
My little Cammy.
You come when family
is out of town.
Clever girl.

CAM
See you in a sec.

The gate slowly SWINGS OPEN.

ROD
This is like Sunset Boulevard.

CAM
This IS Sunset Boulevard, baby.

Rod hits the gas,
and they start down the long driveway.

This Ain't Compton

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of GUN-WILD, plainclothes detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls interview the cashier at the convenience store trust fund heiress Cam Clinch robbed early that day. Meanwhile, Cam and the gang, having made their getaway from the bank job, need to ditch their wheels and find a place to hole up until the heat dies down ...


INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - AT THAT MOMENT
Two PLAINCLOTHES ROBBERY/HOMICIDE COPS
interview Skinny Black Cashier
at the scene of the crime.

A TECH CREW is finishing up their work,
packing up their stuff to go.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
She was wearing a baseball cap,
scarf up over her nose and shades.
But I told the other cops after it happened.
I don’t see how --

PLAINCLOTHES COP
ZIP IT.
I like to conduct my OWN interviews.
Sometimes the beat cops miss something.

Meet BOBBY TEEN (45),
Detective Sergeant, Robbery Homicide.

Face like a potato.
Bit of a belly.

Once spit-and-polish,
now a bit soft from working the posh beat.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
But it was a small job.
She only got a couple hundred bucks.

PLAINCLOTHES FEMALE COP
That might be.
But the chief doesn’t like it
when perps start shooting up local businesses.
In case you haven’t noticed,
this ain’t Compton.

Meet TAYA RALLS (27),
African-American gazelle.

Tall and lean.
Freshly-minted Detective.

Think Rosario Dawson, with an attitude.
Chip on her shoulder the size of City Hall.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
What the fuck is THAT supposed to mean?

BOBBY
Watch your language.
We’d like to see the surveillance tape.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
But I told you, man --
she shot up the camera.

BOBBY
But she was taped BEFORE
she shot it up, right?

Pause.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
Uh -- yeah.

BOBBY
See what I mean about
conducting my own interviews?

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
I’ll go get the tape.

He goes into the rear of the store.

TAYA
You really think there’ll be anything?

BOBBY
It’s our job to leave no stone interned.
(beat)
You can write that down if you want.

TAYA
Isn’t that 'unturned?'

BOBBY
Ooh.
Big college girl.
Shut the fuck up.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Rod turns north up a steep hill.
Starts to slow down.

HONDO
Why are you slowing down?

ROD
This car sticks out
like a sore fucking thumb.
We gotta find new wheels, pronto.

HONDO
(to Cam)
And what THE FUCK was that back there?
I told you NO FUCKING SHOOTING.

CAM
He wouldn’t listen.

HONDO
Fucking COPS?
You might have KILLED one of them.
You know what happens THEN?
We’re MARKED FOR LIFE.

CAM
So fucking what.
I’m already marked.

Rod and Cam exchange looks.
Strange smiles.

HONDO
This isn’t FUNNY.
(SMACKS Cam on the head)
And THE FUCKING GUARD.

CAM
OW!

HONDO
You didn’t make the fucking
GUARD lock the DOOR!

CAM
You said he was gonna be an OLD FART.
He was built like a MARINE.
He was gonna jump me.
I had to CLOCK HIM.
(beat)
There was no TIME.

HONDO
Shit. Fuck.
(beat)
Shit.

ROD
We got the money, didn’t we?

HONDO
Yeah, but --

ROD
So we’ll hole up somewhere
and figure out our next move.

NET
Oooh.
I like the sound of 'holing up.'

HONDO
We gotta find a motel.

CAM
Are you kidding?
A cheap motel is the first place
they’re gonna look for us.
(beat)
Whattya say we snatch an
RV and go up north?

NET
Go -- camping?

ROD
You mean -- like a motor home?

CAM
Yeah.
And I know where we can get one.

HONDO
Oh, yeah? Where?

CAM
My father.
(beat)
Easy pickings.
Bastard’s out of the country --
in Switzerland.

Hondo pulls out a joint.
Lights it.
Takes a big hit.

Squints at her.
Still pissed off.

HONDO
Yo-de-lay-he-fucking-HOO.

Sit On My Facebook

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of GUN-WILD, trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and the gang knock off the First Fisherman's Bank on Main Street in Santa Monica, but when the cops show up, things get a little ... tricky.


INT. FIRST FISHERMAN'S BANK - DAY
Cam BANGS open the front door.
Points her shotgun at the SECURITY GUARD (30),
a young, virile-looking hunk.

What the hell?
This ain’t no ‘old fart.’

CAM
Shit.

GUARD
(sees the gun)
HEY!

Cam PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He hits the ground.

TWO HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS
Scream.
FREEZE in their tracks.
Whimpering.

CAM
HANDS IN THE AIR.
This is a ROBBERY.

HONDO AND NET
BURST in the door.

Sawed-off shotguns aloft.
KA-CHINK, KA-CHINK.

HONDO
Nobody FUCKING MOVE!

A TELLER
An OLDER WOMAN (60) --
stares, open-mouthed. FAINTS.
Hits the floor, THWUMP.

THE OTHER TELLER
An ATTRACTIVE SOCCER MOM (40) --
SHOOTS her hands in the air.

HER FOOT
Presses a button on the floor.
Hitting the silent alarm.

CAM
Pulls out a can of paint.
SPRAYS the security camera.

THE GUARD
Gets up slowly, holding his head.
Reaches for his gun.

GUARD
Fucking -- bitch.

CAM
Sees him. Points the can.
SPRAYS his face black.

He puts his hands over his eyes.
SCREAMS in pain.

GUARD
My EYES, my EYES.

She WHIPS AROUND.
Sees the high school girls.
SHOVES her gun in their terrified faces.

CAM
On THE GROUND, NOW.

The girls stare, paralyzed with fear.

CAM
I said GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!

They HIT THE FLOOR.
Hugging each other. Crying.

CAM
Gimme your CELL PHONES.

SCARED SHITLESS CHICK
But -- my I-phone --

CAM
DO IT! NOW!

The girls TOSS them.
Cam STOMPS on the I-phone. CRUNCH.

CAM
Sit on my FACEBOOK.

Then CRACKS her boot on the BlackBerry.

CAM
Twitter-twitter, little WHORE.

HONDO AND NET
SHOVE their shotguns in Soccer Mom’s face.
Net THROWS a gym bag on the counter.

HONDO
Empty the drawer into the bag.

SOCCER MOM
Okay, okay, okay --

She starts shoving cash in the bag.

HONDO
Now the other drawer.
You cooperate, and no one’s gonna get hurt.

Soccer hesitates, scared shitless.

NET
DO IT, NOW!
Or I’ll blow your fucking HEAD OFF.

She opens the drawer, pulls out cash,
stuffs it in the bag.

HONDO
Now THE VAULT.

Soccer turns and looks at the vault.
The stacks of cash.

Net SHOVES her shotgun
against Soccer’s temple.

NET
Are you RETARDED?
Empty the FUCKING VAULT.

Soccer’s face turns RED.
Having a seizure.

Falls to the floor, twitching,
grabbing her throat.
Tongue lolling out.

SOCCER MOM
GAAAAA --

HONDO
Goddammit.
(GRABS the bag)
You want anything done,
you gotta do it YOURSELF.

Hondo goes the vault.
Starts shoving in banded wads of cash.

THE GUARD
GRAPPLES Cam around the waist.
Grasping for her gun.

Cam CRACKS him in the head
with the barrel.
He REELS backwards.

CAM
On the FLOOR, NOW --
or I’ll BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF.

THE GUARD
Pulls out his gun.

Starts moving in the direction of her voice.
Blindly waving it toward her.

She SHOOTS HIM in the head -- BANG.
It EXPLODES in a red mist.

He HITS the floor.
A pool of blood starts growing.

CAM
I hate it when they don’t listen.

HONDO
(looks)
What THE FUCK?

CAM
He wouldn’t listen.

A siren WHOOP-WHOOPS outside.

NET
THE COPS.

Hondo looks at his watch.
Two minutes. GRABS the bag.

HONDO
Let’s MOVE IT.

He races toward the back door.
Net follows him. Then Cam.

HONDO
(pushes it)
It’s FUCKING LOCKED.

Cam raises her gun.
BLASTS the door off its hinges. BANG.

CAM
Now it’s NOT.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
POLICE! DON’T MOVE!

They turn. Look.
A pair of SANTA MONICA COPS
stand in the doorway.
Guns pointed at them.

HONDO
(to Cam)
You didn’t LOCK THE DOOR.

CAM
Shit.

ANGRY COP
DROP YOUR GUNS! NOW!

CAM
Go FUCK YOURSELF!

She SHOOTS the cop.
He FLIES BACKWARD.

Shoots at the ceiling.
The SECOND COP fires at Cam.
She DUCKS. FIRES. BANG. BANG.

Blows a hole in his belly.
He SCREAMS in pain.
Hondo GRABS Cam’s hand.

HONDO
COME ON!

Races out the door, pulling her.
Net follows them into --

THE REAR ALLEY
Where Rod is parked in the Olds,
engine idling. Doors open.

Hondo THROWS the bag
onto the rear seats.
Jumps in front.

Cam and Net pile in after him,
get in the back.
SLAM the doors.

A COP runs into the back alley.
Aims his gun at them.

COP
STOP, POLICE!

Rod pulls out his Sig Sauer,
SQUEEZES of a few rounds --
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG.
The cop crumples to the ground.

ROD
Lock and load, MOTHERFUCKER.

STOMPS on the gas,
and they PEEL OUT in a SCREECH of rubber --

Book 'Em, Danno

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of GUN-WILD, renegade trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and the gang arrive at the First Fisherman's Bank on Main Street in Santa Monica, BURST through the doors and start robbing the joint ...


EXT. FIRST FISHERMAN’S BANK - NOON
A small-town plain brick building
on a Main Street corner.
Rod’s Olds pulls up to the curb in front.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS
On the car stereo,
the Ventures’ HAWAII FIVE-O.

Hondo leans over,
CLICKS it off.

NET
Hey! I LIKE that song.

HONDO
This ain’t no TV show.
This is serious shit, girlie.
We’re jacking a fucking BANK.

CAM
That was from a TV show?

ROD
You don’t remember HAWAII FIVE-O?
Jack Lord? Book ‘em, Danno?

CAM
Hawaii-what-o?
Book ‘em who-o?

ROD
I’m getting old.

HONDO
ENOUGH ALREADY.
Who the fuck you think you are, Tarantino?
(SLAPS the seat)
Go check the bank window, Gidget.

Cam opens her door.
Gets out. SLAMS it.

CAM
Stop calling me GIDGET.
My name is CAM.

NET
(imitates her)
'Stop calling me Gidget.
My name is CAM.'

She drains her beer. BURPS.

HONDO
Excuse me, CAM.
PLEASE go check and see
how many customers are in the bank,
PRETTY PLEASE?

CAM
That’s better.

Cam storms over to the bank entrance.

HONDO
Jesus fucking Christ on a stick,
what’s got her panties in a bind?

ROD
She told me her story last night.
She’s a runaway
from a mental institution.
Daddy locked her up.
It’s -- fucked up.

HONDO
(big smile)
Don’t tell me --
her daddy diddled her?

ROD
Worse.

HONDO
Now THAT’S my kinda girl.

NET
(PUNCHES him in the arm)
SHUT UP.

Hondo stares at her.

HONDO
You mean -- ?

NET
I said SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(beat)
Asshole.

HONDO
Jeez. Touchy --

EXT. BANK ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS
Cam goes to the window.
Peers inside. Turns around.

Comes back to the car.
Leans over the side. Whispers.

CAM
Only a couple people.
Two Juicy Couture high school bitches
sucking machiattas.

HONDO
Piece of cake.
Places please, kids.
It’s show-time.

Hondo and Net slide on
baseball caps. Shades.

Tie scarves around their necks.
Pile out of the car.

HONDO
(to Rod)
See you in the obituaries.

Rod salutes. Drives off.

Hondo and Net walk over to Cam.
Pull their scarves over their noses.
WHIP OUT their guns.

HONDO
Let’s do it.

CAM
BANGS open the front door.

INSIDE THE BANK
She points her shotgun at the
SECURITY GUARD (30),
a young, virile-looking hunk.

What the hell?
This ain’t no ‘old fart.’

CAM
Shit.

GUARD
(sees the gun)
HEY!

Cam PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He hits the ground.

THE HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS
Scream.

FREEZE in their tracks.
Whimpering.

CAM
HANDS IN THE AIR.
This is a ROBBERY.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

Happy Thursdsay, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of GUN-WILD, after successfully robbing the convenience store, trust fund heiress Cam Clinch is now part of the gang, who now starts planning their next job ... taking down a bank.


INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - MOVING - DAY
Hondo BANGS on the back of Cam's seat.

HONDO
She did it! She DID IT!
You did it, baby-doll.

NET
HA. Gidget grows up.

ROD
(shit-eating grin)
How do you feel?

Cam beams with million-dollar wattage.
Eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

CAM
Happiness is a WARM GUN.

EXT. SANTA MONICA PIER - PARKING LOT - DAY
A large, empty lot adjacent to the pier at the beach.
The Olds is parked near the sand.
Surf guitar on the stereo.

Hondo sits on the back of the car,
legs dangling onto the rear seats.

Net snuggles next to him.
They drain cans of beer.
SMASH the empties on their foreheads.

HONDO
(sings)
When the sun goes down,
and the moon comes up --

NET
I turn into a teenage GOO-GOO MUCK.

Rod and Cam walk up the car.
Pant legs rolled up, barefoot.

CAM
Water’s WARM.

ROD
(grabs her, tickles her)
Gidget goes SURFING.

CAM
(laughing)
Stop calling me GIDGET.

Hondo leans down,
GRABS a six-pack.
Tears off a beer.

HONDO
Play-time is over, kiddies.
We got work to do.

He TOSSES the can.
Rod CATCHES it.

CAM
Me, too -- gimmee, gimmee.

Hondo CRACKS off another one.
Tosses it. HARD. She GRABS it.

CAM
OW.

HONDO
Look who’s getting all
self-confident and shit.
(beat)
Okay, sports fans, listen up.

He jumps out of the car.
Pulls out a piece of graph paper
out of his jacket.

Unfolds it.
Lays it down on the hood.
Everyone gathers around.

HONDO
(points)
Okay.
Here’s the window
where the two tellers are.
(points)
And there in the corner is the vault.
It’s ALWAYS open during business hours.

NET
Stupid hillbillies.

CAM
Santa Monica’s no hillbilly town.
We’re talking rich, Benz-driving,
Starbucks-swilling,
yoga class assholes.

HONDO
Shut up and listen.
Enough from the peanut gallery.
(points)
Here’s where the security camera is.
Right above the front door.
After we walk in,
Cam’s gonna spray-paint it.

CAM
Got it.

HONDO
(to Cam)
Here’s how it’s gonna work.
You go in first and get the guard.

CAM
GET the guard?

HONDO
Don’t worry.
He’s an old fart.
Just waive your gun in his face
and he’ll piss his pants.

CAM
Okay.

HONDO
Then yell out NOBODY MOVE,
THIS IS A ROBBERY --
and then Net and I
come in with our shotguns.
Then spray-paint the camera
and make the guard
lock the door behind us.

CAM
I’m on it.

HONDO
Then Net and I will do our thing
and clean the fucking place out.
(beat)
Now here’s the best part.
The place is always fucking dead.
Cam here will hang around a bit in front
and check real casual-like
to see who’s in there.
When it’s empty, we go in.

ROD
That’s fuckin’ brilliant.

HONDO
I know.

NET
That’s my lil’ bank robber.

HONDO
I love you too, honey-bunny.
(to Rod)
Now what I need you to do, Rod,
is drive around to the rear alley,
and wait for us near the back entrance.

ROD
The bank has a BACK ENTRANCE?

HONDO
Yeah.
Told you it was podunk shit.
Fucking teller takes her
SMOKE BREAK out there.
I seen her.

ROD
You’ve really thought this out.

HONDO
Learned it in the joint.
Gotta plan the shit out of it.
That makes for a successful job.
No one gets hurt,
and we get a big pile-a dough.

Everyone nods.

HONDO
One last thing.
We gotta do it FAST,
cause these local cops GET THERE fast.
Cop shop’s only a mile away.
Minor drawback, but if we’re
real quick-like, we’ll manage it.
(holds up his watch)
Everyone synch up.
Its now 10:36.
When we get to the bank,
everyone look at the time.
We got two minutes to finish the job --
but if we’re not done in two minutes,
we gotta split.
(beat)
Got it?

NET
Whatever.

Hondo pulls out a joint.
Fires it up.

Takes a big hit. EXHALES.
Passes it to Rod.

HONDO
So who feels like
gettin’ some cotton candy?

Let's Blow This Joint

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of GUN-WILD, it's the mother of all heists when renegade trust fund heiress Cam Clinch robs a 7-11 at gunpoint and gets a little trigger-happy ...


INT. SEVEN-ELEVEN - DAY
Cam BANGS into the store.
STOMPS over to the counter.

JAMS her gun in the CASHIER’S face.
THROWS a bag at him, SLAP.

CAM
Gimme what’s in the register,
NOW, MOTHERFUCKER!

The cashier, a young, skinny black kid (20)
SHOOTS his hands in the air.

Vibrates in place.
Eyes wide as saucers.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
Don’t SHOOT, don’t SHOOT.

CAM
The MONEY, NOW!

Confused, scared, the kid
BANGS open the cash register.
Starts stuffing bills into the bag.

CAM
MOVE IT, MOVE IT! FASTER!

The kid empties the drawer.
Hands Cam the bag.

His eyes travel
to the security camera.

CAM
What the fuck are YOU looking it?

She WHIRLS around.
Sees the CAMERA.
Shoots it, BANG.

It EXPLODES in a million pieces.
The clerk SCREAMS.

OUTSIDE IN THE CAR

HONDO
(smiles)
Someone just popped her cherry.

IN THE STORE
Cam WHIRLS back around.
SHOVES her gun in the clerk’s face.

CAM
Now OPEN THE SAFE.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
I don’t -- have the key.

CAM
BULL-SHIT!

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
Lady, I swear --
I don’t know the combination.
I don’t, I SWEAR.

CAM
Oh YEAH?

Cam raises the gun.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
I SWEAR.

She aims at the beer cooler
and FIRES, BANG, BANG, BANG.

The glass case EXPLODES.
Broken glass goes FLYING.

CAM
Now open the safe, motherfucker,
before I BLOW your fucking HEAD OFF.

IN THE PARKING LOT
Rod peers at the door,
tries to see what’s going on.

ROD
What the fuck is going on in there?

HONDO
I dunno. Moment of truth?

IN THE STORE
Cam points the gun
at the kid’s forehead.

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
(eyes full of tears)
I swear, lady --
I c-can’t open the safe.
Please don’t kill me. Please.

CAM
I’m gonna count to THREE.
And then I’m gonna blow your
FUCKING HEAD OFF.
(beat)
ONE --

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
Lady, PLEASE.

CAM
TWO --

SKINNY BLACK CASHIER
I DON’T KNOW!

His bowels EXPLODE
in a massive ERUPTION -- PHHHTWHAAAT.

CAM
(wrinkles her nose)
SHIT.

She WHIRLS AROUND,
and starts SHOOTING up the place.

The kid DIVES for the floor,
writhing and crying hysterically.

BANG. A milk carton EXPLODES.
BANG. A carton of eggs
SPRAYS in a yellow mist.

BANG. The coffee machine
EXPLODES in a geyser of brown.
BANG. Potato chips go FLYING.

Cam stops shooting. Shaking. Vibrating.
She GRABS the bag of money.

Looks around, maniacal, on fire.
Sees a display of TWIZZLERS.

Grabs a handful.
STORMS out the door.

IN THE PARKING LOT
Cam RUNS to the car.
Grinning wildly like an animal.

Something’s changed.
Her face is alive.
Full of fire.

She opens the door.
TOSSES the bag of money to Rod.
FLINGS the Twizzlers at Hondo.

CAM
Brought you a little snack.

Jumps in.
SLAMS the door.

CAM
(looks at Rod, wild grin)
Let’s BLOW this joint, hot stuff.

Make Us Proud, Gidget

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of GUN-WILD, the shit is about to hit the fan when renegade trust fund heiress Cam Clinch and her merry band of heisters pull in the 7-11 parking lot, which she's about to rob as her 'audition' to join the gang ...


EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY - DAY
A monster ‘68 Oldsmobile convertible,
white with black interior
ROARS down the coast highway.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
On the car stereo,
X’s JOHNNY HIT AND RUN PAULINE.

Rod’s behind the wheel.
Cam rides shotgun.

Hondo and Net sit in
the back seat, like royalty.
Everyone’s eating burgers.

HONDO
Nice wheels.
Not too inconspicuous.

ROD
Used car lot was closed.
Owner’s on vacation.
We’ll ditch it after the job.

NET
Who wants fries?

Net THROWS her pack of fries
into the air.

They FLY all over everyone.
She erupts into MAD LAUGHTER.

NET
Want some KETCHUP WITH THAT?

Hondo SMACKS her on the head.

HONDO
What the fuck you do that for?
You’re wasting GOOD FOOD.

NET
OW. Fuck-head.

Cam shoots Rod a look.
Rolls her eyes.
He shrugs.

ROD
Young love.
Whattaya gonna do?

EXT. MINI-MALL - PARKING LOT - DAY
The dregs. A 7-11. Check cashing.
Nasty chicken joint.

Dingy dry cleaners.
Tiny, boarded-up KEYS MADE kiosk.

The Olds SCREECHES
into the tiny parking lot.

The joint is deserted
early on a Sunday morning.
A VW BUG sits idling.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS
Rod shuts off the engine.
Looks at Cam.

She pulls her hair in a ponytail.
Slides on a baseball cap.
Ray-ban shades.

ROD
Ready, doll?

Cam pulls out her piece.
Fingers it.

CAM
Ready as I’ll ever be.

HONDO
Just remember, no matter what
the fucking sign says,
the Slurpee dot-head
curry-motherfucker
can open the safe.
Got it?

CAM
Got it.

ROD
If someone shows up,
or if there’s any trouble,
I’ll honk the horn three times.

CAM
Okay.

ROD
Nervous?

CAM
I’m gonna piss
my fucking pants.

NET
Nice, isn’t it?

HONDO
Makes you feel ALIVE.
(SLAPS her seat)
Go on. Make us proud, Gidget.

Hondo leans over.
Kisses her.

ROD
For luck.

NET
Awww, isn’t that sweet.

Cam shoot her a look.
Opens the door.
Gets out.

HONDO
Get me a pack of Twizzlers, huh?

She nods.
Heads toward the door.
Rod turns, looks at Hondo.

ROD
What if he CAN’T
open the safe?

HONDO
Guess we’ll find out,
won’t we --