Friday, May 17, 2013
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 5 of B-GIRLS, retired spy Jack Broad trains the girls to prepare for their mission, and then introduces them to Smith, his right-hand, who briefs them on how they are going to take down the assassin that killed tech billionaire Randy Mandletort ...
EXT. JACK’S HOUSE - BACK YARD - DAY
Jack wears a sharp running suit.
A whistle on a cord around his neck.
Holds a clipboard.
Looks at the girls,
now wearing workout clothes.
Ladies, start your engines.
he watches the girls climb ropes.
RUN in a circle around the yard.
FIRE guns at targets.
Practice FIGHT MOVES.
RUN some more.
RUN even more.
INT. JACK’S HOUSE - STUDY/COMMAND CENTER - DAY
Jack stands next to a SURFER DUDE (20’s)
sitting behind a massive
computer work station
with a dozen screens.
The girls sit nearby,
towels around their necks, exhausted.
This is Smith, my right arm.
Computer genius, internet warrior,
and hacker extraordinaire.
I thought you were retired.
My dear, just because I
never leave the house
doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know
what’s going on in the world.
How come you never leave the house?
Fourteen different nations
have a price on his head.
That’s why I’ve got Smith here.
He’s provided me with
a cloak of invisibility.
I’ve jammed all heat-seeking tracking,
spy satellite monitoring --
and his web presence.
This house is,
as Stephen King would say,
a ‘dead zone.’
Meet SMITH, tan, buff,
with a tousled mane of blonde hair
Jeff Spicoli would be jealous of.
And dig the Warhol T-shirt.
Can’t leave home without it.
What have you found out?
Turns out Randy Mandletort
stole the matrix for Friendbook
from his college roomate Long Kim,
who is now the leader of a group
of hacker-terrorists known as ‘Phantom.’
Why didn’t he just hack into Friendbook?
A trojan worm is set to infect it
around the world in a matter of hours.
What am I gonna do without Friendbook?
Fear not, my pneumatic one.
I’m sure Smith has a solution.
I’ve written a code that’ll stop it --
which you’ll enter into his computer.
Wait a minute.
You mean to tell me
we’ve got to take Long Kim down,
AND save Friendbook --
all by ourselves?
Seize the day.
I hate fish.