Dirty Deeds, Done Skirt Cheap

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In Chapter 37 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, at the prom, the popular kids plot their revenge on the invisible Bettie Bee. Meanwhile, Bettie's science professor father Bernard huddles with Nobel Prize laureate Fleming Perkins monitor the action from the sidelines ...


INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM - STAGE - NIGHT
A Flock of Haircuts plays Alison Moyet’s INVISIBLE.

HOT CHICK KEYBOARD PLAYER
(sings)
Invisible, you treat me like I’m invisible --

NEAR THE PUNCH TABLE
Tila and Ronnie sip from plastic cups.
Ronnie makes a face.

RONNIE
I can barely TASTE it.
How am I supposed to get fuck-faced?

TILA
It’s vodka, Little Miss Fun-Time --
you’re not supposed to taste it.
And it’s 'shit-faced.'

RONNIE
You’ve never seen ME get drunk.

Emerald walks up to them.

EMERALD
Hey there, girlies.
I can’t find Muffin.
Will you tell her we’re all set?

They smile. Nod.

TILA
Dirty deeds, done skirt cheap.

RONNIE
Let there be wood.

EMERALD
This little piggy’s gonna
ride the crimson tsunami
right into our clutches.

TILA
(raises her cup)
It’s a slutty job,
but someone’s gotta screw it.

RONNIE
(raises hers)
The few. The proud. The shaved.

Emerald grabs a cup of punch. Raises it.

EMERALD
To protect and swerve.

And they DOWN THEM.

EMERALD
See you at the apocalypse --

Then heads off to her position.

IN THE PARKING LOT
Bernard and Fleming
stand near an ambulance.

Bernard fingers a number
on his cell phone. Listens.

BERNARD
Officer Diamond?
It’s professor Bee.
We’re here outside --
(listens)
Okay, thanks.
(hangs up, to Fleming)
They’re inside watching for her.

FLEMING
(nods)
Let the games begin.

They both gaze wistfully at the gym,
listening to the music.

BERNARD
Didn’t go to my prom --

He looks at Fleming inquisitively.
Raises an eyebrow.

FLEMING
You’re kidding, right?
In this fucking wheelchair?