A Flock Of Haircuts

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 36 of THE INVISIBLE GIRL, at the prom, the popular kids start preparing to get their revenge. Meanwhile, chaperones Hart Klavan and Lane Diamond secretly spike the punch ...


EXT. VENISON HIGH GYM - NIGHT
Prom Night. We see a big banner
on the side of the gym that reads
A NIGHT TO DISMEMBER
in big, glittery lettering.

A line of LIMOS is parked in front.
Eager, excited GUYS IN TUXES and
GIRLS IN GOWNS spill out onto the sidewalk.
Walking in pairs toward the entrance.

INT. VENISON HIGH GYM - NIGHT
The joint’s been decorated
within an inch of it’s life
in some over-the-top party explosion.

Scores of glittering silver
stars hang down from the rafters.

A big DISCO BALL spins around and around,
sending shards of bright light
flying around the room.

On the stage is A Flock Of Haircuts,
a group of slightly older kids
dressed in exaggerated eighties drag.

Right now they’re doing a decent cover
of Oingo Boingo’s DEAD MAN’S PARTY.

The LEAD SINGER (late 20’s)
waves his arms like a banshee.
Acting out some imaginary music video.

The joint is packed.
Kids are dancing, having fun.

They finish the song. Everyone CLAPS.
The HOT CHICK KEYBOARD PLAYER
(late 20’s) leans into the mike.

HOT CHICK KEYBOARD PLAYER
HEY. Anybody wanna do some DREAMING?
(beat)
Dreaming is free --

They start playing the Blondie song.
The crowd ERUPTS, starts
dancing their asses off.

UP IN THE RAFTERS
Brad and Emerald look inside a bucket
sitting on a beam tied to a rope
leading down to the stage.

EMERALD
It’s what they use in the movies.
I couldn’t get pig’s blood.
(off his look)
Venison doesn’t HAVE a slaughterhouse --

BRAD
It’ll work. Nobody will be
able to tell the difference.

He points at a net piled up
next to the bucket.

BRAD
What about the net?

EMERALD
It comes down at the same time.

BRAD
Perfect. Gonna catch us
some invisible bitch.
(eyes her)
So, listen.
Muffin’s still mad at me.
What are you doing afterwards?

EMERALD
In your dreams, jock-strap.
You’ll never know MY splendor.

OUTSIDE BEHIND THE GYM
Bert and Whit smoke a joint.
Both of them dateless.

BERT
(passes it)
This is good shit. Hydro?

WHIT
(takes it)
Nah. From the ground. Much better.
More full-bodied. Cleaner high. Lasts longer.

BERT
(nods)
Gimme a shotgun?

WHIT
Sure --

He puts the joint
in his mouth backwards.
Leans in close.

Blows a stream of smoke
into Bert’s mouth.

He sucks it in. They lock eyes.
Whit takes the joint out. Kisses him.

Bert starts COUGHING.
Whit pulls away. Freaked.

WHIT
I’m sorry, man. Just fucking with ya.

BERT
(low, throaty)
Come here --

He leans in. Starts kissing him.

IN A DARK CORNER
Stand Lane and Hart, looking
out of place in formal wear.
Lane takes a sip of punch. Smiles.

HART
They spike it?

LANE
A little bit.

Hart pulls a flask out of his pocket.
Pours some in her cup.

HART
Now it’s a lotta bit --