Slam Dunk

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 27 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein takes his reanimated dead cheerleader girlfriend Shayla Petrie on their first date ... to Ohio Burger Kitchen, but when he gets a call from his BFF/co-conspirator Josh Bohner saying he's going to the cops and confess, he has to spring into action ...


INT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - DAY
One of those low-rent
suburban chain restaurants.
Rows of red vinyl booths.

Mostly dead at this hour on a weekday,
but there’s still a sprinkling
of the low-end of humanity.

A HOMELESS MAN nurses a cup of coffee.
A RETIREE reads the paper at the counter.
Picks at his tuna melt.

And in a booth way in the back
sits Frankie and Shayla, studying menus.

SHAYLA
Around -- The World?

FRANKIE
All the meals have cute names like that.
It’s a bacon cheeseburger with fries
AND onion rings.

SHAYLA
Cheese-burger --

FRANKIE
I think I’m gonna have the Slam Dunk.

SHAYLA
Slam -- Dunk?

FRANKIE
It’s a bacon cheeseburger with
chili, avocado and pineapple,
served on a bed of home fries.

Shayla looks at her menu.
Eyes getting a little glassy.

SHAYLA
Can’t -- see so good.

She opens her mouth -- and
VOMITS all over the table.

FRANKIE
SHIT.

SHAYLA
Don’t -- feel good.

A CHUBBY WAITRESS (40’s) wearing
a too-tight polyester uniform
appears holding a coffee pot.

CHUBBY WAITRESS
Not feeling so hot, honey?

SHAYLA
I’m -- sorry.

CHUBBY WAITRESS
(over her shoulder)
PACO.
We got an up-chuck at table twelve -
(smiles)
Don’t worry, we’ll get ya all cleaned up.
Do ya know what ya wanna have?

SHAYLA
Not -- hungry.

FRANKIE
I’ll have the Slam Dunk,
and please bring her a glass of water.
She’ll decide later.

Chubby nods, walks away.

CHUBBY
Cluck-clucks to herself.

CHUBBY WAITRESS
Another pregnant junkie.
Skin’s turning BLUE, and
she smells like something DIED.

FRANKIE AND SHAYLA
Look at each other.
An awkward silence.

FRANKIE
Are you okay?

SHAYLA
Feel -- cold.

Frankie’s phone RINGS.

FRANKIE
Hold on a sec.
(answers it)
Hello?

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - DAY
Josh sits on his bike on his cell
looking in the window.

JOSH
I’m here, but I’m not coming in.
I can SEE her, Frankie.
Get your ass out here.

FRANKIE
Be there in sec.

JOSH
Hurry up.
I'm on my way to
the police station.

They hang up.
Frankie looks at Shayla.

FRANKIE
I have to go talk to a friend
for a minute outside.
Why don’t you go to the ladies’ room
and freshen up a bit?

SHAYLA
Freshen -- up?

FRANKIE
Yeah. I’m sorry.
It’s really important.
It’ll be real quick, I promise.

He gets up and hurries toward the door.

PACO (18) a tall, skinny
Mexican kid arrives.

Starts cleaning up the mess.
Keeps sneaking a peak at Shayla.

Wrinkles his nose. Shayla
stares off into space. Gets up.

SHAYLA
Freshen -- up.

And starts shuffling off to the back.