A Tough Nut

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, CDC agent Beck Driver and local cop Chet Beverage visit science genius nerd Frankie Stein's house to investigate his basement lab. Meanwhile, Frankie hides all his scientific equipment ...

EXT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - DAY
Chet and Beck stand on the front stoop.
Chet RINGS the bell.

BECK
Nobody’s home.
Let’s come back later.

CHET
Hold on a sec.
Maybe she’s taking a shit.

BECK
That’s disgusting.

CHET
Haven’t you ever been
uncoiling a sidewinder
and the doorbell rang?

BECK
First of all, I’m a petite flower.
I don’t 'uncoil side-winders.'

CHET
Well, excuse me, big-city gal.
I guess your shit doesn’t stink.

BECK
You got THAT right.

He RINGS the bell again.

CHET
I know what your problem is.

BECK
Oh, really --

CHET
You need to get laid.

BECK
Fuck off.

CHET
Look.
Your cheeks are turning red.
I’m RIGHT.

BECK
(points at his belly)
Time to make the donuts --

CHET
Hey.
No need to be nasty.

BECK
You can dish it out,
but you can’t take it, huh?
Small-town HICK.

Pause.

CHET
I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have --
(low)
It’s, uh -- been awhile
for me, too.
Kinda -- frustrated.

They stare at each other.

BECK
(low)
Sucks, huh --

CHET
Whattaya say we
get some coffee
and come back later.
My treat.

BECK
That would -- be nice.

They start walking back
to the car.

CHET
You’re not such a tough nut
after all.

BECK
Tell anyone, and I’ll
fucking kill you --

INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - DAY
The electronic equipment
near the workbench is gone.

In it’s place
is a gerbil in a cage.

A child’s chemistry set. Microscope.
An X-box and a stack of videogames.

FRANKIE
My god, how dull.
(sighs)
Should work.

He SNAPS a padlock shut
on a big cabinet.

Shuts off the lights.
Goes to the stairs.