Hill Street Blues

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In Chapter 25 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, CDC agent Beck Driver and patrolman Chet Beverage convince science genius nerd Frankie Stein's mother to let them search his basement laboratory. Meanwhile, Frankie and his reanimated dead cheerleader 'girlfriend' Shayla go on their 'first date,' but Frankie starts to freak out when she starts remembering who she was ...


INT. PATROL CAR - DAY
Chet and Beck sit in the patrol car
sipping coffee. Watching Frankie’s house.

CHET
So how long have been
into infectious diseases?

BECK
One day when I was a little kid
I saw The Andromeda Strain on TV.
Changed my life. The idea that a virus
could wipe out the entire planet
scared the shit out of me.
I vowed to never let it happen.
(sips coffee)
What made you want to be a cop?

CHET
Uh -- similar story --

BECK
Serpico?
(off his stare)
Hill Street Blues?

CHET
(clears throat)
Uh -- Barney Miller.
(off her look)
I’m an orphan, okay?
Those cops were like a family --

BECK
(sees something)
There she is.

EXT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - DAY
Julie goes to the door.
Looks exhausted.

Pulls out her keys.
Unlocks the door.

Chet and Beck appear
behind her.

CHET
Excuse me, Julie Stein?

JULIE
That’s me --
(turns, looks)
Officer. Is there anything wrong?

BECK
We’d like to talk to you
about your son, Frankie.
(off her stare, shows ID)
Beck Driver, CDC.

JULIE
What’s wrong? Wh-what did he do?

CHET
Can we talk inside?

INT. JULIE’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Julie sits on the couch.
Chet sits in a chair facing her.
Beck stands in front of the fireplace.

JULIE
A rat? Really?

CHET
Yes, ma’am.

BECK
And we’re looking for the person
who brought it back to life.

CHET
Your neighbor Peggy Heck
told us your son Frankie has a --
science lab in your basement.

JULIE
(under her breath)
That bitch --
(recovers)
Well, yes. But that’s
for his chemistry class.
He wouldn’t do anything like that.
(proud)
He got in early admission to MIT.

BECK
Would you mind if we took a look?

JULIE
Well, I don’t know.
I’m not allowed down there.
Ever since his father died,
he’s been very -- private.

CHET
We can get a warrant.

JULIE
(sighs, stands)
Follow me --

INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON BUS - DAY
Frankie sits behind the wheel.
Shayla sits next to him.

Now wearing a long, blonde wig.
She adjusts it clumsily.
Looks at herself in the mirror.

SHAYLA
Pretty.

FRANKIE
You look gorgeous.
(beat)
I thought we could go to
Ohio Burger Kitchen.
Hope that’s okay --

SHAYLA
Burger -- Kitchen --
(thinks)
Willis.

FRANKIE
W-willis?

SHAYLA
Went -- with Willis.
(looks at him)
You -- know him?

FRANKIE
Uh, no --

SHAYLA
CHEESE-BURGER.

FRANKIE
What?

SHAYLA
(sad)
Don’t -- know.

FRANKIE
Don’t strain yourself trying
to remember everything.
Just think about the fun
we’re going to have.
(smiles)
Our first date --

SHAYLA
First -- date.

FRANKIE
So you like cheeseburgers, huh?
I do, too.

SHAYLA
He -- HIT me.

FRANKIE
Who hit you?

SHAYLA
Willis.
(looks at him)
Don’t -- know him?

PUSH IN ON Frankie’s face.
Quietly freaking out.

FRANKIE
Sorry --
(bad fake laugh)
Whatchoo talkin’ bout?