Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Two Scoops Of Vanilla


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of SPIRAL, when Playboy Entertainment executive Cathy Gordon tells Andy that she wants to produce a special featuring adult film star Savannah, he gets excited, but when the three of them meet at a swanky Beverly Hills restaurant for lunch, more than sparks fly ...


CLOSE UP OF VIDEO MONITOR
In an elaborate dungeon, a gorgeous amazon
in black vinyl ties a beautiful young
naked women to a cross.

The naked woman SHUDDERS with pleasure.

INT. CATHY GORDON'S OFFICE - DAY
Andy sits in a chair across from Cathy's desk.
They are watching the S&M video on the monitor.

ANDY
My god. That's not on the channel, is it?

CATHY
No. From my private collection.

Cathy PUNCHES the remote.
The screen changes to a smiling Jenny McCarthy
in a bikini bouncing in the waves at the beach.

CATHY
That's the channel. Two scoops of vanilla.

Andy laughs.

ANDY
So what's up? What did you want to see me about?

CATHY
I've got this idea. I want to do a special,
"A day in the life of a porn star."
People love that behind the scenes kinda stuff.

ANDY
That's a great idea.

CATHY
Thanks, I think so. You know, we show them
shopping for groceries, at the gym,
at the beauty parlor, whatever.
Then, after the special, we show
a marathon of the star's best movies.

A beat. Cathy sips her coffee.

CATHY (CONT'D)
I'd like to do Savannah first.

ANDY
Wow, cool.

CATHY
You've been hanging out with her.
Do you think you could do me a favor
and set up a meeting?

ANDY
Are you kidding? Of course! She'd love it.
"A day in the life of a porn star."

CATHY
And then, a "Savannah-thon."

ANDY
I'll call her tonight.

INT. ANDY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Andy is grooming himself for the big night.
He's wearing a nice, casual suit.

ANDY (V.O)
I couldn't believe it,
she was gonna have her own special.
I just knew she and Cathy
were gonna hit it off.
This was just the kinda break
she needed, talk about exposure.
The best part was that
this was the first time
I was gonna get to see her
as Savannah.

INT. MAPLE DRIVE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
It's a classy, exclusive place in Beverly Hills
for Hollywood's movers and shakers.

Dinner time. The place is packed. Suits at every table.
AGENTS. PRODUCERS. DIRECTORS. EXECUTIVES. TALENT.

The soft strain of classical music
plays on the P.A.

Andy and Cathy sit at a booth
in the rear sipping margaritas.
Not a power table.

ANDY
This place is amazing.

CATHY
It's nice, huh. Where else can you see
Barry Diller and John Ritter in the same room?

ANDY
And you eat here all the time.

CATHY
Yeah, but my power lunches involve a discussion
of the amount of sex in the running time
of my supplier's product.
Not exactly a hot scoop for Variety.

Cathy looks at her watch.

CATHY (cont'd)
She's half an hour late.

Andy scans the room.

ANDY
There she is.

INT. THE HOSTESS DESK - SAME
Shannon and Dex stand at the front of the restaurant.
Shannon is stunning in white vinyl and bare skin.
The HOSTESS points across the room. Andy WAVES.

INT. MIDSHOT / RESTAURANT
Shannon slowly STRUTS through
the middle of the restaurant,
head held high. All heads TURN. Time stops.

CLOSEUP: AGENT
A young, hunky AGENT peers over his glasses
and murmurs something under his breath.

MIDSHOT IN SLOW MOTION / RESTAURANT
Shannon GLIDES across the carpet
like a gazelle, white thighs flashing.
She's totally aware of the impact
she's having and loving it.

CLOSEUP: EXECUTIVE
A middle-aged EXECUTIVE stares,
takes a sip of water, then licks his lips.

MIDSHOT IN SLOW MOTION / RESTAURANT
Shannon nears Andy and Cathy's booth,
turns sideways to look at someone,
her hair swirling softly around her head,
framing her beaming, beautiful,
red-lipped face. Her eyes flash.

CLOSEUP: FEMALE EXECUTIVE
A pretty FEMALE EXECUTIVE lightly touches her plunging neckline with her hand,
causing her elbow to KNOCK OVER her wine glass.

INT. THE BOOTH - SAME
Shannon and Dex stand at the booth.

SHANNON
Hi Andy.

ANDY
Hello, gorgeous. Hey, Dex.

DEX
Hey.

ANDY
This is Cathy. Cathy, this is Savannah.

Cathy stands and shakes Shannon's hand.

CATHY
Hi. It's great to meet you.

Shannon likes what she sees.

SHANNON
Hi, Cathy. It's nice to meet you.

Shannon and Dex sit opposite Cathy and Andy in the booth.

ANDY
This is so great. All my favorite people at the same table.

SHANNON
So let's the chase. What's this about?
Andy mentioned something about a special.

CATHY
Yeah. It's a behind the scenes kinda thing called,
"A day in the life of an adult star."
We'd show you grocery shopping, washing your dog,
going to the gym, you know,
doing the things you do in your real life.

SHANNON
But I look like shit when I wash Daisy.
Who'd wanna see that?

CATHY
Oh, no. We'd stage it. You know, we'd fake it.
You'd look gorgeous.

SHANNON
I see.

CATHY
After the special we'd show a marathon of your best films,
a "Savannathon"

Cathy smiles hopefully. Shannon considers it.

SHANNON
I'll do it if I can be on the cover of the magazine.

CATHY
On the cover of Playboy?

SHANNON
Yeah. I'll do it if I can be on the cover.

Cathy looks at Andy. Andy looks helpless.
Shannon looks at Cathy expectantly.
Dex looks around the restaurant, restless.

CATHY
I'm sorry, I'm afraid that's not possible.

SHANNON
Not possible?

CATHY
I'm afraid Hefner has a policy against using adult talent
on the cover...or anywhere else in the magazine.
I know it's bullshit, but he's the boss.
(pause)
I'm sorry. My hands are tied.

SHANNON
Then I'm sorry. No cover, no special.

An awkward silence falls over the table.

SHANNON (CONT'D)
What are those bracelets you're wearing?
They look like handcuffs.

CATHY
Well, they are, sort of.

Cathy holds her arm up toward Shannon.
A small chain dangles connecting two
sterling silver rings around her wrist.

CATHY (cont'd)
It's just a pair of bracelets
connected with a little chain...

She slips one ring off.
It dangles on the chain.
Shannon's eyes widen.

CATHY (cont'd)
I think they're better than handcuffs...
No key to lose.

SHANNON
Sounds like fun.

A beat. The women look at each other.
You can cut the sexual tension with a knife.

A WAITER suddenly appears.

WAITER
How are we doing tonight?
My name is Richard, and I'll be your...

SHANNON
We're not staying for dinner.

She stands up. Cathy is surprised. Dex stands up.

ANDY
(to Shannon)
I'll call you when I get home.

SHANNON
It was such a pleasure to meet you.

CATHY
It was a pleasure to meet you too.

SHANNON
You'll let me know?

CATHY
I'll let you know --

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