Thursday, March 5, 2015
The Way Of The Gun
Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 4 of SPIRAL, Andy gossips with his coworkers on a coffee break at Playboy Entertainment, where we meet programming Executive Cathy Gordon (a character based on yours truly), the only 'cool' executive in the joint. Meanwhile, Dex pays a visit to Savannah, who gets into an altercation with the moving men bringing her stuff into her new Hollywood Hills crib ...
INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY.
Andy and two FEMALE COWORKERS stand near
his cubicle drinking coffee and kibitzing.
My coworkers were the best.
The only way we survived the boredom of
adding numbers all day was to make fun of
how absurd it was to work at Playboy.
There was always something to gossip about.
Andy and the two women laugh.
FEMALE COWORKER NO. 1
Have you seen the LaToya layout?
Talk about digital effects.
At first I thought it was Michael.
FEMALE COWORKER NO. 2
Haven't you heard the rumor,
that they're the same person --
It's done with mirrors.
Andy sees something.
Walking toward them is CATHY GORDON (35),
a programming executive.
She's tall, trendy, and very attractive.
In each hand she lugs tote bags
bursting with videos.
The women smile.
You really watch all of that every night?
Every day and into the night, I scour the globe
on my quest in search of the best
in adult entertainment.
Crunch those numbers, kids.
I've got a nine o'clock gang bang.
Cathy is gone in a flash.
I loved Cathy.
She was the only executive that was cool.
And the only one who would talk to peons like me.
She'd even let me hang out in her office sometimes.
Cathy was rare at Playboy.
She didn't look down on porn stars.
She dated them.
EXT. MULHOLLAND DRIVE - DAY
Dex's black Jeep drives up the hill on Laurel Canyon Drive.
It stops at the light at Mulholland.
CLOSE UP OF JEEP
The entire Jeep is filled with women's shoes and boots.
Frederick's of Hollywood on wheels.
The car radio plays cheerful Euro-pop, like Erasure.
An ashen-faced Dex sits at the wheel.
The light turns green.
He PUNCHES the gas and TAKES OFF.
A thigh-high boot falls onto the road.
EXT. HOUSE - DAY
A house in the North Hollywood Hills.
The split level ranch-style home soars out
in the air off the cliff on stilts.
A Mayflower moving van engulfs the driveway,
furniture and boxes everywhere.
INT. FOYER - SAME
Shannon stands by the doorway
with a beer in her hand.
She's detoxed from heroin
and looks healthy and very pretty.
Two large Mexican MOVING MEN stand in front of her
carrying a large, well-worn box
that looks like it's about to burst.
Now be careful with that.
That's fragile. That's all my pictures.
MOVING MAN NO. 1
Don't worry, lady.
The moving men exchange glances.
Shannon goes into the house.
INT. SHANNON'S KITCHEN - DAY
Shannon and Dex sit in Shannon's kitchen at the bar.
Rap music thumps on a transistor radio.
Thanks a lot for coming over. Moving sucks.
It's okay. I had nothing else to do.
So listen. I have a proposition for you.
Shannon opens a couple of beers, hands one to Dex.
What would you think about working for me full-time?
Full time? You want me to drop all my other clients?
I need a stylist all the time, not just on shoots.
Like if I'm going out with Slash somewhere. You know.
I have to think about it.
Were you thinking about some sort of salary?
Shannon reaches into her pocket and
pulls out a large half-ounce bag of COCAINE.
She places it on the bar between them.
Don't worry. I'll spread the wealth.
Dex's eyes are as big as saucers.
He's never seen that much coke.
His heart races, but he puts up a calm front.
He takes a long swig of his beer.
I think we have a deal.
Suddenly, a loud CRASH, the sound of BREAKING GLASS.
Fuck! Those ASSHOLES!
Shannon RUNS out of the room.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
The moving men stand looking at the contents
of the broken box on the floor.
Broken PICTURES, a few SEX TOYS.
...and a large, menacing-looking chrome HANDGUN.
MOVING MAN NO. 1
Let's get the fuck out of here!
The men RUN LIKE HELL out the door.
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME
Shannon CHARGES into the room,
sees the broken box and debris.
Motherfuckers! Come back here!
She reaches down and picks up her gun,
RUNS to the front door.
EXT. DOORWAY - DAY
Shannon holds the gun with both hands
like a demon assassin.
She takes aim, gets ready -
- then, a CLICK.
Dex steps outside with their beers.
He's been watching.
You have to take the safety off --