Friday, March 6, 2015
A Cold One
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 5 of SPIRAL, Andy calls his mother to tell her that he's gonna get to meet 'the world-famous adult film superstar' Savannah. Meanwhile, Savannah appears onstage at an exclusive 'gentlemen's club' in Florida ...
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
A tiny bedroom just big enough for a bed,
a small table with a TV set and a tiny dresser.
Outside the window is a beautiful view
of the lights below in Beverly Hills.
Andy lies on the bed on
the phone with his MOTHER.
A silent TV flickers.
Andy nurses a bottle of beer.
I lived in a completely empty
thirty room mansion high up in Bel Air.
I was house sitting for a Japanese developer.
The realtor said I had to
stay in the maid's quarters.
To keep the house clean for when
they showed it to potential buyers.
It was even worse than being at work.
At work there were other people around.
It was like living in a mausoleum.
Andy smiles and talks into the phone.
I can't wait to meet her.
I'm so proud of you Andy.
Hobnobbing with a celebrity.
INT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT
Peggy is a nurse. She wears scrubs
and talks on the phone at her station.
Good night, Andy. I love you.
'Night, mom. I love you too.
INT. BEDROOM - SAME
Andy hangs up the phone and sighs.
He looks at the clock on the night stand.
It's 1:30. Andy slides off the bed
and goes to the window.
EXT. BALCONY - NIGHT
Andy looks down at the twinkling lights below.
He throws the beer bottle far out into the night.
INT. STRIP CLUB - DAY
The Doll House in Ft Lauderdale, Florida,
a "classy" gentleman's club.
A big sign proclaims the "exclusive engagement"
of "world-famous adult superstar" SAVANNAH!.
The crowed is sparse -
a few BLUE COLLAR WORKERS
and a handful of TOURISTS.
Snarling heavy metal
POUNDS on the sound system.
Two BLONDE AMAZONS do a girl-girl thing
on stage with a large dildo made of ice.
I envied Dex so much.
He got to travel all over the country.
Dex told me the clubs were really nice,
not like strip joints.
They're really upscale nowadays.
He said Shannon would make as much as
twenty thousand in a single weekend.
Sometimes even more.
Imagine. Being paid to work in clubs.
INT. BACKSTAGE - DAY
Shannon sits while Dex does her makeup.
She takes a few pills
out of a prescription bottle
and swills them down with a cocktail.
The music from onstage thumps
softly in the background.
Ow! Be careful. That hurt!
I can't wait to get out of this stupid
shithole and get back to L.A.
Shannon, I uh...I wanna...
...Um. I'm having a, ah, a hard time
paying my bills this month.
Dex starts working on Shannon's mouth
with a bright red thick lip crayon.
Shannon's eyes narrow. She gets it.
I'm not giving you more money.
We agreed that five hundred a week was plenty.
Yeah, but, you see...
No! You see here!
Maybe you should stop buying fucking
two hundred dollar Donna Karan pants!
Shannon reaches over to the makeup counter
and GRABS her cocktail. Takes a swig.
If you can't fucking watch your money
it's not my problem.
The pills start to kick in.
Now shut the fuck up and finish my face.
I'm up next, and I don't want to
make my fans wait.
The music fades out.
The CLUB ANNOUNCER comes on the P.A.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Blondage!
They sure can do amazing things
with that ice sculpture, don'tcha think?
Talk about a cold one!
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the Doll House is proud to present,
in an exclusive engagement, the world-famous
adult entertainment superstar, SA-VANNAH!
Loud, nasty Guns N' Roses type rock n' roll
dully roars from onstage.
A door opens. The CLUB MANAGER
walks into the dressing room.
You're on, Savannah.
Shannon drains her cocktail.
Weaves a little.
We're not fucking ready yet.
Let 'em wait --