That Killing Feeling: March 2015

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Star Struck

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of SPIRAL, now that the three of them have been partying all night and doing drugs for a few weeks, Andy confesses to Dex that he has feelings for adult film star Savannah, a/k/a Shannon ...

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
The strip is clogged with traffic.
The CAMERA pans across nightclubs,
billboards, PEOPLE on the sidewalk.

Over the action, 80's "new wave" music,
something like A Flock Of Seagulls.

ANDY (V.O.)
Things started to get a little messy.
I mean, friends fight sometimes,
but we had fights like we were
lovers or something.
Sometimes I thought maybe it was
all the drugs we were doing.
But then I was too high most of time
to really think about it that much.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD / DEX'S JEEP - NIGHT
Dex's Jeep rolls through Sunset Plaza
with the top down.

ANDY (V.O)
Maybe it was because I was starting
to have some feelings for Shannon.
I knew it couldn't lead to anything,
I tried to ignore it,
but I couldn't help it.
I kinda felt like she needed me.

INT. DEX'S JEEP / SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
SUPER: "9:37"

Andy does a bump of coke,
then gives it to Dex.
They smile at each other.

ANGLE ON:
A billboard for the film "Johns,"
with a cute young Lucas Haas' face
smiling hopefully.

INT. DEX'S JEEP / SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
Dex points at the billboard.

DEX
I'd pay seven bucks to see male hustlers.

ANDY
You pay twenty bucks to do male hustlers.

Dex laughs.

ANDY
I'd pay a hundred to do Shannon.

The Jeep stops at a light.
Dex PUNCHES the stereo off.

DEX
What?

ANDY
I was kidding. It was a joke.

Dex stares at Andy,
who turns beet red.

Andy avoids his gaze
and looks out the window.
Dex can't believe it.

DEX
You're blushing like a school boy.
You've got the hots for her.
Boy, if she found out --

ANDY
I don't have the hots for her.
I said I was kidding.
It was a fucking joke.
Now cut it out

The light changes.
Dex hits the gas.
Andy PUNCHES the stereo back on.

ANDY
I'm not like everybody else.
I love her like she was my sister.

DEX
Well you know what they say,
"incest is best."

ANDY
Very fucking funny.

A beat.

Andy reaches down
and pulls out a six pack,
breaks off two cans,
hands one to Dex.

He POPS open his beer.

ANDY
Don't say anything about it
to Shannon, okay?

Monday, March 30, 2015

Snow Blind

Friday, March 27, 2015

Red Carpet Muncher

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of SPIRAL, Andy, Dex and notorious porn star Savannah recuperate 'the morning after' their all-night drug binge, but there's no rest for the weary when Savannah attends the AVN awards, the adult film version of the Oscars, where she's nominated for 'best new starlet' ...

INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - MAGIC
Andy checks his answering machine. No messages.
He lies on his bed and fidgets,
unable to sleep from the speed.

Andy dials the phone. He gets a machine.

PEGGY BERNARDI (O.S.)
Hello, you've reached the Bernardi residence,
no one's here to...

INT. SHANNON'S BEDROOM - DAWN
Shannon and Daisy sleep on her bed like the dead,
Shannon SNORING.

ANGLE ON:
Prescription pill bottles on the nightstand.

INT. DEX'S BEDROOM - DAWN
Dex and a skinny, young STREET HUSTLER negotiate.

DEX
Twenty, right?

Dex pulls his wallet out.

STREET HUSTLER
Twenty five.

DEX
Okay.

STREET HUSTLER
And I don't do no kinky stuff.

INT. PLAYBOY / ANDY'S CUBICLE - DAY.
Andy's cubicle is empty. Two FEMALE COWORKERS,
who we saw earlier, stand nearby kibitzing.

COWORKER NO. 1
But Andy said Savannah doesn't do the kinky stuff.

GEORGE STUART, (40's), approaches the women.
Andy's boss is quiet, but clearly upset.

GEORGE
Have you seen Andy?

COWORKER NO. 2
I think he said something about a
dentist appointment this morning.

GEORGE
Really. Well, tell him to come see me when he gets in.

INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - DAY
Andy lies in bed, still clothed, dead to the world.

ANGLE ON:
His bedside table. The clock reads "11:30."
Lying next to it is copy of the "AVN News,"
the porn trade publication.

Shannon's on the cover.

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT
A Las Vegas hotel ballroom filled with revelers.

On stage, a leather-clad foursome plays
cheesy heavy metal at a DEAFENING VOLUME.

ANGLE ON:
A big sign over the stage reads "Adult Video News Awards."

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT
The ballroom is BUZZING with PORN DIRECTORS
and EXECUTIVES in suits, PORN ACTORS in tuxes
and PORN ACTRESSES in outrageous gowns.

ANDY (V.O.)
The AVN Awards is like the Oscars
for the adult entertainment industry.
And just like at the Academy Awards,
there's best picture, best director, best actress...
(beat
...but there's also awards for best oral, best anal,
best gang bang, and my favorite,
best bisexual three-way come shot.
(pause)
I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.
(pause)
Shannon was really excited.
She was up for "best new starlet."

ANGLE ON:
A group of STUDS in Chippendale-like outfits carry
300 pound drag queen CHI CHI LA RUE up to the stage
high atop a divan, like an absurd pharaoh.

They climb the stage, then start a big production number,
Chi Chi singing "Don't Fuck Me There."

The crowd ROARS.

ANDY (V.O.)
I was dying to go, but I couldn't afford the trip.
I really wanted to see Shannon in all her glory.

INT. BATHROOM STALL - NIGHT
Shannon sits on the toilet and SNORTS a bump of coke.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT
She comes out of the stall, goes to the mirror
and fixes her makeup.

BEVERLY BOULEVARD, (late teens), a sexy newcomer,
to the mirror and does her lipstick.

BEVERLY
Hey, Savannah! You look great! Good luck tonight!

SHANNON
Thanks, darling, but luck has nothing to do with it.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT
SHAUNA GRANT and SHANNA LYNN, (early 20's),
gorgeous porn stars, stand at the podium
with big, bright pageant smiles.

The crowd CHEERS and WHISTLES.

SHANNA
Okay. The next category is "Best New Starlet."

A smattering of applause. A few catcalls.
Shauna reads off a card.

SHAUNA
And the nominees are, Topanga Canyon, Eternity,
Savannah, Beverly Boulevard, and Barbie Dahl.

Shanna opens the envelope.
SHANNA
And the winner is...

A beat. Shanna is not pleased.

SHANNA (cont'd)
Savannah.

Some applause, few boos and hisses.

INT. STAGE - NIGHT
Shannon glides up to the podium, smiling, triumphant.
She GRABS the award from Shauna and BEAMS.

A beat. The faint applause dies out.
Shannon clutches the gold statuette to her bosom.

SHANNON
Hello, everybody! Aren't you happy for me?

CLOSEUP OF SHANNA AND SHAUNA
The women stand to the side with glazed smiles.

SHANNA
Cunt.

SHAUNA
I can't believe the bitch won.

INT. STAGE - SAME

SHANNON
Thank you all so much! I love you!

She BLOWS a kiss, turns to leave, then stops.
Shannon leans into the mike.

SHANNON (cont'd)
I'd like to thank all the critics who voted for me.
(beat)
And to those of you who didn't...
(beat)
Fuck YOU.

CLOSE UP OF REPORTER
A REPORTER scribbles in his notebook and shakes his head.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Lost In The Supermarket

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of SPIRAL, now that their drug and booze-filled binges start lasting all night into the morning, Savannah, Dex and Andy have to venture out into the real world to stock up on 'supplies' ...

INT. SHANNON'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Shannon, Andy and Dex sit on bar stools
facing the mirror. They sip drinks.

ANDY
But Cathy's cool. She's gonna try, I swear.

SHANNON
I won't get the fucking cover, I know it.
They don't want some fucking porn star.
(pause)
You can't trust anyone.
Everyone sucks. The world sucks.

ANDY
We don't need anyone else.

DEX
Yeah.

SHANNON
You guys are my world, all I have, all I need -- my family.

Shannon fires up the pipe, inhales a hit,
then closes her eyes, rushing on the drug.

ANDY
What about your family?
How come you never talk about them?

Her head JERKS at hearing the word "family."
She opens her eyes, bitter eyes BURNING in the mirror.

SHANNON
I have no family. They're dead. I killed them.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT
A faceless suburban street
somewhere deep in the Valley.
Shannon and Andy sit in Dex's Jeep
in front of a tiny, shitty bungalow.

ANDY (V.O.)
The parties started lasting longer and longer,
and sometimes we'd run out of stuff,
so we'd go on a run.
After being inside all night,
it was great to get out.

INT. DEX'S JEEP - NIGHT
Shannon leans her head back and closes her eyes.
The radio plays a vintage top forty ballad.

ANDY (V.O.)
It was so quiet, so perfect,
the streets were so dead,
it seemed like a different city.
It felt like everyone else had disappeared,
and we were the only ones left in the world.

INSIDE THE CAR - SAME

SHANNON
He always takes so long.

Andy takes her hand with mock-sincerity.

ANDY
Don't be impatient, my Little flower.
It's more time for us to be alone together.

Shannon opens her eyes and laughs.
Dex comes out of the house and gets in the car.

SHANNON
What took you so fucking long?

DEX
The guy is fucking weird. He never shuts up.

SHANNON
But you got the stuff, right?

DEX
Yeah, well, sorta. All he had was crystal.

SHANNON
You got fucking SPEED?

ANDY
Speed? I've never done speed.

DEX
Hey, look. It was either that or nothing.

SHANNON
Fucking idiot.
That stuff's for druggies, for addicts.

DEX
What was I supposed to do?
Come back with nothing?
Besides, it was cheaper.
Now we got more money for Stoli.

INT. SUPERMARKET AISLE - NIGHT
It's empty. The brightness of it seems surreal, haunted.
Obscenely peppy Muzak plays, a bit too loud.

Dex holds a cart. Andy puts a half gallon
bottle of Stoli in the shopping cart.
Dex GRABS it and unscrews the cap.

ANDY
Can't you wait 'till we get home?

DEX
Uh-uh. I'm starting to get sober.

Dex CHUGS vodka straight from the bottle.

INT. CHECKOUT / REGISTER - NIGHT
A pair of ROCKERS dig into their pockets
to pay for a twelve pack.

ROCKER NO. 1
I've got two bucks.

INT. SUPERMARKET AISLE - SAME
Shannon approaches the cart with an
armload of feminine hygiene products.

DEX
I'm not helping to pay for fucking douche.

SHANNON
Don't worry about it. I got a plan.

INT. CHECKOUT / REGISTER - SAME
The rockers GRAB the twelve pack.
One of them sees something.

ROCKER NO. 1
Hey! Isn't that that porn chick, wha's her name?

INT. SUPERMARKET EXIT - NIGHT
Dex pushes the cart at a fast clip.

SHANNON
Just look casual.

ANDY
We can't do this. We'll get caught.

INT. CHECKOUT / REGISTER - SAME
The CASHIER sees them.

CASHIER
Hey! You! Stop!

ROCKER NO. 2
It's Savannah!
(to Shannon)
Hey! SAVANNAH!

INT. SUPERMARKET EXIT - NIGHT
Shannon turns her head.

SHANNON
Shit! Run!

Dex starts RUNNING with the cart.
Andy FLIES out the door.

Shannon stops, turns around, lifts up her shirt,
FLASHES HER BREASTS and RUNS out the door
LAUGHING hysterically.

EXT. SUPERMARKET PARKING LOT - NIGHT
The three RUN into the night, LAUGHING.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Two Scoops Of Vanilla

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of SPIRAL, when Playboy Entertainment executive Cathy Gordon tells Andy that she wants to produce a special featuring adult film star Savannah, he gets excited, but when the three of them meet at a swanky Beverly Hills restaurant for lunch, more than sparks fly ...

CLOSE UP OF VIDEO MONITOR
In an elaborate dungeon, a gorgeous amazon
in black vinyl ties a beautiful young
naked women to a cross.

The naked woman SHUDDERS with pleasure.

INT. CATHY GORDON'S OFFICE - DAY
Andy sits in a chair across from Cathy's desk.
They are watching the S&M video on the monitor.

ANDY
My god. That's not on the channel, is it?

CATHY
No. From my private collection.

Cathy PUNCHES the remote.
The screen changes to a smiling Jenny McCarthy
in a bikini bouncing in the waves at the beach.

CATHY
That's the channel. Two scoops of vanilla.

Andy laughs.

ANDY
So what's up? What did you want to see me about?

CATHY
I've got this idea. I want to do a special,
"A day in the life of a porn star."
People love that behind the scenes kinda stuff.

ANDY
That's a great idea.

CATHY
Thanks, I think so. You know, we show them
shopping for groceries, at the gym,
at the beauty parlor, whatever.
Then, after the special, we show
a marathon of the star's best movies.

A beat. Cathy sips her coffee.

CATHY (CONT'D)
I'd like to do Savannah first.

ANDY
Wow, cool.

CATHY
You've been hanging out with her.
Do you think you could do me a favor
and set up a meeting?

ANDY
Are you kidding? Of course! She'd love it.
"A day in the life of a porn star."

CATHY
And then, a "Savannah-thon."

ANDY
I'll call her tonight.

INT. ANDY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Andy is grooming himself for the big night.
He's wearing a nice, casual suit.

ANDY (V.O)
I couldn't believe it,
she was gonna have her own special.
I just knew she and Cathy
were gonna hit it off.
This was just the kinda break
she needed, talk about exposure.
The best part was that
this was the first time
I was gonna get to see her
as Savannah.

INT. MAPLE DRIVE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
It's a classy, exclusive place in Beverly Hills
for Hollywood's movers and shakers.

Dinner time. The place is packed. Suits at every table.
AGENTS. PRODUCERS. DIRECTORS. EXECUTIVES. TALENT.

The soft strain of classical music
plays on the P.A.

Andy and Cathy sit at a booth
in the rear sipping margaritas.
Not a power table.

ANDY
This place is amazing.

CATHY
It's nice, huh. Where else can you see
Barry Diller and John Ritter in the same room?

ANDY
And you eat here all the time.

CATHY
Yeah, but my power lunches involve a discussion
of the amount of sex in the running time
of my supplier's product.
Not exactly a hot scoop for Variety.

Cathy looks at her watch.

CATHY (cont'd)
She's half an hour late.

Andy scans the room.

ANDY
There she is.

INT. THE HOSTESS DESK - SAME
Shannon and Dex stand at the front of the restaurant.
Shannon is stunning in white vinyl and bare skin.
The HOSTESS points across the room. Andy WAVES.

INT. MIDSHOT / RESTAURANT
Shannon slowly STRUTS through
the middle of the restaurant,
head held high. All heads TURN. Time stops.

CLOSEUP: AGENT
A young, hunky AGENT peers over his glasses
and murmurs something under his breath.

MIDSHOT IN SLOW MOTION / RESTAURANT
Shannon GLIDES across the carpet
like a gazelle, white thighs flashing.
She's totally aware of the impact
she's having and loving it.

CLOSEUP: EXECUTIVE
A middle-aged EXECUTIVE stares,
takes a sip of water, then licks his lips.

MIDSHOT IN SLOW MOTION / RESTAURANT
Shannon nears Andy and Cathy's booth,
turns sideways to look at someone,
her hair swirling softly around her head,
framing her beaming, beautiful,
red-lipped face. Her eyes flash.

CLOSEUP: FEMALE EXECUTIVE
A pretty FEMALE EXECUTIVE lightly touches her plunging neckline with her hand,
causing her elbow to KNOCK OVER her wine glass.

INT. THE BOOTH - SAME
Shannon and Dex stand at the booth.

SHANNON
Hi Andy.

ANDY
Hello, gorgeous. Hey, Dex.

DEX
Hey.

ANDY
This is Cathy. Cathy, this is Savannah.

Cathy stands and shakes Shannon's hand.

CATHY
Hi. It's great to meet you.

Shannon likes what she sees.

SHANNON
Hi, Cathy. It's nice to meet you.

Shannon and Dex sit opposite Cathy and Andy in the booth.

ANDY
This is so great. All my favorite people at the same table.

SHANNON
So let's the chase. What's this about?
Andy mentioned something about a special.

CATHY
Yeah. It's a behind the scenes kinda thing called,
"A day in the life of an adult star."
We'd show you grocery shopping, washing your dog,
going to the gym, you know,
doing the things you do in your real life.

SHANNON
But I look like shit when I wash Daisy.
Who'd wanna see that?

CATHY
Oh, no. We'd stage it. You know, we'd fake it.
You'd look gorgeous.

SHANNON
I see.

CATHY
After the special we'd show a marathon of your best films,
a "Savannathon"

Cathy smiles hopefully. Shannon considers it.

SHANNON
I'll do it if I can be on the cover of the magazine.

CATHY
On the cover of Playboy?

SHANNON
Yeah. I'll do it if I can be on the cover.

Cathy looks at Andy. Andy looks helpless.
Shannon looks at Cathy expectantly.
Dex looks around the restaurant, restless.

CATHY
I'm sorry, I'm afraid that's not possible.

SHANNON
Not possible?

CATHY
I'm afraid Hefner has a policy against using adult talent
on the cover...or anywhere else in the magazine.
I know it's bullshit, but he's the boss.
(pause)
I'm sorry. My hands are tied.

SHANNON
Then I'm sorry. No cover, no special.

An awkward silence falls over the table.

SHANNON (CONT'D)
What are those bracelets you're wearing?
They look like handcuffs.

CATHY
Well, they are, sort of.

Cathy holds her arm up toward Shannon.
A small chain dangles connecting two
sterling silver rings around her wrist.

CATHY (cont'd)
It's just a pair of bracelets
connected with a little chain...

She slips one ring off.
It dangles on the chain.
Shannon's eyes widen.

CATHY (cont'd)
I think they're better than handcuffs...
No key to lose.

SHANNON
Sounds like fun.

A beat. The women look at each other.
You can cut the sexual tension with a knife.

A WAITER suddenly appears.

WAITER
How are we doing tonight?
My name is Richard, and I'll be your...

SHANNON
We're not staying for dinner.

She stands up. Cathy is surprised. Dex stands up.

ANDY
(to Shannon)
I'll call you when I get home.

SHANNON
It was such a pleasure to meet you.

CATHY
It was a pleasure to meet you too.

SHANNON
You'll let me know?

CATHY
I'll let you know --

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Doctor's Orders

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of SPIRAL, after her show at the strip club, adult film star Savannah and her entourage take her limo to the seedy part of town to 'fill her prescription' for some blow ...

INT. LIMOUSINE - NIGHT
Shannon and Dex sit in the back
of a super stretch limo.

The lights of Vegas
flash through the windows.

Over the action, nasty,
guttural female rap.

Shannon takes a swig of champagne
straight from the bottle.

Coke is laid out on the small bar.
Dex does a line, then Shannon.
The driver's divider rolls down.

DRIVER
Are you sure this is the address?

Shannon rolls down her window
and takes a look.
It's a bad neighborhood.

SHANNON
It's gotta be.
(to Dex)
That fat fuck better'ave given me
the right address.

Dex does a line.

DEX
We can handle it.

Shannon takes a swig of champagne.

SHANNON
Let's rock and roll.

They LURCH out of the limo.

EXT. THE IRISH ROSE BAR - NIGHT
Shannon and Dex stand in front
of a shitty little bar.

"The Irish Rose" has definitely faded.
A neon sign blinks "cock_ails."

A DRUNKEN HOOKER stumbles out of the bar.
Shannon leans into the limo window.

SHANNON
We'll be back in five minutes.

Shannon hands the driver
a hundred dollar bill.

DRIVER
Okay.

INT. LIMO - SAME
The driver reaches
into the glove compartment
and pulls out a big chrome HANDGUN
and places it on his lap.

DRIVER
You got it.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE LIMO - SAME
Shannon and Dex walk into the bar.

INT. TENEMENT BAR - NIGHT.
Straight out of a bad cable movie.
Dark, dank, and scary.

A broken ceiling fan.
Neon beer signs.
A hand-written bar menu.

A handful of CUSTOMERS sit at the bar
dully staring at a small black and white
TV with shitty reception.

A Mexican BARTENDER washes glasses.
Over the action, evil gangsta rap,
like Ice T.

Shannon and Dex walk in.

JUNKIE
(to the bartender)
Can't you fix the fucking reception?
It's fucking Sally Jesse!
It's one of my shows!

The bar notices the blonde bombshell
and her escort. They freeze.

SHANNON
Excuse me.
I'm looking for Docta MC.
Marvin at the Olympic Gardens sent me.

Everyone stares at her.
Silently. Ominously.

SHANNON
Marvin said he had really good shit.

Silence. The clock TICKS.

SHANNON
I've got a fuck-load of cash.

A DRUNK stands up and points at Shannon.

DRUNK
Hey! I know you! You're Savannah!

SHANNON
You bet your ass I am.

A beat.

SHANNON
Anyone want an autograph?

The bar comes to life.

BARTENDER
Shit. I thought you looked familiar.
I thought you were a fuckin cop.

A big, ugly gangsta
walks over to Shannon.

DOCTA MC
Hey everybody, listen up,
we've got ourselves a
ce-leb-ri-ty in the house.

Shannon beams. Dex trembles with fear.

DOCTA MC
Allow me to introduce myself,
miss fine thang, I AM the Docta MC.
So I'm to unnerstand my homes
Marvin sent you for some medication?

SHANNON
That's right, doctor,
I need some party medicine --

She pulls out a BIG WAD OF CASH.

SHANNON
And here's my prescription.

Monday, March 23, 2015

I Love The Smell Of Estrogen In The Morning

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of SPIRAL, adult film star Savannah does a strip club appearance in Vegas, where the crowd loves her, but more than sparks fly when there's no limo to pick her up at the airport ...

EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - DAY
A sign says "Las Vegas International Airport."
Swarms of travelers stream in and out.
Over the action, pumping disco music.

ANDY (V.O.)
Every two weeks Shannon and Dex went on the road.
They travelled all over the country,
Shannon doing her strip act in every big city.
Shannon told me that the film work paid shit,
that the real money was on the road.
She could make as much twenty,
thirty thousand in a single weekend.
The clubs paid big money, and she also
cleaned up selling autographed t-shirts,
videos, all kinds of stuff.
The fans loved her, and she loved her fans.

EXT. AIRPORT TAXI STAND - DAY
Dex and Shannon stand in line waiting for a taxi.
Dex maneuvers two carts overloaded with luggage.

Shannon lights a smoke and
furiously paces back and forth.

SHANNON
That fat fuck said we were
gonna have a fucking limo.

DEX
I know.

SHANNON
I'm gonna give that fucking SHITHEAD
a piece of my mind!

A nearby POLICE OFFICER turns at the noise
and stares at Shannon.

SHANNON
What's he looking at?

The officer regards Shannon quizzically,
then starts walking toward her.

DEX
Shit.

SHANNON
Just be cool. I'll handle it.

The officer approaches, looking determined.
Shannon stares back defiantly.

He approaches Shannon and stops,
then breaks into a big grin.

POLICE OFFICER
I thought it was you! Savannah!
Welcome to Las Vegas, little lady.

Shannon smiles coyly.

POLICE OFFICER
I was wondering if, uh, I could get an autograph?
I just loved you in "Jailhouse Cock."

INT. OLYMPIC GARDENS STRIP CLUB - NIGHT
The club is posh, very exclusive, very fleshy.
Scantily clad WAITRESSES mill about serving cocktails.

STRIPPERS do lap dances for MALE CUSTOMERS,
most of whom look like they're about to explode.

Intro music starts, something like Enigma.
The D.J. speaks, smoothly oiling the mood.

D.J. (O.S.)
And now, gentlemen,
it's my pleasure to introduce
our featured performer tonight,
all the way from Hollywood,
right off the Sunset Strip,
direct from the dream factory,
star of over eighty adult films --
the delicious, lascivious -- SAVANNAH.

The music changes into nasty techno,
like Nine Inch Nails.

Curtains part, and out slides Shannon.
She's barely dressed and looks nasty.

She moves with the music,
slinking downstage to the pole.

SHANNON
Anyone feel lucky tonight?

She licks it, snake-like.
Everyone is riveted. This is a star.
Shannon slides her crotch into the pole.

SHANNON
Mmm -- I think I hit the jackpot --

INT. BACKSTAGE DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
The brightly lit backstage dressing area is crammed
with STRIPPERS in various states of dress and undress.
You can practically smell the estrogen.

The noise of the crowd and the
music thumps in the background.

Dex sits at Shannon's makeup station
and chats with the CLUB MANAGER,
(black, 50's), who is very upset.

CLUB MANAGER
It wasn't in the fuckin' contract!
I never heard nothin' about no fuckin' limo!

DEX
We always have a limo pick us up at the airport.

The crowd SCREAMS from outside.

CLUB MANAGER
You guys were two hours late.
It's a good thing the crowd loves her.
I almost canned her fucking ass.

The crowd ROARS.
The door to the dressing room FLIES open.
shannon STOMPS into room.

SHANNON
You! Fuck-face!

She GRABS her drink from the makeup counter
and SWILLS IT DOWN.

CLUB MANAGER
Who you calling fuck face?

SHANNON
YOU, that's who!
Where the fuck was my goddamn limo, huh? HUH?

The crowd outside starts chanting. They want more.

CROWD (O.S.)
SAVANNAH, SAVANNAH, SAVANNAH --

CLUB MANAGER
I never heard nothin' about no fuckin' limo!

The backstage door FLIES OPEN.
CLARISSA, a young stripper, MARCHES in,
followed by a BOUNCER.

CLARISSA
Fucking suits!

BOUNCER
They want Savannah back.
They wouldn't let Clarissa on.

CLUB MANAGER
What?

BOUNCER
They fuckin booed her off the stage, man.
I'm afraid they're gonna
rip the fuckin place apart.
It's like they're possessed or somethin.

SHANNON
Well, they're gonna haveta wait a minute.

Shannon SNORTS a couple of
quick lines off the counter,
then points viciously at the manager.

SHANNON
Now listen, and listen good,
you fat fucking little fuck.
They're better be a limo
waiting for me after the show,
or I'll never work here again
AS LONG AS I LIVE.

She STORMS out of the room, SLAMMING the door.

CLUB MANAGER
Promises, promises --

Friday, March 20, 2015

A Little Breather

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Heavy Rotation

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of SPIRAL, Andy and Dex hang out again with porn superstar Savannah in her Hollywood Hill mansion all night partying ... but when she shows them how to freebase cocaine, the party REALLY gets started ...

INT. SHANNON'S ESTATE - MASTER BATHROOM - NIGHT
Shannon and Andy sit on their bar stools
facing the bathroom mirror.

A large mound of coke sits on the
now familiar black lacquered tray.

The trio drink Stoli and O.J.
Over the action, nasty gangsta rap.

SHANNON
The director said I was incredible.
I can't wait to see it on MTV.

ANDY
Do you have the CD? Let's play it.

SHANNON
Yeah, but I don't want to hear it again.
I heard that fucking song a billion times today.

Shannon raises her glass.

SHANNON
To my new career!

Andy raises his. So does Dex.

ANDY
To heavy rotation!

DEX
To inebriation!

They CLINK glasses.

ANDY
You're gonna make it big, Shannon.
I'm so proud of you, so lucky
to have you in my life.

SHANNON
Aw, Andy. I love you.

They get emotional and hug.
Dex looks at the tray. It's empty.

DEX
I don't want to interrupt,
but it's time for a run.
Andy, we can go in my car.

SHANNON
Nobody's going anywhere.
I've got a little surprise
for you boys tonight.

Shannon pulls open a drawer
and pulls out a glass pipe.

SHANNON
It's time to move up to the big leagues.

Shannon pulls a bag from her jeans pocket
and dumps the contents into the tray.

ANDY
What's that?

DEX
It looks like blow.

SHANNON
It was blow, now it's freebase.
This is what separates the men from the boys.
Or, in this case, uh --

ANDY
What separates our legs.

DEX
Our brain cells.

Shannon GIGGLES.

SHANNON
You guys.
(beat)
Okay. Time for your lesson.
Pay attention to the teacher.

Shannon opens the cabinet below the sink
and pulls out a small acetylene torch.

SHANNON
First, you need a little fire power.

ANDY
Fuck.

DEX
Cool.

Andy and Dex are riveted.

Shannon spoons some freebase
into the bowl of the pipe.
She grabs the torch and expertly FIRES it.

SHANNON
First you gotta fry the fucker for a little bit.

Shannon directs the flame at the glass bowl.
Chemistry class.

ANDY
This is so cool.

Dex just nods. He sees Christ.

SHANNON
Just another second. Hold on --

Andy wrinkles his nose at the acrid odor.
They watch intently.

The freebase starts to bubble.
White smoke starts to fill the round bulb.

SHANNON
Okay -- as soon as it fills up --
you suck it in -- like the best fucking cock
you've ever sucked!

Shannon JAMS the pipe in her mouth and SUCKS.
The smoke FLIES up the stem through her lips.

She holds it in.
Her eyes start to BUG.

ANDY
Jesus Christ.

DEX
Shit.

Shannon's face starts turning red.
She's about to ERUPT.

ANDY
Go girl!

Suddenly, she lets the smoke
out with a HACK, then starts CHOKING.
She POUNDS on the counter with her fist.

SHANNON
Akk! Akk! Akk!
HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK, HACK!!!.... FUCK!

ANDY
Shit! Are you okay?

Andy hands Shannon her drink,
which she downs hungrily.

SHANNON
I'm... ah. HACK, HACK! Okay...
(pause)
I'm, HACK, ok-ay... Uh, hem!

She SPITS in the sink.

SHANNON
Whew.

ANDY
Wow.

Shannon closes her eyes,
rushing on the freebase.
She opens her eyes, looking possessed,
exhilarated, orgasmic.

Andy and Dex watch excitedly.
They both can't wait to try it.
Shannon throws her head back.

SHANNON
Fuck me.
(beat)
Lesson number one, boys.
You gotta choke.
It's no fucking good
unless you choke --

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Crossover Dreams

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

A Foot In The Door

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of SPIRAL, back the Playboy Entertainment offices, Andy tells programming executive Cathy about his wild night with adult film star Savannah and her stylist friend Dex ...

INT. CATHY'S OFFICE - DAY
The windowless room is
dimly lit and colorful,
making it look more like a bordello
than a place of business.

Cathy paces, wearing a telephone headset.
A large monitor soundlessly plays porn.

Something on the channel
catches her attention.
She lights a cigarette.

CATHY
T.P, there's too much girl-girl activity.
There's only one scene with a guy.
Legal is gonna shit in their pants,
you know the quota. One scene.
It's almost completely lesbian.

A soft knock is heard from the door.

CATHY
Hold on a sec.
(to the door)
Come in!

Andy sticks his head in.

ANDY
You busy?
Can I come in for a sec?

CATHY
Sure. C'mon in.
(to T.P.)
I'm gonna have to call you back.
Playmate emergency.
(listens)
That's for me to know
and you to eat out.

ANDY
I'll come back later.

Cathy motions to the chair
and silently mouths "sit."

CATHY
(to T.P.)
Later. Ciao.

She takes off the headphones
and sits.

CATHY
So how did it go?
Did you have a good time?

ANDY
Only the best time I ever had.
We had a blast. We stayed up
all night talking, drinking, dancing,
getting completely wasted.

CATHY
So you're seeing her again?

ANDY
Yeah. It's a thing now.
She's incredible. She's an angel,
nothing like in her films.

CATHY
Just be careful, okay?
I don't want to see you get hurt.

ANDY
Hurt? How could I get hurt?

CATHY
We're not talking about the most
emotionally healthy group
of people here, Andy.
That crowd could fill ten years
worth of Jerry Springer.
(off his silence)

CATHY
I'm sure she's a sweetheart, Andy.
Just keep your eyes open.

ANDY
But you hang out with them --

CATHY
Yeah, but it's only because
I'm this big wheel at Playboy.
That's the only way I got
my foot in the door.

ANDY
But your girlfriend, Lana --

Cathy stubs out her cigarette.

CATHY
Lana --

Andy smiles. Cathy BEAMS.

CATHY
Touche.

Andy gets up out of his chair.

Cathy WHIPS around in her chair
and GRABS a video in a glossy,
oversized box and hands it to Andy.

CATHY
Here's a present.
Her latest one.

Andy reads the box.

ANDY
"From Brassiere to Eternity." Thanks!

Cathy lights up another smoke.

CATHY
It's a period piece.
(pause)
Literally.

Monday, March 16, 2015

They Shoot Porn Stars, Don't They?

Friday, March 13, 2015

We Are Family

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Land Of A Thousand Flakes

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of SPIRAL, Andy and Dex return to porn star Savannah's Hollywood Mansion again to party ... but this time, Savannah serves not only cocktails, but also some 'fresh white powder' ...

EXT. YARD - DAY
The Bel Air mansion's small, sloped
back yard ends abruptly at a cliff.

Andy sits near the pool in a Jacuzzi.
The pool area is fenced and juts out into the sky.
The view is breathtaking.

ANDY (V.O.)
Life was incredible.
I was so excited to meet Shannon.
And even more excited to see her again.
All of a sudden work wasn't so bad.
Living alone at the mansion wasn't so bad.
I had something to look forward to now.
Something glamorous. Something sensual.
I was hanging out with a celebrity.
I felt like I had the world by the balls.

Andy stands and raises his beer in salute.

ANDY
Look out Hollywood, here I come!

He leans forward, chugs the beer, loses his footing,
and slips and falls into the water.

Andy resurfaces, choking.

ANDY
Fuck.

INT. SHANNON'S FRONT DOOR - NIGHT
Andy and Dex stand on the stoop.
Shannon opens the door.

She looks radiant.
Andy shyly gives Shannon a paper bag.

ANDY
I brought you a little something.

SHANNON
Oh Andy, you shouldn't have.

DEX
That's my playboy.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
The trio gather at the bar.
Rap music thumps invitingly.

Shannon opens the bag like a
little girl at Christmas and
pulls out a bottle of Stolichnaya.

SHANNON
You in the psychic friend's network or something?
That's my favorite. Thank you!

Shannon hugs Andy.

ANDY
My dad taught me to always bring something.
Makes a good impression.

DEX
I'm always impressed with vodka.

She hands the bottle to Dex.

SHANNON
Dex, would you be a dear and make the drinks?

Shannon takes Andy by the arm
and pulls him toward the door.

INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME
Shannon and Andy sit on the couch.
Happy dance music chirps on the stereo.

SHANNON
I don't know what the fuck she was
doing with fucking Warren Beatty.
"Dick Tracy" sucked. I like her
dance stuff like "Like A Prayer."
That's my favorite.

ANDY
Mine too. That's her best album.

SHANNON
I'm not so crazy about the
religious stuff on it, though.

ANDY
Me neither. I was raised Catholic.

SHANNON
No wonder you're so polite.
I bet you were an altar boy.

ANDY
No way. I'm a recovering Catholic.
Haven't touched a rosary in fifteen years.

Shannon laughs.

Dex walks into the room with the drinks.

DEX
Cocktail time. Anybody thirsty?

Dex hands Shannon and Andy their cocktails.
Dex sits in a chair across from them.

Shannon clinks her glass with Andy's.
Dex reaches over with his, unnoticed.

SHANNON
You're the most normal guy I've ever met.
It's so rare to meet someone in
this fucking town that's for real.
How long have you been in L.A.?

ANDY
I guess about six years now.
It feels like I'm still
getting used to it though.
Most people here are so phony.
Everybody wants something from you.

SHANNON
Tell me about it.
Most guys just want to fuck me.

Shannon looks at Dex.

SHANNON
Thank god for Max Factor over there.
I can count my true friends on my chest.
(pause)
I'm so glad you could make it.
My left boob was getting lonely.

Shannon and Andy laugh. Dex smiles.

ANDY
I know what you mean. I've had a hard
time making friends since I moved here.
(pause)
They should change the state slogan to
"Land of a Thousand Flakes."

Shannon cracks up.
Andy looks at Dex, who winks back.

Shannon pulls a plastic bag out of
her pocket and holds it up. Cocaine.

SHANNON
I think it's time to hit the slopes.

ANDY
Fresh powder. I love it.

SHANNON
Dex. Would you do the honors?

DEX
Your wish is my addiction.

Dex starts the ritual of preparing the coke.
He chops up the rocks with a credit card
on the glass table, then scoots
the powder into six fat lines.

He hands a rolled up bill to Shannon.
She leans down and snorts a line.

ANDY
So Dex tells me you're gonna be a singer.

Shannon does another line.

SHANNON
Yeah. I'm gonna leave porno-land.
I'm gonna cross over.

DEX
You should see her at the clubs.
They go fucking nuts.

Shannon basks in the compliment
and flashes Dex a smile.

She hands the bill to Andy.

ANDY
Thanks.

Andy does a line. Then another.

ANDY
That's so cool. What kinda stuff? Like Madonna?
SHANNON
Yeah. But better. Much better.
(pause)
I'm so much better looking, don'tcha think?
.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

From Brassiere To Eternity

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of SPIRAL, Dex takes Andy to adult film star Savannah's Hollywood Hills mansion to hang out, who's delighted to hear Andy's stories about working at Playboy ...

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Shannon's living room is gorgeously
high tech with funky, outrageous art.

Shannon and Andy sit on the couch.
Dex sits across from them in a big chair.

They sip beers.
A nice, slow funk groove
plays on the stereo.

ANDY
It's a weird place.
It's not what you'd think, you know,
a swingin' sexy love shack.
It's run by overweight, middle-aged
suburban married guys with facial hair.
It could be IBM.

SHANNON
Holy shit.
That's hysterical.

ANDY
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
It's been a long time since
Hefner was at the cutting edge
of the sexual revolution.
I think he's lucky now if he's
on the edge of cutting a sandwich.

DEX
Or cutting a fart.

Andy laughs.
Shannon rolls her eyes.

SHANNON
I have a sexual revolution
every time I go to work.

ANDY
And get this.
There's tons of openly
gay men working there,
and only one openly gay woman.
So you have all
these Ellen Degeneris types
trying really hard to hide
how much they enjoy what they do.

SHANNON
Do you know the lesbian?

ANDY
Yeah.
She's a friend.
She's cool.

Dex pulls a small white
triangular envelope out of
his shirt pocket
and holds it up.

DEX
Anyone for a little candy?

SHANNON
No thanks.
I gotta be up early tomorrow.

ANDY
I'll do one.

Dex dumps the coke on the table
and chop up four lines.

Shannon watches wistfully.
She's abstinent to make
a good impression on Andy.

Dex rolls up a bill
and hands it to Andy.

Andy awkwardly does a line of coke.
Then another. Takes a sip of his beer.

SHANNON
So Andy, do you get
to meet the Playmates?

Dex does his lines of coke.

ANDY
Oh, yeah.
They trot them out each month.
They go on a tour of
all the executive offices.

SHANNON
I bet they love that.
Especially the lesbian.

ANDY
She does.
What's really funny is seeing
these wide-eyed beautiful young girls
being dragged around to meet
these fat, middle-aged guys.

SHANNON
Do the executives
ever do the Playmates?

ANDY
They say they don't.
But I've heard they do.

SHANNON
I guess it's not that much
different than my business.

Shannon smiles at Andy.
Andy smiles back.
They have chemistry.

ANDY
It's so great to meet you.
You're everything Dex said you were.

DEX
What did I tell you?

SHANNON
(to Andy)
You're so sweet.
And you're everything Dex
said you were. Even more.
(pause)
But unfortunately I gotta go to bed.
I have a very early
call tomorrow morning.
I gotta get my beauty sleep.
(pause)
It's funny.
You're the most normal
guy I've ever met.
But we have to hang out.
Are you free tomorrow night?

ANDY
Tomorrow night?

SHANNON
Yeah.
You have something better to do?

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Tricks Of The Trade

Happy X, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of Spiral, stars in his eyes, after much anticipation, Dex finally takes Andy to go visit internationally famous adult film star Savannah at her Hollywood Hills home ...

INT. DEX'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Dex sits on the edge of his bed wearing
boxer shorts and sipping a glass of wine.

Peter, the stud from the club
walks into the room.

PETER
Everything okay?

DEX
Yeah, fine.
I felt the earth move.

Dex goes to the door and opens it.

DEX
I've got an early call
tomorrow morning. Sorry.

Peter puts on his jacket
and goes to the door.

PETER
I'll call you.

DEX
You do that.

PETER
Thanks for the blow.

DEX
Which one?

PETER
What?

DEX
Never mind. See ya.

Peter leaves. Dex goes to the phone
in the kitchen and dials a number.

INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Andy is asleep.
The lights are out.

Suddenly the phone RINGS.
Andy picks up the receiver.

ANDY
(groggy)
Hello?

SPLIT SCREEN OF ANDY AND DEX

DEX
Hey. It's me. Did I wake you?

ANDY
Yeah, but it's okay. What's up?

DEX
I just got laid.
Just wanted to say hi.

ANDY
We're still on for tomorrow night?

DEX
Of course, silly. Go back to sleep.
Call me tomorrow morning. Good night.

ANDY
Good night.

They each hang up the phone.

INT. ANDY'S BEDROOM - SAME
Andy sits up in bed.

ANDY
Fuck.

INT. SHANNON'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Shannon lies in the Jacuzzi amidst
the steam and swirling bubbles.

Candles flicker in the dim light.
She snorts a couple bumps of blow.

She stares into space, expressionless.
A single tear trickles down her cheek.

SPLIT SCREEN WITH DEX'S BEDROOM - SAME
Dex looks out his bedroom window
down at the action on Hollywood Boulevard.

Wide-eyed and wired,
he surveys the hookers,
dealers and the homeless.
Sips his glass of wine.

ADD SPLIT SCREEN WITH ANDY'S BALCONY - SAME
Andy looks down at the lights of Beverly Hills.
He smiles and sips a beer.

ANDY (V.O.)
I guess we all wanted different
things from each other.
We were so different from each other.
I wanted to live the glamorous life.
I'm still not sure exactly what Dex wanted.
I do know he wanted Shannon to like him.
(beat)
And Shannon.
She just wanted someone to love her.
(beat)
With her clothes on.

EXT. VENTURA BOULEVARD - NIGHT
Super - December 15, 1993. Nine P.M.

It's a nice, clear night in the Valley.
Andy and Dex drive in Dex's Jeep.

The radio plays soaring,
over-the-top Europop,
similar to the Pet Shop boys,
A Flock of Seagulls, etc.

ANDY
Look at that. Santa's wearing shorts.
Christmas doesn't work in California, I'm sorry. I
I bet that bulge in his pants is a cell phone.

Dex cracks up.

DEX
Andy.
There's no reason to be nervous.
She's dying to meet you.

ANDY
I know.
I just want to make a good impression.

Dex hands Andy the cocaine inhaler,
which he grabs like a life preserver.

DEX
Don't worry. She's gonna love you.
Just be yourself.

Andy takes a couple of snorts.
Hands it back to Dex.

ANDY
Shit. And I was gonna be Brad Pitt.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - NIGHT
The Jeep pulls in front of Shannon's house.
Lights blaze in the windows.
The faint sound of music
trickles into the night.

ANDY (V.O.)
I had played this scene out in my head
over and over all week, but the reality of it --
I felt like one of the tired and
poor immigrants landing on Ellis Island.
I felt like I was about to
go on stage on opening night.
Like I was an altar boy
about to receive communion.
(beat)
From a gorgeous, blonde superstar.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Sweet Child O' Mine

Friday, March 6, 2015

A Cold One

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of SPIRAL, Andy calls his mother to tell her that he's gonna get to meet 'the world-famous adult film superstar' Savannah. Meanwhile, Savannah appears onstage at an exclusive 'gentlemen's club' in Florida ...

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
A tiny bedroom just big enough for a bed,
a small table with a TV set and a tiny dresser.

Outside the window is a beautiful view
of the lights below in Beverly Hills.

Andy lies on the bed on
the phone with his MOTHER.

A silent TV flickers.
Andy nurses a bottle of beer.

ANDY (V.O.)
I lived in a completely empty
thirty room mansion high up in Bel Air.
I was house sitting for a Japanese developer.
The realtor said I had to
stay in the maid's quarters.
To keep the house clean for when
they showed it to potential buyers.
(pause)
It was even worse than being at work.
At work there were other people around.
It was like living in a mausoleum.

Andy smiles and talks into the phone.

ANDY
I can't wait to meet her.

MOTHER (O.S.)
I'm so proud of you Andy.
Hobnobbing with a celebrity.

ANDY
Thanks mom.

INT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT
Peggy is a nurse. She wears scrubs
and talks on the phone at her station.

MOTHER
Good night, Andy. I love you.

ANDY (O.S.)
'Night, mom. I love you too.

INT. BEDROOM - SAME
Andy hangs up the phone and sighs.
He looks at the clock on the night stand.
It's 1:30. Andy slides off the bed
and goes to the window.

EXT. BALCONY - NIGHT
Andy looks down at the twinkling lights below.
He throws the beer bottle far out into the night.

INT. STRIP CLUB - DAY
The Doll House in Ft Lauderdale, Florida,
a "classy" gentleman's club.

A big sign proclaims the "exclusive engagement"
of "world-famous adult superstar" SAVANNAH!.

It's lunchtime.
The crowed is sparse -

a few BLUE COLLAR WORKERS
and a handful of TOURISTS.

Snarling heavy metal
POUNDS on the sound system.

Two BLONDE AMAZONS do a girl-girl thing
on stage with a large dildo made of ice.

ANDY (V.O.)
I envied Dex so much.
He got to travel all over the country.
Dex told me the clubs were really nice,
not like strip joints.
They're really upscale nowadays.
He said Shannon would make as much as
twenty thousand in a single weekend.
Sometimes even more.
(pause)
Imagine. Being paid to work in clubs.

INT. BACKSTAGE - DAY
Shannon sits while Dex does her makeup.
She takes a few pills
out of a prescription bottle
and swills them down with a cocktail.

The music from onstage thumps
softly in the background.

SHANNON
Ow! Be careful. That hurt!

DEX
Sorry.

SHANNON
I can't wait to get out of this stupid
shithole and get back to L.A.

DEX
No shit.
(beat)
Shannon, I uh...I wanna...

Silence.

DEX
...Um. I'm having a, ah, a hard time
paying my bills this month.

Dex starts working on Shannon's mouth
with a bright red thick lip crayon.
Shannon's eyes narrow. She gets it.

SHANNON
I'm not giving you more money.
We agreed that five hundred a week was plenty.

DEX
Yeah, but, you see...

SHANNON
No! You see here!
Maybe you should stop buying fucking
two hundred dollar Donna Karan pants!

Shannon reaches over to the makeup counter
and GRABS her cocktail. Takes a swig.

SHANNON
If you can't fucking watch your money
it's not my problem.

The pills start to kick in.

SHANNON
Now shut the fuck up and finish my face.
I'm up next, and I don't want to
make my fans wait.

The music fades out.
The CLUB ANNOUNCER comes on the P.A.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
(smooth)
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Blondage!
They sure can do amazing things
with that ice sculpture, don'tcha think?
Talk about a cold one!

DEX
Shit.

ANNOUNCER
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the Doll House is proud to present,
in an exclusive engagement, the world-famous
adult entertainment superstar, SA-VANNAH!

SHANNON
Fuck.

Loud, nasty Guns N' Roses type rock n' roll
dully roars from onstage.

A door opens. The CLUB MANAGER
walks into the dressing room.

MANAGER
You're on, Savannah.

Shannon drains her cocktail.
Weaves a little.

SHANNON
We're not fucking ready yet.
Let 'em wait --

Thursday, March 5, 2015

The Way Of The Gun

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of SPIRAL, Andy gossips with his coworkers on a coffee break at Playboy Entertainment, where we meet programming Executive Cathy Gordon (a character based on yours truly), the only 'cool' executive in the joint. Meanwhile, Dex pays a visit to Savannah, who gets into an altercation with the moving men bringing her stuff into her new Hollywood Hills crib ...

INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY.
Andy and two FEMALE COWORKERS stand near
his cubicle drinking coffee and kibitzing.

ANDY (V.O.)
My coworkers were the best.
The only way we survived the boredom of
adding numbers all day was to make fun of
how absurd it was to work at Playboy.
There was always something to gossip about.

Andy and the two women laugh.

FEMALE COWORKER NO. 1
My god.
Have you seen the LaToya layout?
Talk about digital effects.

ANDY
At first I thought it was Michael.

FEMALE COWORKER NO. 2
Haven't you heard the rumor,
that they're the same person --
It's done with mirrors.

Andy sees something.

ANDY
Hey, Cathy.

Walking toward them is CATHY GORDON (35),
a programming executive.

She's tall, trendy, and very attractive.
In each hand she lugs tote bags
bursting with videos.

CATHY
Hello, ladies.

The women smile.

ANDY
You really watch all of that every night?

CATHY
Every day and into the night, I scour the globe
on my quest in search of the best
in adult entertainment.
(pause)
Crunch those numbers, kids.
I've got a nine o'clock gang bang.

Cathy is gone in a flash.

ANDY (V.O.)
I loved Cathy.
She was the only executive that was cool.
And the only one who would talk to peons like me.
She'd even let me hang out in her office sometimes.
Cathy was rare at Playboy.
She didn't look down on porn stars.
She dated them.

EXT. MULHOLLAND DRIVE - DAY
Dex's black Jeep drives up the hill on Laurel Canyon Drive.
It stops at the light at Mulholland.

CLOSE UP OF JEEP
The entire Jeep is filled with women's shoes and boots.
Frederick's of Hollywood on wheels.

The car radio plays cheerful Euro-pop, like Erasure.
An ashen-faced Dex sits at the wheel.

The light turns green.
He PUNCHES the gas and TAKES OFF.
A thigh-high boot falls onto the road.

EXT. HOUSE - DAY
A house in the North Hollywood Hills.
The split level ranch-style home soars out
in the air off the cliff on stilts.

A Mayflower moving van engulfs the driveway,
furniture and boxes everywhere.

INT. FOYER - SAME
Shannon stands by the doorway
with a beer in her hand.

She's detoxed from heroin
and looks healthy and very pretty.

Two large Mexican MOVING MEN stand in front of her
carrying a large, well-worn box
that looks like it's about to burst.

SHANNON
Now be careful with that.
That's fragile. That's all my pictures.

MOVING MAN NO. 1
Don't worry, lady.

The moving men exchange glances.
Shannon goes into the house.

INT. SHANNON'S KITCHEN - DAY
Shannon and Dex sit in Shannon's kitchen at the bar.
Rap music thumps on a transistor radio.

SHANNON
Thanks a lot for coming over. Moving sucks.

DEX
It's okay. I had nothing else to do.

SHANNON
So listen. I have a proposition for you.

Shannon opens a couple of beers, hands one to Dex.

SHANNON
What would you think about working for me full-time?

DEX
Full time? You want me to drop all my other clients?

SHANNON
I need a stylist all the time, not just on shoots.
Like if I'm going out with Slash somewhere. You know.

DEX
I have to think about it.
Were you thinking about some sort of salary?

Shannon reaches into her pocket and
pulls out a large half-ounce bag of COCAINE.
She places it on the bar between them.

SHANNON
Don't worry. I'll spread the wealth.

Dex's eyes are as big as saucers.
He's never seen that much coke.

His heart races, but he puts up a calm front.
He takes a long swig of his beer.

DEX
I think we have a deal.

Suddenly, a loud CRASH, the sound of BREAKING GLASS.

SHANNON
Fuck! Those ASSHOLES!

Shannon RUNS out of the room.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
The moving men stand looking at the contents
of the broken box on the floor.

Broken PICTURES, a few SEX TOYS.
...and a large, menacing-looking chrome HANDGUN.

MOVING MAN NO. 1
Let's get the fuck out of here!

The men RUN LIKE HELL out the door.

INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME
Shannon CHARGES into the room,
sees the broken box and debris.

SHANNON
Motherfuckers! Come back here!

She reaches down and picks up her gun,
RUNS to the front door.

EXT. DOORWAY - DAY
Shannon holds the gun with both hands
like a demon assassin.
She takes aim, gets ready -
- then, a CLICK.

Dex steps outside with their beers.
He's been watching.

DEX
You have to take the safety off --