It's Not Nice To Fool Mother Nature

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, science genius nerd Frankie Stein finds his undead cheerleader 'girlfriend' Shayla Petrie hiding in the old mill down by the river ... just as the cops, the media, former flame Vita Heck and the lynch mob catch up with him ...


EXT. STATE PARK - THE OLD MILL - NIGHT
Like something out of picture postcard.

A beautiful, old MILL perched on a river.
Spooky in the moonlight.

The giant blades of the windmill
slowly turn in the breeze.

Shayla RUNS toward it.
RACES to the front door. Opens it.

DARTS inside -- just as Frankie arrives.
Panting. Out of breath.

He goes to the front door.
Opens it. Creeps in.

EXT. STATE PARK ROAD - NIGHT
Brub and the vigilantes’ vehicles
ROAR down the road, followed by
a SQUADRON OF POLICE CARS.

Del’s NEWS VAN --
and Willis’ TRUCK.

INT. CHET’S PATROL CAR - MOVING - NIGHT
Chet drives. Chewing his lip.
He sneaks a glance at Beck.

Beck looks at Vita.
Arches an eyebrow.

BECK
That’s quite the makeover --

VITA
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
(beat)
So when this is over,
how soon will you two get horizontal?

Beck and Chet look at each other.
Blush. Look away.

INT. OLD MILL - NIGHT
Dank, dark and creepy.

Cobwebs everywhere from years of abandonment.
Rows and rows of old, empty grain barrels.

Shayla moves slowly in the shadows.

FRANKIE (O.C.)
Shayla. Where are you?
I just wanna talk to you.

She whips her head around, looks.
Can’t see him.

Makes her way over to a stairway
to the second floor --

SHAYLA
Stop FOLLOWING me.
Go AWAY.

And starts RUNNING UP the staircase.
FRANKIE walks into frame.

Sees her.
RACES toward the stairs.

FRANKIE
Shayla, COME BACK --

EXT. THE OLD MILL - NIGHT
The vigilantes’ cars ROAR
down the road to the mill.

SCREECH to a stop in front.
Brub and the rest pile out of their vehicles.
Stand and look at the mill.

Shayla appears in an upstairs window.
Then disappears.

BRUB
There SHE IS.
She’s UP THERE.

RED-FACED REDNECK
(KA-CHINKS his shotgun)
Let’s get ‘er done --
The police cars FLY toward them in a
CRUNCH of gravel. Come to a stop.

The cops get out.
Point their shotguns at the vigilantes.

Willis’ truck appears.
Parks behind them.

CHET
Hold it right there, Brub.
Everybody put DOWN your weapons, NOW.

BRUB
Yeah, right.
You don’t have the NERVE.

INT. OLD MILL - SECOND FLOOR - NIGHT
A large, dark room filled rows of machinery
for sifting and sorting grains.
Now ghostly and spooky.

Shayla stands at the far end holding a pitchfork.
Frankie comes up the stairs.

Creeps in the darkness, trying to see.
He BANGS into something.

FRANKIE
Ow --

SHAYLA
STAY AWAY from me.
You RUINED my life -- I mean, my DEATH.
(low, nasty)
It’s not NICE to fool Mother Nature.

FRANKIE
Shayla, please.
I just want to talk.

SHAYLA
Fuck YOU.

She THROWS the pitchfork at him.
He DIVES to the side.

It HITS a pillar and CLANGS to the floor.
Shayla sees a ladder on the wall
going up to the roof.
She starts climbing it.

Frankie sees her going up.
Starts after her.

FRANKIE
Shayla, WAIT --

EXT. THE OLD MILL - NIGHT
Everybody watches the mill.
The news van ROARS down the drive.

Stops at the cluster of vehicles.
Del and a LARGE CAMERAMAN (20’s)
jump out of the car.
Start setting up.

ON THE ROOF
Shayla comes out.
Then Frankie.

DOWN BELOW
Chet sees them. Points.

CHET
There they are. Up THERE.

VITA
FRANKIE.

BRUB
SHOOT HIM.

Beck whips out a giant 44 Magnum.
Points it at Brub.

BECK
Put the piece down, Billy Bob.
Any of you fucking rednecks so much as MOVE,
and I’m gonna blow your head clean off.
GOT it?

BRUB
(under his breath)
Bitch.

Del stands in front of the camera.
The red light goes ON.

DEL
This is Del Dunn,
coming to you live at The Old Mill,
where pint-sized evil scientist
Frankie Stein is having the final showdown
with his ungodly creation,
ead cheerleader Shayla Petrie,
back from the dead --
(beat)
And I must say, despite the fact
that half her skull has been caved in,
she still looks quite fetching.

ON THE ROOF
Shayla backs away from Frankie.

FRANKIE
Shayla, PLEASE.
Let me EXPLAIN --

SHAYLA
There’s nothing to EXPLAIN.
You brought me BACK TO LIFE.
For WHAT?
So you could finally
get what WASN’T YOURS?

FRANKIE
What?

SHAYLA
Don’t you fucking GET IT?
You’re a WIMP. A LOSER. A JOKE.
I’d NEVER be with YOU --
(under her breath)
And to think I fucking SLEPT with you.

FRANKIE
It’s not supposed to be like this, Shayla.
We’re supposed to live happily ever after.
Forever and ever.

SHAYLA
Forever and ever?
You sound like a fucking
Drew Barrymore movie --

FRANKIE
(starts walking toward her)
Shayla, please.
I need you.
I -- love you.

SHAYLA
But I DON’T love YOU --

FRANKIE
(gets closer)
But what about all the fun we had?
The tree house, our first date?

SHAYLA
FIRST DATE?
You can’t go on a date
with someone who’s DEAD.

FRANKIE
(gets closer)
But Shayla --

SHAYLA
Stay AWAY FROM ME --
(low, menacing)
Step one foot closer,
and you’ll regret it.

DOWN BELOW
Everybody watches them
argue up on the roof.

CHET
Boy, she’s PISSED.

BECK
Hell hath no fury
like a woman risen from the dead --