Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 25 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, as the cops start to close in on him, Frankie takes reanimated dead cheerleader Shayla Petrie to a sex motel to hide out, but when they get there, Shayla wants to get laid, and won't take no for an answer ...
EXT. THE CAMELOT MOTEL - DUSK
Frankie drives the bus
into the parking lot.
Parks down at the end,
away from the only other car.
INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON - DUSK
He turns off the engine.
Looks at Shayla. Sighs.
FRANKIE
I’m going to check us in.
You wait here in the car, okay?
SHAYLA
(looks out the window)
Looks familiar.
FRANKIE
Don’t be silly.
Wait right here, okay?
Don’t leave the car.
(off her nod)
Be back in a sec --
He gets out.
Starts walking over to the office.
Shayla watches him go.
Wrinkles her nose.
Smells something.
Turns around.
Looks in the back of the van.
Big smile.
INT. CAMELOT MOTEL OFFICE - DUSK
Tiny, cramped. The OBESE MEXICAN CLERK (40’s)
watches a shitty little black-and-white.
Eats a giant burrito.
Frankie walks in.
Approaches the counter.
FRANKIE
Hi.
I’d like to get a room, please.
OBESE MEXICAN CLERK
(eyes on the TV)
For the hour or for the night?
FRANKIE
Uh, for the night --
INT. FRANKIE’S VAN - DUSK
Shayla has found Josh’s body
in the back and is now sucking blood
from a gaping wound
she’s chewed in his neck.
FRANKIE
Gets back in the car.
Sees Shayla’s not in her seat.
FRANKIE
Not AGAIN --
He hears a sucking sound.
Turns.
Looks.
Sees her feasting.
FRANKIE
Ohmigod.
Shayla, NO.
She looks up at him.
Blood on her face.
Confused.
SHAYLA
What’s wrong?
FRANKIE
You can’t DO that.
He was my FRIEND.
SHAYLA
But I’m HUNGRY.
Makes me feel BETTER.
FRANKIE
But you can’t eat PEOPLE.
(sighs)
C’mon, let’s go to our room
and get you cleaned up.
INT. TREE HOUSE - NIGHT
Chet and Beck search the tiny room
looking for clues.
CHET
Nothing.
How about you?
BECK
Nothing.
(looks at the bed)
Do you think he fucked her?
CHET
My god.
That’s SICK --
BECK
I’ve seen his picture.
He makes Mark Zuckerburg
look like Ryan Reynolds.
CHET
So --
BECK
Shayla was the head cheerleader.
AND Pumpkin Queen.
You do the math.
(off his look)
What’s the only thing
on a sixteen-year-old boy’s mind?
CHET
To get laid.
BECK
And where would he go to do THAT?
CHET
A motel --
BECK
Dirty Harry gets a gold star.
CHET
I bet he went to The Camelot.
BECK
The Camelot?
CHET
Yeah.
It’s one of those sex motels.
BECK
You mean the kind
with the magic fingers bed?
CHET
Uh, yeah.
BECK
Damn.
I’m staying at the wrong place --
INT. THE CAMELOT MOTEL - THEME ROOM - NIGHT
Done up like a room in a castle, with peeling,
faded ‘brick’ wallpaper.
‘Shitty’ would be a compliment.
But hey, free HBO.
Frankie stands in the middle of the room
looking at the entrance to the bathroom.
Shayla comes out,
face all clean.
FRANKIE
So, uh -- you wanna watch some TV?
She walks up to him.
Takes his hand --
SHAYLA
Fuck that.
C’mere, lover-boy.
Let’s get BUSY.
WHIRLS him around.
SHOVES him onto the bed.
Gets on top of him.
Starts kissing his neck.
Grabs his belt buckle.
Starts undoing it.
Frankie tries to fight her off.
FRANKIE
No, stop -- I don’t want to --
SHAYLA
(WHIPS OFF his shoes)
Tough toenails, little fella.
I’ve got an itch --
and it’s gonna be SCRATCHED.
FRANKIE
I’m, uh -- not in the mood --
SHAYLA
(YANKS his pants off)
What’s the matter?
Don’t tell me you’re a VIRGIN?
FRANKIE
(turning red)
As a matter of fact --
SHAYLA
Well, we’ll see about THAT.
She pulls her dress over her head.
Revealing her perfect, injured body.
Frankie’s eyes go wide.
SHAYLA
FUCK me, Stephen Hawking.
Frankie’s pelvis JERKS.
Eyes go glassy.
A wet stain forms
on his tighty-whities.
SHAYLA
AGAIN?
FRANKIE
Sorry --
SHAYLA
Don’t worry.
We’re just getting STARTED.
(big smile)
We’ve got ALL NIGHT --
PUSH IN ON Frankie’s face.
Scared shitless.
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