Thursday, September 19, 2013
Around The World
Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 20 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, it's a trifecta of clusterfucks when Brub and Adelle get interviewed on TV about their missing daughter Shayla, Willis gets shunned at school when everyone discovers he's the main suspect in her disappearance, and Frankie takes the dead cheerleader out on a 'date,' which doesn't go well ...
INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
A cozy, cheap ‘living room’ set
that would do Good Morning America proud.
Candy Sprinkle sits on a chair
facing Brub and Adelle Petrie,
seated on an overstuffed couch.
Adelle clutches a tissue in her hands,
blinking back tears.
Brub holds a mug of coffee.
Looks haunted. Lost.
Candy leans into the camera.
Serious. Speaks in hushed tones.
We’re here today with Brub and Adelle Petrie,
the parents of head cheerleader Shayla Petrie,
whose tragic death has rocked
this sleepy little hamlet.
Thank you for coming.
I know it must be hard for you,
given the circumstances.
The cops can’t even find the (BEEP)ing body.
You and your foul mouth --
Uh -- is there anything you’d like
to share with the folks out there?
Shayla was a GOOD girl,
not some common BAR-SLUT.
She was PUMPKIN QUEEN, goddammit.
He takes a sip of coffee.
Eyes burning with fire.
(looks into the camera)
Please help us find our little girl.
If we can’t have a proper funeral,
I don’t know WHAT we’ll do --
She trails off, overcome with emotion.
I know one thing you won’t do --
SORRY I haven’t been in the mood to (BEEP) you.
HONESTLY, how can you think of SEX
at a time like this --
I think we’re straying off the topic --
EXCUSE ME if a man has NEEDS, sister.
A good (BEEP) relieves STRESS.
Watch your (BEEP)ing mouth, mister --
You gonna (BEEP)ing MAKE me?
(touches her earpiece)
We’ve just received a late-breaking bulletin.
The police now have a suspect in the case.
Their identity has not been released yet,
but it’s believed to be one of Shayla’s classmates.
We now pause for station identification --
I (BEEP)ing KNEW it --
INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
The usual throng of kids weave around each other
on their way to class.
But now they seem excited.
CAMERA finds a gaggle of
CHEERLEADERS by the water fountain.
Who do you think it is?
I don’t know.
HOT BLACK CHEERLEADER
I can’t believe it’s someone here at SCHOOL.
SHAPELY HISPANIC CHEERLEADER
(sees someone, loud whisper)
I bet it’s WILLIS.
Look, there he is.
Willis lumbers by them.
Dejected. Head down.
He walks over to Kirk,
who’s working the combination
on his locker.
Oh -- hey.
Whataya say after school
we snag some forties and blow a doob?
I, uh -- got a lot of homework to do.
Since when the fuck do you --
Oh, I get it.
You’re TOO GOOD to hang out
with me now that I’m a suspect, huh?
People been talking, dude.
Just sayin’ --
I didn’t KILL her, man.
He storms off.
Kirk watches him go.
(shakes his head)
INT. OHIO BURGER KITCHEN - DAY
One of those low-rent suburban chain restaurants.
Rows of red vinyl booths.
Mostly dead at this hour on a weekday,
but there’s still a sprinkling
of the low-end of humanity.
A HOMELESS MAN nurses a cup of coffee.
A RETIREE reads the paper at the counter.
Picks at his tuna melt.
And in a booth way in the back
sits Frankie and Shayla, studying menus.
Around -- The World?
All the meals have cute names like that.
It’s a bacon cheeseburger
with fries AND onion rings.
I think I’m gonna have the Slam Dunk.
Slam -- Dunk?
It’s a bacon cheeseburger with
chili, avocado and pineapple,
served on a bed of home fries.
Shayla looks at her menu.
Eyes getting a little glassy.
Can’t -- see so good.
She opens her mouth -- a
nd VOMITS all over the table.
Don’t -- feel good.
A CHUBBY WAITRESS (40’s) wearing a
too-tight polyester uniform
appears holding a coffee pot.
Not feeling so hot, honey?
I’m -- sorry.
(over her shoulder)
We got an up-chuck at table twelve -
Don’t worry, we’ll get ya all cleaned up.
Do ya know what ya wanna have?
Not -- hungry.
I’ll have the Slam Dunk,
and please bring her a glass of water.
She’ll decide later.
Chubby nods, walks away.
Cluck-clucks to herself.
Another pregnant junkie.
Skin’s turning BLUE,
and she smells like something DIED --