Child's Play

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Frankie asks Josh to help move his dead girlfriend Shayla from the basement to his treehouse because she 'wants a view.' Meanwhile, the local news does an 'in depth report' on the popular, missing teen ...


INT. HIGH SCHOOL LUNCHROOM - DAY
The joint is packed with LOUD STUDENTS eating lunch.

Gossiping, laughing, each clique
hanging out at their own table.

Frankie and Josh sit alone
in a far corner.

JOSH
So how was your first date?
(beat)
No, wait.
Don’t answer that.
I don’t want to throw up
my Salisbury steak.

FRANKIE
It was so romantic --
(sighs)
I think I’m in love.

JOSH
In love?
With a dead girl?

FRANKIE
She’s NOT dead.
She’s -- different.

JOSH
Oh, she’s 'different,' all right.

FRANKIE
There’s just one small problem --

JOSH
A problem?
Like what?
She’s COLD?
You have to keep her HIDDEN
because everybody’s LOOKING FOR HER?

FRANKIE
No, no, no.
She told me last night
she wants -- a view.
(off his look)
You know, a window.
She says the basement makes her feel --
confined.

JOSH
No SHIT.

FRANKIE
C’mon, I’m serious.
I need you to help me move her
up into the tree house.

JOSH
No way. Sorry.
I’m done playing Igor --

FRANKIE
Aw, c’mon -- please?
I just need you to help me
do this one last thing,
and then I’ll never
bring her up again.

JOSH
Well, that is unless
she gets buried --

FRANKIE
Please, Josh.
You’re my best friend in the world.
You’re the only one I can turn to
in this dark hour of need.

JOSH
(sighs)
You know I’m not very strong --

FRANKIE
All I need you to do
is be my look-out.
No heavy lifting.
Just watch my back.

JOSH
What’s in it for me?

FRANKIE
My undying friendship?

JOSH
And -- ?

FRANKIE
I’ll give you my mint,
still-in-the-box,
original Spock action figure.

JOSH
Lame. NEXT --

FRANKIE
What about my first edition
Superman comic --

JOSH
Child’s play.

FRANKIE
How about -- my Xbox?

JOSH
Have one.
(realizes)
Hey.
What about your Jenna Jameson fleshlight?

FRANKIE
My WHAT?

JOSH
C’mon. Cough it up.
You don’t need it anymore.

FRANKIE
What makes you think I have --

JOSH
You showed it to me on New Year’s Eve
when we got drunk on apricot schnapps.

Pause.

FRANKIE
Oh, yeah --

JOSH
Just make sure it’s CLEAN, okay?

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
CAMERA pans across a row of lockers.
Stops at one.

Candles, flowers and pictures
of Shayla surround it.

A banner reads REST IN PEACE, SHAYLA
above a teddy bear.

A delicate, feminine hand
adds a BOUQUET OF ROSES.

INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
GRAPHICS FLY across the screen:
NEWS FOUR AT YOUR DOOR.

We see a PERT, FADED BLONDE ANCHORWOMAN
and a CHIPPER, DULL-LOOKING BLACK ANCHORMAN
seated at the news desk
fake-chatting with each other.
Shuffling papers.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
News Four AT YOUR DOOR.
(beat)
With Candy Sprinkle --

Candy looks up.
Gives a slight nod.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And Kip Cartwheel --

Kip nods.
Smiles briefly.
Cocks an eyebrow.

CAMERA ZOOMS IN on Candy.
Eyes bright with emotion.

CANDY
Welcome to News Four At Your Door.
Our top story tonight,
little Shayla Petrie,
a senior at Venison High,
who was killed in a
hit and run accident last night --

She stops.
Tries to continue,
chokes back a muffled sob.

Kip sees this, nods,
looks into the camera.

KIP
Police have started a county-wide search
for the body of the missing teen,
who was captain of the cheerleading squad,
and was crowned 'Miss Pumpkin'
at last year’s Harvest Festival --

Candy shakes her head.
Recovers her composure.

CANDY
Law enforcement officials won’t divulge
any details about their investigation,
and are still combing the
scene of the crime for clues --

KIP
We take you now to
investigate reporter Del Dunn,
at the crime scene.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. OLD COUNTRY ROAD - CRIME SCENE - DAY
DEL DUNN (30’s), tall, thin,
striking with a brunette bob
stands by the side of the road in a
short, tight suit holding a mike.

She looks into the camera.
Eyes flashing. Nods.

DEL
Kip --

KIP
So, Del.
What’s the skinny?
Have you rooted out
any intel for us yet?

DEL
Indeed, Kip.
Although Venison’s finest
haven’t given me squat,
this investigative reporter
has been sniffing out clues
like Andy Dick at a pharmacy --

KIP
That’s quite the
colorful metaphor, Del.
So spill it.
What did you find out?

DEL
Well, this hasn’t been confirmed yet,
but police have not ruled out
her boyfriend Willis Grub as a suspect --

KIP
Willis Grubb?
That ne'er do well?
I thought she was dating
the football captain, Brent Brock --

DEL
Sometimes the heart wants
what the heart wants, Kip.
And even if you’re popular,
it can take you to a dark place.
(beat)
This is Del Dunn, coming to you live
at Old Country Road on the
outskirts of Venison, Ohio
in the heart of small town America.

CANDY
Thanks, Del. Quaint much?
(beat)
Next up, Delores DeVore
has some zesty recipes
that’ll be sure to spice up
your next tailgate party --