Don't Count Your Chickens Before They're Fucked

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 31 of GUN-WILD, hitman Gato Weed and robbery homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya follow fugitive bank robbers Cam Clinch and Rod Funk in a high-speed car chase, but when Cam shoots and kills Bobby, the stakes are suddenly raised sky-high ...


EXT. WILSHIRE BOULEVARD - DAY
Gato’s SUV makes through the traffic.
BARRELS east. Gets to a red light.
ZOOMS into the intersection. Cars HONK.

FURTHER ON UP THE STREET
The canyon of high-rises entering Westwood.

The van slows down, as if its
looking for a place to pull over.
But every parking space is filled.

IN THE SEDAN

TAYA
Thank god they’re not THAT stupid.
I’m not in the mood for a high-speed chase.

BOBBY
Don’t count your chickens
before they’re fucked.

IN THE VAN
Rod pulls over next to a parked car.
Stops.

ROD
Hold onto your tits.

BOBBY (O.C.)
TURN OFF THE ENGINE
and get out of the vehicle
WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR.

CAM
What are you gonna DO?

ROD
Ever played bumper cars?

He JAMS the gear in reverse,
STOMPS on the gas.

ON THE STREET
The van JERKS backwards,
and PLOWS into Bobby’s car with a BANG.
The hood CRUMPLES like an accordion.

IN THE SEDAN
Bobby and Taya shoot each other a look.

TAYA
They fucking RAMMED US.

BOBBY
(undoes his seat belt)
Motherfuckers.

IN THE VAN
Cam smiles at Rod.

CAM
Holy fucking SHIT.

ROD
Once more with feeling.

ON THE STREET
The van goes forward a bit. Stops.

Bobby and Taya JUMP out of their car,
weapons drawn.

The van ZOOMS backwards,
RAMS the sedan,
pushing it backwards, into traffic.

THE SEDAN
Enters the intersection.
Gets HIT by a city bus. Buh-bye.

ON THE STREET
Bobby and Taya slowly approach the van.
Now idling.

Taya grabs her walkie.

TAYA
This is unit 2-Felix 13.
Officers need assistance, requesting backup.
Corner of Wilshire and Westwood.
Suspects have rammed our vehicle,
and we are now on foot.
REPEAT, officers need assistance, NOW.

IN THE VAN
Rod looks in the rearview.
Pulls out his sawed-off shotgun.
Cam pulls out hers. CA-CHINK, CA-CHINK.

ROD
Ready, Butch?

CAM
Whenever you are, Sundance.

ON THE STREET
Bobby and Taya slowly advance toward the van.

BOBBY
Outta the car, NOW.
Or we’ll START SHOOTING.

Rod and Cam lean out their windows.
Start FIRING.

Bobby gets it in the chest. BANG.
He FLIES BACKWARDS.

Taya DUCKS, rolls to the side,
just missing Cam’s SPRAY of BUCKSHOT.

TAYA
BOBBY, NO!

She sees him lying in the street.
Blood and guts everywhere.

She SCREAMS.
Grabs her walkie.

TAYA
Officer has BEEN SHOT, needs ASSISTANCE.
Where the FUCK is my BACKUP?!

ROD AND CAM
Take off down the sidewalk.
BUMPING into pedestrians.

GATO’S SUV
Pulls up to where Bobby lays. Sees Taya.

GATO
(leans out the window)
Holy shit. I’ll call the cops.

TAYA
I AM the cops.

A SQUAD CAR pulls up.
Uniformed officers LEAP OUT.

An AMBULANCE arrives.
EMS TECHS jump out, race to assist.

TAYA
(to Gato)
MOVE IT, you’re blocking traffic.

Gato nods, takes off.

TAYA
(to the EMS Tech)
Is he OKAY?

A LARGE TECH checks Bobby’s vitals.
Looks at Taya. Shakes his head.

Taya SCREAMS.
A female officer races over.
Hugs her.

TAYA
We gotta GET THEM.

ROD AND CAM
Race up the sidewalk.
Get to the corner. Stop.

CAM
Which way?

ROD
(points north)
This way. Walk.
Don’t attract attention.

CAM
(rubs her neck)
Ow. He’s getting closer.

They cross the street with the light.

INT. POLICE CRUISER - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Two UNIFORMED OFFICES ride in front,
one a GRIZZLED VET,
the other a green ROOKIE.

Taya sits in the back.

TAYA
(looks out the window)
Fuck, they could be anywhere by now.

GRIZZLED VET
What where they wearing?

TAYA
That’s the fucking PROBLEM.
It looked like TWO MEN, I dunno --
maybe she was in disguise.

GRIZZLED VET
Great. So we’re looking for
either a man and a woman, or two men.

TAYA
So what are we gonna do NOW?

GRIZZLED VET
We’re just gonna haveta wait
‘til they make their next move.

Taya pulls out the pint.
Takes a big swig.

TAYA
That’s just fucking GREAT.

EXT. SIDE STREET - AT THAT MOMENT
Rod and Cam turn off Westwood Blvd.

Walk down a side street.
They get to a vintage Jaguar convertible.

ROD
Holy shit.
There IS a god.

They hop in.
Rod fiddles with the ignition wires.
STARTS it.

CAM
Jesus died for somebody’s sins,
but not mine.

And they TAKE OFF --