Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Breakfast Of Champions


Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 29 of GUN-WILD, robbery homicide detectives Bobby Teen and Taya Ralls interview fugitive bank robber Cam Clinch's father, media mogul Geffin Clinch, who's more than a little peeved about his daughter's criminal activities. Meanwhile, Cam and Rod are now disguised as a gay men, and get ready to pull off their next bank job ... in West Hollywood.


INT. CLINCH ESTATE - OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
A large study converted into a home office.
Fireplace. Walls of books.

Large glass and steel desk with a computer.
Everything, the best that money can buy.

Behind the desk sits GEFFIN CLINCH (50’S),
short, bald and tan.

Bright eyes blink with ferocity.
Sharp as a tack.

And about as painful.
Right now he’s on the phone.

Bobby and Taya sit facing him,
trying not to listen.

GEFFIN
(into the phone)
Well, you tell Malone
that we REJECT his offer.
He’s not raiding MY BOARD.
(listens)
Tell him to shove it up his ass --
with no lube.
(listens)
Gotta go.
My nine-o’clock is here. Bye.

He BANGS down the phone.

GEFFIN
I’m so sorry.
Where were we?

BOBBY
No problem.
About your daughter --

GEFFIN
Yes -- my dear, darling daughter.
(closes his eyes)
So let me get this straight --
(opens them, glaring)
Cameron escaped from the
psychiatric facility,
came here, BORROWED my
TWO-HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR
recreational vehicle --
and then she and her friends
ROBBED A BANK and KILLED
three police officers.
Is that about the size of it?

BOBBY
(clears his throat)
Yes, sir.

TAYA
We realize this must be
difficult for you, Mr. Clinch.

GEFFIN
Difficult? Difficult? DIFFICULT?
(beat)
How about fucking IMPOSSIBLE.
My virtual shopping network
is going out with an IPO,
and if this news gets out, I’m FUCKED.

TAYA
We realize this is sensitive information.

BOBBY
We haven’t told the media any --

GEFFIN
THE MEDIA? I AM the fucking MEDIA.
If her identity is leaked to the press,
I’ll have your asses in a SLING.
You’ll be reading parking meters
in COMPTON when I get through with you.
(off Taya’s reaction)
Oh, was that POLITICALLY INCORRECT?
(BANGS the desk with his fist)
WHAT ELSE do you know?

BOBBY
We just learned that a VW van
was stolen right near where
the Winnebago was abandoned.
There’s a good chance that
she and her friend
are in this vehicle right now.

TAYA
(hopefully)
We put out an APB.
Every cop in the city has the license number.

GEFFIN
Don’t you idiots realize that’s the
WORST thing you could do?

BOBBY
I’m sorry, sir --
but we’re sworn to uphold the law.

TAYA
Don’t you want to help your daughter?

GEFFIN
(to Bobby)
I realize that.
You’re just doing your JOB.
(to Taya)
OF COURSE I want to help her --
but she’s been nothing but trouble
since the day she was born.
I wish I could just --
(wrings his hands)
Her identity CANNOT be revealed to the media.
Do you understand?

Bobby stands. So does Taya.

BOBBY
I understand.

GEFFIN
I realize that as officers of the law,
you’re not entitled to accept -- gifts.
(beat)
But please know that if you help me with this,
I can help YOU.
(beat)
Perhaps -- a transfer downtown?
Where things are little more -- exciting?

Bobby and Taya exchange looks.

GEFFIN
Think about it.
And keep me posted.

BOBBY
Will do.
Thanks for your time.

They leave.
Geffin PUNCHES a number on his phone.

GEFFIN
(listens)
Gato? It’s Clinch.
(listens)
I need you to do a job for me.
Double your usual rate.
(listens)
It needs to be done immediately.
It’s urgent.
(listens)
I’ll send a messenger
with a package right now.
You’ll have it in ten minutes.
(listens)
You can do it any way you want to.
As long as it gets done.
(listens)
My god, man -- you’re evil.
Just check with the cops.
They have the license plate number.
(listens)
How I sleep at night
is none of your fucking business.
Just DO IT.

INT. THE STARLET MOTEL - SHITTY ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
A tiny boombox plays The Cramps LET’S GET FUCKED UP.

Rod chops lines on the table.
Shaking it to the music.

Cam is now in male drag
in her baseball cap and shades.

Takes a swig of vodka.
GRABS her crotch like a guy.
Struts around.

CAM
(low, throaty)
It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A --

ROD
(looks, laughs)
Be careful, don’t get that mustache wet.
Cheap ass piece of shit might fall apart.

He leans over.
HONKS up a line.
Then another.

ROD
Honey -- breakfast’s ready.

Cam grins.
Goes to the table.

Takes the straw.
INHALES a line.
And another.

Then a third.
Rubs her nose.

CAM
Ahhh -- breakfast of champions.

Rod picks up his gun.
Puts it his waistband.

Zips up his jacket.
Goes to Cam.
Puts his arms around her.

ROD
You ready to roll, big fella?

CAM
Lock and load, gay boy.

ROD
Shut up. Don’t call me that.

She kisses him.

ROD
What was that for?

CAM
I dunno. Felt like it.
(rubs up against him)
I feel -- different.
More POWERFUL.
Maybe when this is all over,
I’ll get a sex change.

ROD
Over my dead body.

CAM
(evil smile)
Careful what you wish for --

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