Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Smooth, Round, Hard


It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh. Where the chicks are hot, and the action hotter, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of FULL BODY, we return to The International, DC's most exclusive 'gentleman's spa,' where the girls are now starting sessions with their new clients. First up, French-African gazelle Ayanna starts to work on Chick Almond, the Surgeon General, who has a little surprise in his doctor's bag. Meanwhile, Portuguese goddess Catalina has to deal with Omar Turgenev, the very 'grabby' Turkish ambassador ...


INT. RED MASSAGE SUITE - NIGHT
Ayanna lounges in the spa. Drinks champagne.

In steps DR. CHICK ALMOND (70’s).
A tall, gaunt, wizened shadow of a man.
Large eyes, like a Keane child.
He eases grey, hairless, ruined limbs
carefully into the water.

AYANNA
So have you found the cure for AIDS yet,
Dr. Almond?

CHICK
Chick. Call me Chick.

AYANNA
What, are you gay?

CHICK
It’s a name from another era, I’m afraid.
Sort of like ‘Edna’ or ‘Slim.’
Can I get a bit of that bubbly?
Water’s hot.
(winks)
And so are you.

AYANNA
Honey, if my skin wasn’t so dark,
you’d see me blush.

CHICK
Honey, the last time you blushed
George Bush was knee-deep
in Bolivian booger sugar.
(beat)
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha --
just fucking with you.
Get what you pay for, eh?

AYANNA
(pours drink, haughty)
Sometimes what you think you’re buying
turns out to be a rental.
And the price is too high.

CHICK
Touche.
I see you’re not a strumpet.
Speaking of ‘high’ --

AYANNA
What the fuck’s a strumpet?

CHICK
Ah, vocabulary.
A -- lady of the evening.

AYANNA
Hell, no. I went to the Sorbonne.
Speak four languages.
AND am descended from Ghanaian ROYALTY.
Don’t make me laugh.
(beat)
You said ‘speaking of high.’
You have something naughty
in your little black bag?

CHICK
I thought you’d never ask.

AYANNA
I would imagine the Surgeon General’s office
has only the best.

CHICK
Sweetie. You have no idea.

INT. BLACK MASSAGE SUITE - AT THAT MOMENT
Catalina steps out of the spa.
Wraps a towel around her.

OMAR TURGENEV (45) watches.
Smooth, pretty boy,
the ‘Turkish Victor Mature.’
Adjusts his groin under a jet of water.

But why is he still wearing his tie?

CATALINA
You grab me like that,
you have to pay extra.
Pulling on me like I was Turkish taffy.

OMAR
Come back in. Please.
I keep my hands to myself.

CATALINA
I think we should start your massage.
This is only a forty-five-minute session.
(sexy, teasing)
And I thought ambassadors
made out like bandits.

OMAR
(starts to get out)
We do. It’s just that Madame Turgenev and I
are attending the Croatian embassy ball tonight.
And if I’m late, it’s my head on a wrought iron post.

He goes to the bar.
Grabs his drink.
Takes a sip. Smiles.

CATALINA
Come. Let the angel of Lisbon
take you to new heights of pleasure.

Omar goes to the table.
As he passes her, SLAPS her rear.

CATALINA
Hey!

OMAR
Whoops. Was that your ass?
(puts drink down)
I’m sorry. I’m a bad boy.
Forgive me?

He hops on up.
Catalina turns her head.
Silently curses.

OMAR
Did you say something?

CATALINA
That’s fifty dollars added to your tab.

OMAR
Worth every penny.
Smooth. Round. Hard.
You should be proud.
(lays down his head)
Ready for new heights,
my Latin goddess.

She squirts oil on her hands.
Big smile. Eyes full of hatred.

CATALINA
Then let’s start climbing --

5 comments:

  1. Ooohh.. this would definitely have to go to cable, as a TV show... I don't think would make past the censors at ABC! At least, not the "good" parts! LOL!!

    Mmmm... Ayanna has quite the "pedigree", doesn't she? Somehow, I think it would take more than anything the SG might say, to make her blush... haha!

    I am thinking now, Catalina is my favorite... smooth, round, firm ass... one of my "favorite things"... muaahh!!! Also, the angel of Lisbon is from my birthplace... I will call her "minha princesa pequena" - my little princess! :D

    Hmmm... 50$ to smack Catalina's ass? How much to kiss it? Hehe!!

    Yes... that is what I need right now... a nice slow massage....

    Great story, sweetie!! xoxoxo <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, doll. Catalina is favorite of mine, too. (Had a giggle in the supermarket the other day -- saw a bottle of Catalina dressing and laughed out loud.)

    Of course it was meant for Showtime or HBO. Long story -- the producer who hired me to write it ended up having a nervous breakdown.

    At least it's a great writing sample ...

    xoxo<3

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  3. Haha!! I actually went out and bought a bottle, after reading your blog.... YECH!!! What was I thinking!!

    Thats too bad about the producer... yes, this would be a hit on Showtime, HBO...

    We are in agreement... it is a Great writing!

    xoxoxo <3

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  4. The producer, who was from Australia, started bragging about the show, and then Showtime Australia stole the idea, and now it's one of the biggest hits down under ...

    ARRRGH ...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow... that really bites... grrrr!!! :-(

    ReplyDelete