Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A Pound Of Flesh

Need a little hardboiled action to kick-start your dreary little 'hump day?' Then you've come to the right place, crime kids. Come on in, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cool, and revenge is sweet ... when you've got That Killing Feeling ...

Onto today's episode from HIT & RUN HOLIDAY. And let me tell you, the action really heats up in this one. Disgruntled, unemployed screenwriter/car thief Friday Foster storms into her former temp job boss's office to get revenge ...

Just as white slave trafficker/former marine Bland Loosener arrives on the scene, hot in pursuit ... as he's being pursued by cops ...

INT. THE LAMBERT INSTITUTE - CORRIDOR -DAY
Friday stares at her former coworkers, a manic gleam in her eyes.

FRIDAY
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I’m here for my eleven-o’clock meeting
with a rascally little JEW-BASTARD.

Friday salutes, walks over to a dimly lit office.
PUSHES the door open. HOLLERS --

FRIDAY (CONT’D)
Dann Israel. How THE FUCK are ya?

DANN ISRAEL
(50’s) looks up from his computer.
Beady eyes blink behind thick glasses.
Once rugged, now shrivelled. But still bulky.

DANN
Friday. Hello. What are you -- ?

Friday WHIPS OUT the MAGNUM.
Aims it at him.

FRIDAY
That’s the question of the hour, you little FUCK.
I’m here to get revenge. A pound of flesh.
Some kicks. Are you ready to play ‘spin the Ph.D.?’

DANN
Put the gun down, Friday. Let’s talk about this.

FRIDAY
No. Shut THE FUCK UP
and for once in your pompous little life LISTEN TO ME.
You worked me to the bone like a FUCKING DOG.
Well, now it’s payback time, bucko.
Karma comes back, and this time she’s a pissed-off BITCH.
Now get down on the floor and spread ‘em, motherfucker.
It’s apology time.

And like something out of a martial arts movie,
Dann LEAPS UP and LUNGES at Friday. GRABS her.
They TUMBLE to the floor. GRAPPLE for the gun.

FRIDAY (CONT’D)
No, Goddammit --

Dann tries to put Friday in a CHOKE HOLD.
Friday JABS her elbow into his rib cage.

DANN
Ow!

She FLIES away. Rolls on the floor.
LEAPS UP. GRABS Dann’s Nobel Prize.
THROWS it against the wall. SMASH.
Glass SPRAYS.

DANN (CONT’D)
No!

FRIDAY
Whoops. Hope you have insurance --

Friday hears something. Turns, looks, sees --

A PAIR OF ANGRY SECURITY GUARDS
running toward her, far away down the long corridor.

FRIDAY (CONT’D)
Shit.
(as she runs out the door)
There will NEVER be peace in the Middle East!

Friday races down the opposite corridor.
She reaches a door marked EMERGENCY EXIT.
SLAMS the door open.

A SIREN starts WAILING --

INT. LAMBERT INSTITUTE - REAR ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER
Friday races into the alley. Stops. Looks behind her. No one.

FRIDAY
Smash and grab. Too easy.

She runs to the end of the alley.
Cars WHIZ past.
Then, just as she’s about to casually step into the crowd --

FRIDAY (CONT’D)
Shit. My stuff -- the car.

INT. THE LAMBERT INSTITUTE - PARKING GARAGE - AT THAT MOMENT
The alarm SHRIEKS. Bland pressed against the wall.
Inches toward the Sentra. Looks around. Tip-toes up to it.

A SWARM OF SECURITY GUARDS
race into the garage.

BLAND
points the Uzi at them.
CLICKS the trigger. Nothing. Jammed.

THE GUARDS
WHIP out their guns. Start FIRING at him.

BLAND
runs to his SUV, JUMPS IN. TEARS ASS out.
FLIES up the ramp. Tires SCREECHING. Just as --

A TRIO OF SQUAD CARS
race down the incline. Right at him.

BLAND
JAMS the truck into gear --
and PLOWS THROUGH THEM.

INT. LAMBERT INSTITUTE - PARKING GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER
Friday creeps into the garage. Shouting in the distance.
Creeps over to the Sentra. Opens the door. Crawls in.

EXT. MARINA DEL REY - BEACH CONDO - ROOF - AT THAT MOMENT
Zvi lies on a chaise getting a massage from Nymphet.
He adjust his hands-free cell. BOLTS upright.

ZVI
WHAT did you say?

SPLIT SCREEN WITH:

EXT./INT. BLAND’S SUV - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Bland SWERVES through traffic on Ocean Avenue going south.
A CLUSTER OF SQUAD CARS follow. Sirens BLARING.

BLAND
There were cops all over the fuckin’ place.
You said Santa Monica was LIBERAL.

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