Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Martini Built For Two

Goodby, Ruby Tuesday ... will they ever hang a noose on you? Feeling a little bored? Looking for some hardboiled/pulp/noir action? Well, you've come to the right place, crime scenesters. A place where your darkest dreams can come true ... if you've got That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from HIT & RUN HOLIDAY, and things are about to get a little kinky. Hold onto your restraints, kids ...

First up, white slave trafficker/former Marine Bland Loosener searches Friday Foster's apartment, where he finds a clue as to where she might be heading ...

Then, Friday, now ensconced at the Chateau Marmont, has slipped into something a little ... rubber, and is getting ready to step out for the evening ... and then confronts her neighbor, who just happens to be a vicious gansta ...

Meanwhile, back at Friday's apartment, Carrie Love searches the joint looking for clues, where she runs into Kelly Klaven, one of Friday's strangest one-night stands ...

INT. FRIDAY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Dark. A FLASHLIGHT sweeping the blackness.
A FIGURE rifles through papers on a desk. Talks on a cell.

FIGURE
She’s a civilian, some kind of writer.

We realize it’s Bland.

BLAND
Movie scripts.
(listens)
What else? Just a pile of bills.
There’s no power, no phone, just --
(beat)
Wait a minute.

The light FLASHES on a club invite. ‘Club Fuck.’
With a drawing of a latex honey with a whip.

BLAND (CONT’D)
I just found one of her hangouts.
Invite says some big party tonight --
(beat)
And I think somebody’s about due for a spanking.

INT. CHATEAU MARMONT - BUNGALOW 5 - NIGHT
Saucy, hip-shaking depravity on the stereo.
My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult’s
A MARTINI BUILT FOR TWO oozes promises of sin.
Salvation. Getting royally laid.

Friday’s poured into a red vinyl number that screams kinky.
Thigh-high boots. Maybe it’s the cowl.
Or is it the horns and tail -- that spell ‘devil.’

FRIDAY
(sings along)
I sit here all alone, in a martini built for two --

The deviant sips a Kettle One vodka martini.
SNAPS a riding crop against her thigh.
Evil smile. Steps out onto --

EXT. BUNGALOW 5 - TERRACE - CONTINUOUS
Inky black humid nightfall. Distant traffic sounds.
Ugly, violent, RAP MUSIC blares from Bungalow 6.

FRIDAY
HEY. Can you turn that jungle shit DOWN?

A huge, GOLD-TOOTHED GANGSTA appears.
An apparition in the dark. He raises an UZI.

GOLD-TOOTHED GANGSTA
(British accent)
What the bloody fuck?

Friday pulls out her piece. Aims it. Scowls.

FRIDAY
THIS is ‘the fuck.’

Gangsta’s saftey CLICKS.

GOLD-TOOTHED GANGSTA
You have balls, lady.

FRIDAY
No. I don’t.

Pause.

GOLD-TOOTHED GANGSTA
I must say, you look positively smashing.
Would you like to go to a party?

FRIDAY
(smiles, toasts)
Sorry, big guy. Already got one.

INT. FRIDAY’S APARTMENT - AT THAT MOMENT
A bright swath of light sweeps the living room, until --
It strikes a FEMALE FIGURE in black. Back turned.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Friday?

The woman WHIPS AROUND. It’s CARRIE LOVE.
She WHIPS OUT a HANDGUN. SHINES a flashlight on --

KELLY
holding an electric torch.

CARRIE
Police! Hold it right there! Identify yourself!

KELLY
It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m not armed!
I’m a reporter, K-Kelly Klavan!
I’m a friend of hers.
(beat)
Hoo-boy --

CARRIE
Goddammit. You scared the shit out of me.

KELLY
Then we’re even.
(puts hand on chest, feels)
Talk about beats per minute --

CARRIE
What are you doing here?

KELLY
I saw the story on the news
and I thought maybe I could dig up something, a clue --

CARRIE
What paper are you with?

KELLY
City Weekly. What division are you, robbery?

CARRIE
I’m a homicide detective.
City Weekly doesn’t cover crime.

KELLY
So we’re both moonlighting.

CARRIE
I was -- seeing her.
(low)
Romantically.

KELLY
So was I. Well, for one night.
But as you’ve just confirmed,
I didn’t have a chance,
as she is a sister of the saphic arts.

Carrie stares at him. Wheels turning. Her eyes flash.

CARRIE
Okay. Here’s the deal. I work better with a partner.
Helps not getting killed. Thing is, I’m officially off-duty.

KELLY
So you need a partner.

CARRIE
Yeah. And I need to go undercover.

KELLY
Do I get a gun?

CARRIE
No.

KELLY
Okay. I’m in.
(beat)
You sure I can’t have a gun?

CARRIE
No gun.

KELLY
How about one without bullets?

CARRIE
It’s against the law.

KELLY
But what if you need backup --

CARRIE
I SAID NO. And that means NO.
So zip it, before I change my mind.

KELLY
Alight, okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
(beat)
How about a realistic looking water-pistol?

Carrie pulls out her piece.
Aims it him. CLICKS the safety.

KELLY (CONT'D)
Okay. Okay. Okay. No gun. No gun.

As they start to leave --

KELLY (CONT’D)
You want to go get a cup of coffee?

CARRIE
And what, plot our strategy?

KELLY
Yeah.

CARRIE
Nah. I hate that shit.

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