Unto today's action-packed episode from HIT & RUN HOLIDAY. Better buckle up, kids ... cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
With the media in place, wanted fugitive/screenwriter Friday Foster, having taken the executives at White Line Pictures hostage, is about to make her demands ...
When she's interrupeted ...
By the cops.
INT. WHITE LINE PICTURES - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Jimmy Joe holds his piece on the group. Smiles.
You realize you’ve killed your chances
of starring in ACTION MOVIE 2 --
Fuck your piece of shit ACTION MOVIE.
I’m only here because my agent begged me to.
Like I would co-star with Lil’ Nig.
Jimmy Joe. Put ze gun down. Let’s talk about zis.
Sorry, Girlie-man --
but the lil’ lady asked me to keep ya’ll covered,
an in tha int-rest of keepin’ ya’ll alive,
I’m gonna do jus’ that.
This isn’t a goddamn movie, Jimmy Joe.
Hell, no -- it’s A LOT more fun.
comes in. Followed by Rebecca, holding her mike.
Carrie behind the camera. Kelly FLASHES the light.
Friday goes to the head of the table. Sits.
Coming to you live from White Line Pictures,
‘The Siege: Crisis in Development Hell.’
(to the executives)
Don’t you just love it
when the media gives cool names
to wars and disasters?
Cue the GRAPHICS.
Take me to the global village.
Let’s get that DEMOGRAPHIC.
Rebecca raises her mike.
Cocks her head. Full of importance.
This is Rebecca Diaz, Crime TV,
reporting to you live from White Line Pictures --
where Friday Foster has taken the top executives hostage.
Damn straight. We shall overcome. Redemption song.
Free Nelson Mandella. I have a dream. All that shit.
As you can see, our captor is quite eloquent -- and irreverent.
I’m a writer -- what do you expect?
No, but I’m rather surprised at your flip attitude,
and that you seem to be having fun.
You’re not even scared.
Scared? Can you say EMPOWERED?
(points Uzi at her)
Enough fucking around, let’s hurry this up.
Before I spray your shellacked head like chunks in sauce.
Okay, okay --
so, tell us, what are your demands?
All I want -- is this Hollywood hack --
(points gun at Don)
To apologize for ruining my fucking life.
(whirls to the camera)
And in a stunning surprise,
we’ve learned that Friday’s demand isn’t money,
or anything material, not even a movie deal.
(pause for effect)
She just wants an apology.
In these consumer-driven modern times,
it’s refreshing to see someone who --
Enough with the reportage.
Let Red apologize.
Carrie? First at the club, and now here?
What are you, fucking stalking me?
I want to help you.
If you surrender,
maybe I can help you get a deal,
get a lighter sentence.
Wait a minute.
Now I know where I’ve seen you --
you’re that cop that got suspended,
it was all over the news.
Are you kidding me?
That means we’ve been breaking the law.
Well, if you want to split hairs.
No wonder you wanted to help her --
you’re an outlaw, too.
Kelly? Kelly Klavan?
What are YOU doing here?
What is this? Former-FUCK week?
Friday. Nice to see you. I’m, uh --
here to tell your story.
I’m a journalist, too, you know.
Friday stares at Kelly. Then Carrie. Head reeling.
Well, shit -- I kin read the subtext here.
If these two were willin’ ta risk their lives
tryin’ to help ya, ya must be one helluva lover.
I’ve had no complaints.
What is this, the fucking View?
It’s more like Jerry Springer.
Fuck Jerry Springer. Is like Dr. Phil.
And I HATE Dr. Phil. Fucking QUACK.
Fat fucking tub of lard with DIET BOOK.
Everybody SHUT UP.
Let’s DO IT, NOW.
(to Carrie and Kelly)
Lights, camera -- ANGER.
shoots Don. In close up.
FRIDAY (O.C.) (CONT'D)
I’m waiting --
As the chairman of White Line Pictures,
I’d, uh -- like to apologize --
A DEEP, MALE VOICE BOOMS
over a loudspeaker from outside.
DEEP, MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Friday Foster! This is the police!
We have you surrounded!
Come out with your hands up,
and you won’t be hurt!
Damn. They really say that?