Let's Get Those Fucking Bitches

Happy Thursday, April Foolers! Are you ready to take another trip to the lower depths of evil? Go on a joyride straight to hell? Then strap on your favorite piece, and get your ass over to the coolest hardboiled crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter from our spine-tingling spy thriller NOWHERE GIRL, black ops assassin The Bagger is on the hunt for on-the-lam Homeland Security agents April Street and Cherry Nation ... and so are FBI agents Sunday Sparks and Max Cargo.


INT. BUGS’ SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
The crunchy snarl of The Sex Pistols’ SUBMISSION over --

Bugs and the gang cruising down Pacific Avenue in Venice.
He glances at the GPS. Turns white. Looks at The Bagger.

BUGS
The signal. It STOPPED.

BAGGER
WHAT?

BUGS
(points)
It stopped blinking.

BAGGER
Somebody disabled the tracking device?

BUGS
But according to Honey,
it was implanted UNDER HER SKIN.

BAGGER
Shit, piss, fuck, COCKSUCKER.
(beat)
How close were we before it went out?

BUGS
Just a couple of blocks.

BAGGER
Pull over, NOW.

Bugs does. Sighs. Looks at Bagger.

BUGS
Okay, what now?

BAGGER
You stay in the car.
Lemon and I are going to search door-to-door.

LEMON
Ooh, goody. Like Halloween.

The Bagger pulls out a snub-nosed
Uzi submachine gun out of his coat.
Raises it. Grins.

BAGGER
Yeah. Except this time, the trick IS the treat.

INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS - SITUATION ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
Sunday and Max sip cups of coffee. Huddle in the corner.
Watch the other FBI agents scurry about.

SUNDAY
Security breach at the White House.
Fucking RIDICULOUS.

MAX
You gotta say it was a brilliant op.
Using a tall blond with big tits --

SUNDAY
Idiots are in jail,
and now fielding offers from three networks
for a fucking REALITY SHOW.
Our great nation is going in the TOILET.
They should be fucking SHOT.
(sips coffee)
All that crap on TV makes me sick --

MAX
I dunno. I kinda like JERSEY SHORE.
(chuckles)
'The Situation -- '

NERDY JUNIOR OP (O.C.)
I’ve GOT IT.

Sunday and Max WHIP their heads in the direction of --

NERDY JUNIOR OP
Standing at his desk. Fist pumped.

NERDY JUNIOR OP
They’re at 5218 Pacific Avenue.
It’s ten minutes from here.

SUNDAY
(races toward him)
Good work, Monsterburg.
If this pans out, you’ll get a condemnation.
(to the room)
ALRIGHT everybody, let’s MOBILIZE.
Let’s GET THOSE FUCKING BITCHES.

An older, tired-look agent looks at Max.
Shakes his head.

OLDER, TIRED-LOOKING AGENT
She always so -- feisty?

MAX
You should see her
after she’s had a couple of cocktails.