All In A Day's Skirt

Happy Tuesday, crime busters! You say you're feeling down? Frustrated? Mad as hell, and can't take it anymore? Then get your ass over to the coolest hardboiled joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter from NOWHERE GIRLS, we're at the start of a thrilling four-way chase scene as agents Cherry Nation and April Street are being pursued by black ops Honey Almond, the FBI and the deadly assassin Shao Lin and her 'assistants.' Buckle your safety belts, kids ... cause things are about to EXPLODE.


EXT. PACIFIC AVENUE - NIGHT
A cluster of black FBI SUV's ROAR down the street.
Followed by the SURVEILLANCE VAN
and a squad of POLICE CARS.

INT. SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
Max is behind the wheel. Sunday rides shotgun.
Two AGENTS sit behind them, working laptops.
She BARKS into her hands-free.

SUNDAY
What’s their LOCATION?
(listens)
Roger that. Over.
(to Max)
They’re on Lincoln.
Turn left here on Washington.

MAX
Okay --
(looks out the window)
Hey. There’s Hinano’s.
I used to hang out there back in the day.
Best cheeseburgers at the beach --

SUNDAY
(looks, makes a face)
Looks like a fucking DIVE.

MAX
(wistfully)
Yeah --
(turns, looks, smiles)
Is it beer-thirty yet?

SUNDAY
(under her breath)
Note to self: Thank God I’m a lesbian --

INT. SERGE’S MOTOR HOME - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Serge drives. Cherry, April and Simon huddle on the couch behind him.
April looks out the window.

APRIL
Turn right here at the shopping center.

SERGE
I thought we were going to Hollywood.

APRIL
We are.
But first we have to ditch the RV and get new wheels.

CHERRY
What’s up with that?

SIMON
Spy satellites, chickie.
The FBI are gonna be on our asses any minute now.
In case you didn’t notice, this vehicle sticks out
like a Mensa member at a tea party --

INT. MAX’S SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
Sunday and Max stare out the windshield.

SUNDAY
How’s the divorce coming?

MAX
Mind your fucking business.

SUNDAY
Oooh. Testy, aren’t we?

MAX
I think Ellen Degeneris SUCKS.
What do you think of THAT, huh?

SUNDAY
So do I. NEXT.
(into the phone)
What was that? Got it --
(to Max)
Turn left on Lincoln, they’re about a mile away.
(pumps a fist)
Hot DAMN. Let’s get us some BITCHES.

MAX
(turns, looks at her)
Takes one to know one, huh.

EXT. SHOPPING CENTER - NIGHT
The camper drives through the parking lot.

INT. SERGE’S MOTOR HOME - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
April sits in the passenger seat next to Serge. Points.

APRIL
Go down the ramp into the parking garage.

CHERRY
Aha. There’s a method to your madness.

SERGE
Brilliant. Satellite won’t see us if we’re underground.

SIMON
Simon says, ‘hide and seek’, G-man.

EXT. SHOPPING CENTER - CONTINUOUS
The RV enters the garage entrance. Goes down the ramp.

EXT. LINCOLN BOULEVARD - NIGHT
A black VOLKSWAGON BUG zips down the street.
The new model. Cute. Efficient. FAST.

INT. VOLKSWAGON BUG - CONTINUOUS
Nashi’s behind the wheel. Suzu rides shotgun.
Cleaning a three-foot-long sword.

Shao Lin’s in the back seat.
Fingers wiping her I-phone screen furiously.
She speaks into it.

SHAO
New coordinates, please.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - AT THAT MOMENT
Honey stands at Monsterburg’s workstation.
Sips from an extra-large-grande super-coffee.
Vibrating with caffeine.

MONSTERBURG
Fifteen-hundred block of Lincoln Boulevard.
And be prepared. You have company.

SHAO
COMPANY? Who?

HONEY
(leans into the mike)
FBI. How do you think we got the location?

SHAO
You are evil genius, Ms. Almond.

HONEY
All in a day’s skirt, doll.
(beat)
Please. Call me Honey.

SHAO
Over and out, Honey-pie.
Catch you on the flip-flop.

Honey stands up straight.
Pats him on the back.

HONEY
Good work, Monsterburg.
Tapping into the FBI’s feed. Genius.
One of these days I’m gonna give you a PROMOTION.

MONSTERBURG
Th-thanks, Honey.

HONEY
That’s MS. ALMOND to YOU, Geek Squad.
And if I catch you updating
your Facebook page at work again,
you’re gonna get POKED --