Keep It Under Your Hat

Happy Monday, crime slicksters! It's once again time to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent urges become sins of the flesh, at the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter from NOWHERE GIRLS, agents Cherry Nation and April Street have been framed, and are hiding out in a Macy's department store as the FBI and SWAT teams converge outside. Meanwhile, deep in evil mastermind Honey Almond's underground lair, she plots the girls imminent demise ...


EXT. MACY’S DEPARTMENT STORE - NIGHT
The joint has become a mob scene of FBI, local COPS,
a SWAT TEAM and MEDIA.

NEWS VANS crowd for position behind barricades.
It’s a three-ring circus.

Sunday and Max lean against their SUV.
Watch the commotion.

MAX
Look. TMZ just got here.

SUNDAY
Fucking retards.
Don’t they realize
they could comprise the operation?

MAX
People eat this shit up.
They’ll watch it for hours.
(looks at her)
You realize that if we capture them,
we’re gonna be celebrities?

SUNDAY
Really? You think so?
(thinks)
Damn. Think of all the snatch I’d be able to get --

MAX
(smiles)
Exactly.

SUNDAY
(looks him over)
You’re not as big of an asshole
as I thought you were.

MAX
And you’re not a complete bitch.

Pause.

SUNDAY
Yeah, well -- keep it under your hat.

INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - AT THAT MOMENT
All of the agents, ops and techs stare at honey, white-faced.

Honey paces back and forth. Red-faced.
FURIOUS. She stops.
WHIRLS AROUND.
Points at Rock.

HONEY
How could those GIRLS
have taken out Shao Lin and her team?
TELL ME.

ROCK
I don’t know, sir.
Shao Lin is one of our best --

HONEY
WAS. She’s DEAD.
Do you realize that a STRIPPER
and a STUNT WOMAN
have taken out three of our best operatives?

ROCK
Yes, ma’am.

HONEY
So what are you gonna DO ABOUT IT?

ROCK
I, uh -- uh --

HONEY
I can’t HEAR YOU --

ROCK
Well, let me think a sec --

Honey WHIPS OUT a 9mm Glock.
SHOVES IT in his mouth.

HONEY
YOU’RE gonna take care of them, GOT IT?

Rock nods, eyes filled with terrified tears.

ROCK
Yeth, mummm --

HONEY
(CLICKS the safety)
And you’re not gonna FUCK UP, RIGHT?

ROCK
(shakes his head ‘no’)
Nho, nho --

HONEY
You got THAT right, MISTER.

She YANKS the gun out of his mouth.
Wipes it on the front of his jacket. Sneers.

HONEY
Now go, GO -- take care them.
And if you DON’T, don’t COME BACK.
(beat)
And I will hunt you down to the end of the earth, GOT IT?

ROCK
(nods)
G-got it. Got it. Don’t worry.
I’ll take care of it. I’ll -- take care of it.

HONEY
Then GO. Don’t just stand there.
Get the fuck OUTTA HERE and GET THEM.

ROCK
Y-yes, MA’AM.

He hurries away. Shaking.
Muttering to himself.

Everyone stares at Honey.
Scared to death.

HONEY
Damn, all of a sudden I’m STARVING.
Who wants to order a pizza?