The Spy Who Dumped Me

Happy Monday, crime-stoppers! It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side. A place where unspeakable acts of depravity are always on the menu ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter from NOWHERE GIRLS, Homeland Security agents Cherry Nation and April Street are on the lam after being set up by terrorists at the White House, and are now being followed by black ops spook The Bagger ... who is about to attack their 'safe house on wheels' ...


INT. SERGE’S MOTOR HOME - NIGHT
Serge drives, cigarette dangling on his lip.
Cherry rides shotgun. Watches the scenery out the window.

April sits on a built-in couch on the wall behind them.
Pulls out her cell. Punches a number. Listens.

APRIL
Feets don’t fail me now --
(listens)
Simon, it’s me, April. Pick up.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. HOUSING PROJECT - AT THAT MOMENT
A group of COMMANDOS IN BLACK take position
around the perimeter of a burned-out apartment block.
Looks abandoned, except for a dim light glowing on the second floor.
Leading the charge is a tall, rugged, good-looking bloke.

Meet SIMON CAINE (30), Brit ex-pat.
If Clive Owen and Daniel Craig had a love child, he’d be it.
Lady killer deluxe. Three-day stubble.
Piercing blue eyes glint with machismo smarts.

Right now he’s checking his weapon.
SHOVES in a clip, CHINK.

His cell VIBRATES in his pocket.
He pulls it out.

SIMON
(whispers)
Shit. Not now --
(looks at the number)
Great.
(answers it)
April. It’s not a good time --

APRIL
Sorry to bother you, Simon --
but it’s an emergency --

SIMON
I know. I saw it on the news.
What the fuck?
(sighs)
I’m in the middle of something.
Call you back in fifteen.

APRIL
You’re on an op?

SIMON
About to take out a terrorist cell.

APRIL
Shit. Where?

SIMON
Compton.

APRIL
Compton? 'Taliban in the Hood?'

SIMON
Don’t have time for witty banter, babe.
Call you back.

He CLICKS his phone shut.
The commando next to him smiles.

GRINNING COMMANDO
Don’t tell me. Your ex?

SIMON
Bitch left me, but won’t leave me alone.

GRINNING COMMANDO
'The spy who dumped me.'

SIMON
Funny, Brub. C’mon, let’s do this.
(pulls out his walkie)
Green fox, you in position?
(listens)
Roger that.
(to Grinning)
Let’s take the towel-heads to the cleaners,
whattaya say?

INT. SERGE’S MOTOR HOME - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
April CLICKS her phone shut. Stares at it.

CHERRY
(over her shoulder)
Any luck?

APRIL
He’s on an op. Said he’d call me back.

Just then, a metal cannister
FLIES DOWN from the ceiling.
HITS the floor.
A cloud of GREEN SMOKE starts BILLOWING.

APRIL
What the FUCK?

SERGE
(turns around)
What’s going on?

CHERRY
SMOKE BOMB.
We’re being ATTACKED.
PULL OVER.

Serge turns the wheel, turns off onto the shoulder. Stops.

OUTSIDE ON THE FREEWAY
The Bagger pulls over behind them.

BAGGER
Got you now, me pretties --