Sleazy Rider

Happy Friday, crime motherfuckers! It's time once again to take a trip to a place that's so dark, so depraved, so completely fucked up, that you might not escape alive. But that's half the fun of it, when you've got ... That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter of NOWHERE GIRLS, spies on the run April Street and Cherry Nation are joined by April's ex, Simon Cain, rogue black ops spook, and more than sparks fly ...


EXT. VENICE BEACH PARKING LOT - NIGHT
A black SUV drives onto the lot, followed by more vehicles.
They drive up to the hippie buses. Stop.
Sunday and Max hop out of the SUV. Look around.

SUNDAY
Brilliant cover. Look at those pieces of shit.

MAX
I can smell the patchouli oil from here --

SUNDAY
We’re one step behind them. SHIT.

A surveillance VAN pulls up near them.
They DART over to it as the door slides open.
Inside we see Horned-Rimmed Glasses Tech
and Bald, Intense Tech. They stare, dour.

SUNDAY
(rolls her eyes)
Great. The return of Frick and Frack.
You have any intel yet?

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES TECH
Indeed --

BALD, INTENSE TECH
SAT-53G has just tracked
a brightly painted recreational vehicle --

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES TECH
Travelling one mile south of here,
approaching the vicinity of the Venice pier --

INT. SERGE’S MOTOR HOME - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
Serge is at the wheel, cigarette dangling from his lip.
April has taken apart the computer
and has connected the hard drive to the laptop.
Cherry watches her work.

CHERRY
You’re a regular Steve Jobs with this stuff.

APRIL
An I-mac a day keeps the Geek Squad away.
The question is, how bad was the damage?

Her fingers FLY across the keyboard. A loud BEEP.
They watch a stream of data start flying across the monitor.

CHERRY
That’s good, right?

APRIL
So far, so good --

Her cell phone RINGS. She fishes it out. Answers it.

APRIL
Street here --
(listens)
Simon. Where are you?

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. PACIFIC AVENUE - NIGHT
Simon sits astride a HARLEY DAVIDSON.
Following the camper.

SIMON
Right behind you, doll. Pull over.

APRIL
How did you --
(beat)
Stupid question. See you in a sec.
(to Serge)
Serge, pull over. It’s Simon. He’s behind us.

SERGE
Ah -- the cavalry has arrived.

He pulls the vehicle over. Stops.
A RAP-RAP-RAP on the passenger side door.
April goes to the door. Opens it.

Simon climbs onboard. Goes to her. They hug.

APRIL
Thanks for coming.

SIMON
That’s me. Johnny on the spot.
(looks at Cherry)
So the Doublemint Twins
got into a bit of a rough scrape, eh?

CHERRY
You could say that.

APRIL
(points at Serge)
This is Serge.

SERGE
(waves)
Hallo.

SIMON
Which agency are you with?

SERGE
(shrugs)
Former DGSE in Paris, then Interpol in Lyon.
Now freelance. I am, as they say, an asset for hire.
(smiles)
I like the weather here.

SIMON
(to April)
So let me get this straight.
You’re being pursued by the Feds --
AND Honey Almond’s assassins.

APRIL
Yeah. We need to shake the FBI’s tail,
find her, AND get my kids.
And I figured with your black ops experience --
(looks at him carefully)
You got really banged up --

SIMON
Price of doing business.
(looks at the computer)
You have any intel?

APRIL
Some. Maybe.
Still waiting to see how much
we can upload from the mainframe.

SIMON
Okay. Let’s get my bike on board
and head out on the highway.

CHERRY
Looking for adventure --

APRIL
And whatever comes our way --

SERGE
(sings, LOUD)
Like a true nature’s child,
we were born, born to be wild.
We can fly so high, I never wanna DIE.

Everyone stares. What the -- ?

SERGE
What? Just because I’m French
doesn’t mean I haven’t seen 'Easy Rider.'